Lord Purvis Kankorator

Purvis Landon Kankorator (1731 to 1807), better known as 'Lord Kanker', was an Anglo-Scottish nobleman and explorer, famous for the settlement of the Oregon and Washington coast. His tendency to fret over minor details earned him the nickname 'Lord Kanker', because it always seemed that he, 'had a sore mouth, an' took it out on ev'rybody else.' It should be noted that his fiery red hair often obscured his eyes, much like his ancestor, Lee, and earned him the nickname 'Haystack From Hell', due to his fickle temperament, also not dissimilar to the current Kanker Sisters.

P.L. Kankorator was born on May 1st, 1731, to the previous Lord Kankorator, Marley O'Huiginn Kankorator, and his wife. It was said that his interests were varied, often hunting, fishing, reading, or stargazing. At ten years old, he first learned to mount a horse.

With the death of his mother and father at the hands of highway robbers, a thirteen-year-old Purvis inherited the domain and communal farm over which the Kankorators presided (It was often presumed there was foul play, but nothing can be proven.). Within a year, the bankrupt, inefficient farm was modernized, and began turning out a steady profit, allowing Lord Kanker to invest in several shipbuilding companies, sending him to explore the timberlands of the New World.

At the time of the American Revolutionary War, Kanker was a non-commissioned officer in a cavalry regiment of the British Army. There, the rough, shabby-looking Scot often clashed with the baronet who presided over him, until the baronet was murdered (presumably by Kanker), and replaced by Purvis himself. The baronet described Purvis Landon as 'Hard to handle, bad-tempered and foul-mouthed', going so far to call him, '..A menace, completely different from the Southern noblemen with whom I have conversed..'

Under Kanker's command, 'HM George III's Scottish Cataphracts' (known more popularly as 'The Scottish Cataphracts') ambushed groups of American volunteers, by riding in from behind, and pushing them toward the main force of British troops. Such was dangerous work, with the regiment suffering more than eighty friendly-fire incidents within the war, though most not serious. Kanker's more-famous 'hit-and-run' tactic involved the arming of his men with grenades, and galloping past the target at great speed, before dropping the grenade through a window of a building, or into a massive infantry formation. These tactics made the Scottish Cataphracts a valuable asset, and put Kanker in line to lead the Royal Scots Grays, though he declined.

After the war, there were tales of the vast profits of the Hudson's Bay Company, and the exploration the Pacific Northwest by Royal Navy officer, Peter Puget. Kanker, selling his shipyards, procured a small group of hunter-trappers and several decommissioned caravels, and after a long trip around the tip of South America, arrived in what is now the city of Seawall, Washington. Naming it 'Saint George', after the current British king, he established his fort upon a large cliff, overlooking the sea, and founded the Kanker Long Beach Company in 1799.

Hunting for otter and beaver, the Company crafted some of the finest menswear of the period. Their top hats and frock coats were world-renown, and found there way into stores worldwide.

After serious conflicts with the Chehalis tribes, Kankorator received support from British troops, which allowed him to challenge the established Dutch Schipper Company, which operated out of Fort Peach Creek, ran by Eddy's ancestors (Please note that 'Schipper' is Dutch for 'Skipper'). After repeated attempts to acquire their company, a drunken card game ended in Lord Kanker's favor, as he acquired the entire Schipper Company as a bet. Elated, Kanker had a serious stroke, and went into a coma, that lasted three years. In the meantime, his son, Boston Landon Kankorator, took over all noble responsibilities, as well as the two companies, which he merged.

After awakening briefly from the coma, Purvis claimed he had seen his mother, and passed away on his birthday, May 1st, 1807. His company continued to be profitable, even after the burning of the original fort in 1858, by Benito Garcia. Long Beach Company later became a successful chain of convenience stores in the Northwest, before being absorbed by Supa Save! in 1992.