Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Movie/Transcript

This is the Transcript of Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Movie.

A Street

Eddy: "I'm telling you, Double D, your ball is flat."

Edd: "It's not flat. It's just a little low on air."

(The ball pops and deflates)

Eddy: "Like I said, your ball is flat. Hey, I still can't believe we let those fifth graders beat us."

Edd: "Well, the important thing is we tried our best."

Ed: "The important thing is we got our buns whooped."

Edd: "Come on guys, we had fun. And we almost beat 'em."

Eddy: "Why do you do that Double D?"

Ed: "Yeah, why do you always have to look on the bright side?"

Edd: "Somebody has to.

(The Eds notice FTi helicopters, and a crowd of citizens)

Edd: "Mr. Miller, what's going on?"

Mr. Miller: "It's Scheck. He wants to buy up the whole neighborhood so he can knock it down and put up a fancy mall."

Edd: "Who's Scheck?"

(The crowd is watching TV)

Reporter (on TV): "The plan, which was approved by the mayor just moments ago, would allow Future Tech Industries to redevelop an entire block area connected to a Cul-De-Sac in the city of Peach Creek. Oh, I understand the president and CEO of Future Tech Industries, Mr. Scheck, is about to make a statement."

Scheck (on TV): (To the mayor) "Thank you. I just want to say I'm delighted at the mayor's support of our renewal plan."

Eddy: "Nice suit."

Random Citizen: "Sh!"

The Mayor: I am behind Mr. Scheck's project one hundred percent.

(camera flashes)

Scheck (on TV): Although some of you in the affected area may have concerns about how this plan will impact your homes and businesses, let me assure you; change is good. This plan represents the end of urban decay, the end of your broken-down shops and apartment buildings, the end of antiquated and dilapidated storefronts. It's time for a new world. Out with the old, in with the new.

Edd: "What's wrong with old things? Some old things are great."

Rolf: "Yeah, like Mrs. Vivian."

Mrs. Vivian: (hits Rolf over the head with flowers) "Whippersnapper."

Rolf: "Ow!"

Mr. Miller: "This has been goin' on for months. The city council recommended against it, but the mayor's lettin' him do it anyway. I never figured he could pull it off."

Ed: "What does it mean?"

Mr. Miller: "It means they want us to sell out, move away so this Scheck character and his big corporation can move in."

Crowd: "No!"

Rolf: "No way!"

Scheck (on TV): "It's time to put the past behind us. I have seen the future, and it's Future Tech Industries."

Sarah: "But this is our neighborhood!"

Nazz: "They can't just tear it down."

Jonny (singing): "This is our neighborhood! How can they tear it down!? How can they turn our smile Into a frown!? We may be just a few. But if me and you and you!

(Edd switches off the stereo)

Edd: "No. No singing, Jonny."

Jonny: "But Plank and I thought the occasion called for it. (singing) We may be just a few..."

Edd: "No. This is serious."

(A truck carrying a bulldozer is speeding down the street)

Crowd: "Oh, my..."

Mr. Miller: "We can't take this lying down. We should do something!"

Kevin: "Yeah, but what can we do?"

Edd: "We can refuse to sell our houses."

Eddy: "Well, I'll sign a petition!"

Edd: "Yeah. Let everybody know this is our neighborhood and we're not giving it up without a fight!"

Lee Kanker: (watching from a roof) "Hah! Those Eds! What a bunch of annoying little goody two-shoes. What a bunch of dopey little dreamers. What a bunch of corny little cornballs.

Marie Kanker: "Always going around trying to get everyone to look on the bright side and do the right thing."

May Kanker: "Yeah, how I despise them."

Lee Kanker: "And yet... I love Eddy! I love him!"

Marie Kanker: "An I love Double D!"

May Kanker: "And I love Ed so much!"

Marie Kanker: "I love Double D's unerring sense of right and wrong. I love his unfailing insistence on the needs of the many over the needs of the few. But most of all I love the way his hair smells from under his hat when I get real close behind him and he doesn't know I'm there, but then he turns and looks at me funny and I scowl at him and make an excuse for being so close, and then I insult him just to cover up the secret, adoring feelings for which I have so long and painfully harbored. Oh, Double D."

Edd: "Mr. Miller can write a petition."

Mr. Miller: "Say no more, Edward. I'm already working on it."

Marie Kanker: "If only I could find the guts to tell you and your friends. If only we weren't such cowards. If only we had your strengths."

Edd: "We'll take it around the neighborhood and get everybody to sign it."

Marie Kanker: "But what if you lose?"

May Kanker: "Yeah, what if the neighborhood is torn down, and you fellas have to move away, and we are separated, and we never see each other again, and we never, ever seize the chance to tell you how we really feel about you three?"

Lee Kanker: "Oh, Ed, Edd n Eddy, how we love you guys."

(The Mysterious Boy from Peach Creek Junior High appears from a chimney, dressed up as a chimney sweep. Lee smacks him.)

Kankers' Trailer

(The Kanker Sisters come home)

Lee Kanker: "Dad!"

May Kanker: "Father!"

Marie Kanker: "Daddy!"

Lee Kanker: (To Bebe sleeping on a table) "How's it going, Mom?"

Bebe: "Oh. Molasses, it's you girls."

(The Kankers hear voices and come to see what's going on)

Benjamin: "Okay, great, but where's the store go?"

(Benjamin, Bobby, Rod, and Nick Vermicelli, are seen gathered aroung a model of the neighborhood on a table)

Nick Vermicelli: "Alright. Right here. Benjamin, Bobby and Rod's Beeper Emporium. Big sign, can't miss it from the threeway, and the overpass drops you big-bang-boom right in the parkin' lot."

Benjamin: "That's good. Yeah, right in the stinkin' lot."

Lee Kanker: "Dad?"

Benjamin: "What do you want, Lee?"

Lee Kanker: "Could we talk to you?"

Nick Vermicelli: "We gotta split anyway, Benjamin. We'll talk."

Benjamin: "Right, we'll talk. And send us the paperwork, we can't wait to get started. Hey, can we keep this pop-up thing?

(Benjamin points at the model)

Nick Vermicelli: "You got it."

(Nick leaves the room)

Bobby: "Alright."

Rod: (To the Kankers) "You know what this is? It's our future."

Benjamin: "See, here's where our new Super Beeper Emporium is gonna go up, right after we rip down the toy shop, and the candy store and the rest of the block and Cul-De-Sac."

Lee Kanker: "Uh yeah, well, uh, about all that, Dad... I mean a lot of people are gonna have to move away and sell their businesses."

Benjamin: "Yeah, what's your point?"

Marie Kanker: "Well, we were just wondering if this whole tear-down-the-neighborhood Future Tech thing is really necessary."

Bobby: "Of course, it's necessary."

Rod: "And it's more than necessary. It's progress. You can't have progress without a little pain. No pain, no gain."

May Kanker: "But what's wrong with leaving things the way they are?"

Benjamin: "I'll tell you what's wrong with it, missy. Leave things the way they are and Benjamin, Bobby and Rod's Super Beeper Emporium doesn't happen."

May Kanker: "But Dads..."

Benjamin: "Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey! I'll say this once, and I want you to hear it, little lady. Change is good. When the new Benjamin, Bobby and Rod's Super Beeper Emporium goes up, the cash is gonna roll in and you girls will forget all about the old neighborhood. And do you know why? Because we'll be rich. And that means you three will be rich. You can have those ponies you girls been wantin'."

Marie Kanker: "Dads, we wanted ponies when we were five."

Bobby: "Uh. Well, what do you girls want now?"

Lee Kanker: "We don't know."

Benjamin: "Well, make up your minds, 'cause once this neighborhood goes down and our store goes up, you three can have anything you want. And we mean anything."

Rod: "That's right, anything."

Lee Kanker: (She, Marie and May look at a fashion magazine) "Anything?"

Marie Kanker: "Really?"

May Kanker: "Seriously?"

Benjamin: "That's what we said. We're gonna be stinkin' rich, girls."

Bobby: "That's right. Rich."

Rod: "And what's more important than that, huh?"

Edd's House

(Edd comes home, FTi truck passes by)

Edd: "Dad?"

Lennard: "That's my name. Don't wear it out.

(shark jaws fall down)

Edd: "Dad, I'm worried."

Lennard: "Oh, don't worry, Edward. We won't sell our house. We're behind you all the way. Right, Carla?"

Carla: (in cheerleader outfit) "Home team, home team, woo!"

Edd: "But what if Scheck gets everyone else to sell?"

Lennard: "Then I guess they'll bulldoze down the neighborhood, Edward. Carla and I will have to move to an old folks' home and who knows what'll happen to you. You'll probably be sent to a foster home in some Midwestern state like Manitoba or... wait, no, that's not a state, that's a province. Oh, no, Edward! You'll be a Canadian!"

Edd: "Dad, I'm serious."

Lennard: "I know, Edward, but we're not cooked yet. Whatever happens, we'll all be OK, even if we have to become Canadians. You know, they: have very good bacon there. Canadian. Bacon. This thing on? Come on, Edward. Work with me."

Edd: "Goodnight, Dad. Goodnight, Mom."

Carla: "Go, team!"

(Lennard sits on the shark jaws.)

In Front of Edd's House

(The next morning. FTi helicopters and a group of workers install huge Scheckvision TV screen on a roof. A crowd is watching at it.)

Crowd: "Awesome!"

A worker: "Release."

(The workers unroll a huge sheet with "SCHECKVISION MALL-PLEX — INFORMATION HEADQUARTERS" written on it, and hang it below the screen.)

Edd: "What's going on?"

Kevin: "You must be a sound sleeper, Double D. They've been hammering on it all mornin'."

Jimmy: "Look!"

(On the Scheckvision screen it's written "30 DAYS UNTIL CONSTRUCTION BEGINS")

Rolf: "Willikers!"

Jonny: "It's so wicked awesome."

Edd: "You guys! It's not awesome. It's terrible! Read it. We've got thirty days left to save the neighborhood."

Rolf: "Look, it's that Scheck feller."

Scheck (on the Scheckivision screen): "It's time for a new world. Out with the old, in with the new. I have seen the future and it's Future Tech Industries."

Rolf: "He sure gives Rolf the willies."

Eddy: "But you gotta admit, he looks good in a suit."

Edd: (annoyed) "Eddy!"

Eddy: "I know, I know. I'm just saying."

Edd: "Come on!"

(The Eds and the kids run away)

Multishot Sequence

(The Eds, and other citizens of the neighborhood are trying to organize protests against tearing down the neighborhood. The Kankers are not sympathetic to them. The days on the Scheckvision screen are cointing down.)

Animalman: (after receiving a leaflet from Edd) "Animalman!"

Under the Scheckvision Screen

(The Scheckvision screen shows: "6 DAYS UNTIL CONSTRUCTION BEGINS")

Ice Cream Man: "Yeah, six days to go, and then sayonara, suckers!"

Edd: "Six days. Enough time to try maybe one last big... thing. But... but what?"

Nazz: "How about a party? You always throw the most outré parties, Double D."

Edd: "Yeah, a party. A block party. With music and food."

Nazz: "And finger sandwiches. Ooh!"

Ed: "Yeah, and food!"

Edd: "We'll have a concert! The music will be so loud that we'd end up on the news. And then people will get excited about it, and the mayor will have to change her mind. And she'll stop the bulldozers."

Ed, Eddy and the kids: "Yeah!"

Rolf: "What do we call it?"

Nazz: "How about the "Save the Neighborhood Debutante Ball"."

Kevin, Rolf and Jonny: "Nah..."

Eddy: "Block Power, baby."

Rolf: "Blockenanny."

Jonny: "Block Till You Drop. (Falls down) Ow."

Eddy: "It's a Block Thing. I would know."

Ed: "A Block Party... Party?"

Edd: "How about... Blockapalooza?"

Ed, Eddy and the kids: "Yeah!"