Ed, Edd, Eddy, n Edna

 is a non-supernatural spin-off of "The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy" that answers the question "What if Edna existed in the "Ed, Edd n Eddy" canon as Nazz's Cousin?" Stuff will happen!

Story (so far)
The friendship of the three male Eds and Edna all started when Eddy tried to buy a dirty movie off eBay by using the money he earned from his "devil fruit scam". Nazz's cousin Edna moves to the cul-de-sac and wanted friends, sure enough meeting the Eds made her day. However during a incident involving the Kankers, she noticed that one of them was treated by the other two. It took Edna alot of quick thinking but she manages to befriend May Kanker and win the trust of her male Eds.

She soon earns the wrath of Marie and Lee Kanker, but gained a notorious rivalry against Kevin for standing up for the other two Eds and she exposed to everyone why he is obsessed with the word "dork" as retaliation for the "Skipper" incident that befall Eddy months ago.

However with most of the summer spent on being pals, making a new friend in Rachel Carlyle, and avoiding the other Kanker Sisters, there was a arrival of a new girl gang from Lemon Brook named "The Killer Sisters" and they are totally obsessed with destroying the Kankers and ruling their turf... plus Rachel has a history with them. so it took the combined efforts of the 4 Eds, the kids, and the kankers (and a rickroll) to get rid of them... but they swear revenge.

Then love is in the air as the 4 Eds meet 4 siblings from Japan, the Kimonos (Ryoko, Hikari, Kasumi, and Kitaro), thus earning more of Lee and Marie's wrath at the Cul-De-Sac Japanese Festival until Edna forced the Eds to apologize for their actions in "Home Cooked Eds". This apparently shocked the Kankers so they have no idea what to do.

Currently May was stuck with the Eds while Nazz and Edna attended the "Van Fartenshmeer/Espinoza family reunion" and after a incident, expect Eddy to be a bit nicer to May.

After watching WWE Summerslam, Eddy decided to take advantage of Edna's obcession with wrestling and create EIEIOWF(Ed Is Entertaining In Organized Wresling Federation). He kept telling everyone it was not a scam... but we know it was Eddy! To clear him out, he mentioned how Vince McMahon does that kind of stuff too. Things go downhill when the Undertaker's music plays and Lee and Marie show up. (They sure know how to make an entrance!) And so, it seems to be a 3-on-3 tag team match! The Kankers vs. Triple E (Edna), The Masked Mumbler (Edd) and Ryoko Kimono. Kevin took advantage and hit Edna in the back with a steal chair (just like in the WWE) and Edna kicked him ... in the dork! And twice. When Ed jumps from the top rope, everyone in the ring got injured... except for May and Ryoko, Eddy got them out just in time. (It was revealed in the next chapter that this caused Lee's face to be rearranged to the point were she is MUCH more prettier than Nazz and Marie combined, even to the point of her losing her third eye.) Three hours later, everyone was wrapped up in bandages. Edna finally agreed to leave professional wrestling to the professionals. (They're not kidding when they say not to try it at home!) As a running gag, Kasumi and Ryoko interrupt Kevin just when he is about to swear.

In a strange hallucination caused by eating Edna's older sister's "special peppers" they go to Pepperland in a yellow submarine and save it from the Blue Meanies. For some strange reason the four Eds have british accents in this hallucination.

New Characters (Actually some of them are from Grim Eds)

 * Edna- One of the main protagonists and the 4th Ed who just happens to be a female... she has her own wiki page!
 * Rachel Carlyle- Squeeken1's OC a shy bespectacled girl. Often confused for Edna. She used to live in Lemon Brook and was a gofer for the Killer Sisters until she moved away... only for them to go to Peach Creek but only to hunt for the Kankers. She is friends with The 4 Eds (especially Edna), May Kanker, Nazz, and Johnny 2x4 since they are now dating. She is accompanied by Plank's Girlfriend Splinter... a female wooden plank.
 * THE KILLER SISTERS (Julie, Lindsay, and Tara) the fanfic's main antagonists (they make Lee, Marie, and Kevin look like babies) three REALLY bad girls from Lemon Brook who hunt the Kankers for their title of baddest girl in the neighborhood. They are shown to be downright sadistic and enjoy their horrible activites. It took the combined forces of the 4 Eds, the Kids, and the Kankers to get them out of town. They still seek revenge.
 * The Kimono Siblings
 * Kasumi Kimono- based on and resembles Kasumi Tendo from "Ranma 1/2". Ed's girlfriend, is a good cook. She appears to have a strange ability to be unable to be harmed by anything. actually wants to be friends with everybody, especially May Kanker for the same reason Edna wants to be friends with her. She is very maternal to her sisters (and brother)
 * Hikari "Kari" Kimono- based on and resembles Hikari (Kari) Kamiya from Digimon, Double D's girlfriend. She is more of the "middleman" of the Kimono clan just like how Double D is to the Eds. She calls him "Sock-hat-kun" and doesn't trust Marie Kanker.
 * Ryoko Kimono- based on and resembles Ryoko Hakubi from Tenchi Muyo, Eddy's girlfriend. Seems to be tomboyish, rowdy and loves "tea" but she hates it when he scams because it makes her look bad and she REALLY hates it when Eddy is acting like a perv. hates Kevin and Lee Kanker. It was later revealed she was a horrible troublemaker until Kasumi taught her right from wrong just by flicking her head when she misbehaves.
 * Kitaro Kimono- based on and resembles Kitaro from "Ge Ge Ge no Kitaro", Edna's boyfriend. A mature boy his age, Kitaro has great people skills and enjoys a life of peace and serenity with his older sisters, his friends, and his girlfriend Edna. Like Edna he belives in a world where bullying doesn't exist and everyone must "be exellent to each other" and "party on". His Kimono's pattern resembles his namesake's Chanchanko vest and also wears the geta sandals. Lee Kanker doesn't like him because he protected Edna from her by kicking his geta sandals at her face.
 * Jennifer- Yukimizuno's OC and the same Jennifer from the fanfic "The Aspie Girl". Jennifer is a young girl who like Rachel also moved to Peach Creek. She is diagnosed with Aspergers but it didn't stop her in making friends with the 4 Eds, Rachel, Nazz, May, and the other kids, even to the point where the kids formed a angry mob after Kevin said horrible things about her on Edna's Birthday Party. She enjoys cross stitching with Rachel.
 * Don Patch- a orange sun shaped being from the anime "Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo" and Wiggin Specialist. He hangs out in the Cul-De-Sac because now that the show show and comic ended he doesn't have a job so he shows up from time to time and everytime he does something "wiggin" happens. He belives that he is the main character of the fanfic and not the four Eds (at least in his own head). His appearance confirmed that Edna has a weakness for Churros.

Quotes
May: Oh I get it, you have a obscenity for a name... I have some relatives with a similar problem like Aunt (CENSORD), Cousin (OH THAT'S SUCH A HORRIBLE WORD!) and uncle (CAN'T PRINT THIS IN A FANFIC).
 * Edna: Sorry but I cannot reveal my name for you might think differently of me.


 * Edna: I never told you guys this but I'm actually good at imitating voices so listen to this. (Edna then tickles her throat and shouts in Lee Kanker's voice:) HEY MARIE, CHECK THIS OUT, THE NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR IS TAKING OFF HIS SHIRT AGAIN!

Ed: What's wrong Eddy? Normally you get us to bet on the races and I end up betting on the "Dic Dastardly and Muttley in the Mean Machine 00! Edd: ED! Why would you bet on those cheating rouges? You know they never win a race! Ed: Nothing, nothing, just go watch the race. (Then it turns out "the Gruesome twosome in the Creepy Coupe 02" that won the race) Nazz: HEY EDNA! YOUR CAR WON! Edna: Yippee! I guess that means Ed treats us to ice cream tomorrow!
 * (Ed, Double D, and Nazz are watching a episode of "Wacky Races")

Edna: It's Emily, Emily Erma Espinoza... what's your older brother's name? Eddy: Well my older brother's name is... (chapter ends)
 * Eddy: My older brother is a whiz at stuff to... oh right he's dating your older sister, umm what's her name?

Edna: Who are you calling ridicu-mous? Well, what about your fear of Poverty? Eddy (falls to the floor and shivers): Double D told you about that?
 * Eddy: I had enough of this! (opens door) HEY EDNA!, YOU GOT TO GET OVER THIS RIDICULOUS FEAR OF CLOWNS!

Edna: They're not oranges, they're "tangellos". Edd: Okay, what's with all the tangelos? Edna: Clowns hate tangellos. Messes with their equilibrium. Ed: Tangellos give me rashes!
 * Eddy: Now what's with all the oranges?

Edd: EDNA! LANGUAGE! Edna: I was gonna say "tough stuffing"... as in what you put in a turkey! Edd: Well that's ok then... I guess...
 * Edna: That's right! Compared to those three you two are human... but May is my bff and if you don't like it then tough s...

Edna: In case you haven't kept score, I'm the one Ed with the most common sense here! Eddy: .... Touche' Edna!
 * Eddy: Leader! Who made you leader? I'm the leader here!

Ed: CANADIANS ARE WEIRD!
 * Edna: May, I hope you and your sisters don't mind being bait but we need what it takes to get them here long enough for our trap to work... oh and did you bring the "Canadian squirt guns" filled with your special glue? Because that's good enough to trap them where we want them.

Edna: I take two steps forward Eddy: I take two steps back Both: We come together Edna: Cuz I am dressed like a cat! And you know, it ain't fiction Eddy: Just a natural fact Both: We come together Edna: Cuz I...am dressed...like a cat! meow!
 * (Sung to the tune of "Opposites Attract" by Paula Abdul)

- ''"We've know each other for so long Your hearts been aching and you're not too shy to say it Inside we both know whats been going on We know the game and were gonna play it
 * Eddy: Since you vultures took our pants now's the time for revenge... I'm here to tell you that you... GOT RICK ROLLED!

And I just want to tell you how Im feeling Got to make you understand,

Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you"'' - Ed: I LIKE RICK ROLLING!


 * Eddy [narrating the event]: "HEY WHAT IS THAT! It look like Kevin is running to the ring and he appears to have a steel chair in his hands. Kevin climbs into the ring and he... OMG! He just hit Edna in the back with the metal chair. He gives her a look and laughs that says, "Take that you dork! This is for being a Ed, making me lose Nazz, and befriended that Kanker!" Edna retaliates by performing some sort of punch to Kevin's... YES! She punched him right in the "dork", he feels pain but starts slapping Edna in the face and she knees him in the "dork" again.

Rachel: Just like why Cartoon Network started showing "CN Real"... no one knows!
 * Ed: Holy Misandry Rachel! Why are snacks given to girls for free?


 * Ryoko: "Before my friends battle your sisters I have one question to ask... put your ear next to my mouth cuz' I'm going to whisper it in it... 'xcuse me while I get my bullhorn... and I'm going to tickle my throat... ok... WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM!!!!"


 * Ed: "What would Dirk do in this situation against something worse than a Kanker and Singe the Dragon... If I attack her surely this would happen: [Ed pulls out his wooden sword and decides to attack Lindsay Killer but she sets the sword on fire and jumps at Ed, smothering him in hugs and kisses until he dies of a heart attack] But if I were to run away from the "heck-spawn", surely this would happen: [Ed runs off but he bumps into a team member of the Lemon Brook Lumpers and he pounds him to the ground] And if I chose eat peanut butter sandwiches without drinking milk, surely this would happen: [Ed has peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth with no luck of getting it off] So I shall watch her moves!"

Ed: "Oops! You really don't have gills under there!" Edd: "Oh you think! Now Edna and the Kanker Sisters know!" Eddy: "OH THE HUMANITY!" Lee: "My two eyes! They burn!" Marie: "I lusted over that?" May: "Double D... does it really hurt?" Edna: "Cool! Wait here while I get my Minolta! Wait till Fangoria Magazine sees this!" Edd: "You will do no such thing! Please end this chapter Mr. Technomaru!" [chapter ends]
 * [after Ed took off Edd's hat]

Trivia

 * This is indeed a alternate universe version of "The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy" but with no weird supernatural stuff happening at all... exept for the "Thriller" parody.
 * The author had alot of thought into the OCs of this story. He claims that he noticed that "Ed, Edd, n Eddy", the show doesn’t have POSITIVE female characters because the females on this show are rather mean to the Eds and Nazz despite being sweet, sometimes can be seen laughing at or beating up the Eds but it’s possible she does that only when the other kids do it. He also wanted the Eds to have NICE girlfriends who will treat them right (think “Anti-Kankers”) so that’s why he created the Kimono Sisters, years later he did the same thing for Edna as was the result of a question often asked by her creator, "What if there was a fourth Ed and it turned out to be a female?" The author also makes other OCs who are females because he once asked this question, "Are there any females who are NICE to the Eds?" The Killer Sisters areactually based on and named after three girls who used to tease the author back in high school... but the characters are just exaggerated versions of them and they were the result of the Author thinking, "What if there was ANOTHER group of bad girls who just happen to be even worse than the Kankers...
 * The Author just liked the OCs Rachel and Jenny so he asked if they should appear and he got the permission.
 * The author dedicated Chapter 16 of EEEnE to Michael Jackson (1959-2009) and wrote it on the night he died.
 * Chapter 6 was a parody of the movie "King of Kong"
 * Chapter 8 reveals Edna's Coulrophobia.
 * Chapter 9 was a parody of "MTV's Jack@$$" and dedicated to the loving memory of Sandra Cantu (2001-2009)
 * Chapter 12 had a message that the author's cousin got married on the day he published it.
 * Chapter 15 was a retelling of the classic fairy tale "The Animals of Bremen and it casted Ed, Edd, Eddy, n Edna as a donkey, a rooster, a dog, and a cat, respectively.
 * Chapter 19 is a obvious parody of the 1985 movie "Weird Science" and the author wrote it for three reasons, one was that the movie's director John Huges died, another was he wanted to parody the movie in "The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy" and the last reason was so he can have the Eds wear bras on their heads for "ceremonial reasons"
 * Chapter 22 is a obvious surreal parody of the 1968 animated movie "The Beatles: Yellow Submarine" and it involves the 4 Eds as the fab 4. (Ed= Ringo, Edd= Paul, Eddy= George, Edna=John) That and Fred Fredburger appears in the fanfic but since the whole thing was a hallucination caused by eating Edna's sister's "special peppers" then it's possible.
 * Chapter 23 is a parody of "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown", right down to Eddy constantly getting rocks.
 * Chapter 24 is a parody of the 1983 Disney movie "Something Wicked this Way Comes" right down to Lindsay Killer being a parody of Mr. Dark.
 * Chapter 25 has a reference to the 80's video game and animated series "Dragon's Lair", right down to Ed being dressed as Dirk the Daring on halloween, and deciding what act of bravery he should do and what consiquence would happen... just like what happens in the show.
 * Chapter 26 is a parody of the 1983 mini-series "V" as well as the 2009 version of "V". And uses the story as a alligory for the accusations of his OCs being "Mary Sues" by having them as Visitors.
 * The "Poke-a-man" and "the Naughty Boy Channel' jokes in chapter 20 were originally from the Author's Fairly Oddparents fanfic "Timmy Turner and Hootch
 * Chapter 20 explains how Nazz got fat in "Every Which Way But Ed".
 * Ed: "I LIKE RICK ROLLING!" This is what Cheese (from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends) said when Rick Astley appeared by surprise in Macy's Thanksgiving Parade and sang "Never Gonna Give You Up".
 * Ryoko: "Eddy don't even think of laughing at the name "breast cancer" just because it had the word "breast" in it!" This is a reference to Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show, when Eddy thought the word "sextant" was funny just because Edd said it the way he said it.
 * Apparently, the ONLY time Eddy doesn't laugh at the word "breast" is if it involves breast cancer... not even he finds breast cancer funny... breast cancer is never funny...
 * Chapter 21 features the return of the Masked Mumbler (Edd).
 * Aparently Edna is obsessed with wrestling: just look at how she was acting when she was seeing it! (but she was still scared of Doink the Clown due to her Coulrophobia)
 * Alot of Anime and Manga is referenced in this story, Chapter 23 is a huge example, right down to Edna dressing up as Arale Norimaki from "Dr. Slump"
 * Apparently, Edna's favorite Halloween Costume is dressing up as Arale Norimaki from the 80's anime "Dr. Slump".
 * The Author plans a crossover with "The Smurfs".
 * Edd breaks the fourth wall in chapter 26 by saying "You will do no such thing! Please end this chapter Mr. Technomaru!"