Ed or Dare

Right now it is 2 A.M. Everyone is still asleep. Today was the big day. The first premire of Truth or Ed. Edfan765 laid in bed. He dreamt peacfully until...

Ed: HI ME FAN!!!

Edfan765: *Jumps into the air and knocks self into the ceiling, and falls back down* ED YOU IDIOT! IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!

Ed: But I'm sooooooo excited for Truth or Ed! We have to prepare ya know!

Edfan765: But we don't start the show until-

Ed: SILENECE! Now tell me, when do we start the show?

Edfan765: At exactly 5-

Ed: GOT IT! *dashes out of the room*

Edfan765: P.M...

(3 hours, a weird explaination and an additional 12 hours later)

'''Edfan765 is seen on the stage with his co-hosts, Tyler and Anthon. The Cul-de-sac kids are behind the curtain waiting for the show to start'''

Edfan765: Welcome to...

Tyler and Anthon: TRUTH OR ED!!!


 * The kids walk out from stage left to stage right, taking their seats*

Edfan765: Now let's get started with this show, dammit!

From Aquadragonsayian

YEE!

'Kevin: Lick Ed's armpit... If someone else made that dare, then suck jelly out of Ed's bellybutton'

Jimmy: Chew your own -or Ed's- toe nail, slow-ly

Sarah: Drink the juice made from a skunk

'That's it from me. X3 Revenge!'

Tyler: I coulda sworn I've seen all that before...

Edfan765: Me too...

FLASHBACK

Edfan765, Anthon and Tyler are all watching TDI.

Gwen is spinning the bottle in the episode "I Triple Dog Dare you"

Chris: Okay, Let's get this party started!

*the bottle lands on Duncan*

Chris: Duncan's dare: Lick Owen's armpit!

(LATER)

''Chris: Ezekiel's dare is... Chew your own toe nail. Slow...ly...''

(More Later)

''Heather: My turn! And I'm taking the dare! I don't care what it is!''

''*The bottle lands on Tyler. HIDDEN SCENE*''

Chef is seen filling up Owen's bellybutton with Jelly

Owen: Twice in a row's gotta hurt.

*Different episode*

*music is playing*

*Chef is serving some Skunk Juice*

End Flashback

Tyler: I guess we will never know. Anyways, Kevin, lick Ed's armpit or else you will say hello to Mr. Bang Bang!

Kevin: Wh-who's Mr. Bang Bang?

Anthon: *holds up a very large nuclear cannon* MWAHAHAHA!!!

Kevin: Licking Ed's armpit is suicide! Just smelling it can kill you!

Edfan765: *with a gas mask, making Ed take off his jacket* Well, if you do it we will give you life support so GO!

Kevin approaches Ed.

Ed: Kevin's gonna lick my armpit?! AHH!!!

Kevin: Shut up dork! I don't like this either. *sticks out tougne, and approaches Ed's armpit slowly. The tip finally touches Ed's armpit.* Hey, I did- *dies*

Edfan765: Well here goes my first revival.

Double D: You know magic?

Edfan765: All Truth or Dare authors need it. *Staff starts glowing yellow as well as body. The tip of the staff launches out into Kevin as he arrise again*

Kevin: What the hell happened...?

Ed: You licked my armpit!

Kevin: GAHH! *faints*

Edfan765: Look's like he'll be out for a while. Anyways, Jimmy! It's your turn!

Jimmy: No!! My fingernail were already peeled off so many times! I don't want my toe nail having the same fate!

Tyler: *with a chain saw* OH WELL! *He takes off Jimmy's shoe and sock and uses his chainsaw to saw off a tiny piece of the toenail.* You're lucky I didn't saw off your entire foot!

Before Jimmy could scream, the toe nail is shoved into his mouth.

Edfan765: Chew it SLOW-LY or else we'll have to do it again!

Jimmy: *chews on the toe nail, but somehow ends up breaking all of his teeth*

Eddy: Paging Doctor D.

Double D arrives in a doctor's uniform with Ed behind him. The two carry away the KOed Kevin and a crying Jimmy.

Edfan765: Sarah,

Sarah: I'm gonna kill aquadragon... What ever the heck he is!

Before she can leave to destroy the reviewer, Anthon shoves the entire cup of Skunk Punch into her mouth. Including the cup. Sarah falls over, gaging.

Nazz: Paging Doctor D once more.

Doctor D (Double D) comes in again to take Sarah away.

Edfan765: Next Dares!

From Ultraman Nexus

Nazz: Kick Kevin in the nuts.

Rolf: Watch someone else eat meat in front of him.

Eddy: Burn a billion dollars in front of him.

Edd: Hit Johhny with Plank and recite poetry to Marie.

Nazz: Why would I want to do that?

Edfan765: 'cause no one likes him.

Nazz: What do you mean by that?

Jonny: Plank says he's a jock

Tyler: He likes beating the Eds and Jonny up.

The Eds: And he calls us dorks!

Nazz: Now that you guys mentioned it... *Leaves to go to the infirmary*

Edfan765: 3... 2... 1...

Kevin: OOOOOOOWWW!!!!

Nazz: That's for all that you have done! We're through! *walks back into the stage* Was I yelling too loud?

All: Yes.

Edfan765: And technically Rolf already did that in the episode "All Eds are Off"

Eddy: That was a good sausage though.

Double D: *comes back from the infirmary* So what gravy did you get in that episode, Ed?

Ed: It was hard to choose. So I went with the rare Swedish Mexican Gravy, made from Halbereno pepper and creamy gravy goodness to give it a spicy zing!

Eddy: *reading his dare* WHAT!?!

Edfan765: *evilly smiling* You heard 'em! *Gets a huge pile of cash. HUGE... and out of $100 bills* Time to burn! *Staff glows red as his eyes turn devilish, The staff conjures magic until it launches a small red blast from the tip to the cash.*

The money is blown to bits. One surviving dollar lands into Edfan765's hands.

Eddy: *crying like a little baby*

Double D: *looks at his dares* Jonny?

Jonny: Yeah?

Double D: May I see Plank for a moment?

Jonny: No way! He was my best friend first!

Double D: Well I can't do it.

Tyler: Allow me. *he stands still for a moment. He suddenly take's Anthon's cannon and aims it at Jonny's bald head* Give me the board... OR FRY!

Jonny: *reluctantly gives Plank to Double D*

Tyler: *gives the cannon back to Anthon, who runs into the infirmary to go blow up Kevin.*

Double D: Thank you Jonny. *hits him in the face with Plank* I apogize!

Edfan765: You're not done yet! *shows him the part about reciting poetry to Marie*

Double D: NO NO NO!

Eddy: wait... Marie isn't even here.

Edfan765: And presenting, the Cul-de-sac's most deadly trio, the three witches, the Ed-boys' girlfriends

The Eds: Hey!

Edfan765: THE KANKER SISTERS!!

All three Kankers show up from a cloud of pink smoke.

Kankers: Hiyah boys...

Ed: AHH!! *hides behind Anthon, who oddlyis still holding his cannon with smoke coming out of one end.*

Marie: You said you needed me for something?

Edfan765: Yeah. Double D would like to say something to you.

Double D: *Thinking* Oh dear, Oh dear! What should I say, what should I do? *suddenly bursting out* Oh Marie how I fear thy!


 * One very very VERY horrible poetry recital later*

Double D: Marie Marie, how I fear thy!

Everyone is seen hiding, except Marie.

Edfan765: *wearing earmuffs* Well good poem, good poem. Okay to tell you the truth, that sucked.

Marie: I think it was beautiful. *puts on lipstick* Lock lips, oven mit!

Double D: OH PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!


 * You should know what happens by now*

Edfan765: HAHA! Look at Double D! He's covered in lip stick!

Tyler: I'm so glad I don't have a girlfriend like that *shivers*

Eddy: Well, sockhead! Looks like your today's Romeo!

Edfan765: *stops laughing and clears throat* Let's get on with the show.

From Kat and Nini

'This is cool! I actually started a Truth or Dare RP/game in my EEnE forum before finding this. I'm gonna enjoy this. :D'

Truths:

'Eddy: Let's say you won a million dollars (from a contest, lottery, whatever). Would you share it with anyone else? If yes, than with who and why?'

Jimmy: Why do you likes dolls so much?

Dares:

Jonny: Toss Plank away and do not go after him until you are picked again.

'Rolf: Allow Ed to hold onto two of your chickens for an hour. (I know, not much of a dare. At least Ed will be happy. :D)'

Edfan765: I think I saw you on the forum once. Just not that RP forum. Anyways, Eddy?

Eddy: I'll never share it!

Double D and Ed: *glares at Eddy*

Eddy: I mean I'll share it with my best buddies, Ed and Double D because they are my best friends ever... hehe...

Edfan765: *yawns* okay, next up. Jimmy, why do you like dolls?


 * cricket*

Edfan765: Oh yeah, Jimmy's in the infirmary. Anthon, go get him over here.

Anthon: Okay. *grabs his cannon and runs off*

Edfan765: We'll be back after a short commercial break.

This a commercial, advertising For a fanfiction that doesn't exist=P

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This is...

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INSANITY!

''Link: Gee... It sure is BLARGH!!! around here...''

King: MUH BOI!!!

DRAMA!

Mario: It's from DICKIE!

NOT MUCH ROMANCE

Luigi: I hope she made lotsa SPAGHETTI!!

''The Fanfiction of WTFness. DO NOT READ IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE!!''

 Back on air 

Anthon is seen, carrying a dead Jimmy on his back.

Anthon: Sorry boss. He didn't want to go.

Edfan765: It's alright. *revives Jimmy* So Jimmy... Why do you like dollies?

Jimmy: I'm not telling.

Edfan765: Fine. But let me show you something. *presses a button on his watch*

A wall opens like a door, revealing a dark spooky dungeon, with doll heads in cauldrons, dolls being used as archery targets, dolls being hung by crosses and chains, and doll stuffing everywhere.

Jimmy: AHH!!!

Edfan765: TELL US OR ELSE THE DOLLS WILL SUFFER MORE! *rips a doll's head off*

Jimmy: Fine I'll tell you!


 * Deleted scene*

Everyone is seen in a fetal position.

Tyler: I've... been... scared... for... life...

Anthon: I'm... so... g-glad I turned off t-the camera.

Jonny, however is not in a fetal position.

Jonny: I'm sorry buddy! *starts crying as he throws plank far away* WAH!!!

Rolf: Here you go, no chin-Ed Boy. Gertrude, be courteous to the strange no-brain Ed-boy. Swoggart, you too!

Ed: *gets out of fetal position and hugs Gertrude and Swoggart* I LOVE CHICKENS!

From EasyMac120

Hmm, I got a few:

'Truths: 1)Eddy- Why do you hate birds so much? 2)Nazz- What do you think of each boy?'

'Dares: 1)Ed- May will give you a chicken, if you KISS her! (If this doesn't work, have May dress like a chicken and dance for Ed in a later chapter. I'm sure that'll work, and both will be happy! You can even bring them together if you're an Ed/May fan like I am) 2)Jimmy- lift 50 pounds!'

I have more truths and dares, but I'll save those for later reviews.

Edfan765: Why, yes I am an Ed/May fan EasyMac. Uhh... you audience do know who EasyMac is right?

Tyler: Eddy?

Eddy: I hate them because one time they swooped down and pecked on my head! Another time a scam worked and another bird came and grabbed my quarters! And the latest thing that happened, is that on my way to the studio, a bird crapped on my head!

Tyler: Bummer... Nazz?

Nazz: Well Kevin is a jerk, specially after that *Insert Ed Edd n Eddy Big picture show spoiler here*. Rolf is a weird foreign villager. Eddy is just a creepy scammer and Ed is a human vaccum cleaner. Plus Jonny is a bald nature boy. And Plank kinda creeps me out ("WOOD HATER!"). Jimmy is JUST a friend. Besides, if there really was any relationship, it would be with Sarah.

Jimmy: I'm right here you know!

Edfan765: What about Double D?

Nazz paused for a moment.

Nazz: Well, he may be a human textbook, but he is kinda cute...

Double D started to "melt" like he did in the series.

Ed: Double D melted again! Now what?

Edfan765: This is what happens when you force a chick to reveal her feelings! Please don't do it again! *revives Double D*

Nazz: Hey Tyler...

Tyler: Oh no no no! I'm not supposed to be in a relationship with you! Edfan765 really doesn't approve of me dating on air!

Nazz: I was just about to ask you why your boss is carrying a stick.

Edfan765: That's simple. When I went to Authoring school, I choose Truth or Dare as my subject. They taught me sorcery incase of emergency, because things do get hectic in T/D fictions *points at Kevin, who is still clutching onto the part where Nazz had kicked him* This staff helps me transphere my abilities. Although most people do have a sword. *Pulls out a poster of PitFTW, MahTah, and golfer* I'm just starting out, so I only have a few spells and use a staff. Continuing on!

May: Oh Big Ed! Want this chicken here? *pulls out a chicken who is more cuter than the others

Ed: OH DO I!

Tyler: Nuh Uh uh! You have to kiss May first.

Ed: *tries thinking on how he can avoid this but still getting the chicken at the same time.*

30 minutes later.

Ed: I GOT IT! *walks up to May and kisses her shoe*

Edfan765: Damn... loophole!

Anthon: *holding up a camera* And I wanted to get a picture of that *he is seen wearing a Ed+May shirt*

May: *Lovingly gives the chicken to Ed* I will never wash that shoe again...

Edfan765: And for the big ending... JIMMY WILL LIFT 50 POUNDS!! *Tyler whispers something in Edfan765's ear* Jimmy already lifted 50 pounds?

Tyler: *more whispering*

Edfan765: He did it in the episode "Look into my Eds?"

Tyler: *Even more whispering*

Edfan765: He lifted Eddy who was 60 pounds?

Tyler: *Even more more whispering*

Edfan765: And I should stop repeating everything you say?

Tyler: *Nods*

Edfan765: Well that was only 60! Jimmy needs to do 50! Besides, he was cheating! *presses button on watch*

Jimmy: SAY-WHAT!? *A 50 pound weight squishes Jimmy*

Edfan765: Well, I think that's it!

Anthon: It is! Did you see how that weight totally owned Jimmy? I took a picture!

Tyler: Very nice... Anyways, You can dare the Eds and the kids too! Remember, you can dare me, Anthon and the author here too! Yes, even the Kankers as well.

 WARNING: SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT 

'Every 5 chapters, starting with chapter 5, there will be a guest star. This guest star will not be from the EEnE universe. I will choose 5 other worldly characters at random! You choose on a poll! Remember, we need at least 3 voters! There can be doubles or triple guest stars! The Poll will be up soon on my profile!'

Edfan765: Now that that's out of my system, See ya later!

Anthon: WAIT! We haven't introduced the last segment!

Edfan765: Oh yeah! *slaps forehead* At the End of each chapter we will play a little "game" involving three of our cast. They will be playing on a game show, where they will be asked questions based on their adventures! You may send in up to 2 questions through a review or PM along with dares! So let's start this one, just to show you!

Tyler: *with a bunch of small papers in a hat* Today's special players will be... EDDY... SARAH... AND ROLF!

The curtains cover the whole stage up. It opens up to look like a jeapordy game-show. Eddy, Sarah and Rolf are sitting in the right side, while the co-hosts and Edfan765 are siting on the left side.

Tyler: Okay! First question for Eddy... Who is the only person besides Ed to have a uni-brow?

Eddy: *looks around* Uhh... uh... umm...

Anthon: TIMES UP! *pulls a lever, that launches Eddy's chair like a spring, sending him flying out screaming* By the way, the answer was Rolf. Question 2 for Sarah... What color is Ed's room?

Sarah: Do you think I'm stupid? It's purple!

Edfan765: CORRECT! *gives Sarah a conseltation prize, of a bag of microwave popcorn* Rolf, what is odd about the Creek?

Rolf: Sheshmufufalla bullock slaughta!

Edfan765: What?

Rolf: I know nothing of this sort! Good-bye! *Gets out of his chair and walks away*

Edfan765: Well the answer was that lobsters lived in the creek. Anyways, Sarah wins the grand prize! *gives Sarah a "beat up anyone without going to jail" card*

Sarah: I know just who to use this on... *eyes Eddy*

Eddy: OH MAN! SOMEONE CALL THE COPS! *gets chased by Sarah*

Edfan765: *looks at watch* Where the hell are the others?

Ed: Double D mentioned something about cookie dough!

All: *stare at Ed*

Tyler: I installed video cameras all over the building. We will be able to watch whatever anyone is doing!

Edfan765: How many did you install?

Anthon: We installed about 32. We kinda lost track.

Edfan765: Well let's get started! Check Kevin's room first!

Tyler presses a button on his remote. A big flat-screen TV is gently lowered into the studio. It turns on, revealing Kevin in his bed sobbing.

Kevin: *sob* W-why did SHE have to dump me?! Why does that dork have all the girls?! It's not fair!! WAHH!!!

The video goes into static and the kids are laughing hysterically.

Jonny: That was pure gold!

Ed: Haha! It reminds reminds me of Baconator 5: Martains VS Lego people!

Tyler: *stops laughing* Let's check out the Eds room (yes, they share the same room)

Edfan765: May I?

Tyler: *gives him the remote* knock yourself out.

Edfan765: *presses a button*


 * Eddy is seen in the bed alone, reading a pink magazine with an attractive woman on the front cover. The title read "Sexy Per-" uhh... nevermind that last part*

Tyler: AHH!!! MY EYES ARE BURNING! CHANGE THE CHANNEL!!

Edfan765: *frantically pushes buttons, but it makes the camera zoom in close enough to see the disturbing material in the magazine* EEEEAAAAAALLLLLLPPPPP!!!

Jonny and Ed: AHH!! *Run out of the studio and into Wal-mart to get some "Forget-a-cine"*

Tyler: Gimmie that! *snatches the remote* That's the last time I let you use this! *presses a button and the TV goes to a hallway, where Double D and Nazz are seen, blushing as they talked.*

Anthon: *in disbelief* Are they...?

Tyler: *also in disbelief* yup...

Edfan765: *jaw is dropped all the way to the floor like a cartoon* Double D and Nazz...

Double D and Nazz nodded and parted ways.

Tyler: OH CRAP! I FORGOT TO TURN THE VOLUME ON!

Edfan765: I must have do it by accident while zooming in!

All three: NOOO!!!

Edfan765: *sniff* Well it's time for the show. *picks up a microphone* '''HEY ALL YOU HEARTBROKEN IDIOTS! IT'S TIME FOR ED OR DARE! SO GET YOUR LAZY PERVERTED BUTTS OVER HERE!''' That is all

Tyler and Anthon: O_O (I can't believe I've been created by this guy...)

3 minutes later

Edfan765: Hi there! I'm Edfan765

Tyler: *rides in on a skate board* I'm Tyler!

Anthon: *Rides in on a scooter, but ends up falling and breaking his arm* And I am his unlucky co-host, Anthon! Can I have my luck back now?

Edfan765: Fine. *A green aura comes out of the staff and in a green bright spark, Anthon's luck is back* On with our dares!

From Kat and Nini

'What a great start! I have more dares for the vict-I mean kids... :D'

Ed- Dress up in a pink ballerina outfit and show everyone your dance moves!

'Double D- Pick any girl at random and kiss her on the lips. (Sorry, pal. No loopholes... I think)'

Jonny- Okay, you can get Plank back...but now you have to let someone else hold him for two whole hours!

'I'll save the Kanker torture for another time. Hehehe...'

Edfan765: Thanks for the compliment. I'm glad I have some inspiration here. Unlike someone else I know. *glares at Eddy, Kevin, Jimmy, and for no reason Chuck Norris*

Ed: Oh boy! Where's my outfit?

Tyler: *holds up a pink ballerina set, complete with tutu, gloves, top and tiara* knock yourself out.

Ed: *grabs the set, spins around so fast no one can see him change and is in his ballerina outfit* Luckily for me, I am the Dance Dance Revolution champion of the world! Watch!

Tyler: Okay, I'll play against you! Get Dance Dance Revolution ready!

Anthon: *nods and points at a Dance Dance Revolution arcade game in the studio*

Tyler: Both of us on expert! Hardest song. No pauses!

Edfan765: He's gonna get creamed.


 * One total epic dance ownage later*

Tyler: not fair...

Edfan765: HA! IN YOUR FACE KEVIN!! 2 bucks, right now!

Kevin: (mumbling) Damn you.

Anthon: Okay, Double D, who are you gonna choose?

Double D: uh... ah... umm... *Notices that Sarah, Nazz, and the Kankers are staring at him.* Wait! It said at random! It also said any girl! So, I shall put the names of all females in this universe into this machine, and it will randomly generate one of the females' names onto a piece of paper.

Sarah, Nazz and the Kankers: *grumbles of disapointment*

A name is generated out of the machine.

Double D: and the lucky winner is... Oh my!

Tyler: What is the name?

Double D: It's a mishap! Let's try again!

Eddy: *swipes the paper* HAHAHA!! He has to kiss Kat!

Edfan765: Are you serious? Well in that case... *gets a cannon out and shoves Double D in there* The destination is... Kat and Nini's profile! *pulls a string that shoots Double D into the sky.*

Jonny: *reads first part of the dare* YES!! Plank! *slow motion running to Plank smiling*

Tyler: *record scratch* You have to let someone else hold onto him for 2 hours.

Jonny: *stops running* oh... In that case I choose you.

Tyler: What ever. We have firewood!

Jonny: NO!!!

Tyler: fine... geez.

From Ultraman Nexus

'Hahahahahahah! Man this was really funny, I think I'll give dare's every chapter. Okay, here's some more...'

Kevin: Must eat dog food.

Eddy: Gets a billion again, but he gives half of it to charity and the other half to Kevin who is forced, I mean FORCED to eat it.

'Edd: Either learn and preform Naruto's sexy no justsu or use the Thousand Years of Death Attack on Marie. Edd can choose to do the above or be transformed into a Pikachu along with Marie and placed into a daycare with her.'

Edfan765: Thank you for that comment.

Tyler: Okay Dork! Eat the dog food.

Eddy and Ed: Why me?

Tyler: No, not you guys. *Points at Kevin* him!

Kevin: WHAT?!?! I'm gonna run over Ultraman Nexus with my bike later! *eats a plate of dog food* *gaging* I'm... gonna... kill him... *gag gag, cough*

Tyler: He said "I hate you all, go burn in Hell."

Edfan765: Paging Doctor D.


 * Silence*

Ed: We catapulted him to be kissed to death by Kat, remember? So let's get...

Anthon: No... Anyone but him!

Ed: Doctor...

Tyler: Oh no!!

Ed: PHIL!!!


 * everyone gasps*


 * Doctor Phil comes in riding a motorcycle and takes Kevin away. He pauses for a moment.*

Dr. Phil: I say, are you Miss Sarah? I believe you are in a relationship with both Mr. Jimmy and a "Eddward." We need to discuss this immidiatly. *grabs Sarah by her leg*

Sarah: HELP ME GUYS!!


 * Criket*

Sarah: YOU ALL SUCK!! *gets taken away with Kevin as well*

Eddy: Yes! Now she will stop bothering us while we are scamming!

Tyler: See this billion dollars Eddy? *gives half of it to his favorite charity: himself*

Eddy: NOO!!!!

Anthon: And... *Takes the rest of the cash and goes to Dr. Phil and shoves it down Kevin's throat. He comes back* I SHOVED THE REST OF THE MONEY IN KEVIN'S THROAT!!

Eddy: *already fainted because of cash coma*


 * Double D crashes through the ceiling covered in lip stick.*

Double D: I think there was another dare for me...

Tyler: *holding back laughter* yeah. You either parody off Naruto, or become a Pika, because I have no idea what a "Thousand Year of Death" is.

Edfan765: *in a demonic tone* YOU SAID NARUTO!! HE MUST DIE!! DOWN WITH CRAPPY NINJA!!

Tyler: Anthon! He's in his "I hate Naruto" state again! Quick, let's use Defense plan P!

Anthon: P? Okay! *goes to the bathroom*

Tyler: *gets a chair and thick rope and ties Edfan765 to the chair* Now you are staying in that chair until you calm down

Edfan765: NEVA!! NARUTO BRING GREAT SHAME TO NINJA! AT LEAST MAKE ME SUMMON FANGIRLS TO DESTROY HIM!!

Tyler: You may send Fangirls, but nothing else. *unties rope*

Edfan765: *in normal voice* thank you. *staff is glowing orange as a Fangirl voice is heard and an army of Fangirls appear* Go and touch Naruto.

Fangirls: *runs off*

Edfan765: Mwahahahahahha...

IN THE NINJA WORLD

Naruto is meditating (HOLY CRAP!)

Naruto: HUH?! *notices mob of fangirls* AHH!!!

Back in the EEnE universe

Double D is seen training with Bio Spark, Kirby's ninja master.

Edfan765: This can take a while, so lets go to the next dare.

From Dnny By

i got some

Truths:

Jimmy: who do you like second best if sarah was the first Rolf: which country are you originally from? sarah: do you have a crush on Double D or Jimmy (i'd say Jimmy)

Dares:

Ed: eat a million pounds of chocolate and don't complain that your tummy's full Nazz: kick kevin in the Balls (again) That, or pull out eddy's three hairs Eddy: do an Eddy Izzard impersonation

Jimmy: I guess number 2 would be Nazz, because she doesn't bother and make fun of me.

Edfan765: THAT WAS A BORING RESPONSE! YOU FAIL! By the way, Rolf is most likely from Norwegia, as he remembers Gerta, who is Norwegian. This was noted in the episode "No Speak Da Ed"

Rolf: Yes, it is true.

Edfan765: Anyways, loud mouth isn't here, but I would say that she likes Jimmy as a friend but Double D as a boyfriend.

Jimmy: I'm right here you know!

Edfan765: Ed, eat lots of chocolate right now!

Ed: OH GOODY! *eats some chocolate normally like a candy bar. He then is starting to stuff whole bars into his mouth. Soon he is swallowing huge gulps of it. He is now acting as if he was in a pac-man game, and the dots were chocolate.* Ah... stuffed. *He is very fat and ate so much chocolate he is now completely brown

Tyler: But he still needs one more ounce! *holds up a small chocolate bar*

Ed: That's easy! Gimmie, I can't reach it.

Tyler: *shoves it in Ed's mouth*

Ed: *Explodes from eating too much*

Edfan765: *notices its raining chocolate* So what do you know? He can be full. *revives Ed*

Ed: That was some good chocolate!

Nazz: I think I'll do both! *pulls out Eddy's three hairs*

Eddy: *Not hurt at all* Lumpy does that to be all the time. I'm immune now!

Nazz: Whatever. I'm going to kick Kevin in the nuts now! *leaves in a taxi to go to Dr. Phil's office*

Edfan765: I have no idea what an Izzard is, so let's skip that. Sorry Dnny By.

Double D: I'm ready. *he is in a ninja outfit with complete swords and bandana* SEXY NO JUSTSU! *disappears*

Edfan765: Where did he go?

Bio Spark: I was supposed to teach that jitsu? oops. I tought him the wrong move.

Jonny: So where is he now?

On top of the empire state building...

Double D: *his hat is punctured by the tip and is stuck, along with him* Help?

BACK IN THE STUDIO

Edfan765: I guess we will never know. Next dares!

Hehehe...

Dares #1: Ed: Burn ALL your comics! Edd: Eat the sandwich under Ed's bed! Eddy: Give money to Kevin!

Dares #2: Kevin: Eat your bike! Nazz: Shave off your hair! Rolf: Give you Hairy Chest of Resilience badge to Eddy!

Dare #3: Jimmy: Rip up your dolls and eat them! Sarah: Take a bath in a tub of Ed's smelly socks! Jonny: BURN Plank!

Tyler: Ed... You have to-

Ed: *Is burning his comics already* Someone replaced my comics with "My Little Pony" magazines!

Jonny: Double D isn't here right now. *Double D crashes through the ceiling again*

Double D: Ow... *sees dare* WHAT?! THAT IS JUST SUICIDE!

Tyler: *evil grin* A dare's a dare! *shoves a moldy fungi infested sandwich into Double D's mouth*

Double D: ... *Dead*

Edfan765: Let's get on with it *revives Double D*

Eddy: AGAIN?!?

Edfan765: Yes. Bring Kevin's bike too. He has to digest it.

Eddy: Really? Okay! *runs off*


 * Nazz comes back*

Nazz: Kevin was making a high-pitched squealing noise when I kicked him in his- *reads dare* Uhh... that already happened- *Insert Ed Edd n Eddy Big Picture Show Spoiler here*

Edfan765: Fine... But that is the second time you referenced the Movie. Rolf?

Rolf: Rolf cannot do this as no-neck Ed-boy has gone to force Shovel-chin Kevin to ingest his tractor!

Edfan765: Goodpoint.

Jimmy: NO!! I Already saw the dolls suffer! I can't do it again!

Anthon: *holding up Mr. Bang Bang* Jimmy... DO IT!

Jimmy: *attempts to rip a doll's head off, but breaks both arms* OWIE!

Anthon: That was embarrasing. *shoves doll in Jimmy's mouth*

Jimmy: *suffocates and dies*

Edfan765: Let's take a short commercial break as we wait for Kevin, Eddy, and Sarah to get back.

'I am planing to write this fanfiction. Everything in this one is true.'

In a world...

"Push it, push it!"

Of intense humor!

"No seriously, you all suck!"

"PUSH IT MAN!"

Smash Fortress

Starring...'''Kirby as Spy King DDD as Heavy Zelda as Medic Link as Sniper Bowser as Pyro Sonic as Scout Ness as Engineer Luigi as Demoman Samus as Soilder Marth as Stratigist Donkey Kong as Tank Olimar as Pilot Ganondorf as Titan'''

SMASH FORTRESS

Comming in September 29th, on 

'''Brought to you by Dickies incorporated. A DICKIE? THEY STILL MAKE THESE?!'''

'End Commercial. Everyone word except for the last line is true. I am going to upload Smash Fortress on September 29th. Look in Super Smash Bros to find it.'

Eddy is seen with a big grin on his face, dragging a dead Kevin and Sarah.

Edfan765: Why are you so happy?

Eddy: I had some money, so I forcefed it to Kevin. I had some leftover, not enough to buy a jawbreaker, so I choked Sarah with it!

Edfan765: *revives Kevin and Sarah* Good for you. Sarah, go take a bath in Ed's socks.

Ed: *shows her a tub filled with socks* I don't get why everyone is wearing gas masks though.

Sarah: AHH!! *Eddy pushes her in* YOU IDIOT! I'M GONNA KILL- AH! *drowns*

Tyler: HA! I knew Plank was going to be firewood!

Jonny: NOO!! PLANK!!

Tyler: *burns Plank to make a fire.* I always wanted to do that.

Edfan765: So here is the poll for the guest stars. Remember, this is until chapter 5.

Patrick: 2

Robin: 1

Luigi: 1

Izzy: 1

Samus: 0

Edfan765: And now for the game! Todays contestants are Ed, Nazz, and Kevin.


 * the studio changes to a gameshow like last time*

Edfan765: Because no one sent a question, I shall make up the questions again. Ed, who won the 4th annual spelling bee?

Ed: uhh... Double D!!

Edfan765: That is correct. You won the 8th annual spelling Bee. You win... five sticks of buttered french toast!

Ed: OH GOODY GOODY!

Edfan765: Nazz, what color is Ed's hair?

Nazz: Black?

Edfan765: WRONG!! *pushes a button that makes a skunk spray on her* The answer was orange!

Nazz: *Scream* I have to go take a shower NOW! *leaves very fast like*

Edfan765: Kevin, what was Eddy's first scam?

Kevin: Uhh...

Anthon: TIMES UP! *Shoots Mr. Bang Bang at Kevin*

Edfan765: And our winner is Ed!!! You win our deluxe breakfist making kit! *gives him a brand new toaster, a pack of bread, a gravy container, lots of butter, and a butter knife*

Ed: YAY! BUTTERED TOAST!

Edfan765: And that raps up day 2 of our show! Remember, send in questions, dares, truths, and vote on our poll on my profile page!

Tyler: Have a nice school week (cause Edfan765 won't)

Anthon: BYE GUYS! *shakes the camera*

Tyler: What’s up?

Anthon: I’m sad.

Tyler: Why?

Anthon: My fishie died

Edfan765: You forgot to feed it again.

'''Anthon: Yeah. Anyways, Edfan765 only owns me Tyler and Anthon, whoever that loser is. He must be a real dork. I mean a name like that is stupid (No offense to actual people who are named Anthon)'''

'''Tyler and Edfan765: *back away slowly* Read and Dare when you’re done. Remember, you can dare me, Tyler and Anthon too.'''

DISCLAIMER: Edfan765 is NOT expressing his feelings through the characters, authors or authoresses in this chapter

Edfan765: What are you doing here?

'''DISCLAIMER: No clue. Why do you write my name in all caps?'''

'''Edfan765:... Read and Dare!'''

Edfan765, Tyler, Eddy, Ed, and Rolf are at the kitchen. Edfan765 was eating some sunny-side up eggs and bacon. Tyler was doing the same. As for Eddy, he was eating an omelet he made (As said in the episode Who What Where, Ed). Rolf had a large amount of meat on his plate involving bacon, pork, sausages, turkey, chicken, steak, lamb chops, fried duck, and for some reason, an actual buffalo.

Edfan765: Dude, that’s a lot of meat there.

Rolf: No matter, Rolf requires large number of livestock byproducts to survive! *munches on some of his duck*

Ed: I love this new breakfast kit! *he is buttering up some rich brown toast with high quality gravy in a cup*

Edfan765: No problem. Anyways, I reread our reviews and found that some people are actually daring me!

Tyler: *spitting out orange juice at Rolf*

Rolf: THE NON SUCULANTNESS! IT BURNS! *dies*

Tyler: What?! How come you get dared! I’ve been bored ever since the first episode with no dares!

Edfan765: *sips the rest of his milk and revives Rolf* Well too bad. Have you seen Anthon lately?

At that moment, Anthon comes in.

Anthon: *in a depressed mood* I'm sad.

Tyler: Why?

Anthon: My fishie died.

Edfan765: You forgot to feed it again. (I copied the intro =P)

Anthon: I can’t help it! It’s so hard to remember that you have to feed the fish as well as yourself!

Tyler: (whispering to Edfan) I’m surprised he didn’t forget how to eat.

Edfan765: Well why don’t you get an automatic fish feeder?

Rolf: AND GIVE THE JAPANEESE CUISINE HARD EARNED GRAIN?! MOMMA!! *runs away*

Edfan765: I’ll get him. *leaves*

Anthon: Well that is a good idea! But I can’t afford one so I’m gonna build one!

Tyler: I hope your bad wood-working skills pay off. Good luck, dude. But I'm not getting you another fish.

Anthon: It's okay...

Tyler: *looks behind him* You already bought another fish!

Anthon: His name is Mr. Fishie!

LATER…

Edfan765: Welcome one and all! I am Edfan765!

Tyler: And I’m Tyler. Now Anthon won’t be joining us because he is trying to make a fish feeder, enthuses on “trying”

Edfan765: He’ll be back. Now it’s time for the dares!

From Ultraman Nexus

'Yay, jawbreakers! I'm sorry, I didn't know you didn't like Naruto. Okay now...'

Eddy: Claim to be gay in front of Lee and see what happens.

'Kevin: Unleash a army of rabbid squirrels, followed by crazy monkeys after him. He survives or is revived and then I come into the story and kick his butt to kingdom come! Oh and did I mention I can change my size to 162 feet and can fired a giant energy beam by crossing my wrists?'

'Rolf: Force him to eat the worst tasting vegetables ever. Like brussel sprouts.'

Sarah: Kiss dirt.

 Johnny: Kiss Plank' Edd: Somehow get Captain Falcon to teach you how to use his Falcon Punch. After that Pawnch Kevin or Eddy or Plank. Or all. After that, give him a lust potion to make him pervy towards Marie. He can do that or just kiss her, but she can't kiss him back.'

Edfan765: It’s okay. Don’t worry. I’m cool now. I’ll be right back, I’m going to see if Anthon failed yet. *leaves*

Tyler: Eddy, say your gay in front of Lee!

Eddy: WHAT!? Shoot, Ultraman Nexus must really hate us. *goes up to Lee* (mumbles) I’m gay…

Tyler: What was that?

Eddy: (normally) I’m gay.

Tyler: What?

Eddy: (louder) I’m gay!

Tyler: I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!

Eddy: I’M FREAKING GAY!!!

Edfan765: *comes back* HOLY CRAP! ANTI-YAOI BLAST, GO! *a pink aura surrounds the staff and a pink firebolt is launched at Eddy*

Eddy: oh sh- *OWN3D*

Edfan765: Well, take Eddy to the dungeon! *Tyler and Ed take Eddy away*

Tyler: UNLEASH THE RABID SQUIRRELS AND CRAZY MONKEYS APON THE DORK!!

The Eds: Oh (Gravy, Not good not good, CRAP!!)

Edfan765: Again, not you guys, Kevin.

Kevin: ARE YOU (censor)ING SERIOUS?!

Edfan765: Much to my pleasure, yes!

Kevin: Go to Hell *gets killed by the squirrels and monkeys*

Edfan765: Rolf, eat vegetables!

Rolf: *automatically dies from hearing the word*

Tyler: That was stupid.

Edfan765: *revives Rolf, shoves a piece of broccoli in his mouth, and Rolf dies again. Only to be revived*

Sarah: I HATE YOU! *kicks Jimmy and Double D while grumpily walking outside to lick the dirt*

Jimmy: What happened there?!

Edfan765: In the last episode, Dr. Phil took Sarah away and now she hates you and Double D and likes Jonny.

Jonny: It’s true *holds up a box of chocolates and flowers from Sarah* No Plank, I am not replacing you!

Plank: …

Jonny: I am not Romeo!

Plank: … (censor) … (censor) … (censor)

Jonny: … that was plain rude.

Plank: …

Jonny: FINE!

Plank: …

Jonny: Oh yeah the dare

Plank: *somehow, kisses Jonny*

Jonny: Are you happy? Wait a minute, that happens a lot in (Insert NOT a Big picture show spoiler here).

Edfan765: *opens portal* You go to the Smash Dimension Double D! And Bring me back a souvenir! *pushes Double D in* He’s gonna be gone a while.

From Kat and Nini

Kat: Ahh...I am a happy authoress...8D

'Nini: Ha, I guess so. Anyways, here are the next set of truths, dares, and questions!'

'Truths: Double D- So how did it feel to be kissed by a complete stranger? (Well, sort of...) Jonny- If you had any other person as a best friend besides Plank, who would it be and why?'

'Dares: Eddy- I bet you're feeling sick about losing all of that money, right? Okay! So now you shall lock yourself in a cage full of raging birds and stay in there until Edfan765 feels like letting you out. Kevin- Sing a happy song about how much you like the Eds...then shoot yourself afterwards, or have someone else do it for you. Kankers (all three of them)- Run through an obstacle course of operating chainsaws!'

'Questions: What is Ed's middle name? (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat!)'

'How many ants does Double D have in his ant farm? (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat!)'

'What is the name of Eddy's older brother? (You went over your 2 question limit. Unless Nini asked that question.)'

Double D: *falls from the sky* FALCON OUCH!

Edfan765: Oh great, now he’s C. Falcon Jr. Did you get me a souvenir?

Double D: *Hands him a Captain Falcon Trophey*FALCON PAWNCH!!! *Owns Kevin’s dead body to the extreme* YES!

Edfan765: SHUT UP!! *a white aura covers my body and staff. In a sudden flash, Double D forgets he got trained by C. Falcon.

Double D: What happened?

Ed: You were all like “FALCON PAWNCH!!!” and falcon punched Kevin’s dead body!

Edfan765: Well I think we should revive him *revives Kevin*

Ultraman Nexus: *appears from no-where* KEVIN HAS BEEN REVIVED! *grows 162 feet tall* Prepare to die… *Fires a giant energy beam from wrists.*

Kevin: *Gets a nice serving of Energy Beam to Face*

Ultraman Nexus: My job is done.

Edfan765: *shakes Ultraman Nexus’s hand* Pleasure to have you here. I’ll call you if I want Kevin dead.

Ultraman Nexus: Signing out! *disappears*

Tyler: What a nice guy he is! Double D, here’s a lust potion! *forces Double D to drink it*

Double D: I feel weird *turns into Tin-man and falls over, covered in a brown substance*

Tyler: Huh? *looks at potion label* SHOOT! I GAVE HIM THE RUST POTION!

Edfan765: *revives Double D* Here, drink this instead.

Double D: I have no choice or else I will have to introduce myself to Mr. Bang Bang *points at Mr. Bang Band sitting right next to Edfan765* Might as well get it over with. *drinks the lust potion* Hey Marie…

Marie: What, love muffin?

Double D: I love you…

Eddy: YES! I GOT THAT ON TAPE! I’ll blackmail him later…

Sarah: Ahh, who needs that cheating jerk? I have you… *winks at Jonny, who shivers in fear*

Double D: How about we play "Seven Minutes in Heaven?"

Tyler: I think thats pushing it a little...

Edfan765: We will be right back as we find an antidote for this before Double D decides to play with Marie in a broom closet.

What if Jigglypuff was evil and murderous?

PitFTW: *shows up with a sword* This…

MahTati: *does a frontflip onto the stage* is…

Golfer: *shoots Mr. Game and Watch and jumps onto the stage* Ask…

Pit: *comes in from a hellfire for no reason* Jiggly… *notices self on fire* OH PAULENTINA HELP ME!!

'ASK JIGGLY. A SUPER SMASH BROS FANFIC.'

“Awsomeness” – Some random hobo with a laptop.

“I laughed hard enough to throw up.”- A talking pie

“PUSH IT, PUSH IT!” –Scout from Team Fortress

“The Best Super Smash Bros T/D fic, ever” –ME!

'Ask Jiggly. Only on '

Double D: *in fetal position* I can’t believe I actually wanted to… I don’t want to talk about it…

Edfan765: Sorry Kat, Double D isn’t feeling well. We shall answer your question in a little while. Jonny, who is your best friend besides Plank?

Jonny: I don’t know really. I just go with the flow in fads. But I would say either Ed or Double D. Because Sarah likes me and it’s weird. (Plank: yet somewhat romantic) Kevin hurts me physically, Nazz hurts me emotionally, Rolf tried to eat me once, Jimmy hurts me mentally, and Eddy hurts me economically.

Plank: …

Jonny: I am not replacing you!

Plank: …

Jonny: FINE! You can have my cheesecake during dinner!

Eddy: *reads his dare* I HATE YOU BOTH!

Edfan765: *locks him in a cage filled with swallows, pigeons, ducks, ostriches, and for some reason a platypus.* I’ll beat him up later for you two.

Eddy: I HATE YOU, EDFAN! GO TO HELL!

Edfan765: Yeah I get that a lot (No seriously, O_o)

Kevin: … I’m going to kill you all when my contract expires…

For some reason, an entire band is composed, with Kevin as the lead singer, Anthon on drums, Tyler with the guitar, and Jonny with the bass.

NOTE: This song is based off the old EEnE song, “I’m not comin’ in” from the Cartoon Network Groovie “Incredible Shrinking Day.” DON’T SUE ME, CARTOONNETWORK!!

''Sun’s up, I hit the floor. Shoe’s tied I’m out the door. Is this a clean hat? I think it was one yesterday.''

''Free day, I’m on the phone. No plans, I got my cell on. Call the Eds up, Have a little fun with them today.''

''Spend a lot of time trying to befriend them, I am, one step ahead ‘em I am not a stranger, I really hate Elmo, So I must be Ed four!''

''Ed is always the funny one! Double D’s the smartest one, fangirls love to adore. Eddy’s the man the pla-an. These are my friends on the inside… I got no clue…''

''Go ahead say what you might, I know, I’ve been kicked in my be-hind This burden’s been forced upon me.''

''Eddy’s bro, used to torment me Now I know, he wants to kill me, This isn’t what I had in mind.''

''Spend a lot of time trying to befriend them, I am, one step ahead ‘em I am not a stranger, I really hate Elmo, So I must be Ed four!''

''Ed is always the funny one! Double D’s the smartest one, fangirls love to adore. Eddy’s the man the pla-an. These are my friends on the inside… I got no clue…''

''Nothing’s ever the same as when I start Playing at the right speed Kicking in the right spot (Eddy’s nuts) I like things familiar And I’m not the fourth Ed, NOT THE FOURTH ED!''

''Ed is always the funny one! Double D’s the smartest one, fangirls love to adore. Eddy is the man with the plan. These are my friends on the inside… I got no clue…''

No no… No clue…

Nuh uh… fangirls adore…

I hate… you… (Edfan765, Kat, Nini, Eds and Chuck!)

Edfan765, Kat, Nini, Ed, Double D, Chuck Norris: *all arming weapons of mass destruction*: DIE HATER!


 * insert Kevin’s REALLY gory bloody death… ew…*

Edfan765: *vomits into trashcan* I think you went a little too far with that roundhouse kick, Chuck.

Chuck: It’s how I do things. Well I have to go to performance. *leaves*

Double D: While you are here Kat… how do I say this…

Ed: DOUBLE D THINKS THE KISS WAS WEIRD!

Kat: How rude…

Nini: We have our own projects to attend to. We have to go now *She and Kat disappear*

Eddy: *still being mauled by the ostrich* I really wanted to kill Kevin too!

Edfan765: I didn’t say you can go yet! Now then… Oh yeah, I forgot! *Gets Mr. Band Band and shoots Kevin* That was fun. Next up, Kankers, go through a big chainsaw obstical course!

May: (Thinking) Wow… Kat and Nini must really be feeling evil today.

The Kankers go through the course, seemingly unscratched. Except for Lee, who had all of her hair shaved off and revealed that she had 3 eyes!

Edfan765: How did May and Marie survive?

Marie: SURVIVE?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I broke a nail…

May: I remained unscratched! *a tiny lock of blond hair falls on her hand* That happens all the time.

From Earthdude

Dares

'Nazz: Makeout with Eddy for three hours. Kevin: Challenge Rolf to a fight tothe death! The weapons are...us rubber chickens!'

Johnny: Eat Plank.

Sarah: Go jump off a (preferably one with spikes on tge bottom.)

Truths

Johnny: Where did you get plank?

Eddy: Why do you love money?

Nazz: No way in Hell!

Tyler: *threatingly holds up Mr. Bang Bang* I still have 3 nuclear shots left.

Edfan765: *finally releases Eddy*

Nazz: *gulps* Fine… but where no one can see us. *drags a smiling Eddy into a closet*

Tyler: *holds up remote* Shall we?

Edfan765: Be my guest.


 * three hours later*

Nazz: I can’t believe you would go so low to eavesdrop on me smooching Eddy for three hours straight!

Tyler: Uh… *sees Jimmy* It was the pussy’s idea! *runs*

Nazz: *Takes Mr. Bang Bang from Edfan765 (“HEY! THAT’S MINE!”) and owns Jimmy to the X-treme*

Kevin: What? That makes no sense!

Rolf: An man-made poultry? This is as terrifying as the one-eyed she-witch asked Rolf where new-borns come from! *Smacks Kevin in the head with a rubber chicken*

Ed: CHICKENS!! *is restrained by Tyler and Edfan765 after trying to touch the rubber chicken that Rolf was holding*

Tyler: You guys keep forgetting the facts! Jonny ate Plank in the episode “Eds or Tails.” But if you must… *shoves Plank in Jonny’s mouth, where they both suffocate and die*

Edfan765: *revives them both* Time to push Sarah off a cliff! *pushes Sarah off a cliff where she is heard saying “(censor) you all!” and then you can hear the sound of an unpleasant noise of blood spewing from a heart…* I have got to stop being so descriptive about bloody scenes when I’m NOT writing a horror fiction…

Tyler: Edfan765’s been on fanfiction all the time. And he has found many fictions explaining the creation of Plank. Now out of these choices, which one do you prefer?

'''1: Plank was once a naturalist. But he died and was reincarnated into Plank (Tfiction’s theory, as seen in “Ed Abuse”)'''

2: Plank was once Conrad's (the stump as seen in "Once Upon and Ed") friend, but chipped into Plank and given to Jonny (LeGroyn's theory, as seen in "Conrad the Lonely Stump")

'''3: Plank was a mystical being, known excessivly for his power to control minds. He took over Jonny's mind and made it LOOK like Jonny was using him all the time. But it was really Plank! (My theory that I just made up XD)'''

Eddy: As for your question about why I love money... OOHHH-

Edfan765: Oh God, don't be singing that money song in Spongebob! I hate that!

Eddy: Fine... Anyways, I love it because it gets me... JAWBREAKERS!! *starts drooling uncontrolably*

Tyler: *steps back slowly* Well actually, most people suffer from a common disease called "Greed." Most buisiness men have been known to have "Greed" and notably has a strange affection with money. Eddy is one of those infected. Watch, *tosses Eddy a quarter*

Eddy: *starts making out with the quarter*

Tyler: See? Well, while we are here, let's see how Anthon is doing! *gets his remote and presses a button and the TV shows Anthon with a fully functional mechanical machine feeding the fish*

Edfan765: I didn't think he would make it...

Rolf: HE HAS FED THE JAPANIESS UNMEATY YET SOMEWHAT MEATY MEAT SUBSTANCE!! ROLF MUST WARN NONA! *Runs away*

Edfan765: I'll get him again... *leaves*

Tyler: Anyways, next dares!

From aquadragonsayain

Me again!

'Kevin: NOW drink jelly from Ed's belly-button! If you don't, I'll own you Dragonball Z style!'

Jimmy: Make-out with May Kanker!

Sarah: Dive into a pit of flames, then if you survive (or revived) dance like a monkey until Eddy says so.

Edfan765: If you saw 'Mulan', sing 'Make a man out of you' in your own version.

Ed: Go sugar high and case havoc in the worlds the author decides on you to go.

'That's it I guess, I'm not feeling REALLY evil today. Oh, and P.S... I'M A GIRL!'

Tyler: Edfan765 would be glad that you are getting original. Anyways, KEVIN!! Eat jelly from Ed's bellybutton!

Ed: Sorry. I only have yogurt right now. And Sarah used all the jelly to make peanut and jelly sandwiches for a picinic with Jonny!

Jonny: Aww man...

Kevin: I HATE YOU ALL!!

Ed: *being layed down without any of his 3 shirts on* Wow Kevin, are you gonna do something weird again?

Kevin: Shut up... AGAIN! *sucks one drop but dies it even goes down his stomach*

Tyler: *holding a camera* OWNED!! On HD too!

Edfan765: *returning with a very skinny Rolf and he has a yellow ooze all over him* Long story... *revives him* So aqua, he didn't really drink anything as the drop did not go into his stomach. DBZ OWNAGE TIME!

Tyler: I thought you said "anime doesn't catch my interest."

Edfan765: It doesn't. But fighting is awsome! *revives Kevin* AND ATTACK!

Aqua appears. She kicks Kevin in the nuts and grabs his arm and throws him into a brick wall. She dashes up to throw a ton of punches before launching him into the air. She jumps up and kicks and punches Kevin, who is pathetically trying to defend himself. She eventually stops and holds her foot high in the air and, with a lightning surge going into her foot, she slams Kevin back into the cold Earth where he leaves a big crater.

Edfan765: *throws a purple ball that appears to have a black inside moving* Finish him off!

Aqua grabbed the power-up. She starts glowing purple and now has a black aura. She generates a hammer completly out of the darkness. She proceeds to smack Kevin with the mallet and Kevin suddenly gets a hammer upper cut. He flies into the air and Aqua throws many dark knifes at Kevin, who is stabbed by all of them. Well, they kinda vanish when they touch him, but he feels imense pain from the knifes anyway. He falls to the ground where Aqua dashes up to him and...

KER-PLOW!

Kevin: *flying away* Kevin's blasting off again!! *twinkle*

Aqua: That was fun! I think I'll go kill someone else now!

Edfan765: Like who?

Aqua: Kevins from other universes. *teleports away*

Jimmy: *reading dare* ... *faint*

Tyler: *with a camera again* OWNED!! Again...

Jimmy: I don't wanna kiss a Kanker!!

May: I don't wanna kiss a wuss!

Edfan765: Fine... May can kiss Ed and Jimmy will be strapped to a chair over a pit of boiling lava. Deal?

May, Tyler, Jimmy haters all over the world, and May + Ed couple supporters all over the world: YES! YES! YEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!

Jimmy: *crying like a baby* No!

Ed: (not paying attention) What?

Edfan765: Okay then... Now let's skip this scene for something more meaningful... like a random yet funny commercial break!

' NOTE: I do commercials on fanfictions I like. I will not take requests and only do the commercials I want. SIMPLE!! '

'Ed had a happy life... He had the best friends in the world...'

Eddy: ED YOU IDIOT!!

Ed: It wasn't me!

He had the cutest little baby sister...

Sarah: I'M TELLING MOM!!

Ed: Oh don't tell mom!!

There was no bully...

'Kevin: Dorks! *leaves*'

Ed: Okay, see ya later Kevin!

But what happens when he finally snaps?!

Ed: YOU TORMENT ME!!

'Eddy: Ed? Is that you?!'

Ed: You make me and Double D do all the work!

Sarah: I'm telling mom!

Ed: Your mean to me, seven weeks a day!

Double D: You mean seven days a week...

Ed: Parents abuse me too...

'Ed Abuse... By Tfiction... Don't miss the sequel, Ed Abuse: Return of Eddy's brother...'

Jimmy and May: *both washing their mouths out with soap and water*

Edfan765: *takes May and Ed and shoves them in a white cushiony room like in prisons* Have fun! *locks the door*

Tyler: *Ties Jimmy to a chair over a volcano* Have fun!

Sarah: This sucks! *Jumps into a pit of fire... and lives...*

Edfan765: Aww... Can we redo that?

Suddenly everything is rewined by 10 seconds.

Sarah: This sucks! *Edfan765 blasts her with Mr. Bang Bang and her body parts fall into the fire*

Edfan765: Did you get that Tyler?

Tyler: Hell yeah!

Edfan765: *reading his first dare* I have never heard of Mulan before, but I decided to see the song on Youtube. Oh well!

NOTE: THIS VERSION IS NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE SENSE!

'Let's get down to business To defeat honey buns Did they send me mothers When I asked for guns? You're the gladdest hunch Hey look a net But you can bet Before you're through Mrs., I'll make a pan out of you'

'Burning like a forest But on water within Once you find your winter you are sure to win You're liverless, green pathetic lot And you haven't got some glue Somehow I'll make a pan out of you'

'I'm never gonna catch my death Say hel-lo to those who knew me Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting Tim (Tyler: Who's Tim?) This guy's got 'em scared to breath Hope he doesn't eat right through me Now I really wish that I knew how to swim'

'(Be a pan) We must be swift as the coursing liver (Be a pan) With all the force of a great loon (Be a pan) With all the length of a eating liar Mysterious as the left side of the spoon'

'Mice is shooting at us till the guns arrive Heed my every corder and you might survive You're unsuited for the rage of gore So pack up, go gnome you're through How could I make a pan out of you?'

'(Be a pan) We must be swift as the coursing liver (Be a pan) With all the force of a great loon (Be a pan) With all the length of a eating liar Mysterious as the left side of the spoon'

'(Be a pan) We must be swift as the coursing liver (Be a pan) With all the force of a great loon (Be a pan) With all the length of a eating liar Mysterious as the left side of the spoon'

Edfan765: *notices that everyone but Jonny, Ed, Double D and Tyler are all dead. Tyler is also holding up Mr. Band Band* What happened while I was messing the song up?

Tyler: Everyone but these 3 were laughing, so I blew them all up. Hope you don't mind.

Jonny: BEST SONG EVER!! Can I have your autograph?!

Edfan765: *hands him a signed album* This is my album.

Jonny: *holds up the album that says "remixs that make no sense whatsoever"* THIS IS AWSOME!!

Ed: *peering over the album* It has songs like "Eye of the Dickie", "What did you Eat", "We Got the Feet", and "Phsyco Dickie"!!

Jonny: I think I like "We Got the Feet" best!

Ed: Can I have one too?

Edfan765: *hands him another album* Anyways, *revives everyone* Sarah, you got revived so dance like a monkey!

Sarah: I HATE YOU!! *dances like a monkey*

Jonny: We should give her some music! *steals Kevin's boombox and puts the CD in and it starts playing "Eye of the Dickie"

Eddy: *uncontrolable laughing*

Edfan765: 3... 2... 1...

Eddy: *has a heart attack from laughing too hard*

Edfan765: *forces Ed to eat 582 pounds of sugar, 245 chocolate bars, 243 lolli-pops, a strange sweet chemical and a Livesaver* Go cause havoc in the Naruto niverse, the DBZ universe, the FlapJack univerese, the Chowder universe and...

Everyone: THE BARNEY UNIVERSE!

Ed: Zugah Zugah ZUGAH!!! I GOO NUW! ME IS HIIPURR! ME CONT CUNTRAL SULF!! *runs 5732 miles an hour away to the Naruto universe* (Yes, I did all those spelling errors on purpose.)

Edfan765: AWSOME! By the way, that was all evil!

From Easymac120

'Dares: 1)Sarah: Eat Ed's gravy cakes! 2)Eddy: Mud-wrestle Lee! 4)Edfan765(strap him to a chair for this): Watch reruns of Naruto saying "Believe it!"'

I have a good tough one for Edd next chapter!

Edfan765: Have you noticed that 3 is missing but 4 is here? Maybe we should get Anthon back up here. *walks away*

Tyler: Anyways, Sarah, eat the cakes!

Sarah: (still dancing) I hate you all!

Tyler: Well Edfan765 doesn't like you, Kevin, or Lee. So eat it before Ed gets back and over reacts again! *shoves the gravy cake in Sarah's mouth*

Eddy: *more uncontrolable laughing that leads him to choke on his own laughter*

Tyler: Darn it. *gets out a cell phone* Edfan765, we need... okay... you saw...? Alright... Okay, good... come on over when you're done. *hangs up*

Edfan765: *dragging a sleeping Anthon* Well this guy weighs like 200 pounds. Anyways *revives Eddy* Mud wrestle Lee!

Eddy: Wait, WHAT!?!

Lee: *tackles Eddy in the mud, but somehow falls into a burning crater that has a sign that says "Welcome to Hell!"*

Tyler: *reading over Edfan765's dare* uh oh...

Edfan765: ...

Tyler: *straps Edfan765 to a chair as Anthon goes to the bathroom again* This hurts me more than it hurts you... Actually you're the one being hurt here *drags the chair to a cramp closet with a TV and locks the door*

Anthon: Well lefthandliam, while my creator is forced to watch Naruto reruns, we would like to say that the Survival of the Eddest chapter is still in the making. However this story here seems to be getting more popular more quickly. So Edfan765 would like a small survey.

SURVEY: Which Fanfiction should I be working mostly on?

Ed or Dare

Survival of the Eddest

Smash Fortress: The Series

Anthon: Send your reply as a review. This survey ends on October 11th. Please, your opinion matters to us!

Tyler: Anyways, next dares!

Sound of pain, agony and "BELIEVE IT" are heard from the closet Edfan765 is trapped in... sucks to be him =P

From lefthandliam1998

Okay, i am a big fan of your fanfics but I'll just quit with the sucky talk

'Ed: Re-Eat Jimmy (LOOPHOLE!) seen once in A glass of warm ed Edd: Watch Meet the Spartans, Scary movies 1, 2, 4, and 3, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie and Disaster movie without leaving to throw up. Eddy: Drink a whole gallon of plain broth Sarah: Kiss Eddy on the lips Jimmy: Hang on a wall while The Kankers throw arrows at you Johnny: Dance on the grave of Planks deceased relatives Rolf: Eat Bridgette (From TDI and the chicken) alive Kevin: Allow Nazz to say HEAVY insults to you Nazz: Dance to the Barney theme The Kankers: drink 100 doses each of Delayed Action Mouse-Maker (It turns you into mice just so you know) and stay on Jimmy's chair until he sits down and totally OWNS you'

Ed comes running back with a ninja headband, bits of Goku's hair, Chowder's hat and FlapJack's pants. He also is carrying a dead Barney on his back

Ed: WOO!! I had a lot of fun until my sugar finally died out on me... *sees dare* OH GOODIE! LUNCH TIME! *swallows Jimmy whole*

Tyler: Wrong Jimmy...

Other Jimmy: HELP ME!

Ed: Oops... *eats the REAL Jimmy*

Both Jimmys: HELP ME!!

Double D: I do not think we have enough time to watch all- AH! *get's thrown into the same closet Edfan765 was in* Hello Edfan. How are you doing this evening?

Edfan765: *foaming at the mouth* Here are those movies you needed... *points at a pile of movies* Can you untie me? The Naruto movies are done...

Eddy: What's broth again?

Tyler: *holding up a jug* Something so secret that it must be delivered secretly... *shoves the whole jug down Eddy's throat. In a miracle, he survives... aww...*

Eddy: Hey! That tasted like plain chicken!

Ed: CHICKEN!!! *eats Eddy*

Tyler: HELP! ED'S GONE CANABALISTIC!!

Ed: RAWR!! *a lot of eating, yelling, regurgitating and reviving later...*

Tyler: Well, there really is a black hole inside Ed!

Eddy: Told ya.

Edfan765: *still with a little foam and twitching* Can we get on with it...?

Rolf: I shall prepare the lip-to-lip feast! *Tears off Sarah's lip (literally mind you) and Eddy's lip and forces both to make contact*

Eddy's lip: Even when I'm 3 feet away from my own body you still taste nasty! Can I get some breathmints?

Sarah's lip: You taste like pudding! I hate strawberry pudding! *her body kicks Eddy's nuts*

Eddy's Body: *silently yells out in pain*

Sarah's Body: *still dancing*

Jimmy: *gets tied pinned to a wall*

Tyler: Let's make things exciting! *pins him to a spinning wheel*

The Kankers: *throws arrows, then tomatoes, then cabages, then pigs, then tractors, then bullet bills, then fat obese athletes, then Chuck Norris, then a huge nuclear missle at Jimmy*

In the end, Jimmy died.

Jonny: NOO! I CAN'T DO IT!!

Plank:...

Jonny: Really? You would do that?

Plank:...

Jonny: Okay Plank... *starts break-dancing on the graves* Plank says that his family's traditions state that "Break-dancing on the graves is respectful."

Edfan765: Okay, let's see if we can get Bridgette over here...

Bridgette: *appearing from a portal* I can't believe I got eliminated on... HEY!

Nazz:(Angry) Grr... I thought we settled this the last time!

Bridgette: FINE! Let's have a vote then! Who's the dumber blonde here?

Everyone but Bridgette and Rolf: You.

Rolf: NO MATTER! *Eats bridgette with a side of chicken*

Edfan765: I think there is supposed to be another Bridgette?

Rolf: No matter as well. I shall go to eat this other dumb of the blond! *runs away*

Kevin: But this fanfiction has limits!

Edfan765: *sighing* Fine, do it in another room then.

Tyler: *secretly holding up remote for the cameras*

Kevin and Nazz: Fine... *leave*

Tyler: *presses a button that turns the TV on*

Nazz: (censor) (censor) (censor)ing (censor)y (censor) (censor)!!

Edfan765: THAT WAS NOT HEALTHY!

Nazz: *coming out of the room* What next? *looks at dare* Uhh...

Edfan765: Shut up. Do it in another room as well...

Tyler: *still hiding remote behind back*

Nazz: *grumbles off to another room*

Edfan765: Tyler, go record Nazz on the TV, Kankers, drink this! *shows them shelves and shelves of potions... all pink* well, a certain SOMEONE had put food coloring in these potions while they were being shiped!

Kankers: *drinking as many potions as possible*

May: I feel (voice starts to get all squeaky as she shrinks) very weird...

Marie: I HATE You... (shrinking)

Lee:... (shrinks again)

Kankers: *run over to a chair*

Edfan765: *revives Jimmy* Sit in that chair.

Jimmy: *sits in the chair, but then he brakes his butt (How did he do that?) by sitting*

Edfan765: SUPER FAIL!! *makes Ed sit on the chair instead*

Double D: *crawling out of the closet* Ahher.... Mu... mea... *KO*

Edfan765: I think those movies were too scary...

Tyler: Yup. Anyways, just get to the questions already!

Edfan765: Alright... our three lucky competitors are... Kevin, Plank, and Ed!


 * You should know what happens by now*

Tyler: First question for Kevin: What is Ed's middle name?

Kevin: How the hell am I supposed to know tha-

Tyler: TIMES UP!! *presses button that make Kevin's hat explode... along with him*

Edfan765:... Plank? How many ants does Double D have, as off the episode "Stop, Look and Ed?"

Plank: (Only Jonny can understand him) 5239.

Edfan765:... *4 days later*... TIMES UP GOD DAMMIT!

Jonny: WHAT?! HE SAID THE RIGHT ANSWER! I got my eye on you... WOOD HATOR!! *leaves taking Plank with him*

Tyler: ... that kid is creepy...

Jonny: Plank says he heard that!

Ed: I WIN!!

Edfan765: Yes. But since you did not get a question, your prize is a bit more minor... *gives him a sponge* it's only worth 5 cents...

Ed: YAY! Another sponge for my collection!

Edfan765: So anyways, these are thing you can review on...

Vote on which fanfiction I should spend the most time working on.

Vote what theory you think would work for the origin of Plank

Dare the cast (including Tyler, Anthon, and Edfan765)

Give truths to the cast

Give us questions for our game at the end of each chapter

Vote on our poll on my profile...

Tyler: Long list... anyways, here are the guest star results...

Robin: 2

Patrick: 2

Izzy: 2

Luigi: 2

Samus: 0

Tyler: Remember, the poll closes a day before chapter 4 is out, which means the next chapter is the deadline! Vote while you can!

Edfan765: I would like to thank all of the fans and reviewers for this and my other stories as well. Thank you all... *hands all the reviewers sponges* Start your own collection like Ed!

Ed: *holding up 20 more sponges* I collect sponges...

Anthon: *waking up* Did I miss the entire chapter?!

Everyone: Yes...

Anthon: NOO!!! CURSE YOU MR. FISHIE!! *kills his fish with Mr. Bang Bang*

Edfan765: PS: Mr. Bang Bang is my secondary weapon...

Tyler: Vote, Dare, Favorite, Subscribe, and laugh!

Edfan765: Good bye and I'll see you either in this story, Smash Fortress or Survival of the Eddest...

'''Edfan765: Sorry for the delay guys. Again, my dad installed an anti-virus program and I couldn’t go onto to see the dares. As for you Dnny… I’ll let you off with a warning. One more insult like that and you will be BANISHED!!'''

'''Anthon: You seriously don’t want to be banished guys. You cannot read, review, dare, or do any of that cool stuff on this fanfiction and all of his others.'''

'''Tyler: Anyways, Edfan765, obviously doesn't own anything but me and Anthon. I mean, come on! It's not like the Danny (the name of the creator of EEnE) would have a fanfiction account... Would he?'''

Anthon: *shrugs* Anyways, Cartoon network, AKA productions, Danny, please don't sue us!

'''Edfan765: Today, the votes are counted for the guest stars... and I shall not spoil the votes until the bottom of the story...'''

Ed: *appearing out of nowhere* HI ME FAN REALLY BIG NUMBER!

'''Edfan765: What the hell Ed?! Go back and stick to the friggin' script!'''

Ed: But I always wanted to talk in bold!

Edfan765: Out.

Ed: But-

Tyler: Out.

Ed: I-

Anthon: Out.

Ed: Buttered-

All three: OUT!!

Ed: *runs away crying*

'''Edfan765: Long intro... Read and Dare.'''

Twas the night before Ed or Dare, and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a blouse...

Nazz: YOU IDIOT NARRORATOR!!

Narrator: Well it's not my fault if Edfan765 makes me say retarded things!

*TAKE 2*

Twas the night before Ed or Dare, and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Mouse: Yes I am stirring! *steals cheese*

Tyler: Stupid mouse *gets out Mr. Bang Bang and blows up the mouse*

*Take 13*

Twas the night before-

Ed: COOKIE DOUGH!!

*Take 53*

Twas the night before Christmas and-

Sarah: IDIOT!! *kicks Narrator in the groin*

Narrator: *makes funny squealing sounds*

*Take 278*

Twas the night before Ed or Dare... You know what? I quit.

Edfan765: Screw you. *kills the Narrator with an explosion from his staff* Welcome to Ed or Dare!!

Tyler: The votes are in and so are the dares! Now let's get this party started!

From Ultraman Nexus

'Falls down on chair. Where do you guys come up with this stuff?! Real comedy entertainment. Anyways, I think you should definately focus the most attention on this one. Oh and Eddy, I really don't hate you people I'm actually a big fan of the series, though I like Edd, Marie, and Plank more than the rest of you. Now for the torture, I mean dares...'

Tyler: Here's a dare, spank Eddy over your lap until you get tired, or bored, or whenever you want.

'Kevin: Eat dog poop and have edfan765 record it and put it on youtube. Then be transformed into an extremelly ugly looking dog and have Edd or Anthon neuter and turn you back into a human with the damage still there.'

Edd: You and Marie must sing Can You Feel The Love Tonight with Ed and Eddy as Timon and Pumba.

'Eddy:Run through a maze filled with poisonous snakes, crocodiles, dingos, a chubacabra, a man eating Pikachu, to get a billion dollars in the middle. But will you keep it? Hmm, maybe I'll give you a visit.'

Marie:Use reverse psychology on Edd.

Truths:

'Eddy:Why is your hair in that style? No one could possiby have it in real life and it's pushing it for a cartoon.'

Edd: Do you have any friends before you met Ed and Eddy?

Oh and if edfan765 wants it, your free to summon me any time to deal out punishment on Kevin or whoever wrongs you.

Edfan765: A comedian never reveals his secrets... *closes a safe that has big bold words on it that says "SAFE THAT I KEEP JOKES I MADE UP WHEN I WAS 6"*

Tyler: Okay then... *grabs Eddy and forces him to lean over onto his lap while he spanks Eddy with his hand. He stopped then used a paddle... then a snow globe... then belt, then a Britney Spears plushy, a can of soda, a slinky, a 7 year old kid, a crayon, the same soda can, the reader's computer, a school bus and then a tub of gravy!*

Eddy: I hate this... *whines like a baby*

Kevin: *reading his dare* Why does everyone hate me?!

Tyler: Must we rant the same things on why Nazz hates you now as in chapter 1?

Kevin: no... *Eats dog food unwillingly*

Edfan765: *with a camera* YES YES! I shall get a YouTube account! And then, it shall become so popular, it will rival FRED!! *evil sinister laugh*

Tyler: He's done. Now turn him into a doggie.

Edfan765: Sorry. The closest thing I can get is a hyena.

Anthon: That'll do.

Edfan765: *gets out a ray gun* This hurts you a lot more than it will hurt me... *Blasts Kevin while he is saying "DAMN YOU TO HE-"*

Kevin: *he is now a red hyena who is very smelly and looks like he bathed in garbage for his whole life* RUFF RUFF RUFF!! *blood thirsty growl*

Edfan765: STAND DOWN KEVIN! *holds up a vacuum* DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS!!

Kevin: Err? *stares at vacuum*

Edfan765: Oops... *tosses vacuum away and grabs Mr. Bang Bang*

Tyler: What's a neuter?

Edfan765: *looks up from a dictionary* It means to remove the uhh... *whispers in both of their ears, which makes them both blush in a sense of “OMG”* Double D, Anthon, time to do an operation! *shoots a sleep dart at Kevin incase he bites*

Double D & Anthon: *they take away Kevin*

Tyler: *holds up the remote* Shall we?

Edfan765: *turning a bit green* Not this time. I think I just heard a spleen explode... *throws up into a garbage can*

Double D: *coming out* I'm afraid he didn't make it... Best move on, shall we gentlemen?

Tyler: Right... So, which Ed is gonna be Pumba?

One horrible performance later...

Edfan765: BOO! YOU FREAKIN' SUCK!! *throws a tomato at Eddy*

Sarah: A cactus could dance better than that! *throws a tomato at Eddy*

Jimmy: It made my ears bleed!! *throws a tomato at Eddy*

Anthon: O O OO!! MY TURN!! *silence for a while* YOU SUCK!! *throws a crate filled with tomatoes at Eddy.*

Ironically, Ed, Double D, and Marie were untouched by the tomatoes. Infact, Marie had joined the crowd in throwing tomatoes at Eddy. Eddy was trying to use Ed as a human shield, but somehow, the tomatoes hit him in the back.

Eddy: You people don't even know talent!!

Anthon: YOU FAIL!! *throws a tractor at him*

The Eds: *stare at the tractor* ("Oh Goody Goody, I AM ED!!")

The Tractor squishes Eddy, but ends up missing Ed and Double D.

Tyler: Cookies for all! *throws cookies in the air as a celebration for the defeat of Eddy*

Eddy: *Crawling out from under the tractor* is it over?

Edfan765: Not quite... *shows him the maze* If you do it, you'll get a billion bucks!

Eddy: NO FOOLING?! YAHOO! *runs into the maze*

Edfan765: I forgot to tell him about the snakes...

Tyler: And the crocs...

Double D: And the dingos...

Jonny: And the chupacabra...

Anthon: And the Pikachu...

Edfan765: I also forgot to tell him that the middle was sealed off on all sides. That's where the money is.

Eddy: *inside the maze* AHH!!

Loud sounds of crocodiles carrying away body parts, snake bitings, dingos growling, a chubacabra doing what a chubacabra does, and a really loud "PIKA!!" are heard.

Edfan765: Ed, go get him.

Ed: *acting like dog* RUFF RUFF!! *jumps into the maze*

Edfan765: How come you people keep forgeting that the kids already do half of these dares?! Marie already used reverse psychology in the episode "A Twist of Ed."

Ed: *coming out of the maze with a bruised dead Eddy in his mouth* RUFF!! *drops Eddy and sticks out tougne*

Tyler: *throws him a bone* There boy.

Edfan765: *revives Eddy* You really do push it for a cartoon.

Eddy: It's not my fault that my hair is like this. Blame Danny.

Double D: What did we say about that vow to stop breaking the 4th wall?

Eddy: DANNY DANNY DANNY DANNY!! I don't care about that dumb vow. Besides, I crossed my fingers.

Edfan765: Damn those finger crossers.

Eddy: Anyways, my bro is also a professional barber! While I was sleeping one night, he cut off ALL of my hair besides these 3. I don't know why, but my hair seems to be magic or something. 'Cuz every time my hair is pulled out or blown up, it grows back right there! But the rest of my hair never grew back. Oh well. Anyways, Sockhead, tell us about before you met me and Lumpy.

Double D: I can’t remember. All I know is my family moved to Peach Creek, where I met Ed and Eddy. For some odd reason, Ed dropped my parents' house on my head. Strange... so I couldn’t remember anything.

Anthon: *coming out of the infirmary screaming* IT'S KEVIN! HE'S A MONSTER!!

Edfan765: Wait, what?!

Kevin: *He bashes into the studio. He is now a resemblance to "The Blob" but he has 5 eyes, 1 tentacle arm, 6 mouths, and 35284 sharp, pointy teeth* !!!!!!!!!!!one+shift!!!

Edfan765: Here, watch a commercial while we get eaten by Kevin...

The Grim Edventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy is now on DVD!

Watch Season 1 of your favorite super-natural Ed Edd n Eddy adventures!

'They battle Ember Mclain, Boogey, and Other creatures as they make allies and try to have a normal life! But not nothing is ever normal in this Cul-de-sac!'

'Season 1 on DVD. Now only $19.99! Not only that, but call now, and get this exclusive musical CD featuring all the songs played in the Grim Edventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy, including Remember, The Meteor's song, the Squid's song, and much more! Just pay shipping and handling.'

'Season 1, and the musical CD would be $85 value, (due to extreme popularity) but right now, you can order it for $19.99! Call now!'

(Phone Number censored incase someone was actually dumb enough to call)

'You know what? Forget this Ad. Just go read the fanfiction...'

Edfan765: *everyone is seen dead but Tyler, Anthon, and Ed, who is still acting like a dog* okay, now that's over, next dares! *revives everyone*

From lefthandliam1998

Okay now I've got MOAR dares 

'Edfan765: Review Harry PottEd by Shutup321 (I mean it man!) Tyler: Do Double D's homework Anthon: Sing My little pony over and over again until your head blows up Ed: Kill Sarah with a knife Edd: Act reckless Eddy: Write all over Lee's face to get her mad Sarah: Act in a movie starring you as a good guy and Jimmy as a bad guy and kill the bad guy Jimmy: Watch a very interesting episode of Thomas and Friends in a different language Johnny: Show us who Plank REALLY is Rolf: Turn yourself into Darth Vader and try to choke everyone in the place until the commercial. Kevin: Go into a Dimensional portal with the help of Edfan's staff and give my OC Sam a kiss, hey, you gotta make Nazz jealous somehow Nazz: Dress like a female Edd and do caramelldansen and Ed claps and Eddy sits there with a WTF expression on his face. May: Bake your sisters dinner like at those japanese food restaurants with the ninja chefs Marie: Apologise for every time you kissed Double D or I will send my OC Liam on a crazy rampage in your room Lee: Inflate yourself into a balloon-like shape and float into the air Questions: Who taught Eddy how to scam? (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat) Why does Kevin always use dork as an insult? (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat) Which state is peach creek in? (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat) How did the Kankers win Peach Creek? (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat)'

Edfan765: Moar indeed. I'm sorry but I am not excepting dares like that. If I did, then people would end up sending me a ton of dares telling me to review, subscribe, and favorite their stories, even if I didn't like them. I'm sorry. However, I did take a look at it. Also, guys, I said TWO (2) questions only! So I shall only use two of those questions... I choose "Which State is Peach Creek in and How did the Kankers win Peach Creek" (PS: The Kankers didn't cheat. Their ancestors won it in a poker game)

Tyler: Okay. Double D is still in Jr. High. How bad can it be?

Anthon: *points at a large amount of papers, textbooks, and pencils next to Double D*

Tyler: You wanted THAT much extra credit?!?!

Double D: I apologize, but had no idea that you would end up having to do all of my homework.

Tyler: I'm gonna kill you later... *starts on the algebra*

Anthon: (looking at dare) *gulp* My Little- *head explodes into bits, and those bits explode into smaller bits, and those bits explode into even smaller bits, and so on...*

Ed: But Sarah can't get killed by big brother!

Sarah: YOU BETTER NOT KILL ME!

Edfan765: *revives Anthon* Here, *hands Ed a plastic knife*

Ed: NO! I'm gonna put this away. *trips over a bug and loses grip of the knife, where it flies and impales Sarah in the head* NOOO!!! ... Oh well.

Double D: Umm... Haboogle?

Eddy: I've wanted to do this for a LONG time! *takes a blow dart and makes Lee fall asleep* hahahahehehe... *draws a mustache, big dorky glasses, a bigger nose, devil horns, and writes "I am a wiener" on Lee's shirt* HAHAHA!!

Tyler: *revives Anthon and Sarah* Sarah, make a movie where you have to kill Jimmy, who is the bad guy!

Sarah: Umm... Okay?


 * One very bad movie later...*

Edfan765: *reading a newspaper* The critics rate it a negative 2 out of 10!

Tyler: *throwing tomatoes rapidly* It sucked more than Eddy's singing!

Nazz: *throwing tomatoes* And that's saying something!

Anthon: Take this! DA ROAD DA ROLLA! *Da road da rolla squishes Sarah* WWWWWWRRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!

Edfan765: *revives Sarah and Jimmy* Okay Jimmy, watch stupid videos about a talking train in Chinese. *ties Jimmy to a chair and throws him into a closet with nothing but a TV and 8 hours Thomas and Friends videos*

Tyler: Now that Jimmy's in the closet... LET'S THROW A MASSIVE PARTY!!

*8 hours of partying later...*

Edfan765: (covered in confetti) I think it's time to let Jimmy out.

Ed: *eating lots of cake* Aww...

Edfan765: *opens the door as Jimmy falls out speaking Chinese*

Jimmy: *mumbles something in Chinese*

Edfan765: Not good, I can't translate Chinese.

Double D: *holding up a translating dictionary* He says "I learned how to talk in Chinese now. But the train sucked so I blew up the television."

Anthon: *really deep slow-mo voice* NOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT OUR PRECIOUS!!! *takes Mr. Bang Bang goes Bang bang with Jimmy*

Edfan765: Right... *revives Jimmy* By the way, You misspelled "Jonny." He doesn't have an H. Why does everyone make spelling his name harder? I mean when you add an H, you have to reach all the way to that H! If Jonny's name was spelt with an H, every fanfiction that had Jonny as a main character would have an extra 250 letters! Anyways, now that my furious rant is over, Jonny?

Jonny: Okay... but you're not gonna like it...

Plank: *transforms into something with unspeakable terror*

Edfan765: MAKE IT STOP!

Tyler: HOLY CRAP IT BURNS!

Jimmy: *says "My innocence is gone!" in Chinese*

Plank: *transforms back to normal* (to Jonny) I do not understand why everyone panicked. I just revealed that I am really made out of oak.

Rolf: *gets a black mask and a big black cloak, and a black helmet, and some black pants, black shoes, black socks, black underwear, black gloves, and a black chestplate* Ed-boy... Rolf is your ancestor! *attempts to force choke Eddy, but horribly fails, and is just squeezing the air*

Tyler: I don't think Nazz is jealous of Kevin anymore for... anything really. *notices Nazz gawking at him* I think we should open that portal now...

Anthon and Tyler rip the wallpaper off one of the walls to reveal a swirling vortex.

Anthon: Your next destination is lefthandliam1998's profile. We will be arriving in 3 seconds. *throws Kevin into the portal*

Nazz: *reading dare* What the-

Edfan765: *gives her Double D's shirt, pants, shoes, and socks* Remember, the socks have to be pulled up!

Double D: Where did you get- *notices that he is in nothing but his underwear and hat* I'M NAKED!! (I’ve always wanted to do that. I’m evil aren’t I?) *Runs out of the studio*

Edfan765: That reminds me! I found out secret lyrics to the Caramel-Dansen dance. Just play it in slow motion. (It fits an evil Jigglypuff nicly) *inserts the disc into Kevin's stolen Boom box*

''Oh whoa woo-ah! Damn, all these souls, I kept them in a hand bag, Yours, only yours I'm sick of all this dancing. It's no lie. We're in the club saying The devil went, And did the Caramell-Dansen!''

Nazz: *dancing in slow-mo*

Ed: *claping*

Eddy: WTF

Edfan765: Dance like Nazz! *snaps finger*

Sarah, Jimmy, and Lee: *start doing the Caramell-Dansen dance from a magical force*

Edfan765: Clap like Ed! *snaps finger again*

Anthon, Marie, May, and Jonny: *start clapping*

Edfan765: Go "WTF" like Eddy! *snaps finger again again*

Tyler, Rolf, and Edfan765: WTF

Later...

May: *reads dare* Uhh, okay I guess. *gets out a butcher knife and starts making a large sushi dinner*


 * for some reason "Living in the Sunlight" (that song on SpongeBob) Starts playing*

May: Sushi anyone?

Ed: FISH FOOD!! *eats the buffet before the Kankers can*

May: I knew you would like my cooking, Big Ed.

Ed: Tastes like gravy. *smiles idiotically like always*

Marie: I thought Double D liked my kisses!

Edfan765: *holding up a cell phone* She's not apologizing... yeah... okay... Liam's going on a rampage already...? Okay... thank you. *hangs up* Well, than Kanker. Your room's gonna be a mess.

A large BOOM is heard from the Kankers' room.

Marie: AHH!! *runs away to fix room*

Edfan765: *Evil grin* I always wanted to do this. *shoves a bicycle pump hose in Lee's mouth* PUMP!! *Pump, pump, pump, pump*

Tyler: *Observing the REALLY inflated Lee* Wow... normally people would explode before they became that infla-

Lee: *BOOM*

Eddy: YAY!!

Anthon: I love dares! Let's do the next ones!

Edfan765: Okay, here are some from our reviewer, aquadragonsayian.

From aquadragonsayian

'*lmao* That was great! Woo... Okay, I'm good... (P.S.: do this if you've played Kingdom Hearts or something)'

Kevin: Get eaten alive by Heartless, get revived then be annilated by Nobodies.

The 'dumb' people: Do something really stupid and make your target's nose bleed (for thier brain might have died)

Ed, Anthon and Tyler: *hands them Red Bull* Fly around like idiots while singing 'I believe I can fly!', and maybe crash into stuff.

Jimmy: If you've played or heard of Dead Space, throw him into the Ichimura (which is in space) and let him get eaten, slashed, stabbed or blasted alive by Necromorphs (alien zombies).

Eddy: Eat Ed's underwear.

Double D: *hands him a cat's costume* Run around in circles while singing the 'Meow Mix' theme song.

'Sarah: LET ME APPEAR AND BLAST HER TO KINGDOM COME! Then let her be Bowser's prison **! And give her the same fate as Jimmy!! XP'

'Hm... That's all i've got for now. And I think you should do this fanfic and Survival of the Edest. Or maybe the former... Update soon!'

Jimmy: *says some more Chinese*

Double D: *comes back with his clothes back* He said "What does lmao mean?"

Jonny: Plank says "It means 'laugh my a-"

Edfan765: SHUT UP! The description for this fanfiction only said "Mild language," not moderate, so don't even think about saying "glass" without the G and L!

Kevin: HAH! I can't do this dare because you've never played Kingdom Hearts!

Edfan765: Yeah, but there is weird kid in school who told me about it. He's allergic to peanut butter...

Tyler: And wheat...

Anthon: and soy...

Eddy: And garlic coughvampirecough

Edfan765: So anyways, *opens a big cage filled with Heartless and nobodies*

Kevin: DAMN YOU ALL!! *gets thrown into the cage*

A lot of chomps, belches, 1 revive, a lot of BOOMS, lasers, and nobody sounds later...

Kevin: (in a wheelchair, broken arm, broken legs, bandages all over him, and he is in a full body cast) I hate everything...

Ed: COOKIE DOUGH!!

Anthon: I LIKE SHINY STUFF!!!

Jonny: I GOT ROBBED BY A FAKE JAMAICAN!!

All the others but Edfan765's heads explode.

Edfan765: *taking off earmuffs* Okay then... *revives everyone else*

aquadragonsayian (can I just call you Aqua? That name is a little long) suddenly appears and gives Ed, Anthon, and Tyler Red Bull and disappears

Edfan765: What are they supposed to do?

Ed and Anthon: *already start drinking*

Tyler: This is beer. She never really said what to do with this crap, so... *spills the beer onto a plant, where the plant goes drunk and starts dancing*

Ed and Anthon: Wazz we d0? *walks into a plane* wut tis botten du? *click*

The airplane starts zooming at a million miles an hour (exaturating) and the plane ends up in the ocean.

Edfan765: Moral: Drunk planning is more dangerous than drunk driving, so just drunk walk.

Tyler: *with a hang glider* Here I go... *jumps off a cliff and starts gliding like a pro* I FEEL SO ALIVE!! *crashes into a cactus* What the hell?! WE'RE IN COLORADO!!

Edfan765: Right... Anyways, *revives Anthon and Ed* Time to blast Jimmy to a spaceship! *shoves Jimmy into a cannon* Bring me back a postcard! *shoots a screaming Jimmy out of the cannon*

Eddy: ED'S UNDERWEAR?! I'd rather be in a musical featuring Rolf singing that Yesh... yesmy... Whatever song!

Tyler: OH WELL! *shoves Ed's dirty underwear into Eddy's mouth*

Eddy: *suffocates and dies*

Double D: A cat costume? This is completely reckless!

Tyler: Not good! I do not want to hear Double D sing! You do not want to know how he sings!

Nazz: How bad?

*Flashback*

Double D: *auditioning for a play*

Teacher: Okay, now try singing.

'''Double D: Umm... Ohhh...'''

*Insert ear death here*

Double D: Wooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh…… *realizes he set the school on fire* Uhh… my apologizes.

*End Flashback*

Tyler: Oh well. Just go singing and running around in that empty closet. *points to a broom closet*

Double D: *sigh* Very well than… *enters into the broom closet*

Edfan765: Luckily for us, the door is sound-proof. Anyways, everyone get some popcorn and soda, we are about to see a show!

A giant stage appears, with only Sarah and Jimmy on it. The rest are in bleachers in front of it. Aqua suddenly appears out of nowhere to battle.

Aqua: I shall blast you to kingdom come!

Aqua launches out a few punches, all of which Sarah quickly dodges. Sarah kicks Aqua into the air and jumps up to follow her. Sarah launches a few punches and kicks. As she prepares to kick Aqua to the ground, Aqua suddenly kicks Sarah. Hard. She flies into a wall, leaving a horizontal crater in it as she falls to the ground.

Aqua dashes up to Sarah and grabs her by the neck. She slams Sarah to the ground three times before throwing her into the same wall. Sarah gain enough conscious to see that Aqua dashes for her again. Prepared, Sarah kicks Aqua upwards and runs up the wall to catch up. Aqua punches Sarah into the wall and kicks her into the stomach downwards to shove her back into the cold hard floor.

Sarah: It looks like I’ll have to use my ultimate power…

Sarah starts charging up power dramatically as she starts having a yellow aura, indicating she is starting to charge up a ton of power. Sarah than unleashes a wave of pure energy heading Aqua’s way. Aqua uses her own intense power to block the wave. Focusing harder and harder, the wave starts shrinking back to Sarah until…

BOOM!!

Sarah: Sarah is blasting off again!! *twinkle*

Edfan765: I hope she really did land in Bowser’s prison.

MEANWHILE

Sarah: *Lands inside of a jail cell* ow… What the hell?

Koopa guard: SILENCE SHE-WITCH!!!

Jimmy: *lands right next to Sarah*

Koopa guard: Wow! I’m gonna get a promotion for this!

Back in the studio

Aqua: That felt good.

Edfan765: Good work Aqua. And thanks for kicking Kevin. Too bad the neutering takes away his… Unmentioned.

Kevin: *very depressed and scared* I’ll be good.

Aqua: *shivers* That's scary. Anyways, I'm out. *teleports away*

Edfan765: That is one dangerous author.

Tyler: Let's get on with it.

From Easymac120

'Lol, you must really hate me for that Naruto dare, lol! Anyway, work on this fic, and I vote for Patrick! Now here's more stuff:'

Truths: (have Edd & Marie sit together; I'm an Edd/Marie fan) 1)Edd: Would you like Marie if she did something nice for you? 2)Marie: Will you be nice to Edd to win his heart?

Dares: (at a luxurious resort) 1)Marie: Tell Edd how much you love him while massaging him until his dare comes. 2)Eddy: While Kevin relaxes, fan him and feed him grapes! 3)Tyler: While Ed relaxes, clean iniside his bellybutton and between his toes! 4)Edd: Choose one of the following to do with Marie: A)dance with her to hip-hop music (have Anthon as the DJ). B)sing a love song to her while massaging her. C)make out with her in a jacuzzi. If you don't choose, Marie will beat you up and give you tongue.

Edfan765: Don’t worry. I don’t hate. I just strongly dislike. I very strongly dislike… Anyways, the guest stars are voted on a poll. Votes from reviews will be void.

Rolf: *Still attempting to choke Nazz*

Edfan765: Rolf is getting really annoying. Let’s skip to a commercial break.

Commercial break.

A man is stuck in a traffic jam.

'Man: gee. It sure is boring around here. *puts a CD into the CD player* NOW I WANT TO LISTEN TO MUSIC!!'

Suddenly the guy is listening to music that is waaaaaay too awesome and starts bopping his head against the wheel, sending it out of control and crashing into a tree.

'Want to listen to music that owns?! Well get your copy of “Remixs that make no sense whatsoever today!” Featuring songs like Eye of the Dickie-'

'It’s the, Eye of the Dickie, It’s the drill of the night, Rising up, to the challenge of those light bulbs! And the, last known survivor stalks his foot in the fight, and he’s watching us all with the eyeeeeee of the Dickie.'

Hungry like the Cow

'Dickie you want me, Gimmie a fry! And catch my eating Even closer in binds'

Make a Pan out of you-

'Burning like a forest But on water within Once you find your winter you are sure to win You're liverless, green pathetic lot And you haven't got some glue Somehow I'll make a pan out of you'

'And many more! All on one CD! Now only for the low price of… FREE'

'You just have to wait until all of the songs are sung on this fanfiction. MWAHAHA!!'

End Commercial break.

Rolf: ROLF IS FREE! THANK YOU ED-BOY WORSHIPPER!!

Edfan765: *backing away slowly* I can’t believe I know you.

Tyler: *looking at the dares* Looks like this portion of our story will be based on EddxMarie.

Eddy: HA! Like that’ll ever happen.

Edfan765: It already has happened in a ton of other fanfictions. In fact, I recall one of you dating Marie!

Eddy: *falls over and starts twitching while sucking thumb*

Edfan765: Anyways, *organizes seats so Edd and Marie are sitting next to each other* So Double D would you like Marie if she did something nice to you?

Ed: And see them eating each other’s faces?! (AKA kissing) Ew…

Tyler: *blasts Ed* Shut up for once.

Double D: Well, Marie is a bit brash with her actions, but if she would make a change of phase than she would be much pleasant.

Edfan765: *sleeping because of the boring response.*

Marie: The Kanker family never did anything nice.

Tyler: Please explain.

Marie: First, one of our ancestors pushed an old dude into the Loch Ness. The monster ate him.

May: Then later we won Peach Creek through a poker game.

Lee: That we cheated in!

Marie: And now I remember stuffing pudding in Double D’s hat before the show.

Double D: *tons of chocolate pudding comes out of his hat* Curses! I have to go change now. *leaves to get changed again*

One change later…

Marie *reads her dare* That’s easy. *massage’s Double D’s back painfully, because that is the only way she knows how to do it.* I love you, I love you, I love you…

Double D: OW! OW! OW OW!

Eddy: *stops sucking thumb and reads dare* AHH!! *has another spaz attack*

Edfan765: *slaps Eddy in the face* Get a hold of yourself! *gives him grapes* (whispering) They’re loaded with potassium betonies.

Eddy: …

Edfan765: That’s bad.

Kevin: FINALLY MY LUCK IS TURNING!! TAKE THAT DORKY!!!

Eddy: *fans Kevin, than “accidentally” chokes him with 20 poisonous berries*

Tyler: *with a camcorder* We shall take over the internet soon! *looks at dare* Oh crap…

Edfan765: *looks at Tyler’s dare* Oh… sucks to be you. *revives Ed*

Ed: Hi guys! Death was like a huge roller coaster with snacks and gravy!

Tyler: (wearing a bio-hazard suit) If I die, Ed stays away from my funeral.

CENSORED DUE TO THE FACT THAT IF YOU SAW WHAT WAS IN ED’S BELLYBUTTON AND TOES, YOU WILL THROW UP.

Tyler: (on the floor, spazzing out) I’ve been scared for life…

Edfan765: *sadly shakes head* another child’s innocence gone…

Ed: *sniffling* I feel clean…

Double D: OW OW!! Stop-OW!-Mar-OW!-Ie! My Dare-OW!-is now!-Ow… I guess I select A.

Suddenly, the entire place is turned upside down as it is now turned into a disco pub.

Anthon: YEAH! Time to rock out loud!

This song is Hungry like the Wolf by Duran Duran, only my screwed up version known as “Hungry like the Cow”

'Light in my pity, Height is a plier Scream in that one way Kevin's a lier (Kevin: I HEARD THAT!)'

Do do do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do

'Dickie you want me, gimmie a fry. And catch my eating Even closer in binds'

Do do do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do

'In touch with the mound (of dirt) I’m on the hunt I’m after glue. Smell like gown I’m lost in a pound And I’m hungry like the cow!'

'Staggle that guy, I am going to rhyme I’m on the hunt I’m after glue.'

'Mouth is a mine Making Ed drunk with wine, And I’m hungry like the cow!'

'Chopping the forest, Too fat to ride I’ll be upon you When the moonlight, dies.'

Do do do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do

'High blood drumming On your face it’s so light. You eat my feet I’m just a mile behind'

Do do do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do

'In touch with the mound (of dirt) I’m on the hunt I’m after glue. Smell like gown I’m lost in a pound And I’m hungry like the cow!'

'Strangle that guy, I am going to rhyme I’m on the hunt I’m after glue.'

'Mouth is a mine Making Ed drunk with wine, And I’m hungry like the cow!'

Hungry like the cow.

Hungry like the cow.

Hungry like the cow.

'Strangle that guy, I am going to rhyme I’m on the hunt I’m after glue.'

'Mouth is a mine Making Ed drunk with wine, And I’m hungry like the cow!'

'Strangle that guy, I am going to rhyme I’m on the hunt I’m after glue.'

'Mouth is a mine Making Ed drunk with wine, And I’m hungry like the cow!'

'Strangle that guy, I am going to rhyme I’m on the hunt I’m after glue.'

'Mouth is a mine Making Ed drunk with wine, And I’m hungry like the cow!'

'Strangle that guy, I am going to rhyme I’m on the hunt I’m after glue.'

'Mouth is a mine Making Ed drunk with wine, And I’m hungry like the cow!'

Edfan765: Another day, another song being completely screwed up to no end.

Tyler: Oh well. Next dares!

From Kat and Nini

'Kat: Oh yes, we are being very evil. Thank you.'

Nini: Let's try to be a bit nicer this time, Kat. Here are some more dares and questions!

Dares: Eddy- Eddy, meet Kat's army of rabid kittens. Kat's army of rabid kittens, meet Eddy. Kitties, attack the short one! (Kat: And you thought you hated us before...) Kevin- Allow Eddy to beat you up, even to death, however way he wants! Ultraman Nexus can even join in if it's convenient. Jonny- You want Sarah off your back? Fit her into a microwave set on High and turn it on for five minutes. Tyler- Use Mr. Bang Bang to shoot three random people playing the game, just for the fun of it! Anthon- Challenge any one player to a duel (brawl, card game, whatever), and whoever loses has to kill themself. Edfan765- Set the Naruto universe on fire! Muahaha!

Questions: What is the name of the "neighborhood" which the Eds are trying to find on Halloween night? (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat!)

How many fans does the Ed, Edd n Eddy series have in total? (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat!)

Name three of Ed's biggest obsessions. (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat. But if whoever is asked this question does NOT get this right, they must be shot!)

Kat: I believe that's it for now...Oh! For your stories, we both would love to see an update for Survival of the Eddest. Though we also love this, too...

Nini: Which is why we keep sending these dares, which seems not any less evil than the previous chapter. Oops...As for Kevin and Eddy: we hate you, too. :D

Edfan765: Don’t worry about being too evil. That’s what this T/D is for: taking all of your anger out on the Eds and kids.

Kevin: THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU ALL!!

Tyler: *kicks him in the nuts* God you’re annoying!

Eddy: … I hate you-

Kat’s army of rabid kittens, or the KAOFK: MEOW!!! *owns Eddy to the EXTREME*

Kevin: HA! In your face! *reads dare* OH COME ON! YOU GUYS HATE ME EVEN MORE THAN DORKY!!

Eddy: YES!! *steals Mr. Bang Bang* TAKE THIS SHOVEL CHIN!!

(You should know what happens when you have Eddy + Nuclear weapon + Ultraman Nexus + Shovel chinned dork = NUKE!!)

Ultraman Nexus: *forces Kevin to ingest a bomb*

Kevin: YOU ALL SUCK!!!- *explodes, where his guts go flying*

Edfan765: Ew… *revives Kevin, after everyone finds his internal organs*

Jonny: Finally someone writes my name right! *stuffs Sarah in a microwave and sets it on high… But accidentally sets it on “NUKE”*

Sarah: I STILL LOVE YOU!! *melts*

Tyler: YEAH!! Now I shall take 3 names out of a hat… Double D, Kevin (of course) and Jimmy! *blasts said people* That felt good.

Anthon: YES! I challenge… THE DORK!!

Edfan765: *revives Double D, Jimmy, Sarah and Kevin* Okay, what do you challenge him in?

Anthon: A COIN TOSS! Heads, I win. Tails, you lose. *flips coin*

Tyler: What the hell? How did it land on the side?

Edfan765: You both lose! *stabs them both with a samurai sword* I have no idea where I got this from. *throws it away, where you can hear a “GAHH!!” from a certain blond ninja coughNarutocough.*

Tyler: Hey, set umm… “That” universe on fire now!

Edfan765: *rips some wallpaper off the walls* See ya guys! I’m gonna bomb the ninjas now! *leaves*

Tyler: And only TWO questions guys. Two of you just count as one. Sorry.

Anthon: Just one last set of dares before we get to our special announcement, and reply to a few comments here.

From Earthdude

'Umm first off I chose 1 because 2 is depressing and 3 kinda scares me. Anyway more dares:'

Dares

Nazz:Swim througha pool of fire.

Edd: Hmm,eat Kevin using a knife and fork.

Kevin: Go onto a trapeze over a pit of man-eating sharks onyour bycycle (wheels removed of course), and if you make it to the other side run around waving your arms screaming "HEAR ME BECAUSE I AM A BIRD!" After doing that for about 5 hours (No stopping or you get stabbed and are dead untill time is up), jump into the pit of fire featured in episode 4 and you can't leave until you say the Eds are awesome and you are a dork. After leaving, makeout with a rubber chicken ( from chapter 4) for an hour, and if you have survived all that (Or even if you've been revived a few times) you will be transferred into the Dead Rising (Videogame) universe where you will stay until you die a long and tourturous death, not a short and painless one. Phew that was long.

Tyler: Kill everyone... EVERYONE! Truths

Jimmy: Are you gay? Because I really can't figure it out.

Eddy: What is your favorite scam?

Ed: When was the first time you tasted gravy?

To everyone: (including Edfan, but not Antohn or Tyler) What is your favorite pizzatopping? Mines Anchovies!

Nazz: WHAT?! What have I ever done to you?!

Tyler: Nothing. You’re just a pretty background character in every episode.

Nazz: Was that a complement or an insult?

Anthon: WHO CARES?!?! *shoves her into the pool of fire*

Nazz: *burns and dies… of course*

Kevin: *reading dare* Why do you all hate me?


 * insert very long rant that would take about 602 words*

Kevin: Fine fine…

Tyler: Okay, first is the trapeze.

Kevin: *on his bicycle with wheels removed* I know this is going to end badly. Really badly… *attempts to do the trapeze, but falls into the pool of sharks anyways* AHH!!!

Tyler: Edfan765 isn’t here, so we can’t let you die now. *throws a can of “Shark eating piranhas. They eat sharks, but not humans!” into the water*

The Piranhas: *Have an epic battle with the sharks as Kevin escapes*

Kevin: *runs around waving arms* HEAR ME BECAUSE I’M A BIRD!!! HEAR ME BECAUSE I’M A BIRD!!! HEAR ME BECAUSE I’M A BIRD!!!

5 hours later…

Tyler: *taking off earmuffs* okay, now then… *pushes Kevin into the pit of fire*

Kevin: THE EDS ARE AWESOME! I’m… a dork…

Tyler: What?

Kevin: I’m a dork.

Tyler: Huh?

Kevin: I’m a dork!!

Anthon: duhwut?!

Kevin: I’M A DORK!!!

All but him: WHAT WAS THAT?!

Kevin: I’M A DORK!!!!!!!!!!!

Edfan765: *arrives to hear that* YES! FINALLY HE ADMITS IT!!

Meanwhile, in the ninja land…

Naruto is on fire… a lot.

Naruto: AHH!! I feel like there is an evil author who hates me…

Back in the studio

Edfan765: *pulls Kevin out of the pit* Make out with a rubber chicken.

Kevin: Screw you!! *kisses the rubber chicken featured on chapter 4*


 * 1 hour later*

Edfan765: Since you survived all of that in a miracle… *teleports Kevin to the Dead Rising Universe* send me a postcard!

Tyler: *arming a ton of machine guns* I need to spare Edfan765 or else no one’s gonna be revived.


 * one huge massacre later*

Edafn765: *erases Jimmy's mind* Okay, now he speaks english.

Jimmy: *polishing his nails pink* What? I’m not gay. *a pink girly hairpin falls out of his hair*

Everyone: *backs away from Jimmy*

Eddy: My favorite scam is the one that actually made me money!

Tyler: And that one is?

Eddy: *pauses for a moment* None of them! They all failed because of a certain numb-skull…

Edfan765: *reads Ed’s truth* Dude, when he was first born he was fed gravy!

Tyler: And then he bathed in gravy!

Anthon: He eats cereal and gravy!

Eddy: He eats gravy cakes!

Double D: He consumes pure gravy mix.

Sarah: He ate his own sponge collection after he accidentally dipped it in gravy!

Jonny: Plank says “He once tried to eat me after taking a swim in Ed’s bathtub”

Rolf: Rolf would rather him be locked in a cellar stuck with barrels of the meat-juice than him hug Rolf’s chickens!

May: He eats it with chicken!

Marie: He eats it with buttered toast!

Lee: He eats it, period.

Kevin: *stuck in the Dead Rising Universe* he’s the only dork who eats gravy! *gets slowly consumed by an unspeakable horror*

Jimmy: He… uhh… You guys took all the good gravy quotes!

Edfan765: Anyways, my favorite topping is pepperoni.

Ed: GRAVY!!

Double D: Of course it is Ed. Anyways, I would prefer plain more than anything else.

Eddy: Anchovies?! You are a sick, sick, sick dude I can tell you that! (No offense EarthDude) Mine’s pepperoni.

Jimmy: I like mine with pinapples.

Sarah: Pinapples for me.

Jonny: Anything that comes from Mother Nature is good enough for me!

The Kankers all at once: Extra cheese!

Nazz: I’d go with plain.

Rolf: Rolf knows nothing of this "pizza." Go away! Rolf must wash Nana's Pantaloons! *leaves*

Edfan765: Now to reply to a few comments:

Gears in Motion: Like a lot of cartoons and movies, they usually have running gags, where a joke is used constantly in different ways. Killing Kevin just happens to be ours. Besides, the authors love to kill him anyway.

Dnny By: … I shall not stoop to your level on cursing at you. Again, I’m letting you off on a warning. One more outbreak and you shall be blocked.

All of those who reviewed: I thank you all for reading the only major T/D fanfiction in Ed Edd n Eddy! Cookies for all!

Edfan765: Anyways, now is the game… Today’s contestants are: DOUBLE D! JIMMY! AND NAZZ!


 * again, the stage turns into game show blah blah blah.*

Edfan765: First question for Double D: Which state is Peach Creek in?

Double D: Colorado (he is a genius after all.)

Edfan765: CORRECT!! (as if he could get it wrong) You get a… plastic model of a skull!

Double D: Please continue on.

Anthon: Jimmy, how did the Kankers win Peach Creek?

Jimmy: Their ancestors won it in a poker game.

Tyler: Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to announce that in the first place. Anyways, you get a… makeup set? And Nazz, What is the name of the neighborhood that the Eds are trying to find on Halloween night?

Nazz: Umm… I remember Ed mentioning it after he incased me in a block of cement… I just can’t put my finger on it.

Edfan765: Oh forget it. Time’s up. We won’t do anything bad…

Nazz: I give up anyways. *leaves*

Edfan765: You tapped that bomb on her back?

Tyler: Hell yeah.


 * A loud explosion is heard from where Nazz left from*

Edfan765: Okay, Double D…

(Several hours later…)

Tyler: Who knew Jimmy’s intellect rivals Double D’s?

Anthon: Okay, Jimmy. What are Ed’s three biggest obsessions?

Jimmy: Gravy, buttered toast and… I-

Tyler: *Nukes him with Mr. Bang Bang* I just got bored. Anyways, Double D is our grand prize winner! With a new deluxe chemistry set! (You can now make exploding potions!)

Edfan765: And now… for the moment we have all been waiting for…

Tyler: ED OR DARE’S FIRST GUEST STAR!!

If you scrolled all the way down here, NO COOKIE FOR YOU!!

'''Luigi: 4 votes Robin: 3 votes Izzy: 3 votes Patrick: 3 votes Samus: 0 votes (I guess no one liked her)'''

Edfan765: So in our next episode, Luigi will be featured as our guest star, so you can dare and torture him. Thanks to the 13 people who voted!

Tyler: And remember, the next chapter won’t be up for a while, so please be patient.

Anthon: And that ends our explosive ending!

Edfan765: Also, I have updated a new guest star poll on my profile for chapter 10.

Everyone: Read us, then Dare us!

Meanwhile…

Kevin: HEY! I’m still being eaten by a freakin’ zombie!!

Edfan765: Hey guys, and welcome to Ed or Dare!

Tyler: We would like to say “Thanks you guys!” as a small token of gratitude for helping get to the 35 review/chapter 5/ over 30000 word mark!

'''Edfan765: Seriously. You guys rock! So anyways, Luigi belongs to Nintendo, while Ed, Edd n Eddy belong to AKA productions. I only own Tyler and Anthon, plus Rachel, Ryan, Krystal and Zoey who are mentioned.'''

Anthon: *licks an envelope*

Tyler: Uhh… what are you doing?

'''Anthon: My grandma wanted me to stay with her for Halloween incase “The Joker” Decides to go kidnap her. So I’m going to send a life sized dummy of myself instead! *stuffs a large Anthon model into the letter* I’ll be right back! *leaves to the post office*'''

Edfan765: So anyways, here we have the lean, green, plumber, the Super Smash Bros Veteran, Mario’s brother, LUIGI!!

'''Luigi: *appears out of a warp pipe* AHH!! There were boos down there!'''

Edfan765: Right… So, anyways you will be joining us for Ed or Dare today.

Luigi: Ed or what now?

Tyler: I’ll tell you later.

'''Anthon: *returning* OH MY GOD!! Hey Luigi! Can I have your autograph?'''

Edfan765: *anime sweatdrop* I forgot to tell you that he is a huge Luigi fan…

Tyler: Let’s just continue on!

Edfan765, Tyler, Anthon, Jonny, Ed, Eddy, and Luigi are in the lobby, telling Luigi the ropes around the place.

Edfan765: So the reviewers are going to dare you, and you just have to do it. Simple.

Luigi: Okay-a.

Anthon and Ed: *sitting excitedly next to Luigi*

Anthon: He said “Okay-a!” HE IS SO COOL!! *hugs Luigi*

Eddy: *facepalms* He’s hopeless…

Jonny: Hey, how come you made Anthon that way?

Edfan765: *shrugs* It was either that, or a hammer wielding freakazoid *hands him a picture of an Anthon with a toga and huge wooden hammer*

Jonny: Plank says “He’s not wearing any underwear!”

Edfan765: Anyways, just make sure that this is okay. If not, too bad. You have to be here anyways!

Luigi: *thinking* I really wished they let Samus do this…

Ed or Dare…

Edfan765: Welcome to ED OR DARE!! Now on this special episode, we have the guest star winner… LUIGI!!

Luigi pops out of a warp pipe and does a few front flips and shiny moves that pause to show the greatest passion. He lands professional, despite the fact that is something the real Luigi would be too afraid to do.

Audience: Ooooo…

Anthon, Ed, and Jonny: *whistling and clapping*

Luigi: *plops into a seat next to Edfan765* Thank you-all-a very much! *hands Edfan765 a piece of paper* First dares.

Edfan765: Alright then!

From Ultraman Nexus

'Your right, I need to brush up on my Ed, Edd, n Eddy knowledge. Amazing chapter by the way. Anywho…'

'Eds and Kankers Challenge each other to a Poke’mon battle. You all each have Metapods and Magikarps.'

Ed:Get into a fight with the chicken from Family Guy.

'Edd:Get’s the Evolthruster and temporarily get’s the power to transform into my superhero form, Ultraman Nexus. You get strength, energy projection, high endurance, flight and size change. But you can only stay active for 3 minutes at a time or you’ll die so watch it. Use the power to beat Ed and Eddy up, and anyone the author tells you to do.'

Eddy:

Kevin:Eat your hat, your bike, and Nazz’s hair and have the author post it on youtube as the follow up to the last video he posted.

Plank:Dress up as the Dark Knight Joker and say “Why so serious?”

Jimmy:Get Body slammed by a Snorlax, kneed by Captain Falcon, and then Flamethrowered by Charizard.

Rolf:Eat your own pig, Wilfred alive.

Marie:Be forced to drink a potion that changes you into Edd’s dreamgirl.

Edfan765: Nice ones. Thanks for the complement.

Eds: METAPOD, I CHOOSE YOU!

Kankers: MAGRIKARP, I CHOOSE YOU!

Epic Battle Begins!

'''Magikarp uses Splash! But nothing happens!'''

Edfan765: What’s the point of splashing?

Metapod uses Harden, but it failed!

Tyler: How do you fail in hardening?

'''Magikarp uses Splash! But nothing happens!'''

Edfan765: What’s the point of splashing?

Metapod uses Harden, but it failed!

Tyler: How do you fail in hardening?

'''Magikarp uses Splash! But nothing happens!'''

Edfan765: What’s the point of splashing?

Metapod uses Harden, but it failed!

Tyler: How do you fail in hardening?

Magikarp uses hyperbeam!

Edfan765: WHAT THE HELL?!?!

Metapod gets owned to the extreme!!

Epic Battle Ends

Kevin: *paying $5 bucks to Luigi* Damn you…

Ed: A chicken?!?! WHERE?!?!

Chicken from FG: YO YO! I’M HERE TO KICK YO (censor) (sorry, I don’t know how he acts or talks, so I’m just thinking about whatever a chicken from a PG-13 show would do…)

Ed: CHICKEN!! *hugs the Chicken to death*

Chicken: ACK! ACK! YO HAVN’T SEEN DA LAST O MEH!!! *dies, and suddenly sets on fire*

Double D: *blasts the other Eds* Now what?

Edfan765: Quickly, burn the Naruto Universe!

Double D: *leaves very fast like*

Eddy: What the Hell? There’s no dare!

Tyler: Typo maybe?

Eddy: YES!! *starts dancing* I don’t get tortured! I don’t get tortured! *A paper Airplane hits him in the head* WHAT THE HECK?!

Edfan765: Small message. He said he forgot your dare and this is it:

Dress up like Naruto and let Edfan765 beat the everliving snot out of him.

Eddy: OH COME ON!!

Tyler: *hands him a costume* Be brave Eddy!


 * One serious beating later involving a nuclear cannon…*

Edfan765: NOW THEN… *holds up a black eyeball with a red pupil*

Tyler: *gasp* Guys, hide! *everyone but Edfan765 and Eddy hide under a large conveniently placed box*

Nazz: Why are we hiding in here?

Anthon: *shivers* That Crimson Eyeball is Edfan765’s DEADLEST WEAPON!

A large GAH!!! Is heard.

Tyler: *lifts the box up, to see the entire studio destroyed and a mutilated Eddy on the ground with an innocent looking Edfan765.* Err… I think we should call a construction company…

One construction work, one revival, and a serious “Go Weegee!” taunt later…*

Kevin: *eats hat* Not bad… *eats bike, and barfs up a chain* YUCK! *eats Nazz’s hair, where she breaks his jaw*

Nazz: *gets out a red bandana and puts it on*

Edfan765: *uploaded the video already* 200 views in the first minute I had the video up?

Jonny: You only have 3 videos on it!

Edfan765: The first one already had 36,000 hits, and the second had 42,000.

Jonny: *paints The Joker’s costume on Plank* He said “Why so serious? NEAHAHAHAH!!”

Luigi: Don’t-a worry! I can call all of those guys. *snaps finger*

Snorlax: *comes crashing down the ceiling squishing Jimmy*

Captain Falcon: *comes out of the same warp pipe as Luigi* FALCOWN KNEE!! *knees Jimmy in the nuts*

Charizard: *comes out of the ground and flamethrows Jimmy.*

Jimmy: *Owned*

Edfan765: You guys are more than welcome to sit in the audience booth.

Rolf: *eats Wilfred* The salatonus sustenance! MUST HAVE MOARE!! *runs off to eat Naruto*

Marie: *drinks a pink potion* I feel… *her hair gets longer and be in a pony tail, suddenly gets regular glasses along with a lab, a biology textbook and is now talking in a scientific manner.* (requested by Ultraman)

Eddy: … Seriously Double D…

Marie: *winks at Double D, who smiles nervously*

Edfan765: *another paper airplane hits him in the head* This is Luigi’s dare, again from Ultraman Nexus.

Watch the Super Mario Bros Movie 10 times in a row along with the rest of the cul-de-sack kids.

Edfan765: I haven’t seen it… or the series.

Luigi: Are you kidding-a me? It’s the best thing ever!

*Ten Movie replays later…*

Tyler: *moaning* I think we had enough.

Nazz: I got tired after the 3rd time.

Edfan765: I lasted until number 5.

Ed: What?

Luigi: *jumping up and down* I never get tired of it!

Edfan765: Anyways, next ones from Kat and Nini.

Tyler: If you put that in an abbreviation, you get Kan!

From Kat and Nini

'Kat: Yes, Kevin, we hate you more than Eddy. Just to clear that up. Hehehe…'

'Nini: Many thanks to Edfan765 for understanding our (sometimes) evil ways. Anyways, here are some more truths and dares!'

'Truths: Ed and Jonny: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Double D: BE HONEST! Who is your most favorite girl in the universe? Nazz: Depending on how he answers, how would you respond to Double D’s answer to his truth question?'

'Dares: Anthon: Borrow Double D’s chemistry set and blow up any number of your least favorite universes. Tyler: Sing “I’m a Barbie Girl” (either the original or on the made-up lyrics) in front of everyone while dressed in a gown and tiara. Jimmy: Ugh, so many chores to do...How about some help? I'll let you do the easy ones today, which includes the following: Hand-feed raw steak to Kat's army of rabid kittens, polish the Mallet of Doom while avoiding the electrical shocks, run through the entire obstacle course of laser guns and chainsaws, and randomly killing off Kevin, Eddy, and the Kankers. Think you can handle that, Jimmy boy? ;)'

Kat: We’ll send the Questions in a PM this time to avoid cheating…Hey, Nini, aren’t we being a bit too easy on Kevin?

'Nini: Yeah, you’re right…Okay, the next time that Kevin is revived after this, Luigi can pwn his sorry butt. That’s all for now :)'

Edfan765: Hey, I made the T/D fiction because I was feeling evil that day. I’m feeling evil, you guys are feeling evil. We are all feeling evil to go ahead and torture the pre-teens here.

Ed: What?

Jonny: A lot!

Woodchuck: CRAP! HE KNOWZ! I MUST WARN TEH BRUDERS!! *runs away*

Double D: *looking at his question* Uhh… I- er- *notices that Sarah has a nuclear bomb, The Kankers all have Samurai Swords, and Nazz is holding up a Barney DVD* Wait, I think mother is calling me! *gets the hell outa there*

Nazz: As for my response: ATTACK!! *the five leave to go kill Double D*

Anthon: OH YES! *grabs Double D’s Chemistry set* Hmm… oh look at the label! “Now with 25 percent more amino acid. Acid is fun!” *leaves to the Barney universe and Naruto universe.

Edfan765: Luckily for me, I made nearly all of my OCs hate Naruto!

Tyler: Well, it looks like my reputation’s going down the drain.

Edfan765: *handing over the gown and tiara* This hurts me more than it hurts you.

Tyler: Why?

Edfan765: You’re my only OC who has any sanity left in them. *points at Anthon who is running around mad around the Naruto universe, Zoey riding a giraffe in England, Rachel in a gothlic rock band, and Krystal jumping off a cliff for “Who knows what” reason, and Ryan successfully doing a scam.*

Eddy: HEY! How come his scam worked?!

Tyler: Here goes nothing…

Edfan765: *quickly locks him in a closet* You seriously don’t want to hear him sing in a high pitched Barbie doll voice. Trust me…

Eddy: And why should we trust you?!

Edfan765: I created him. Unless- *shoves Eddy in the closet while he is screaming in pain*

Jimmy: Easy ones?!

Nazz: *with camera* This is so going on YouTube!

Edfan765: *also with a camera* Hell, this is going on international Television!

Double D: *arrives back in a body cast* My superhero form wore off while I was destroying the Naruto world. He beat me up afterwards. But I saw Anthon with my chemistry set.

Jimmy: *grabs a box of steaks coincidentally located right next to Edfan765 and feeds then to KAORK. However, he ends up with one less arm, one less leg, and an open stomach after the kittens attack him*

Nazz: Are you gonna like, help him?

Edfan765: I can’t. I can’t hurt Kitties.

Luigi: Why?

Edfan765: *opens up laptop and goes to *

Nazz: Ooh… that’s why.

Double D: Why on Earth would that cat dress up like a burrito?!

Jimmy: Help!!

Edfan765: Fine. *he and Eddy pull him out* Jimmy, polish the Mallet of Doom.

Jimmy: Can I have my limbs back?

Luigi: *fighting off the KAORK* Here! *throws them an arm, a leg, and duct tape*


 * One surgery later*

Jimmy: *slowly polishes the Hammer* Hey… I think I’m getting the hang of- *Kevin pushes him into the hammer to get electrocuted*

Jonny: *pushes Kevin in*

Anthon: *pushes Jonny in*

Double D: *pushes Anthon in, but fails in doing so and falls in*

Nazz: *pushes Anthon in*

The Kankers: *all push Nazz in*

Edfan765: *throws the Kankers in* Quit it! Sorry about the Mallet guys. But I think Kevin would leave you alone when he sees what the almighty hammer can do.

Jimmy: Is it over? *sees a huge obstacle course* OH COME ON!!


 * lots of zapping, slicing, bloody scenes, revivals, and crying later…*

Jimmy: *takes Mr. Bang Bang* How do I use this thing? *accidentally blows self up with it*

Kevin: *gulp* I don’t like this… *looks at Luigi, who is now wearing a larger boot*

From aquadragonsaiyan

'YAY! LUIGI TIME!! And I was hoping Sarah's going to be eaten alive by Necromorphs... Oh well! And yes, you can call me Aqua!'

Ed: *hands him a mega mushroom* Use the others as if they're dolls and play with them! ^w^

Eddy: Get volt tackled by Pikachu (may it be Ash's or the one from Smash Brothers one; you decide)

Kevin: Get owned by Sonic the Hedgehog when he uses his Final Smash!

Luigi: Use YOUR Final Smash and own everyone but the Author and his co-hosts.

Jimmy: Go back to the Ichimura and get killed again!

Sarah: Tag along with Jimmy!

Double D: *hands him a Keyblade* Go crazy with it.

And now... I wanted to ask them questions.

Sarah: Why do you threaten Ed so much? Do you really care about him?

Double D: Why do you wear that hat? Is there something under it that we shouldn't see?

Nazz: Who do you love?

Eh... That's it from me. Here's hoping you'll update soon!

Edfan765: Now that you mention it…

Sarah: *suddenly gets attacked by a Necromorph*

Edfan765: That was not me!

Nazz: Then who did that…?

MEANWHILE

Naruto: YES! Now that I have gotten that new jitsu mastered, I can summon blood-thirsty beings anytime I want! Now then… *looking at a TV* Which one of those are Edfan?

BACK IN THE STUDIO AGAIN…

Ed: Would you like some tea miss? *holds up a micro Nazz* ''of course Ed. You are so very… ''uh,*starts scratching head with Nazz, trying to think*

Nazz: STUPID! LET GO OF ME!

Edfan765: *strapped to a giant high-chair, on a giant table* I knew this was a bad idea…

Anthon: *being fed giant spoonfuls of gravy* Tell me about it…

At that very moment, Eddy (who is still in the closet, being tortured by Tyler’s singing) is attacked by a Pikachu!

Pikachu: PIKA!!

Eddy: AHH! *owned to the extreme*

Edfan765: That’s the same one from that maze a few chapters ago…

Luigi: *tap dancing on the table because Ed told him to* I know where I can get-a Sonic!


 * A warp pipe appears out of the table and a gold hedgehog comes out to ram into Kevin, sending him flying away… He goes right back into the warp pipe after seeing Edfan765*

Tyler: Why did he run away?

Edfan765: *grinning* I always torture him in someone else’s T/D fiction. It’s the same concept with Kevin.

Ed: *shrinks back to normal* Hi guys!

Jonny: *gnaws out of his rope and chair* Well then, I have a lot more chewing to do!

*lots of gnawing later…*

Tyler: Finally I’m out of there.

Luigi: Okay-a… but you people aren’t going to like it… *breaks a smashball and activates*

Ed is seen rewriting the very theory of gravity, Double D becomes a straight F- student, Eddy starts a non-profit organization that involves giving money to the homeless, Nazz becomes a goth, Kevin’s popular, Jonny becomes a wood hater and Plank… stays as Plank, while Rolf throws away all of his meat and starts talking in slang, and the Kankers HATE the Eds and are being nice to everyone. And worst of all: EVERYONE’S OUTLINES STOP SQUIGGLING!!

Edfan765: (unaffected whatsoever) wow… I thought it was supposed to make people dizzy-

Kevin: *becomes Dizzy*

Tyler: Grow a Poisoness flower on their head,s

Kevin: *grows a flower on his head*

Anthon: Fall asleep-

Kevin: Zzz…

Luigi: Trip uncontrollably,

Kevin: *trips over nothing*

All four: And numerous other side effects.

Kevin: *starts sleep-tripping and taunting in slow motion while becoming Dizzy, having a flower on his head, while shouting out random profanity while getting OWNED by Luigi’s simple taunts.*

Then, everyone turns back to normal, with Kevin dead.

Edfan765: *revives Kevin and gets a cannon ready* Sarah and Jimmy, you just won an all-expense paid trip to a space shuttle filled with zombies! We shall be arriving in 5 seconds! *shoves them into the cannon, aiming at the sky*

Anthon: FIRE IN THE HOLE!! *pulls the string on the cannon to make a loud BOOM!*

Edfan765: WAIT! Kevin got revived! Luigi, kick his butt!

Luigi: YAH! *owns Kevin’s butt to the extreme*

Double D: A keyblade? Why on earth would I need a keyblade?

Tyler: *sigh* He doesn’t understand the meaning of the word “Crazy”

Edfan765: Of course… Anyways, Sarah is currently in despose. So Double D, why do you wear a hat?

Double D: Do you really wish to see? *takes off hat, where his head is blurred out*

Edfan765: *his eyeballs melt out of their sockets* DAAH!!!

Tyler: *has a heart attack and seizure*

Anthon: *faints*

Everyone else besides the Eds: *insert seizures and numerous other medical problems*

Sarah and Jimmy: *fall from the sky, mutilated*

Double D: *puts the hat back on* There.

*several hospital trips and revivals later…*

Sarah: What are you talking about? ED! GET ME A SANDWICH!!

Ed: Okay baby sister! *leaves with his stupid happy grin*

Edfan765: Who cares? As long as Ed has that happy attitude, he won’t get angry at Sarah… Unless you are reading “Ed Abuse”

Nazz: I’m currently single.

Tyler: (Angered) Oh really? You seem to hit on me every chapter!

Nazz: And your point is?

Edfan765: Guys, don’t fight or else we are going to call… “Him” again.

From EarthDude

'Don't worry Edfan, I have no offence towards you. Edd, on the other hand...'

Dares

Nazz: Castarate Double D. SLowly.

Edd: Still want you to eat Kevin with a knife and a fork.

Luigi: Feed Mario to Bowser, then feed yourself to him.

Edfan: Read every Naruto fanfiction ever made. All of them.

Kevin: Bring me in, and let me at him. Boxing Match! And if I win, I get to keep his hat, and he can't have it back until Edfan says it's okay.

Eddy: SHOVE THAT PEPPORINI UP YOUR BUTT! VOTE ANCHOVIES! That is the dare too actually.

Jimmy: Tell Edfan Eye of The Dickie sucks, despite the fact it is one of the best songs ever made.

Eddy: Yes another! Now heres a million dollars. You can have it once you make out with Lee for as long as Edfan wants. If you fail this, you will only get 10 dollars, which Edfan will burn 9 of. But you get a dollar! Oh and the expenses are on Kevin.

Truth

Jonny: Who would you prefer: May or Marie?

Edfan: What do you hate Naruto?

Kevin: Who are you such an a**hole?

Plank: Johnny no answering! And we are going to wait until you answer. Now, who drew the eyes on you? No answering anyone else!

Questions

Sorry, don't feel like putting them in a PM?

When the Eds threw a chair through Kevin's window, what did they call themselves. (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat)

What does Jonny get stuck into everything with? (Answer: Hidden of course!)

Edfan765: *holding up a dictionary* There are 2 definitions. Number one: To remove the… um… a human neuter.

Everyone: *turning green*

Edfan765: And number two: To deprive of spirit. Please the latter before I barf…

Nazz: YOU SUCK!!!

Double D: Umm… I’m deprived of my spirit?

Edfan765: Sorry! I guess I forgot that dare. Anyways, Double D, eat the dorky one!

Eddy: *opens mouth*

Edfan765: NOT YOU!

Kevin: *crys* Why do you people hate me so much?!?!

Edfan765: You’re the least popular character of the show,

Tyler: You have a female voice actress

Anthon: And you just suck in general.

Luigi: SO DIE! *gives Double D the fork and knife*

*One very cannibalistic act later*

Double D: I hope you are all satisfied with yourselves!

Edfan765: *with a camcorder* HELL YEAH I AM!

Luigi: B-B-BOWSER?!?!

Mario: *coming out of a warp pipe* Why am I-a here? Why are you-a here?! WHO ARE YOU-A PEOPLE?!

Luigi: Long story. Let’s just get eaten Bowser then I’ll explain…

*Another very cannibalistic act later*

Luigi: I think you might as well be the next Fred.

Tyler: I know! I mean already 7,000 subscribers with 5 videos!

Edfan765: Hey, I couldn’t have done it without you guys… and the reviewers for torturing you all.

Eddy: *snickers* You have to read every last NARUTO fanfiction!!

Edfan765: WHAT?!?!

Tyler: And there are two hundred, twelve thousand, three hundred and twenty six of them (yes I counted... O_o)!

Edfan765: *groans* all of them?

Tyler: I’m afraid so...

Double D: That unfortunately includes, how they call it, “Yaoi” and “Yuri” fanfictions.

Edfan765: NOOOO!! *yells loud enough that the camera zooms out from the studio, then the state, then country, continent, world, galaxy, than universe*

Until Ed ripped off the universe poster on the wall.

Ed: We should of seen it coming… *sobs* Oh well! *shoves him into a closet with a computer*

Eddy: HA! And you have to read EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE!!! *locks door*

Kevin: Now I have to fight EarthDude? Piece of cake! I am the strongest after all!

Everyone: Lie.

Kevin: Shut up! *suddenly gets kicked in the back of his head by EarthDude*

Tyler: ONE TWO THREE! HE IS OUT! *gives EarthDude Kevin’s hat* And now… Eddy has to shove pepperoni up your butt.

Eddy: OH COME ON!! I can’t have a victorious moment two seconds?!

Anthon: NOPE! *shoves a stick of pepperoni up Eddy’s butt*

Eddy: HELP! *runs to the hospital to get it out*

*3 weeks later, for it is humanly impossible to read 212,326 fictions in less than 6 minutes*

Edfan765: *falls out of the closet* Naruto… Haki… Sakura… all… need die… yaoi bad… yuri even worse…

Tyler: *sadly shakes his head* I guess the majority of what he read was yaoi and yuri… poor author.

Jonny: *gulps* I know I’m going to regret this. Edfan, Eye of the Dickie SUCKS!

Edfan765: *too paralyzed to care*

Eddy: I HAVE TO MAKE OUT WITH LEE?! … I’ll do it for the money!

Lee: *grabs Eddy* Time for some, smoochin’! *forces Eddy to make out with her*

Double D: This author is having an epidemic seizure. Sorry Eddy, the dare said until he said to stop, and he is currently not responding.

Eddy: NOT FAIR! *gets kissed again*

*4 days later…*

Edfan765: Yaoi bad… Yuri worse…

*An additional 4 days later…*

Edfan765: Yaoi bad… Yuri worse…

*3 days and 24 hours later…*

Edfan765: Yaoi bad… Yuri-

Tyler: JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!

Edfan765: *getting up, completely normal* Fine.

Anthon: Hey! How come your not spazzing out?

Edfan765: I got over it after the first 3 days. I just wanted to see Eddy suffer. And I think it’s time to stop, because I am not an Eddy/Lee supporter.

Eddy: (covered in lipstick) FINALLY!! *kicks Lee away*

Edfan765: Congrats.

Anthon: *”Accidentally” drops a lit match onto the huge sack of money until it burns*

Eddy: *crying* W-Why does everything bad happen to me?!

Kevin: I feel your pain…

Edfan765: Holy crap! They are relating!

Tyler: *faints*

Jonny: *looks at May and Marie (who is still Double D’s dreamgirl)* Neither!

Double D: (to himself) Remember Eddward, she’s still a Kanker, and your mother said no dating…

Marie: *walks up to him with an attractive smile*

Double D: I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! *runs away*

Edfan765: The reason I hate Naruto? Well first of all, I have this fighting game on the computer where you can download characters from websites. Naruto is the cheapest character I have! His invincibility frames drive me nuts while his moves are overpowered, killing me all the time!

Tyler: He also dreads the Anime, and is grateful that it stopped.

Anthon: Besides, his voice is really annoying!

Edfan765: To top it off, one of my favorite flash games has him as a character, which I am FURIOUS about!

Luigi: Besides! He doesn’t come-a close to Weegee! (He always says his name “weegee”)

Kevin: … Harsh.

Eddy: Let’s just say Kevin’s a dork.

Plank: (again, only Jonny can understand) Jonny of course, ya ijit! (yes, Plank’s going to have an attitude for the fanfiction)

*A long amount of time later*

Jonny: Can I answer now…?

Edfan765: No. EarthDude said specifically “Johnny no answering!” Again, why does everyone misspell your name?

Tyler: Let’s just get on with the next dares while waiting for Plank’s answer…

Plank: YOU IDIOTS! I FREAKIN’ SAID JONNY!!

From lefthandliam1998

I'm sorry I didn't know i spelt Jonny wrong, or that you could not be dared to review crud, anyway, MAH DAYAHS!

EdFan765- Edfan, ZARK (Robot who is equipped with like, every weapon in the universe), ZARK, EdFan, ATTACK EDFAN765 ZARK!

Tyler- Jump into a pool of soda and wait for me as a giant to drink it! M.

Anthon- BEGIN DESTRUCTION OF EDFAN765'S CAR!

The Eds and Kankers- Be transported into a Tetris universe and dodge all of the blocks that fall until time on a stopwatch runs out

Sarah, Jimmy, Kevin, Jonny, and Nazz- Enter Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl and become the characters: Sarah-Veruca Jimmy-Charlie Kevin-Mike Jonny-Augustus Nazz-Violet

Rolf- Enter the Nintendo Universe and be the character in every video game until you die

Luigi-Act like Rolf, and, if possible, do not return to normal for the whole Fanfiction

Edfan765: No problem. I just hope my unrevealed OC doesn’t come and beat anyone from horrible use of grammer.

Tyler: I’ll come to your funeral. *run under the cardboard box again, along with everyone else*

Edfan765: What? *Zark appears, readying a giant laser cannon* AHH!!

Edfan jumped and dodged the laser Zark fired. The laser started following him. Edfan started running faster, dodging additional rockets. One rocket manages to hit him and he falls to the floor. Zark runs up to him, grabs him and flicks him into another wall, where they start some furious close-combat battle.

“Blinding Light!” Edfan yelled, his staff glowing a silvery color. In a flash like a giant camera, Zark was blinded, letting Edfan launch a painful kick in his face. With his eyes glowing red, Edfan followed up with a Explosion from his staff, a small red ball launching into Zark.

Zark wasn’t going to give in easily. His arm turned into a spinning blade as he threw it at Edfan. He followed up with many other missiles, lasers, and for some reason, throwing a basketball player at him. Edfan tried dodging as many as he could, but got hit from a missile, which was followed up by the basketball player kicking and punching Edfan DBZ style. He kicked Edfan away, where Zark laughed at him. “Pathetic human! Machines are the ultimate life-form!”

“CATCH!!” Anthon threw Mr. Bang Bang into the battle. Edfan765 jumped and caught it in slow-mo. He landed professionally, where he shot Zark a few times. The missiles created a ton of smoke. No one could see. Was it finally gone?

“NOPE!!”

“DAMMIT! I need more firepower!” Edfan muttered.

Suddenly, a roar was heard outside. A large gray monster crashed through the wall. It was Edzilla! He knocked Zark into the wall across the room. Captain MelonHead jumped out of no-where and threw a barrage of acorns at Zark. They landed next to Edfan, who was in fighting position.

That wasn’t all of the reinforcements! “BWAHAHA!!” An evil laughter filled the air. A supervillain crashed through the ceiling, sending money beams at Zark, hurting him. This was obviously Eddy in his Professor Scam outfit, as Edfan could easily recognize his underwear. Double D rolled in (literally) with a rolling pin-like machine (as seen in “Eds or Tails”) He got out a lawn-mower and ran over Zark, tearing out bits of metal.

The group assembled. Edfan, Captain Melonhead, Professor Scam, Edzilla, and Double D’s Rolling Pin Roader (that’s what I call it) were ready to finish him off.

Zark regained his conscious in time to see the 4 heroes (and 1 anti-hero, Professor Scam). He was ready.

He kicked Professor Scam up into the air as soon as he became close enough. Captain MelonHead was about to ram into him with Splinter, but Zark grabbed Splinter by the mop handle and swished MelonHead off. He used it to have a sword battle (only with staffs) with Edfan, while Edfan launched chewed up chunky puffs at Zark, and Double D took out the watering can. He poured it on Zark, making him rust.

“HA!” Edfan was about to destroy the robot with a powered up punch, but the robot suddenly broke through his rust coating and grabbed Edfan by his hand and threw him into Double D. Double D was hit, along with Edfan. Captain MelonHead came back. Only with an army of squirrels.

“ATTACK!”

The squirrels (which were gliding, because they were all flying squirrels) closed in on Zark. They leeched onto him. Zark desperately tried to shake them off. As soon as he did, Professor Scam came back on a his Flyer. It rammed into Zark. Angered, the robot deflected another chunky puff and grabbed Eddy by his non-existing neck.

He threw him into Captain MelonHead, where they were both bashed into the same wall Double D and Edfan were in. Edzilla roared, and started attacking Zark with his tentacles. Zark grabbed one, and flung him right into the same wall. All of them were hurt badly.

“I will make quick work of you.” He got a giant laser cannon ready.

“We need more firepower!” Edfan thought. At that moment, Luigi threw a smashball. “QUICK-A! BEFORE HE FINISHES CHARGING HIS LAZ-A!”

Edfan grinned. With his remaining strength, he jumped and crushed the smashball with his bare fist. Zark looked at Edfan, who was bruised, battered, and now glowing.

“LEGENDARY STRENGTH!!”

Edfan started glowing with a golden aura. His bruises and cuts healed instantly. His hair stood upward with sparks all around him and sparkles all over him. He made a grin of determination.

Zark fired a huge laser at Edfan. Edfan stood still. The laser went through him… But he was alive!

“Time to finish this!” Edfan dashed up to Zark with unbelievable speed. He launched a few fast, powerful punches as he kicked Zark into the air and jumped to follow him. He launched a few blasts of pure power out of his palms, hurting Zark badly.

“You’re Finished!” Time froze as Edfan charged his power laser in his palms. He started glowing even brighter, and he basically looking like he was being electrocuted without any pain. He unleashed a power beam that destroyed Zark completely with a tiny explosion in comparison to Edfan’s large colorful beam.

He finally landed. His hair started going back down and he stopped glowing. Everyone were open-mouthed. Edfan turned to normal and fell over, completely wiped out.

Tyler: We have a lot of cleaning up to do.

*One massive clean-up later!*

Tyler: A pool of soda?

Anthon: Yup! *pushes him into a kiddie pool filled with Sprite (insert copy-righted icon here)*

Tyler: What the- *gets swallowed by a giant lefthandliam1998*

Edfan765: Oh great, there goes my co-host.

Giant liam: *coughs up Tyler* Sorry…

Tyler: *hiccup* That was waaaaaa *hiccup* ayy too much soda *falls over*

Edfan765: I don’t have a car…

Anthon: Either way, *rips the wallpaper off a wall to reveal another swirling vortex* Eds and Kankers, play tetris until the timer of 6 hours runs out!

Eddy: SCREW YOU!

Edfan765: *pushes them all in and opens another portal* You five, into the portal or else… *holds up Mr. Bang Bang* You know what happens…

Sarah, Jimmy, Kevin, Jonny, and Nazz: *enters the portal while Rolf jumps into Luigi’s warp pipe*

Luigi: Umm… Okay. Ehem, Oho! Hallo there, half dead, half mediocre Ed-boys! Looks like little Jimmy Boy broke Nana’s Heart!

Nana (The Ice Climber): *pops out of the warp pipe Rolf just jumped into* LUIGI YOU ARE SO DEAD!

Luigi: ROLF MUST FLEE-A! *runs away with Nana following him with her hammer*

Edfan765: Next dares…

From aceman88

'I've never reviewed a truth or dare story before... But I think I got a few good ones to torture these guys'

Dares:

Ed- Get turned into a koopa and get beaten up by Luigi

Edd- Lick peanut butter off Ed's feet

Eddy- Walk through a pit of scorpions to retrieve a jawbreaker (Don't tell him the jawbreaker is filled with bees)

Kevin- Shove your bicycle up your butt

Rolf- Let Eddy beat to death with the giant fish from 'Dueling Eds'

Sarah- Your dolls come to life and rip you to pieces

Jimmy- Get kidnapped by rabid monkeys and forced into marriage with the monkey queen

Jonny- Make toothpicks out of Plank

Nazz- Have your hair eaten off by victor the goat

Lee- Yank May's buck teeth out with talons

May- Get revenge on Lee by flattening her with a steamroller

Marie- Dress in the girliest outfit you can find and sing 'On the good ship lollypop'.

Anthon & Tyler- Sing the Culture Club song 'Karma Chameleon', both dressed as Boy George

Edfan765- You sing 'Do you really want to hurt me', also dressed as Boy George

Luigi- Have your mustache yanked off by a bus

Truths:

Kevin & Jonny- What happened to your hair?

Rolf- How did you change back from a weiner in 'Quick shot Ed'?

Lee- Why don't your eyes ever show?

Edfan765: That’s completely fine. Considering this is the only Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy T/D fiction.

The Eds and Kankers come back, flat as pancakes, Kevin covered in chocolate, Nazz inflated and completely blue, Sarah with many squirrel bite marks, Jonny returning as normal, and Jimmy with a bag filled with Jawbreakers. Oh and Rolf came back in a body-bag.

Edfan765: I guess everything went well?

All of those mentioned: Yes.

Edfan765: I don’t think Luigi makes a good Rolf. You are free of your dare.

Ed: *jumps into his Koopa costume from who-knows-where* I’m ready Weegee!

Luigi: Yahh! *jumps on Ed’s koopa back for a long amount of time. However, Ed doesn’t get hurt so he just laughs and says “Do it more!”*

Double D: Why does everyone wish to see Ed’s more… disturbing features?

Luigi: *stops jumping* I’m beat. All yours-a, Sockhead!

Eddy: I could get used to this guy…

Ed: *takes off his shoe and sock while hurting himself by crashing into stuff in the process*

Double D: *gulp* Oh dear…

LICK!!

Double D: *dead*

Edfan765: *revives him* Okay Eddy, see that jawbreaker right in that pit of scorpions? Go get it!

Eddy: YEE-HAW!! *runs through it, seemingly unscratched and eats the jawbreaker* Huh? *spits out a ton of bees* AHH!!! *runs into the scorpion pit, where the scorpions actually start attacking him* HELP ME!! OUCH OUCH AWW!!!

Kevin: WHAT?! Come on! I already went to the hospital once!

Rolf: Rolf shall help, as he had shown up for the entire episode! *shoves Kevin’s bike up his butt and throws him out of a window, into a hospital*

Eddy: *gets revived and grabs a fish* Time for a battle, rolfy-boy!

Rolf: Ho-ho, Ed-boy! You have not yet met the… *takes Edfan765’s shoe* THE THREE SHOE BEATING OF THE COW!!

*One epic battle of Fish V.S. Three shoe beating of the Cow later*

Kevin: I have got to learn how to stop gambling… *gives Tyler 20 bucks*

Eddy: I WIN!

Edfan765: TAKE COVER! THE DOLLS COME ALIVE! *everyone but Sarah hide under the same cardboard box a few dares ago*

Sarah: AHH!! *gets shredded by Dolly Poo-poo, Mr. Yum Yum, a pink teddy bear, and a few other dolls*

Edfan765: Enough, Dolls! *his eyes glow blue, and with a small chant of “Conjuration!”, a timebomb appears right in front of him* EAT BOMB, ANIMALS! *throws it at them, which explodes*

Jimmy: AHH!! *monkeys kidnap him and a huge wedding ceremony begins*

Best Monkey (Best Man): Oo, ah ah! EE!!!

Monkey Queen: Oo, ah.

Best Monkey: E, E, Ah, ah?

Jimmy: NO!

All the monkeys: *maul Jimmy*

Jonny: *sniff* I’m sorry Plank!! *turns him into toothpicks thanks to a conviently place sawmill right next to him* WAHH!! *Sob sob sob, cry, sob, sniffle, sob, cry, cry, sob, sniffle, sniffle, cry, sob… you get the idea*

Nazz: My hair already got eaten my Kevin… *glares at him*

Edfan765: *gives her a hair formula*

Nazz: Thanks? *takes off her bandana and pours the formula. It makes her hair more longer and beautiful than before*

Victor: BAHH!! *eats Nazz’s newly grown hair*

Nazz: OWW!!!

*Insert May’s pain and suffering from severe tooth loss*

May: *runs a steamroller over Lee* And that’s what you get-

Anthon: WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART DIE!!- Oh, sorry. I guess I lost myself into a song again…

Edfan765: Ahh… Another song in that CD.

Marie: *gets a cute pink tank top and skirt out of a closet that everyone always gets locked into* err… *gag*

'''QUICK NOTE: If the song is real, I will not put the lyrics here, due to Copyright infringements, and I cannot take a chance. So just play the song and imagine the rest. Sorry!'''

Anthon and Tyler (dressed up as Boy George, mind you): *sings Karma Chameleon*

Edfan765 (also dressed up as Boy George): *sing Do you really want to hurt me*

Tyler: *handcuffs Luigi’s mustache and a emergency exit of a school bus and straps Luigi to a lightpost* Sorry, but a dare’s a dare.

Edfan765: *regretfully, floors it*

Luigi: *YANK!!* OWW!!

Kevin: What do you need to know about my hair?

Edfan765: Well, for Jonny it’s a little obvious. He just shaved his head.

Jonny: How did you know?

Edfan765: I have my sources… (closes another safe that has big bold letters that say “BABY PICTURES OF THE CUL-DE-SAC KIDS”

Tyler: This is a cartoon, remember? Anything can happen! Watch: *the studio suddenly explodes for no reason what-so-ever*

Edfan765: Oh great… Now we have to do the rest of the fiction in that abandon house over there. *points at the same house from the episode “Horror Thy Ed”*

*One setup later*

Tyler: As for why Lee’s eyes never show, it’s because she ashamed that everyone will find out that she has three eyes!

Anthon: But now everyone knows. That, and Lee’s hair is just in her way.

From EdEddEddyNYoshi

Ed: Stab all of Rolf's chickens...slowly.

Edd: Write and sing a love song on the pedal steer guitar to Marie (but is allowed to use another instrument, if he kisses Marie on the lips first.)

Eddy: Dress up like Conker The Squirrel (from Conker's Bad Fur Day) and make out with the nearest squirrel or chipmunk.

Jimmy: Set all of your stuffed animals on fire and watch them burn for 8 hours.

Sarah: Do the same as Jimmy.

Jonny: Turn Plank into chopsticks and watch everyone floss with them.

Kevin: Throw your bike and yourself into a pit full of Man and Bike eating Houndoom.

Rolf: Get tied up and thrown into a closet with the cursed phone until your next dare.

May: Let Lee and Marie give you an ugly hairdo and like it.

Lee: Get squashed by 100 Wailord.

Marie: Shoot Edd with Mr. Bang Bang in slow motion or you'll get eaten by a rabid Marie eating Skarmory.

Eddy(again): Stay in a nest full of Murkrow for 8 hours.

Luigi: Wear underwear on your head and scream: "Sonic rocks and Mario sucks!" until a Yoshi eats you.

Ed: *cries* No… I don wanna!! WAHH!!

Edfan765: *pats his back* Be strong.

Ed: *regretfully stabs Rolf’s chickens so slowly that it takes 3 days for him to finish stabbing them. *

Double D: Oh dear… *sweats, because Marie is still looking like Double D’s dream girl*

Anthon: Wether you love her or not-

Edfan765: You have to sing the love song anyways.

Double D: I know I will regret this.

*One surprisingly good love song later…*

Double D: (Trying to escape a hug and kiss from Marie) *thinking* Must refuse… to hug… Kanker…

Eddy: WHAT?!

Jonny: *holding up a squirrel* you can kiss him. He says he’s lonely.

Eddy: Grr… *dresses up in all fur, a blue jacket sneakers, and for some reason, a war helmet with 2 Light machine guns and makes out with the squirrel before shooting it in the head*

Sarah: Edfan already blew mine up.

Jimmy: NOO!!! *is forced to watch them burn for 8 hours… which mean the rest of the fanfiction!*

Jonny: Plank already got turned into toothpicks!

Edfan765: *with epic woodworking skills, repairs Plank, then turns him into chopsticks and flosses with them before cleaning them handing them to Eddy, who flosses and cleans them before handing them to Anthon, and so on*

Jonny: *spazzing out on the floor* Must resist urge… to… kill Plank abusers…

Kevin: Is this guy obsessed with Poke’mon? Because the next 4 dares involve one!

Edfan: *shrugs* either way, into the pit you go! *pushes Kevin into a conveniently placed Man and Bike-eating Houndoom pit* You forgot this! *throws his bike into the pit*

Double D: You people must check your facts once more. May had already gotten a hideous haircut in the episode “Ed Overboard”

May: Yeah! I still have ham in my hair! *takes a cold cut out of her hair*

Lee: What’s a Wail- *gets squished by a huge whale with two fines* lord…

Marie: I know I hurt him, but blast him into pieces?!

Double D: Honestly, how harsh!

Edfan765: It’s either that, or… *holds up the Skarmory* Which is it?

Marie: *looks at Double D, then the Skarmory, then Double D, then the Skarmory… you get the point. She does this for a while until* I’ll go with the Skarmory… *gets viciously eaten and mutilated so violently it makes Chuck Norris pee his pants (and make Jimmy die in fear)

Edfan765: *revives Jimmy* Next up… Eddy, stay in a nest of Murkrows.

Eddy: How bad can it be?

*3 seconds later*

Murkrows: MURKROW! MURKROW! MURKROW! MURKROW! MURKROW, NOOBZ! MURKROW!

Eddy: SHUT UP ALREADY!!

Luigi: *with underwear on his head* I don’t like this… SONIC ROCKS! MARIO SUCKS!

Yoshi: *jumps out of the warp pipe and eats Luigi* Yosh, Yosh, Yoshi! Yoooooooooooshi! (How dare you insult our own series you beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!)

Edfan: Okay, Last set! Weird how all of these were all sent on the same date.

From Easymac120

'Wow, next chapter's gonna be LONG unless you divide it in half! Anyways, more Ts and Ds:'

Truth: Luigi, are you, or were you ever, jealous of Mario?

Dares: -D: Present a speech in front of ALL your fangirls!
 * Chop down a tree, or else MR. BANG BANG!
 * Write a rap piece and perform it!
 * Edfan will turn Double-D into a frog, then you gotta kiss him to change him back!

Luigi: (voice muffled because he is being digested) I was for a while, until Nintendo-a came out-a with Luigi’s mansion! Now they are-a working on a Luigi’s Mansion 2! I feel so-a happy I could hug a tree!

Yoshi: *gags* ACK!!

Luigi: Sorry. I think I just hugged your liver.

Double D: Not good! I don’t have that many fangirls, right?

Edfan765: *opens a window to reveal an ocean of fangirls, all chanting Double D’s name* Tough luck.

Tyler: Sorry, bro. *pushes Double D into the crowd, who lands on a stage*

Double D: *gulp* I- *a large amount of fangirls attack him*

Marie: I’M COMING!! *jumps out of the window despite the fact the place was 6 stories high*

Jonny: NEVER! *gets blown to bits*

Everyone else: *WTF expressions*

Rolf: What? Can’t Rolf have a chance to sing?

Marie: *attacks Edfan before he can turn Double D into a frog* You won’t be able to- huh? *it’s really an authentic card-board cutout*

Edfan765: Wrong me! And I already turned Double D into frog. *points over at Double D*

Double D: *attempting to hop away from Marie*

Marie: *grabs Double D and kisses him, turning him back into… Double D*

Double D: *runs away before the Kanker can be an “influence” on him*

Edfan765: Luckily for you Dnny, I am a nice guy, so I’m not banishing you. Again, I leave people on warnings… But don’t worry. Just don’t insult me again… until then, I leave you will a smily face!

=)

Edfan765: Anyways, To the questions!

Tyler: Today’s contestants are… May, Marie and Rolf!


 * The entire studio flips upside down (literally) and turns into a gameshow*

Tyler: First question for May, “How many siblings does Double D have?” (Question from Kat and Nini)

May: *counting with fingers* none!

Anthon: *gives her a dead rose as a consultation prize* Next one for Marie: What job did Rolf want to be?

Marie: I could have sworn…

*flashback*

Edfan765: Rolf said he wanted to be a barber when he grows older.

Marie: And why are you telling me this?

Edfan765: *shrugs* Might come in handy.

*End flashback*

Marie: A barber!

Rolf: Yes, it true!

Edfan765: And the reward is… A picture of a piece of toast? *hands her the junk* Next question! For Rolf, “When the Eds threw a chair through Kevin’s window, what did they call themselves?”

Rolf: Da monkey girls!

Edfan765: Wow… what a failure. *pressing a button that ejects Rolf’s chair while he is screaming “MOMA! ROLF NEEDS A BANDAGE!!”*

Tyler: What does Jonny get his head stuck in everything with?

May: Who’s Jonny?

Edfan765: Exactly…

Anthon: Can we stop now? Halloween’s nearing and I want to get my costume!

Edfan765: Oh God, we forgot! Okay, Marie won the grand prize: A forced date with Double D.

Double D: Excuse me?

Marie: Come here, ovenmit!

Double D: *runs away, trying to ignore Marie’s looks*

Edfan765: *chuckles* Ahh… young love.

Tyler: If you mean “Girl chases Boy forcing him to go on date” than it’s hilarious!

Nazz: Yeah… *smiles seductively*

Tyler: *completely ignores*

Anthon: GOOD NIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!

Edfan765: *in a Scottish accent for no reason* Hello!

Tyler: This is Ed or Dare, obviously, and Edfan765 doesn’t own ANYTHING besides me, Anthon, and our new SURPRISE permanent co-host: Ryan.

'''*A short kid (but not as short as Eddy) with messy black hair enters the Disclaimer room. He wears a black shirt with a skull and crossbone on the front. He also has a pair of dark blue jeans with a belt with a skull-buckle. He appears to be really angry with Edfan*'''

'''Ryan: You idiot! It’s about the god-damn time you let me in a fiction! In Survival of the Edest you just make Tyler and Anthon reference me all the time.'''

Edfan765: Dude, relax!

Anthon: Silence before I stuff an onion up your nose!

Tyler: That’s something I would expect Ed to say.

Anthon: Well Edfan did base me off of Ed.

Edfan765: Yeah… so anyways, enjoy the chapter!

It was another usual morning. However, this time, a new face was in the place. Edfan was in front of his computer, while Ryan and Eddy are discussing about a scam. Tyler and Double D are relating on how dumb their partners are (Anthon and Ed). Ed and Anthon however, are playing an insane game of “Tic Tac Toe.”

Edfan765: So… Double D, how was that forced date last night?

Double D: It was okay I guess. Marie didn’t bother to go crazy and kiss me again. I was able to sneak away after the butler insulted her by accident.

Ryan: You do know that the first dare of the day is you fighting a big robot.

Edfan765: Don’t remind me.

Ed: Don’t worry me fan, you can always join the circus! They have potatoes there!

Anthon: And kitty litter!

Ryan: Whatever. Let’s just get this damn show started!

Tyler: … Seriously, who taught you how to curse so much?

Ed or Dare…

Tyler: Hey there, I’m Tyler,

Anthon: I’m Anthon!

Edfan765: And I’m Edfan765.

Tyler: We are having a new surprise co-host! He’s Edfan765’s “Mentioned many times” yet never seen before… RYAN DOUGLAS!!

Ryan: *was right next to him the whole time* You don’t have to yell so damn dramatically. I’m right next to you, idiot.

Edfan765: Okay… First dares please…

From lefthandliam1998

'Damn! How do you ALWAYS get around Zark, oh well *rebuilds ZARK*'

'EdFan765: ROUND 2 WITH ZARK! 300 FEET HIGH AND BLINDING LIGHT AND FIREPROOF'

Tyler: Eew, your taste is stuck in my mouth, anyway, TAKE A BATH IN AN ANNOYING SPONGEBOB INFESTED OCEAN!

'Anthon: Sing the Code LYOKO theme song in EdFan765’s way, Here is how it goes (Do not put these lyrics in the fic itself) Here We Are going far to save all that we love if we give what we’ve got we will make it through here we are like a star shining bright on your world today make e-vil go away! Code LYOKO we’ll reset it all code lyoko, be there when you call code lyoko we will stand real tall code lyoko strong-ger after all'

Ed: Fart your way to my profile and have sex with my half spider OC: Sirona

'Edd: Eat a million hot tamales all in one gulp and see if you can TAKE IT! :D'

Eddy: Meet my 9 year old brother and have a play date with him until EdFan765 comes in a time machine (Since you’ll be stuck in that room for a year) to get you, then donate money ($100) to the poor

Sarah: Shrink down to 1/16 of an inch and star that way for the remainder of the chapter

Jimmy: Since Sarah is only 1/16 of an inch high, crush her like the little BUG SHE IS!

Jonny: Work with Plank to create a Laboratory, then dip Plank in a vat of acid and eat him, you will be revived, but since Plank is just wood, you’ll need another plank of wood and pretend that Plank never died

Rolf: Buy an iPod

Kevin: Fall through a tunnel of spikes, fire, ice, seasoning, all to land on a canibal’s plate

Nazz: ** you for threatenning Edd with a Barney CD, now I dare you to listen to all of the tracks, full blast, THROUGH HEADPHONES!

Kankers: Join Sarah at small size and allow me to SQUEESH YOU!

Edfan765: *very quickly* IF I DIE, KEVIN AND THE KANKERS STAY AWAY FROM MY FUNERAL!

Giant Zark: RRRRAAAAAAAAAOOOOOORRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edfan765: *anime sweatdrop*

Ryan: Sucks balls to be you!

Edfan765: Don’t remind me.

Giant Zark: RAAOR!!! *eats Edfan765 in one gulp* BUUUURRP!

Ed: NOO!! ME FAN!!

Eddy: YAY! WE ARE FREE!!! Let’s get the Hell out-a here! *everyone but Edfan765’s OCs leave* I officially declare Ed or Dare 'CANCELED!!! 'So now we shall fill the rest of the fanfiction with, QUESTION MARKS!!!

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Meanwhile in Zark’s stomach…

Edfan765: DAMN! There’s no way out… *kicks a mechanical kidney*

???: I know-how you feel-a

Edfan765: W-Who’s there?!

???: My identity does not need to be known. But you have a bigger problem on your hands. Ed or Dare-a has-a been canceled. You must escape and defeat Zark-a in order to restore peace to the land!

Edfan765: In my case, chaos.

???: Yes yes… Anyways, I can lead you through this, step by step.

Edfan765: *pulling out Mr. Bang Bang from his pocket* I’ll just do this the easy way. *shoots Zark’s mechanical intestines* By the way, I know that was you Luigi.

Zark: *starts having constipation* HACK! GAG GAG COUGH!! *falls over, while Edfan crawls out of his mouth*

Edfan765: You don’t want to be in there. It’s smelly.

Tyler: QUICK! HELP ME SHOVE HIM IN THIS LARGE CARDBOARD BOX! *points at a REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY (several hundred REALLY’s later…) REALLY big box*

Everyone: *helps shove the unconscious Zark into the box, while Tyler puts a stamp on the package and catapults it to a post office*

Tyler: Alright!

Anthon: GROUP HUG!!

Everyone in the room: *remains silent*

Anthon: Uhh… never mind…

Edfan765: Okay, I think everyone left?

Luigi: *busting through the door, carrying all of the Cul-De-Sac kids on his back* Nope!

Edfan765: I thought you were eaten by a Yoshi that jumped back in to warp pipe.

Luigi: You left it open.

Edfan765: Thanks. Glad to see you again. As for you guys. *glares at the kids* You ripped up the contracts… but… *snaps his fingers, as Anthon comes in with a crane, holding LOTS of contracts* Interns always make a few copies. Anyways, continuing on.

Tyler: Well it’s not my fault if you decided to drink me! *jumps into the ocean to find Spongebob* Uhh hi?

Spongebob: WE HAVE COME TO HAUNT YOU! FOREVA!!!!

Tyler: I’m surrounded by aquatic idiots.

Anthon: Okay!

''Here We are eating tar to save all that one dove if we give what we’ve got we will make some glue here we are like a bar shining lighter on your world for days make dinner go away! Code SPAGHETTI we’ll ingest it all Code SPAGHETTI kicking Kevin’s balls Code SPAGHETTI we will sit real tall Code SPAGHETTI evil-er after all!''

Edfan765: *looking at Ed’s dare* Woah! That’s a little too far! I mean he’s only going to middle school!

Ryan: But a dare’s a dare… as always. *hands Ed a can of “Explodo beans” before hiding in “The shelter” (that cardboard box will be called “The Shelter” from now on)* TO THE SHELTER!!

Ed: *farts all the way to lefthanliam’s profile*

Edfan765: *shivers* Ed’s going to be a dad at 13 years old? That’s just wrong!

Double D: A-a- A million?!?!

Ryan: I guess so… *shoves one into Double D’s mouth, before his head bursts into flames*

Edfan765: *revives Double D* We’re going to be here for a while…

*999,999 more head explosions and revivals later…*

Edfan765: *falls down from wearing self out* Never. Again.

Eddy: Is he easy to scam?

Edfan765: If I had a sword, I would hit you in the head with its hilt. *kicks him (literally) out* Now… how far are we from time machine technology?

Double D: *calculating* Seven hundred and forty-two years. *points at a non functional laser beam*

Edfan765: *kicks the laser firer* CURSE YOU TIME MACHINE!

Double D: Make that Seven hundred and sixty nine years.


 * Seven Hundred and sixty nine years later*

Edfan765: (surprisingly unchanged from age) Good thing I found that fountain of youth 6 hundred years ago. Anyways, are we ready?

Double D: (Also unchanged) And now… *fires the laser beam at a corner, where a 12-year old Eddy comes out*

Eddy: Woah.. what happened while I was gone?

Edfan765: (sweatdrop) Let’s just go back in time…

(One extremely weird time paradox later…)

Eddy: NOOO!!


 * one large donation to the poor later…*

Sarah: *shrinks* What the?

Jimmy: *steps on Sarah, only to break his foot* OW!!

Edfan765: Seriously, that’s getting old.

Jonny: I already had a laboratory. TO THE MELON CAVE!!! *leaves*

The sound of acid dipping, gobbling, one revival, redrawing and sobbing is heard from the direction Jonny went.

Jonny: *comes back* Hey guys. This is Plank number 2!

Rolf: What is this, iPod?

Edfan765: *gives him some money* just ask for the small flat thing, over there. *points at a convenience store*

Kevin: *suddenly on a conveyer belt* What the… *gets squished by spikes, fire is poured on him, Ice is poured on him, and then seasoning.* I Don- *lands on a cannibal’s plate* AHH!! *runs*

Cannibal: NOOO! MUH DINNAH!!! *chases after him*

Edfan765: *secretly puts a Barney CD into Rolf’s new MP3 player* Here Nazz. Listen to it. FULL BLAST THROUGH HEADPHONES!


 * One head explosion and revival later*

Edfan765: Okay… we have got to stop killing the cast… I’m going to get wiped out soon.

Kankers: *shrink*

Edfan765: *takes out cell phone* Yeah, liam- *Liam appears, and SQEESHES the Kankers into a bloodied mess and disappears…* Sorry about your shoe.

Ryan: Next dares.

From Ultraman Nexus

'A brick? For me? Okay. ‘throws it at Kevin’ Awesome new chapter, can’t get enough of this. And with that in mind let’s see how I top myself this time.'

Ed:Watch a thousand pounds of gravy being burned right in front of him.

'Edd:Be forced to drink yet another potion that turns you into a bishounen. (in anime land, this means a pretty boy who usually gets a lot of fangirls usually I think) It also makes the girls turn into squeling fangirls and makes them madly in love with you.'

'Eddy:Here’s something new. Call your big brother on the phone and tell him that he’s a pug faced, impotent, **, ugly, limb noodle of a brother and the real reason he left home was that he kicked out for a failed attempt at prositution. '

'Kevin:Run around in his underwear yelling,”I’m a big fat ugly doofus! (Ultraman Nexus’s request: Change it to Dork) Efan765 will record that and put it on youtube.'

'Nazz:Eat pig poop, you hear me right, PIG POP and have Edfan765 record that and put it on Youtube. hehe, Fred won’t be able to compete with this.'

Jonny:Call Plank and ugly piece of wood and throw him away.

Marie:Still in dreamgirl mode, pretend to really dislike Edd, calling him a foolish boy or an ignoramus.

Lee:Be turned into a boy to see how different you look and then be turned back to normal to have Eddy kick you in the face.

May:Sing the japansese first Pokemon theme song.

Sarah:Be captured by a Pokeball and have Eddy rattle you inside it as much as he likes.

'Anthony or Tyler:Use the Naruto attack “A thousand years of death on one of the girls. What is this attack you ask? It is basically shoving your finger’s as hard as freaking possible up a person’s butt sending the person flying with horrible constipation problems. One of you can do that, or both can do it on Edfan765.'

Truths:

'Edd:Tell the truth, if you had a choice to either save Nazz or Marie, who would you choose? ‘cough’ ‘Marie’'

'Eddy: Why the heck are those jawbreakers in the show so huge? Are they only in that size, or are there realistic sizes?'

Kevin: *gets hit in the head from the brick* OW!

Edfan765: Gravy is liquid… It’ll just take out the fire.

Tyler: Let’s just find out. *pushes 6 bathtubs filled with gravy into the studio and throws lighters into each of them* … Well, I guess that solves-

NUKE!!!


 * One extreme clean-up later…*

Edfan765: Double D already has a lot of screaming fangirls. *opens a window to reveal an entire ocean of fangirls trying to break into the studio* Oh well. *shoves the purple potion in Double D’s mouth*

Double D: *gets rock hard abs and becomes all sexy and stuff* OH NO!! *jumps out of the window, with the Tiny Kankers, Nazz, and Tiny Sarah following*

Eddy: *steals Edfan765’s phone* Yeah… Hey bro, I just want to tell you that you’re a... *takes a look at his dare* pug face… impotent, beep, ugly, limb noodle of… a brother… and the real reason you left home was because you were kicked out for failing prostitution!

Eddy’s brother: *His entire body is blurred out, so the movie will not be spoiled* DIE YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A BROTHER!! *throws him into a pit of spikes*

Ryan: You can stay in the audience booth.

Kevin: *gets his undies pulled over his head* I AM A BIG FAT UGLY DORK!

Edfan765: Sorry, you said “I am” not “I’m” Take 2

Kevin: I’M A BIG FAT UGLY DOOFUS!

Edfan765: No, it’s Dork, not doofus. Take 3

(several minutes later)

Kevin: I AM A UGLY BIG FAT DORK!

Edfan765: Nope… Take 12…

(half an hour later)

Kevin: EDFAN’s A BIG FAT UGLY DORK!

Edfan765: Hey! Take 64…

(several hours later)

Kevin: I’M A BIG FAT UGLY DORK!

Edfan765: Sorry, I had the lens cap on.

Kevin: DAMN YOU!!

Edfan765: Haha… oh sorry… Take 342


 * 5245 more failed tries later…*

Edfan765: Okay… Now that that’s done,

Edfan765: Oh yeah. Guys, we need bait so we can fish Double D and the girls out. What do we have?

Tyler: An encyclopedia for Double D, a picture of the Double D for Marie, a picture of Ed for May, a ship in a bottle for Lee, perfume for Nazz, and… I got nothing for Sarah.

Edfan765: Okay…

(One excellent fishing day later)

Ryan: How the hell did you catch actual fish in a fangirl sea?!

Edfan765: *shrugs* I don’t know myself.

Ed: *farts all the way back to the studio* I love tuna! *eats all of the fish Edfan caught*

Nazz: WHAT?!

Edfan765: Okay… pig pop is a soda that tastes like pig crap, so… *holds up pig pop (“Now with 30% more crappy taste!”), and a bag of Pig doo* which will it be?

*CENSORED, FOR THIS CONTENT IS JUST PLAIN DISTURBING, SO WE DECIDED TO HOST A COMMERCIAL BRAKE INSTEAD!*

Ed: *banging head against a table* LOTSA LOTSA LOTSA LOTSA LOTSA *gets hit in the head by a brick and falls over*

'''Eddy: *appears out of nowhere* U FAIL. *disappears, and reappears in front of the table Ed was just at* HEY KIDZ! Are you bored? Eat CHEF BOYARDICKIE!'''

'''Ed: *playing a banjo* NACHOS! I REALLY WANTA SOMEA NACHOZ!'''

'''Eddy: U FAIL AGAIN! *Bob the Builder’s head squeeshes Ed*'''

Kevin: THIS CONTENT IS JUST PLAIN STRANGE!!!

QUICK NOTE: I made that while I was sugar high… *wheeeeeee*

Edfan765: That was pointless. And that Nazz video was just removed for having disturbing content. Oh well.

Nazz: *brushing tongue with LOTS of soap, water, dishwash, bleach, Clorox (Despite the fact it is highly poisonous to humans), and several other cleaning products.

Jonny: Plank number 2? *throws plank into the woods filled with “Plank eating werewolves”* Ugly piece of wood! Plank number 3 is way better than him anyway! *holds up another Plank, only his tongue is sticking out*

Marie: How can I insult… him? *points at Double D, who is still all sexy*

Edfan765: *facepalms* Okay then, *blast Double D with a ray gun*

Double D: *turns normal*

Marie: HOW DARE YOU! *attacks Edfan, who just flicks her off with a certain CRIMSON EYEBALL!!*

Edfan765: *threateningly holds up* WHO WANT’S TO LOOK IN THE EYE NEXT?! COME ON! COME ON!! Just try me…

Ed: I do! *stares into the eye, which makes him burst into flames*

Ryan: Talk about flamers.

Edfan765: *revives Marie and Ed* Okay, we wasted too much time on that dare, so just do it.

Marie: *kicks Double D* IGNORAMUS!

Edfan765: I don’t have any genderswapping weapon and/or spell.

Ryan: *holds up a genderswapping gun* Use this.

Eddy: Where did you-

Ryan: Stole it.

Edfan765: From who?

Ryan: Some girl that looked like a Pikachu.

Edfan765:… right… *shoots Lee*

Lee: *turns into a boy… use your imagination* What the hell? *looks into a mirror, and Edfan shoots him again*

Eddy: SHYUKEN! *Kicks Lee’s face*

Announcer: '''KO! Eddy wins!'''

May: *sings the Japanese Poke’mon theme song* (Remember, I will not put the lyrics of a normal song down. It just eats up a lot of the fanfiction)

Rolf: What is a band?

Edfan765: *gives him the “cursed” phone*

Rolf: SLAVOOR!!

Edfan765: Whoops. *takes it away and gives him a normal phone*

A long mouthy foreign language argument via phone later…

Rolf: Rolf HAGGA MORSLAVANEVEER GOO! *throws the phone into a wall*

Eddy: GO POKE’MON BATTLE!!

*CENSORED, FOR THIS CONTENT IS JUST PLAIN DISTURBING, SO WE DECIDED TO HOST A COMMERCIAL BRAKE INSTEAD!*

Ed: *banging head against a table* LOTSA LOTSA LOTSA LOTSA LOTSA *gets hit in the head by a brick and falls over*

'''Eddy: *appears out of nowhere* U FAIL. *disappears, and reappears in front of the table Ed was just at* HEY KIDZ! Are you bored? Eat CHEF BOYARDICKIE!'''

'''Ed: *playing a banjo* NACHOS! I REALLY WANTA SOMEA NACHOZ!'''

'''Eddy: U FAIL AGAIN! *Bob the Builder’s head squeeshes Ed*'''

Kevin: THIS CONTENT IS JUST PLAIN STRANGE!!!

QUICK NOTE: I made that while I was sugar high… *wheeeeeee*

Edfan765: That was pointless. And that Nazz video was just removed for having disturbing content. Oh well.

Nazz: *brushing tongue with LOTS of soap, water, dishwash, bleach, Clorox (Despite the fact it is highly poisonous to humans), and several other cleaning products.

Jonny: Plank number 2? *throws plank into the woods filled with “Plank eating werewolves”* Ugly piece of wood! Plank number 3 is way better than him anyway! *holds up another Plank, only his tongue is sticking out*

WARNING: This Battle contains mayonnaise

Eddy encounters wild Sarah!

Go, Ed!

'''What will Ed Do? Attack-- Item Run'''

'''Gravy Throw Buttered Toast Transformation Cookie Dough Throw-- Mayonase Clobber'''

Ed uses Cookie Dough Throw!

Not very effective

'''Sarah loses 21 HP. Sarah is paralyzed!'''

Sarah is paralyzed this turn!

'''What will Ed Do? Attack-- Item Run'''

'''Gravy Throw Buttered Toast Transformation-- Cookie Dough Throw Mayonase Clobber '''

Ed uses Buttered Toast Transformation!

'''Ed’s Defense increased sharply! Ed’s Offense increased sharply! Ed’s Speed increased slightly!'''

Sarah uses Rapid Punch

It hits three times!

Ed loses 11 HP.

Sarah’s paralyzation wares off.

'''What will Ed Do? Attack-- Item Run'''

'''Gravy Throw Buttered Toast Transformation Cookie Dough Throw Mayonnaise Clobber --'''

Ed throws some mayonnaise at Sarah!

'''Sarah takes 5 damage. Sarah is poisoned!'''

Sarah uses Seismic Toss!

'''Ed loses 26 damage! It was super effective! Ed is confused!'''

What will Ed do?

'''Attack Item -- Run'''

'''Poke’ball-- Super potion Rocket Launcher A Copy of Edfan’s Evil Eyeball SPAGHETTI!'''

… Sarah got captured!

Give a nickname to Captured Sarah?

'''Yes-- No'''

Which Nickname?

DickHead

Eddy: *shakes the poke’ball to EPIC proportions*

Anthon: My name’s Anthon… But you can call me Anthony!

Tyler:… Right, this is where I write my will.

Kankers: *each hold up very sharp objects*

Nazz: *holds up more Barney DVDs*

Edfan765: *holding up Mr. Bang Bang in one hand and The Evil Eyeball in the other*

Tyler: *sweatdrop* Today is the day I die… again.

Anthon: O_O AHH!!! *runs out of the building*

Aww man… This scene is just not right!

Tyler and Anthon: *seen dead on the floor… being burned*

Edfan: We don’t even know who they used the 1000 years of Death on.

Nazz: Don’t remind us…

Ryan: HAHAHA!!

Double D: I guess I would go with Marie, ONLY because she refused to go attack me during the forced date…

Edfan: *revives Tyler and Anthon* Denial.

Double D: No!

Ryan: Denial.

Double D: Stop!

The other Eds & Jonny: Denial.

Double D: Please stop!

Everyone else: DENIAL!!

Double D: *sigh*

Edfan: I can answer Eddy’s question. Well, in the show, jawbreakers only come in that size. And actually, I heard a company had invented a jawbreaker called the MAMMOTH JAWBREAKER. They are even BIGGER than the EEnE jawbreakers, the size of pool balls. And best of all, they’re only Two bucks and Twenty two cents in The United Kingdom… FOR THREE OF THEM!! That means each of the are only about 77 cents each!

Everyone: O_O

Edfan: What? I can’t act smart anymore? We have to have more than one geneius. *points at Double D*

A Paper airplane hits Kevin in the head

Edfan: Another PM from Ultraman. Another dare.

All the cul-de-sac kids: Get strapped onto a giant spinning wheel for me to use a target practice for my new energy arrow attack.

Edfan: Yep… arrows are fun. *straps the cul-de-sac kids and Eds to a spinning wheel with the help of Tyler, Anthon, and Ryan*

Ultraman Nexus: *appears out of nowhere* Archery practice time!

'''*Ooo…. That’s gotta hurt…*'''

Edfan765: That looks like it hurt. *revives all of the kids and Eds*

Ultraman Nexus: Huge success! *leaves*

From Kat and Nini

'Kat: Ha, that was great! See, Jimmy, now you know how hard it is to be an author even with those easy tasks. Yes, easy!'

'Nini: This time we won’t have as many truths or dares. We’re feeling lazy, and Halloween is coming up, so here they are!'

Truths:

Everyone (including Edfan765, Tyler, and Anthon): What would YOU do for Klondike bar?

Dares:

'Kankers: (Kat uses Mallet of Doom to multiply given brick 100x) Feel the wrath of raining bricks! Kevin: We need a test dummy for the new upgrade on our Mallet of Doom. Less noise, more zap…and you’ll be zapped. Nazz: Get run over by a speeding train, and it has to be a real train. We just feel like it. Ed: Kat’s army of rabid kittens are still hungry and need something to satisfy their tummies. Find them something more suitable to eat before they start devouring everything in sight! Double D: (Nini’s Dare) Because Kat does not want to torture you, I’ll take charge. Dress like a French maid and do anyone’s bidding when they ask. Eddy: You will be visited by a gang of vampires and have your blood sucked out by all of them.'

Kat: RAGE!!

'Nini: Sorry, Kat, I had to give Double D something to do…Okay, so if he is ever assaulted by anyone (namely Kevin) while wearing the maid outfit, Kat shall kill them dead. Nobody wants that, trust me.'

Jimmy: EASY?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!

Edfan: That depends, original, Krunchy, Dark chocolate, Health, Reese’s, Oreo, Double Chocolate, Triple Chocolate, Neapolitan, Whitehouse Cherry, or 100 calorie? I personally go with the Oreo. Anyways, I’m not a huge fan of chocolate, so I wouldn’t really do much, ‘cause their only like a buck.

Tyler: Unfortunately, the Eds and the other kids are from an… “alternative Universe,” where there are no brand names (other than Chunky Puffs) so they don’t know what a Klondike bar is. However, like Edfan I’m not a big fan of chocolate. However for Anthon…

Anthon: GIMMIE GIMMIE! I NEEDZ THE CHOCOLATE ICECREAM BAR THINGIE! I KILLZ EVERYONE ON THE PLANET FOR ONE!!

Everyone: *steps away from Anthon*

Lee: AHH! TO THE BRICK SHELTER! *points at the cardboard box*

Kankers: *pelted to death*

Kevin: I know this is going to end badly…

Edfan: Well apparently no one cares about you, so *Uses Ed like a baseball bat and smashes him to Kat and Nini’s profile*

Nazz: A train? Well there aren’t any train tra- *gets run over by a speeding train* acks.

Ed: Fear not Kat’s army of Rabid Kittens, or the KAORK! As, I Ed, will get you the ultimate Buffet! *leaves, and 1 second later comes back with shrimps, cheezburgers, and Milk and feeds the food to the Kittens* One for you, and one for you, and one for you, and one for you…

Double D: I do not find this entertaining.

Edfan: Too bad, maid. *gives him the maid attire* Now then…

*5 seconds later*

The studio is transformed into a 5 star luxurious resort, with a HUGE pool and everyone’s most wanted desires

Double D: Remind me how this happened all in five seconds?

Jonny: *in his swimming trunks, swimming* Plank says the world will never know.

Edfan: Anyways, Eddy, get eaten by the undead one!

Eddy: NO! YOU CAN’T TAKE ME ALIVE!!

Vampire 1: Oh yes we can…

Vampire 2: Prepare to have your blood sucked out of your veins!

Vampire 3 and 4: EAT THE SHORT ONE!

Eddy: *gets his blood sucked out, and transforms into a vampire*

Eddy vampire: That was stupid… But now let’s suck the blood out of all the others!

Edfan: *arming a bulb of garlic* TO THE VAMPIRE SHELTER! *throws it at Vampire 3*

Edfan, Ryan, Ed, Marie, May, Jonny, Plank, and Kevin make it to the Vampire shelter, which is of course, the cardboard box.

Edfan: Luckily for us, it smells like garlic.

Jonny: Plank says we should defeat the vampires with a large amount of steaks.

Edfan: All in favor of making Kevin do it say “I”

Everyone but Kevin: I

Kevin: NOT FAIR! *gets thrown outside with a wooden steak* AHH!!! *get’s his blood sucked out*

Edfan: … not good.

Ed: Don’t worry guys, as I AM- *spins around so fast no one can see him change.* LUTHAR THE BARBARIAN! As I shall defeat these Vampire Overlords with the help of the ALL MIGHTY STEAK! *takes a steak out of his pants like in the Halloween special*

Ryan: Right… *throws him outside*

Edfan: I better go in too… *runs outside, to see Ed in a furious battle with Vampire 1, a vampire Eddy and Double D* Dang! *charges up an orange blast, that makes fangirls appear out of nowhere*

Fangirls: AHH!! Vampire Double D is sooooo ''HOT!!! ''*attack the vampire Double D*

Edfan: Conjuration! *a few hundred bulbs of garlic appear next to him* Guys, come out here and pelt these undead!

Survivors: *start throwing the garlic bulbs until all of the vampires are dead*

Edfan: Okay… random vampire invasion… what’s next? *revives everyone*

Kevin: I don’t know but I blame *notices the last part of the review*- Myself! That’s right! *punches self in the face*

From Earthdude

Yay, now I have a souvenir “Holds up Kevin’s hat.” And great fight scene by the way Edfan765.

Dares

'Kevin: Eat the brick Edfan gave me. And break some teeth while your at it.'

Plank: Stay in a secluded room with beavers and woodpeckers for three hours.

'Kevin: Ladies and Gentlemen it is time for the WHEEL OF DEATH! Here is how the game works. Strap Kevin to a roulette and throw a knife at it. The death sequence it lands on is how he dies, and if it hurts or kills him (revive him in that situation)that’s just a bonus. Jimmy is our thrower.'

May: Stab and punch yourself repeatably.

'Lee: I’m still in the mood for a fight. So a super smash brothers brawl battle. DIBS ON POKE TRAINER! I get your third eye if a win. Then, after eye removal, Eddy gets to blow you up with Mr. Bang Bang. If I lose… Kevin can blow me up with Mr. Bang Bang.'

Edfan765: Now… play ever Naruto game for 2 days straight each.

'Everyone (Besides Our Hosts)- The grim reaper is here… with his scythe. Run for your lives! As for our hosts, just sit down with a soda and some popcorn and watch the chaos unfold. This will end when Edfan765 says so.'

'Nazz: Rats, she cheated the system. OK then, here is a immortality potion. Now you have to make out with Sheldon the cheese until Tyler calls it off. The potion will were off after your done.'

Tyler: Go on a date with Nazz, and Edfan765 can video tape it for his Youtube channel.

Truth

'Everyone: What do you prefer? The cool, perfect, delicious Coca- Cola? Or… Pepsi. You must tell the truth and anyone the chooses Pepsi shall be tortured by myself, and I have maces.'

Everyone (Besides Edfan): What is your opinion of Edfan765

Questions

'What is plank made out of? (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat!)'

'Who has the most fangirls from the Ed Edd n Eddy universe? (it’s so obvious.)'

Kevin: Gimmie back my hat, man! *gets hit in the head by another brick* Who threw that?!

Earthdude: ME! Now eat the brick!

Kevin: Do I have to?

Edfan: No. *gets out a cam corder* now you can do it.

Kevin: *bites the brick. The brick cracks. Then twice. But suddenly all of Kevin’s teeth brake*

Jonny: NO! Not Plank number 3!!

Tyler: *snatches it out of Jonny’s arms and throws it into the empty room… only it is filled with beavers and woodpeckers* Oh well.

Jonny: Plank number 4, here he is! *same as the first, only his eyes are purple*

Kevin: Again?!

Edfan: Today’s death sequences are…

The knife: Stab Kevin to Death.

The lighter: Set Kevin on Fire!

The Horse: He gets dragged across pavement by a very fast horse.

A picture of several superheros: The heroes of my unreleased fiction will OWN Kevin!

A Crossbone: Kevin will catch a deadly virus that causes numerous medical problems.

'''The picture of a random 5 year old girl: GENDERSWAP!! And then forced to sing “I want my cuppy cake”'''

The Picture of Naruto: Dress up like Naruto and walk up to Edfan and wait to be obliterated.

Tyler: And let the game begin!

The dart lands on…

THE PICTURE OF THE RANDOM 5 YEAR OLD GIRL!!

Kevin: NOO!! *gets turned into a five year old girl* I don’t like you, you meanie!

Tyler: SING, WOMAN! SING!!

Kevin: I want my cuppy cake-

Ryan: SHUDDAP! *blasts her with Mr. Bang Bang*

Edfan: *turns Kevin back to normal and revives* Okay… May-

May: *already dead with a sword next to her*

Eddy: What is going on?

Lee: A game? You’re on!

*One serious ownage later…*

Earthdude: *holding up an eye* Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to use a Jigglypuff.

Lee: *BOOM!*

Eddy: WEEW! I’m having fun right now!

Edfan: Grr… I guess I can sorta live with that… As long Naruto’s the one who keeps dying! *starts off with a fighting game, where he totally OWNS Naruto*

Grim Reaper: Hello there, stupid kids! I’m here to reap your immortal souls! DIE ALL OF YOU!

One huge Grim Reaper massacre later

Edfan: *still playing* It’s only been 3 minutes. He works fast. Okay, you’re done.

Tyler: *sets up Edfan’s camera set* Okay, let’s do this. The Youtube limit is about 7 minutes, so kiss the cheese for 7 minutes straight!

*Seven minutes of CheesexNazz romance later…*

Ryan: Weird. You just invented a new paring.

Tyler: … that’s… interesting.

Nazz: Come on! *drags Tyler away by hand*

Edfan: Okay, small brake to record this.

Anthon: Meanwhile, let’s find out who likes the coca, and who likes the Pepsi!

Everyone: Coca-cola

Ryan: Hey! Kevin, you lied! I saw him drink a few cans of Pepsi the other day.

Kevin: DAAAAAAAAAAMMMMNNNNNNNNN YYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUU AALLL!!!!!!

Ryan: Shut up and die!

*One extreme torturing by maces later*

Ed: Wow… Look at the bloodied mess!

Anthon: Well, Edfan isn’t here, so you guys are going to be lucky. These are the opinions.

'''Ed: He’s my bestest buddy ever! Besides Eddy and Double D…'''

Double D: He does enjoy the pain and humiliation of others, and I do not really approve of that.

Eddy: He should go to Hell!

Jonny: He’s okay, and a good friend, right Plank number 4?

'''Rolf: Rolf does not wish to take part in this juvenile ceremony! Hello, good-bye.'''

Sarah: I hate him.

Jimmy: He’s mean!

Kevin: HE MUST FREAKING DIE!!!!

'''May: He’s okay. He doesn’t really pay much attention to me.'''

Marie: I could care less.

'''Lee: He hates me more than my sisters! That’s just not right!'''

Nazz: *arriving* He’s alright I guess.

Edfan: Hahaha! I can’t believe you flipped the waiter over all because he bumped into Tyler! Hahaha!

Tyler: *facepalms* I could really use a vacation.

From Easymac120

'Hey, Zoe and Rachel are MY charaters. But that’s cool, I’m glad you read my Teen Series! Could you review it?'

'Dares: (First, un-shrink Sarah and the Kankers) 1)Girls- Say hello to my OC Paul! *Paul comes* Girls, get into your swimsuits and do sexy poses in front of Paul until Edfan says that’s enough. Then feel free to attack Paul, if you can catch him first(he’s a ridiculously fast runner). If you don’t catch him by the time the other dares finish, don’t worry, because my OC Rachel will come and take Paul away to punish him (readers of the Teen Series will know what I mean by this). 2)Eddy- BECOME THE PIGEON MAN! 3)Kevin- Within 30 seconds, destroy your bike, skateboard, then apologize to everyone for being such a douche. Or else Ultraman Nexus, Aqua, KAORK, Mr. Bang Bang, and my OC Jenna will OWN OWN OWN you. Don’t worry, Jenna will give you a little kiss afterwards, then she’ll join the girls in chasing Paul. 4)Jimmy- sing “Jimmy’s World” (a parody of Elmo’s World”), or else Mr. BRICK BRICK!'

To Earthdude: Coca Cola ROCKS!

Edfan: Yeah, I did see it. Very good, but a little mature in my opinion to be Teen, but it’s your story, not mine. Anyways-

Paul: *enters through a door* Hey guys!

Edfan: By the way, considering him being from the Teen series, thus making him 4 years older than most of the characters here plus with his perverted nature and that will ultimately lead to…

Ed: RANDOM SITUATIONS!!! (Note to Easymac120: I couldn’t really think of any original lines that Paul would say, so I’m just using a few from the teen series)

*One perverted act later*

Paul: *running away from Nazz, Sarah, the Kankers, and for some reason a lot of raccoons (female raccoons)* THAT ALL YOU GOT HMM?!

Nazz: YOU ARE SOO DEAD!!!

Edfan: *kicks open the front door so the girls chase Paul outside*

Eddy: *comes out of the bathroom in a pigeon costume* I was ready. I AM PIGEON MAN! I shall save you, helpless kitty! *flaps wings to get to a kitten in a tree* Don’t worry citizen! For I am- *gets attacked by said kitten* AH!!!

Kevin: Thirty seconds?! AHH!! *takes a hammer to destroy his bike, but it breaks along with the bike* (19 seconds left) I have a skateboard?!

Edfan: *hands him one* Now you do! (15 seconds)

Kevin: *throws it into Ed’s mouth and takes Mr. Bang Bang to blow his snowboard up* (3 seconds left) I’M So- (times up)

Ultraman Nexus, Aqua, KAORK, Mr. Bang Bang, and Jenna: ATTACK!!

*One epic ownage, revival, and small kiss later*

Jenna: Now I have to go chase Paul too. *leaves to destroy said Easymac OC*

Jimmy: *gulp* I go with Mr. Brick Brick. I didn’t really survive the last time I sang Jimmy’s World…

FLASHBACK

Jimmy: Jimmy’s- *gets a ton of tomatoes thrown at him*

Flashback ends

Jimmy: *a giant brick SQEESHES Jimmy*

Edfan: *quickly hands Jenna Mr. Bang Bang* Please chase Paul out of this studio, stage right.

From aquadragonsayian

'I’M BACK! *elbows Kevin on the back of his head, knocking him out*'

The Eds: All of you go sugar high and drive everyone in the studio crazy!

Jonny: Pop your bones and make Rolf’s animals to stampede and trample Kevin, Sarah, and Jimmy.

'Edfan: Can I borrow Mr. Bang Bang and blast Sarah? Oh, and for the dare… Ah-hah! *hands him an eyepatch – Xigbar’s eyepatch that is -* Wear this (p.s. Xigber came from Kingdom Hearts II; look up his picture on deviantart for details)'

Kevin: Get burned by Bowser’s fire breath.

Sarah and Jimmy: Get eaten by a Hollow (it’s from an anime/manga called Bleach)

Demyx: (My muse) Anything else you want to dare them Aqua?

'Aqua: …Nope. That’s about it… Update soon plz!!'

Kevin: *KOed*

Edfan: *throws three SUPER ULTRA MEGA MONSTER sugary jawbreaks at the Eds*

Eddy: WOOHOO! Thank you! Finally my luck is turning!

The Eds: *eat*

Ed: ZUGAR ZUGAR ZUGAR!! WOOHOO!! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”!

Double D: EVEN I CANNOT CONTAIN MY SUGAR BUZZ!! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”!

Eddy: ZUGAR!! I LOVEZTHIS!! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”!

Edfan: *bashing head against wall* MAKE- IT- STOP!!!

Tyler: *covering ears* I CAN’T TAKE IT! *jumps out a window*

Anthon: What? I don’t really get it. Infact… SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”! SAMEASTHELETTER”Y”!

*One Sugar Buzz and 53522 “SAMEASTHELETTERY!” later (Cookie to anyone who can figure out what their saying))

Jonny: *Twists and CRACKS!*

Rolf: Luckily for Rolf his animals are not here! *Easymac’s Teen Series’s bull, Julian charges through the wall along with many other animals and run over Kevin, Sarah, and Jimmy* Oh well.

Edfan: Sure. *hands her a copy of Mr. Bang Bang* Luckily my cloning machine is functional. And thanks for the eyepatch. *gets hit in the back of the head by another paper airplane*

'''Oh, I forgot to mention: Xigbar hates it when someone steals his eyepatch. So have fun with him! ^w^'''

Edfan: CRAP! He looks vicious!

*Several brutal beatings, 17 massacres (Of only Edfan), 29 slicings, and a nuclear missile later…*

Xigbar: *holding the eyepatch lovingly* My precious… *disappears*

Edfan: *dead…*

Tyler: Looks like we can’t revive anyone until the end of the chapter, so Kevin: Get burnt by the turtle! Luckily, the warp pipe is STILL open.

Bowser: *jumps out of the warp pipe* HRAGH!! BURN DORKY! *flamethrows Kevin to a crisp* Huge success! *jumps back into the pipe*

Sarah and Jimmy: NOT GOOD! *Chomp, Chomp Bite, Digest*

Tyler: So much for them.

Ryan: Damn Right! Last dares here.

From EdEddEddyNYoshi

Oops, I haven’t seen Ed Overboard for a while so I must have forgot that May had that hairdo already.

'Truths: Kevin: Why do you love your bike so much? Jimmy: Why are you always hanging with Sarah and Nazz?'

Dares:

'Everyone except EdFan: Swallow time bombs that will explode at the end of the chapter or the beginning of the next chapter. (You decide.)'

Sorry, I’m fresh out of dares for now but I’ll try to think of more for the next chapter.

Ryan: No worries.

Kevin: It’s the only thing that actually likes me now.

Tyler: *kicks Kevin* So true. As for Jimmy, he’s really young, and a lot of the things everyone else does, doesn’t really appeal Jimmy.

Ryan: That, and he’s a wuss.

Tyler: Eat time bombs?!

Ed: *eats his*

Tyler: We don’t have a choice anyway.

Everyone: *eats their time bombs*

Tyler: Well, time for the game show.

Anthon: Today, we feature Lee, Eddy, and Jimmy! (who is still dead)

Tyler: First question for Lee From Kat and Nini: On Valentine’s Day, who did Eddy fall in love with when he was hit with Cupid’s Arrow?

Lee: That piece of wood.

Edfan: *suddenly comes back to life* YAOI BAD! *Anti-Yaoi blasts Eddy and Plank (request from Kat and Nini* Anyways, why does Kevin hate the Eds, Jimmy?

Jimmy: *still dead*

Edfan: Well?

Jimmy: *still dead*

Anthon: TIMES UP! *jimmy’s chair ejects and makes his dead body land in China!* Eddy, who has the most fangirls from the EEnE universe?

Eddy: Isn’t it obvious? Double D.

Ryan: What is Plank made out of?

Lee: Wood.

Tyler: WRONG! It’s PURE EVIL! *ejects Lee’s chair that sends her to Jupiter!*

Anthon: The grand prize is 10 dollars!

Eddy: YES! MAMMOTH JAWBREAKER HERE I COME! *runs away, only to explode with everyone else besides Edfan*

Edfan: Wow… I have a lot of cleaning up to do… Well, as I clean up this mess, I say, see ya next time.

Edfan: Welcome to Ed or Dare!

Anthon: I am thinking about fish.

Ryan: And in a bizzare accident involving Ed and 15 pounds of cheese, Anthon lost an additional 40 brain cells.

Anthon: People wear socks.

'''Tyler: Yeah… Edfan doesn’t own anything except for Me, Ryan and Anthon. Ed Edd n Eddy belongs to AKA productions'''

'''Ryan: Sue him, and you’ll wake up tomorrow with me and Mr. Bang Bang. So just continue on with the Fiction.'''

The entire crew was at the 5-star resort, thanks to Nini’s dare last chapter.

Edfan: *with sunglasses on, getting a tan next to the swimming pool* Remind me to send a thank you note to Kat and Nini.

Ed: I’ll do it! *grabs a letter that says “thnk u katt nd ninii forr thee reesrt. Frum Ed.” and shoves it into a post box* All done!

Tyler: Okay, 4 to 5324! *serves the volleyball, where it slams Kevin in his face* Make that 4 to 5325!

Kevin: Not fair! *gets another brick thrown at him* HEY! Who threw that?!

Ryan: *whistling innocently while standing next to a cannon that says “BRICK LAUNCHER 3000”*

Edfan: Well, I say we do the next chapter from this resort, considering its in five- four- three- two- Hello There, and welcome to Ed or Dare, the only Truth or Dare show staring the Eds!

Tyler: Today we begin our show from a classic reviewer, Ultraman Nexus!

From Ultraman Nexus

'Ah, that was good target practice training. Hmm, maybe I need to think out my dares more closely. Now…'

Edd:Propose to Marie and have a wedding in Japan with Captain Falcon as your best man, a female Pikachu as the maid of honor, and with me as the priest who will wed you and Marie.

'Ed:Be transported to a void where there is no chicken or gravy. There is nothing to eat there but brocoli and prune juice. Stay there for three years and come out. And with that, no chicken and no gravy will make Ed crazy.'

Kevin:Be given Naruto’s horrible English voice for the rest of the chapter.

'Eddy:Be forced to watch Kevin enjoying twelve jawbreaker’s at a time. But neither of them know that the jawbreaker’s are filled inside with Ed’s boogers. Then get a real job by being Edfan’s money boy.'

'Edfan:Watch the English version of Naruto Shippuden on Disney xd. That or apologize to Kevin for everything’s that’s happened to him so far.'

'Anthony, Ryan, and Tyler:Each of you must kiss one of the girls. (Except for Marie, she’s married)'

'Nazz:You must hate me for forcing you to eat pig poop? Well, let me make it up to you. Drink a potion that makes you extremely ugly.'

'Marie:Get kidnapped by Godzilla and Edd must save you by transforminf into his superhero form to beat him. Afterwards, give him a hero’s reward.'

All the culdesack kids, what would you do for a klondike bar?

Truth’s

'Edd:Aside from being able to have the power of Ultraman Nexus, which superhero would you prefer to be? Spider-man, Superman, or Batman'

'Plank:Have you ever considered being with a woman? Cause I know this Elk tree who would love to out with you.'

Edfan: Umm… I think Double D’s dare is a little… how should I say…

Anthon: COMPLETELY WACKED UP!!

Edfan: ... yeah, what he said. Oh well, a dare’s a dare. *an old-fashion cannon out from the pool* Next stop: Japan! *shoves Marie and Double D in the cannon* Here we go… *Shoots it in the sky* Thank you for flying the Expolodo Airlines!

MEANWHILE

C. Falcon: I really don’t care about the wedding, but what the hell, as long as I get paid.

Pikachu: I hear you.

Ultraman: SILENCE!

A random guy in the audience: *Crying uncontrollably* Sorry… *sob* I just get so emotional at weddings…

Ultraman: That’s a bit obvious.

The random guy: *Floods the entire church with his emotional tears*

BACK AT THE RESORT

Edfan: Next up: Ed must be sent to… a place called “The void filled with broccoli and prune juice”

Ed: NO CHICKEN OR GRAVY?!?!

Edfan: Sorry Ed. *pushes him into a portal after tearing some wallpaper off the wall* Oh well. Luckily for us, Double D has a time machine… and a fountain of youth…

THREE YEARS LATER

Ed: (looking very boney, for he is now a skeleton) I need chickens…

Edfan: Oh boy…

ANOTHER EXTREMELY WEIRD TIME PARADOX LATER

Kevin’s voice actress: What?! I’m being replaced? This is not cool! You can’t replace me! I QUIT!

Naruto’s voice actor: Okay…

Kevin: (with Naruto’s voice) NOOO!!!

Edfan: DIE FOOL! *tortures Kevin by attaching him to a giant penny and rolling him down Mt. Everest*

Tyler: Isn’t Mt. Everest on the other side of the globe?

Eddy: WHAT?!

Kevin: MINE! *SLOWLY eats the jawbreakers, and suddenly dies from Ed’s boogers… ew…*

Edfan: Cool! Okay, money boy… get me a sundae… *revives Kevin* And I had no idea Disney XD had Naruto on it. Grr… my two most hated things in the world…

Tyler: *gets hit in the head with a paper airplane* OW! Hey, it says a third option is “Have a Yu-Gi-Oh Card battle with Ultraman”

Edfan: I go with the latter.

Ultraman: *appears out of nowhere* I heard that last sentence!

Both: IT’S TIME TO DUEL!

Ultraman: I go first. *draws card* I play Ancient Rules, which allows me to special summon a level 5 or higher monster! I summon Dark Magician! (He already has 4 pieces of Exodia in his hand… Edfan is toast…)

Edfan: I shall totally own you with the Ultimate Blue Eyes White Dragon! (I really do have that card)

Bystanders (AKA: The other kids): Duhwut?!

Edfan: *summons 3 Blue Eyes White Dragons, and a polymerization*

Dark Magician: WAIT! I HAVE LIFE INSURANCE! *gets owned, while Ultraman loses 2500 life points*

Kevin: HA! He got owned!

Ultraman: Why you little… that tears it, FACE THE WRATH OF MY SINNOH STARTERS! *throws three poke’balls*

Edfan: And no one insults the reviewers, including you, Dork! *Throws a piece of Bacon at Kevin* FACE ULTIMATE ARTERY CLOGGING GOODNESS!!

Kevin: NOO! *turns really fat as soon as the bacon hits him*

The pokeballs: *Poke’mon come out and totally OWN Kevin to the extreme!*

Ultraman: Thanks guys! *sends them back* Didn’t you just summon 4 monsters in one turn?

Edfan: Yeah, so?

Ultraman: *angered* That’s against the rules!

Edfan: Screw the rules I have money!

Ultraman: Money? All the money here just gets burned, destroyed, taken away, or blown up in some hilarious manner, like this: *steals Mr. Bang Bang from Anthon and blows up an conveniently placed pile of cash*

Edfan: Uhh… I have a Mohawk!

Ultraman: No you don’t.

Edfan: SCREW THE RULES! NOW DRAW YOUR LAST PATHETIC CARD BEFORE I COMPLETELY OBLITERATE YOU WITH A BARNEY DVD!! (yes, he’s going mental currently =P)

Ultraman: My grandpa’s deck has no sucky cards, cause he doesn’t even have one, and this is my real deck. I use this in tournaments, but enough about the deck. I DRAW THE UNSTOPPABLE EXO- *looks at the card* !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haha! Just kidding! It’s the unstoppable Exodia! (yes, Ultraman really has Exodia)

Edfan: NOEZ! It’s impossible! Not even the greatest duelist of all time has summoned him!

Tyler: (in the crowd) Yugi already did in the anime.

Edfan: Well I don’t watch it because 4kids dubbed it. But it is still impossible to get.

Ultraman: Really? It only took me 9 years to get all the pieces.

Edfan: Nope, it’s because the game rarely makes any sense.

Ultraman: Either way, EXODIA, OBLITERATE!!!


 * Edfan and his giant merciful dragon gets owned to the extreme. Edfan becomes seriously unconscious.*

Kevin: *who is still alive for some reason* OWNED AGAIN! *gets owned by Ultraman’s poke’mon again*

Ultraman: *takes 2 items from his pocket and throws them on Edfan and disappears.

A little bit of time later

Edfan: What happened…?

Tyler: He left, but he gave you something to remember him by.

Edfan: Really? *looks down to see a half eaten klondike bar and a smirking picture of Ultraman on it with the words “This is a Naruto Abridged reference…… BELIEVE IT!!” NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Ryan: TRIPLE OWNED!

Edfan: Screw you! *gets the cannon ready and shoots the klondike bar at Ultraman’s profile* And you have to kiss one of the girls. You too Anthon, Tyler.

Ryan: Who wants Nazz? *Takes Tyler’s arm and shoves it in the air* And we have a volunteer!

Tyler: Damn you, Ryan!

Nazz: *grabs Tyler by the arm*

Tyler: *tries to get away* Help me!

Ryan: No way! This is gold! *holds up a camcorder*

Anthon: Oh well! *makes out with May, who kicks him*

May: Why did Ed have to marry someone else?!

Edfan: And now for the next segment: We make Nazz ugly with the use of a single potion! *takes a remote out, and does an iCarly parody* Now then, our “Shover down the throat” will be Jonny 2x4!

Jonny: Okay Sir Mr. Edfan Sir! *shoves it down Nazz’s throat painfully*

Nazz: *her hair turns bald, her manicures mean nothing as her nails reduce, her eyelashes disappear and numerous other ugly side effects* AHH!!!

Everyone: *steps a good 20 feet away from her*

Nazz: *cries uncontrollably*

Tyler: Crybaby.

MEANWHILE IN TOKYO

Godzilla: *with Marie in his right hand* RRRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRR! *cough cough* sorry…

Double D: *with the powers of Ultraman* LET GO OF MY WIFE THAT HAS BEEN FORCABLY WED TO ME VIA A DARE IN A REALITY SHOW! *owns Godzilla to the extreme with a peanut*

BACK AT THE RESORT

Edfan: *another another paper airplane smacks him in the head* ow… anyways, he changed the last sentence to “What would you do for a million dollars?”

Tyler: Let’s start with Ed.

Ed: What is a money?

Edfan: And Double D is still with Marie.

Eddy: (Isn’t it obvious?)

Kevin: I’ll do anything, just to make sure I’m richer than Eddy!

Eddy: I’ll kill you later!

Nazz: *sniffle, sob, sob, cry ect*

Jonny: Anything as long as it doesn’t kill me! I can use the money to make sure that people spell my name “Jonny”!

Sarah: Whatever…

Jimmy: That depends, will I get a rash?

Edfan: *facepalms*

Rolf: Since when was the money of the old country so low?! I already have amillion old country dollars! *brings a bag out of nowhere filled with pennies*

Edfan: currently Double D is- *Double D crashes from the sky with Marie in his arms* Nevermind. Which superhero would you prefer to be, Spiderman, Superman, or Batman?

Double D: Can I answer that question later…? I’m a little busy here-

Tyler: Spiderman it is!

Plank: *again, only you guys and Jonny can hear him* I do feel lonely at times. I guess… *gets abducted by a tree*

Jonny: NOEZ! I’ll SAVE YOU FROM BEING (censored)!!! *runs after him*

Edfan: Let’s hurry this up, I have rematch with Ultraman later!

From Kat and Nini

'Kat: Heheh, yeah Kevin, that’s what I thought…Another amazing chapter! Let’s see what other torture we have for the other players…'

Dares:

'Ryan- Okay, so we want to get to know you better. Tell us your whole life story in only five sentences.'

'Edfan765, Tyler, and Anthon- Dress up like gummy bears and run around while singing the Gummy Bears song (from the TV series or something). Watch out for the KAORK, they like sweets.'

'Rolf- Try a bottle of V8 vegetable juice. (or just any kind of vegetable juice). If he doesn’t drink it…*tosses bottle at Rolf’s head*'

'Double D- (Nini) I hope you enjoyed being a maid because NOW you have to dress up like a cat! (Kat: NINI! Oh, wait, this is good! :D) Oh, and let Kat give you a hug and pet you.'

'Jimmy- Since you’re complaining about my easy chores, you now get to do my harder ones! You have to battle the annoying Mary Sues of the Netherworld, survive the flaming Reviews of Death, and write a 1 million word essay about how awesome Edfan765 and all of the other authors are with NO BREAKS! Then tell us how much harder these tasks are, right?'

Nini: What, nothing for Kevin or Eddy?

'Kat: Hmm…Oh yeah! *pounds them with Mallet of Doom ten times each* Thanks for being my test dummies!'

Edfan: Thanks for the compliment. Now Ryan, TELL US YOUR LIFE STORY!!

Ryan: When I was created, Edfan gave me a bad attitude and crap. (sentence 1) My dad was a complete paranoid weirdo. (sentence 2) I ran away to go live in the resort at this place. (sentence 3) I already knew Tyler and the idiot for some reason. (sentence 4, *glares at Edfan*) And now I think Edfan’s a dick. (last sentence)

Edfan: And now he is always against me… Just think of him as a semi-gothlic version of Kevin who doesn’t get beat up for every minute of his life.

Tyler: My sanity will be gone by sundown. *puts on a green gummy bear costume*

Anthon: This is just as weird as the doll that actually craps and urinates! *the word urinates plays over again in slow-motion to parody F-backwardsR-ED*

Edfan: Oh well… *dresses up as a yellow gummi-bear*

*An embarrassing act, mauling from the KAORK, and regurgitation later*

Edfan: Ouch… *puts back his right arm on* I’m suing someone later…

Dr. Phil: *appearing out of nowhere* I TOLD YOU I WOULD BE BACK!!

Edfan: *blasts him with Mr. Bang Bang* I’m going to need lawyer, but not you.

Rolf: NOO!! THE JUICINESS OF THE CARROT IS TOO GREAT FOR ROLF!! *dies at the very word, vegetable, and a bottle thrown by Kat hits him in the head*

Ed: Thank you! I hope you got my letter! *eats one of the gravy cakes*

Double D: I do not enjoy being a maid, being a slave to everyone! And being a cat would be just plain irritating.

Edfan: Oh well. *shoves him into a cat costume and kicks him to Kat and Nini’s profile*

Jimmy: NOO!! Mary Sue?! I WILL DIE!!

Tyler: Hell yeah you will!

Mary Sue: DIE JIMMY BOY!!

*One brutal killing that would make Chuck Norris faint, and one revival later*

Tyler: *Jaw is on the floor… literally*

Jimmy: What's a flame?

Edfan: *opens up a file cabinet filled with flames* Deal with this one here. *hands Jimmy a small envelope*

NOTE: THE FOLLOWING NOTE IS MADE UP. NO ONE HAS ACTUALLY FLAMED ME, REALLY.

From Edfan765suckz (not really)

You **ing suck, I hope you die a freakin’ painful and long death so I can laugh over your crappy dead body and go to Hell so the devil can poke you with his pitchfork until you cry so much you will want to beg for forgiveness but I’ll say “** YOU!” and join in on killing you for all of eternity.

(Wow, I can sure insult myself very rudely)

Jimmy: *the note sets on fire, showing that it really is a flame*AHH!! *sets on fire, and runs around*

Edfan: *dumps a bucket of sewage water on him* Okay, now write a, ONE MILLION!!!! Word essay on how awesome me and all the authors are… WITHOUT BREAKS!

Jimmy: *starts crying*

Edfan: It’s going to take a while, so let’s continue on.


 * The Mallet of Doom appears out of who-knows-where and SQUEESHES Kevin and Eddy… 10 times each*

Eddy: !!!!

From aquadragonsayian

'I am back! And I'm more eviler!! MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA! *Thunder and lightning appear behind me*'

Double D, Kevin, Nazz, and Jimmy: Play a ‘Super Mario Hyadian’ (with Double D as Mario; Kevin as Bowser; Nazz as Peach; and Jimmy as Luigi. to know more, check out Youtube for it; and you can make your own lyrics if you want)

'Ed: *gives him a feather, turning him into Cape Ed* Have fun in that form! ^w^'

'Rolf: UNLEASH YOUR FURY ON KEVIN!! WITH THIS! *hands him Saix’s weapon (he too, is from Kingdom Hearts)*'

Eddy: Take of your clothes (leaving you in your underwear) and exclaim (while acting like an idiot) “NOW YOU’LL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!!”

Ryan: *hands him a spear* Shove this up Kevin’s butt!

'Sarah: *blasts her with Mr. Bang Bang* YOU’VE GOT WHAT’S COMING TO YA YOU (beep)ING SPOILED BRAT! *the said girl got revived later and I kicked her to the Resident Evil universe* STAY THERE UNTIL YOU LEARNED YOU LESSON! (oh, and I placed a lie detector badge on her, in case if she lies, it’ll zap her)'

'I’m done. And I’m not violent. I just don’t like Kevin and Sarah. And I believe you know the reason… Update soon plz!'

Edfan: I just saw an EEnE version on Youtube too! Eddy as Mario, Kevin as Bowser, Nazz as Peach, and Ed as Luigi. And we need the music itself.

Tyler: When did we get a guitar, bass, and drum kit?

Edfan: Kevin’s life savings. I call Piano

Tyler: Dibs on Drums!

NOTE: Double D’s line will be bold, Kevin’s lines will be italic, Nazz’s lines will be underlined, Jimmy’s lines will be bold and underlined , Double D Kevin talking together will be bold italic, and the audience will be  bold, italic, and underlined .

Hey, Kevin, You’re such a stupid fellow,

Won’t you give up on Nazz already?

Well I hate to tell you that’s impossible

I’m her dinnery, no salad about it.

Won’t you both, just shut the hell up?

Just look at that lake.

Well you don’t have to eat anything

Men compete with their Face!

Nice job!

Oh great job!

Double Dork, what ya doing lately?

Doing things you failed in!

The DS’s and Wii stuff have all sold out!

Isn’t that nice?

No time to slow down!

Oh cut it out, retard!

The second verse it starting!

''My sweetest dumb blonde. I’m so in love with you''

If you can’t understand that, I’ll kidnap you and eat you up again (literally mind you)

I’ll steal you back, risking my face!

But I just can’t steal your golf club.

Cut it out the both of you

Are you listening to me at all?

The temper in you is also charming.

Real men compete with their Face!

 I love you, I love you, I love you, love you, love you, love you 

 I love you, I love you, I love you, love you, love you, love you 

 I love you, I love you, I love you, love you, love you, love you 

 I love you, I love you, I love you, love you, love you, love you 

'''Wait an hour!! Aren’t you forgetting dinner?!'''

'''Wee-ee-gee! Entering the play! Thanks for waiting!'''

'''What what what? EXCUSE ME?!’'''

You fail

Try to understand the spaghetti here!!

If you get carried away, I’ll really kick the pie out of you!

(sits in the “I am abused by everyone” corner)

One sockhat wearer, is enough for me.

Very stupid for a stand in.

By looks we’d only pass a hobo/low class…

Real men compete with their Face!

Real men compete with their Face!

Real men compete with their hearts…

Ah, it’s finally over…

You’re such a dork…

So let’s get the night life rocking!

Ah, sorry I hate this and that to eat…

Oh I see… Next time introduce me to someone dumb!

'''Next time introduce me to someone dumb? You do know the Mics are on?'''

''REALLY?! OH CRAP!''

Everyone: *throwing tomatoes at Kevin* You totally screwed up all of your dubbed up lyrics!

Kevin: I hate my life! *goes sit in the “I am abused by everyone” corner*

Ed: *turns into Cape Ed* YAY! Now I shall fight NOSEZILLA!! *flies off and blows up, then creates a successful boy-band group called “The Buttered Toast” with this hit song, “Evil Jimmy”*

Uh Uh,

This just ain’t exactly a bad guys.

You ain’t a bad guy either.

And that little toastie went to the market!

This little toasite was eat-ten!

When Cookie Dough goes out of fashion

Jimmy because a failure.

No one loves caped heroes

Unless they had eaten some fries!

I had an idea a hour ago

I just ate a sandwich

When Evil Jimmy Attacks,

We always, strike back!

Until I decide to,

Become a hula dancer!

“It lives!” I yelled,

“It Sure does” He screamed.

When Evil Jimmy came closer,

I Suck-a punched him too!

Penguins are so awesome!

Evil Jimmy is not!

Evil Jimmy is tackie,

Smelly ugly and eats glue!

Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh UH Uh Uh Uh Uh

When you need him,

Everything is a dickie!

The rattle always rattles,

I confuse it with pickles!

When you really need him

Rely on someone else!

He’s animal tamer,

Edfan’s a video gamer!

Ev-ver-ry-day,

Ev-ver-ry-body

Pickle invadse each Pizza!

Wack me, wack me, wack me, wack me,

Sock hats went out of fashion,

Twenty years ago!

This the end of our song,

And now I leave you with one thing:

''Pickles, Pickles, Pickles, Pickles, Cookie Dough Gravy! Soup Woodpeckers, goats and lots of cattle! Witch Doctors and bandages!''

Now back at the resort

Rolf: *with that huge axe thing* PREPARE FOR A BEATING KEVIN-BOY!! *destroys Kevin*

Eddy: *in his blue-pox-a-dotted boxers* NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! LOL SECRET MESSAGE! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!! NOW YOU’LL ALL PAY ATTENTION TO EDDY!!

Anthon: STOP IT YOU FOOL!! And Ryan, stuff the pointing thing up The Dork’s Salad Dressing!

Ryan: Disturbing… *takes said spear and PAINFULLY stuffs it in Kevin’s butt*

Sarah: *BOOM, and gets revived, and kicked into the Resident Evil Universe* HELP ME!!

Zombiez, giant monsters, mutant alligators, Ants, more giant mutants, aliens (for no reason), and bottles of Salad Dressing:

Sarah: THAT’S IT! *has an Epic battle with the Zombies, giant monsters, alligators, ants, aliens, but eventually dies because of the Salad Dressing*

Edfan: Not apologizing I guess…

Ryan: To the next dares so I can Kill a certain someone… *glares at Kevin*

Eddy: GIMMIE THAT PAPER! I’m finding the answers to today’s trivia!

Easymac120

'Oops, sorry Liam I forgot to put you in Kevin’s beating. And a little confession: Kevin is my 6th favorite character. I’m only targeting him here for every time he said DORK, because I hate that word.'

Oh, and Julian is now available for use in dares!!

'Truths: 1)Edd/Marie: Now that you’re Marie, what will your childrens’ names be? 2)Ryan: Why do you curse so much?'

'Dares: 1)Nazz: Sing “I’m a Barbie Girl” and have Edfan record it for youtube! 2)Kevin: WHEEL OF DEATH AGAIN, with Liam and myself as throwers! Sorry Kev, but I really hate the word DORK. 3):Everyone except Edfan: Let’s see how long you guys last on a rodeo with Julian. The one who stays on his back the longest wins a mystery-flavored jawbreaker! Anyone who gets killed will be revived.'

'Trivia: 1)What are the Eds’ middle names? (Names hidden just so the cast won’t cheat. Sometimes they will steal the papers like just now)'

Eddy: NOO!! It’s still hidden!!

Kevin: All because I keep saying dork? Why does everyone hate it when I call the Eds a dork?!

Everyone else: *facepalm*

Edfan: Double D and Marie were just married today… Well, right now it’s a mystery, considering it’s humanly impossible to give birth right after marriage.

Double D: Well actually,

*INSERT ANOTHER BIOLOGY LESSON ABOUT BABY MAKING*

Double D: And the whole process is called s-

Edfan: SHUT UP! Okay, readers: I hope you are paying attention to that rating up there! *points at the T at the top of the fiction* And as for Ryan, even I do not know why he curses so much

Ryan: You just do it to add humor into the freakin’ story, *censor*hole.

Edfan: Right…

Nazz: Barbie? I know I’m a blond, but seriously,

Edfan: Just shut up and sing.

Nazz: *sings surprisingly well, and shatters a window with a very high pitched note*

Eddy: YES YES YES!! Kevin, prepare to get owned!

Edfan: Today’s catigories are…

The Dickie: Suffocate Kevin with a dickie.

The brain: Rips open Kevin’s Head and remove his brain

'''The picture of every author that has ever reviewed: Kevin gets OWNED to the extreme by all of the authors. (throwers get an extra beating on him)'''

The corndog: Eat an exploding Corndog

The Volcano: JUMP INTO THE VOLCANO!!

The Question Mark: A giant Question Mark falls on you.

Edfan: And the choices are… The picture of authors and the dickie! We have to do both!

Easymac: *whistles to signal EVERY author that has ever reviewed (IE: aquadragon sayian, Ultraman Nexus, Kat and Nini, Dnny By, Easymac120, Gears in Motion, Earthdude, lefthandliam1998, EdEddEddyNYoshi, aceman88, Son Gogetto Briefs, and greenthunder17)* ATTACK!!!

*12 Extreme ownings and slight argument between Dnny By and liam later*

Kevin: (in a body cast) Is it over…?

Liam: *chocks Kevin with the Dickie* Now it is.

Edfan: No rodeo for me? Oh well, at least it gives me free time to see my therapist.

Ryan: That never works.

Edfan: yeah… *leaves*

Julian the bull: *bashes right through the wall*

Tyler: Okay, who’s going first?

*13 Extreme Rodeo Rides Later…*

Tyler: I shall tally them all up.

Ed: 63.93 (surprisingly awesome)

Edd: 0.24 (your very uncoordinated)

Eddy: 17.42

Kevin: 32.45

Nazz: 14.23

Jimmy: 0.23

Rolf: 89.42

Jonny: 21.32

Sarah: 43.72

Lee: 23.21

Marie: 32.53

May: 33.62

'''Plank: 1248.56!! (HOLY CRAD!)'''

Tyler: AND PLANK WINS!

Plank: (only you and Jonny can hear him) Tastes like mud… You can keep it…

Jonny: Okay. Take it back! *throws the jawbreaker at Easymac’s profile*

From EdEddEddyNYoshi

'Yay! I’m back with more dares!'

'Ed: Bury all your buttered toast alive. Edd: Drink a stupid potion and become stupidest man in the universe for the rest of this chapter. Eddy: Kill Kevin, Sarah, and Kankers morphed into one with only a Lv. 1 Shuckle. Jimmy and Sarah: Steal Kevin’s bike and pound him for 7 minutes, Anthon will record the whole thing and air it on Youtube. Kevin: Jump off a bridge with a rock tied to your head while the Eds hand out naked photos of you to everyone in the universe. Rolf: Fix Edd’s computer. Jonny: Burn down a forest and make Plank watch the whole thing. Kankers: Get murdered by the rabid Skarmory (Marie) the man eating Pikachu (May) and one of the Houndoom from the Pit of Death (Lee) Everyone except the hosts: Make a Super Mario Bros. Movie with: Ed: Luigi Edd: Yoshi (mwahaha) Eddy: Mario Kevin: Bowser Nazz: Peach Rolf: Wario Jonny: Waluigi Plank: Waluigi’s golf club Jimmy: Iggy Koopa Sarah: Lemmy Koopa (again, mwahaha) Lee: Kamek the Magikoopa May: Hammer Bros. Marie: Dry Bones As for the hosts, record it all and post it on Youtube'

'Truths: Ed: If you had to choose between buttered toast and gravy, which one would you choose? Sarah: Can’t you be nice to SOMEBODY for once? Edd: Why the hell does everyone love you? Eddy should be the loved one!'

'Question: What’s Eddy’s favorite jawbreaker flavor? (answer hidden!) Who did Ed fall in love with in the Hanky Panky Hullabaloo? (Answer hidden so the cast cannot cheat) Do you keep donations in the fridge? (question invalid. Over 2 question limit)'

'Phew! Too much typing. I can’t to see how this turns out! And for Eddy: *Mails him $9.*'

Edfan: *falling from the sky* That therapist is pure evil!!!

Anthon: Like Plank?

Edfan: No, I don’t mean awesome evil, I mean EVIL!

Therapist: *comes through the door with a chainsaw* TIME FIND OUT WHAT MAKES YOU SO EVIL!!!

Edfan: TAKE THEM INSTEAD!! *runs away*

One extreme massacre later…

Ed: *is already burring the toast like a dog with a bone* ARF!! *drools*

Double D: Not to be rude, but “stupidest” and “stupider aren’t even real words.

Edfan: You must have been looking in 1985 dictionaries! *shoves a potion painfully down his throat*

Double D: durr… what dis doo? *shocks self with a conveniently placed tazer many times*

Sarah Jimmy and all 3 Kankers: *turn into a hideous giant monster with 5 heads, 10 arms, 10 legs, 160 teeth (32 teeth per person), 10 eyes, 5 noses… basically 5 times every body part...*

Jimmy Head: How do we go to the bathroom? And I’m still not done with the essay! *makes the entire body topple over

Eddy: Shuckle thingie, GO!!!

Shuckle: (does what ever a shuckle does.)

Ed: What a potty-mouth.

Double D: I’LLL SAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!

Shuckle: BBBRAW!!! *owns Sarah Jimmy and the Kankers’ morph with one scratch*

Anthon, Ed, and Double D: HOOLAY DINNAH!!

Edfan: Okay, massive cleanup time.

*One extreme cleanup later*

Sarah and Jimmy: *pound, pound pound*

Anthon: OH GOODAY GOODAY! I love it when the bike goes boom!

Kevin: NOO!! I hate you people so much!! *jumps off said bridge with a rock tied to his head* Hey! I survived!

Edfan: That means you are FORCED to wear this! *holds up a girly pink badge that says “I JUMPED OFF A BRIDGE WITH A BOULDER TIED TO MY SKULL LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT AND LIVED!!1!!!1!!!!*

Ed: Why don’t I get one?

Kevin: NOOO!!!

Eddy: Get your naked Kevin photos here, only 50 cents! Forced discount of 50% for authors and authoress due to Mr. Bang Bang and Edfan!

Rolf: What is a computer?

Double D: I LIKEZ PIE!!

Edfan: That sparkling thing over there. *points at Double D’s computer*

Rolf: Oh… SLAVOOR!! *destroys the computer*

Jonny: Which Plank? Luckily for me, all 4 Planks survived.

Edfan: I say, all of them!

Jonny: I’m sorry!! Well, at least to Planks number 1 to 3. Plank number 4 is artificial. *burns down the Amazon Forest and creates the Amazon Desert 2*

Double D: *in a really squeaky high pitched voice all of a sudden* INCOMING!!

Kankers: *Gets OWNED to the extreme*

*One EEnE version of the Super Mario Bros. Movie later…*

Tyler: 2000 views already!

Jonny: How many subscribers do you have again?

Edfan: 500,000. Half way from Fred.

Kevin: WITH ONLY 10 VIDEOS?! WTF?!?!

Ed: I’d go with buttered toast.

Edfan: Because he says that more often than “gravy”

Ed: *retrieves his buried toast and eats it, covered in dirt* Yummy yummy in my tummy.

Sarah: Hey! I’m nice to people!

Edfan: Like…?

Sarah: Well…. Umm… err… okay, you got me.

Edfan: And to answer Double D’s question, I guess it’s because A: he’s the only sensible Ed (or used to). B: He has personal hygiene. C: People treat him right. D: He is actually good looking unlike the other 2 Eds. Or E: All of the above.

Edd: I likes the chickens 2!

Eddy: *a special 9 dollar bill smacks Eddy in the face* WOOHOO!! *I’ll be right back! *leaves to buy the all-mighty Mammoth Jawbreaker*

Edfan: *gets hit in the head by –you guessed it- a paper airplane* OW! I wish people would send these in other ways. Okay… this is lefthandliam’s dares.

From lefthandliam1998

I saw your author note, sorry, P.S. I am not a girl, anyway, here are the OTHER dares

PPS: ZARK is really yours for the taking if you want him

'EdFan765-Fly yourself to the moon to meet Cryptosporidium 137 (from Destroy All Humans), then have a duel, you get Mr. Bang Bang, Crypto gets an Electricity gun Tyler-Finally the taste is out of my mouth, anyway, I want you to go trick-or-treating with one of three female Fanfiction accounts, A-Kat and Nini B-EvanescentDream93 or C-Broadwayexpert Anthon-Ed is getting married to Sirona, go to his wedding and act like a wedding crasher'

'Ed-*Hands Ed an array of caffeinated drinks* This may be digging the show’s own grave, but I am taking the risk, drink this crap up and wait for it to effect the studio Edd-You know how many fangirls love you right? Well, *Hands Edd an invisibility potion* my OC Sam is one of those fangirls, use this to get to her Eddy-NEVER ABUSE THE POWER OF ZARK AGAIN! For that, ZARK (Remember he is the show’s servant bot) will cut you into little bite-sized bits and feed them to my talking Bombay cat, captain'

Sarah-*I am with Sarah in an Interview office*

'Me: So, you are unshrunken? Sarah:Thanks to EasyMac Me: Okay, then *Hands Sarah a growth ray* this is a shrink ray (Lol, lie), with it, use your grunge against Eddy and zap him several times, oh and the effects are not undo-able (That’s true) for a whole chapter Sarah: Awesome! *Walks away Me (Whisper): Psyche Jimmy-All of my OCs will rain down upon you and stay in for the rest of the chapter Johnny- you and Plank will join forces to TP a tree Rolf-YOU ARE DEPRIVED OF YOUR URBAN RANGER PRIVELEGES! GO AWAY! Kevin-Spy on Nazz and wait for something to happen Nazz- Look at Kevin! He’s being a pervert! take this (Hands Nazz a red sphere* and kill the kev! The Kankers- You two *Points at Lee and Marie* give May all of the money you stole from the eds and let her buy it on whatever she wants without you!'

Ima done-a ya!

Tyler: I had no idea. Looks can be deceiving.

Edfan: And usernames. Sorry for the confusion. (personally I though “liam” was a girl’s name) But until then, *steals a government tested jetpack and flies to the moon* and thanks for Zark!

Tyler: Aren’t Kat and Nini like… 20?

Ryan: Well they’re the only fanfiction account that this retarted author knows.

MEANWHILE IN SPACE

Edfan: *blasting a seemingly invulnerable Cryptosporidium 137* I HEARD THAT!! *ZAP!* AHH!!!

*BACK ON EARTH*

Tyler: Oh well. See ya guys. *leaves at stupid fast speeds*

Anthon: HE IS?!

Ed: I IS?!

Double D: THEY BANNED LEMURZ?!

Ed: *talking like a British Gentleman* Honestly, even we aren’t that dumb.

*3 minutes later*

Judge: Do you take this spider creature to be your lovely wedded wife?

Ed: I do!

Judge: And do you take this nincompoop to be your lawful husband?

Sirona: I do.

Judge: If there is any reason these two should not be wed, speak now.

Anthon: DIVE BOMBER!!! *holds up a nuclear bomb* GOOD BYE AMIGO!!

NUKE

*One extreme clean-up later*

Edfan: *falling from the sky covered in ash* Ow…

Ryan: HA! You got beaten so damn badly!

Edfan: Actually…

ON THE MOON

Cryptosporidium: *blown to pieces* Maybe I should have just retired and become a toaster

Back at the studio

Edfan: RUN!!

Ed: *speaking a ton of gibberish that I will translate* (translator) WOOOHOOO! I LIKEZ THE SUGAR! MY LIFE IS GOOD WITH TONS OF CAFFEENE!

Edfan: (translator). *turns translator off* I said, RUN TO THE SHELTER!! *runs to the cardboard box with his OCs, Eddy, Nazz and for some reason, the deadly strip of bacon from Ultraman’s Yu-Gi-Oh duel*

Tyler: Anyone have a plan?

Edfan: Just one…

One extremely over-complicated plan later


 * The entire resort is destroyed*

Ed: What happened?

Anthon: DICKIEZ! That’s what happened!

Edfan: Luckily for us… *opens up a safe called “CONVIENT MONEY IN CASE ED BLOWS UP OUR HOME WITH AN ARRAY OF CAFFINATED BEVERAGES” and pulls out a gold bar*

Tyler: Aren’t those Kevin’s life savings?

Ryan: He betted that Edfan would win in that Yu-gi-oh duel.

Tyler: Ouch… Anyways, Edfan, can you make Double D back to his smart self for this?

Edfan: Okay then… How do I do that again? *a potion falls from the sky and nails him in the head* OW! Okay, time for your meds Double D!

Double D: NOOEZ!! I DONTZ WANTZ MUH MEDZ!!!

Edfan: STAY STILL AND YOU’LL GET A NICE LOLLIPOP!

Double D: YOU’LL NEVA TAKE ME ALIVE!

Edfan: *shoves it down Double D’s throat* Okay Double D, here. *hands him lefthandliam’s dare* Now if you need me, *ZARK appears all of a sudden* Nevermind.

Double D: Well *gets kicked to lefthanliam’s profile*

Zark: RRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRR!!!!!!!! *destroys Eddy and gives him to Captain*

Edfan: *gives the huge Zark some metallic meat* good boy.

Sarah: YES! *zaps the revived Eddy several times*

Eddy: *20 feet tall* I SHALL SQEESH YOU! *crunch*

Jimmy: AHH!!

Sirona: Attack him!

Jason: WOOHOO! SMACK SMACK SMACK!!

Thomas: I didn’t know he was that crazy

Liam: ATTACKA!

Jeremy: Make me angry and die!

Sam: Is this sockhat yours? *hands Edfan a lipstick-covered Double D*

Edfan: thanks…

Jimmy: AHH!!

Jeremy: I SAID DON’T MAKE ME ANGRY!

Liam: CAFFEINE CAFFEINE!

Sirona: Please stop!

Sam: This place is getting crowded

Jason: I WANTS THE CHICKENS!

Jeremy: YOU MADE ME ANGRY! NOW DIE! *brutally kills Jimmy*

All of lefthandliam’s OCs: *stay silent*

Edfan: *revives Jimmy* Please take a seat… waaaaaay over there *points at a bleacher only 6 feet away*

Jonny: TEE PEE TIME! *grabs Plank and a roll of toilet paper*

Edfan: Technically toiletpaper is made from tree so it’s not effecting Jonny whatsoever.

Rolf: *tearing up* WHAHA!!! *yells something in his language*

Kevin: *gets a pair of binoculars and stares at Nazz*

Nazz: *throws the red sphere at Kevin* DIE PERV!

Kevin: AHH!! IT WAS A DARE- *Get’s kehauled by the sphere of pain*

Lee: *gives May 20 bucks* darn…

May: TO THE TOAST IMPORIUM! *drags Ed by the neck along*

Ed: Oh Goody goody!

Edfan: And here comes a single dare from Son Gogetto Briefs.

From Son Gogetto Briefs

Can you have Edd smell Ed’s Underwear?(And he has to keep it on his head for 10 secs)

Double D: Oh lord no!

Edfan: Too bad fellow… too bad. *shoves the underwear on his head*

Double D: IT BURNS!! *melts*

Edfan: And with that short dare, let’s continue on to greenthunder *reads the review* err… can barely read it.

From greenthunder17

'so basically you hate naruto because he can kick your butt anyway here are my dares ed will have to let edd use soap on him this was based of the episode where ed ger his finger stuck in a bottle eddy hurt kevin and sarah anyway you like here have some TNT as well edfan765 i am a fan of naruto so *pulls out mr. bang bang and shoot you* torture that oh and edd hook kevin and sarah to the old chinese water torture and that is it see ya'

Double D: Which street is the “Toast Imporium” that May had mentioned?

Edfan: 111 Ham Lane.

Double D: Right. *grabs a bar of soap*

Eddy: YEAH! TNT! Mine! *blows up Kevin and Sarah with a bunch of guts going everywhere*

Edfan: I don’t remember making a copy of Mr. Bang Bang for greenthunder- *nuked* Ow… *falls over dead*

Tyler: AHH!! Wait, I know a way to revive him! Quickly, Eddy, kiss Jonny!

Eddy: WHAT?! NO WAY!

Tyler: JUST DO IT!

Anthon: *Holds up Mr. Bang Bang*

*Insert Yaoi here*

Edfan: *coming alive* YAOI BAD!! *burns Eddy and Jonny with a match and tank of gas* And you know what they say about Naruto, either people automatically love him, or hate him.

Tyler: Just like Fred.

Edfan: Everyone has their opinion. I just happen to dislike

Ryan: When he says dislike, he means hate.

Edfan: Naruto. But I can live with him. Infact some of my best friends are Naruto lovers.

Tyler: But, enough boring people with explaining why you hate Naruto, on to Chinese water torture!

Two minutes of Chinese Water Torture later…

Kevin: AHHH!!!!! MUST KILL EVERYONE!!! *yells stuff in gibberish* GAH THEREABY SIIKKY! (Just for you guys to know, Chinese water torture means water dripping on your forehead until you go insane)

Sarah: (Insert the above)

Edfan: *knocks them both out with bricks* left over from the last chapter. Next dares.

From Earthdude

'I shall call my pairing Chezz! On with the dares!'

Dares

'The Kankers and Kevin: Off with their heads! And are lucky beheaders for the Kankers are their respective “boyfriends”, while Kevin gets the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland.'

Ryan: Release your worst curses at poor old Ed.

Ed: Kill Ryan after he insulted you in any way you see fit.

'Plank 4: Bring Plank 1 back to life than have Jonny throw you into the woodchipper. Edfan can revive you if he wants. If that hapoens, the two planks shall Poke battle to see who the true plank is.'

Edfan: Cosplay as Naruto, Sasuke, or Sakura (Kevins choice) until Plank (1) says to stop.

Anthon: Eat the eyeball weapon.

'Edfan: Heres 500 dollars. Go buy some shiny new equipment to torture Kevin with, then do so.'

'Culdasac Kids: Meet Jason. He comes Camp Crystal Lake.'

Hosts: While the kids deal with Jason, meet Freddy Kruegar.

Truth

Kevin: Did you know you live in a fictional universe?

Plank(1): Why are you so damn evil?

Double D: How did you get so many fangirls?

Questions

'What is the only Ed Edd n Eddy game realesed on Gamecube? (This is not based off the Ed’s adventures, rather the game so this question is void. Sorry!)'

Edfan: To the dungeon with Kevin and the Kankers! MWAHAHA!

*Several Beheadings later*

Ryan: *Language censored, for if you heard it, the rating of this fiction would bump up to “M”*

Ed: *tearing up* WAH!! *drowns Ryan with a river of tears*

Edfan: Yay! My ungrateful OC’s first death! Uhh, can we leave him dead?

Tyler: Sure!

Jonny: YA! *throws Plank 4 into the woodchipper and hugs Plank 1* You can never beat the original!

Plank 4: *in a demonic voice* OH YES I CAN!!

Tyler: He… he can talk?!?!

Plank 4: OF COURSE I CAN YOU FOOL! *obliterates Tyler into ashes*

Edfan: *brings Tyler back to life* Not good! Everyone! Assume battle formations!

Everyone: *Panics while Anthon goes to the bathroom*

Tyler: Oh forget this. *Blows Plank 4 up with Mr. Bang Bang*

Edfan: Okay, weird…

Kevin: YES YES!! *starts spazzing out because for once he’s getting to torture his torturer* Okay, which one… Naruto is the most hated one,(Naruto: I’ll come after you!) Sasuke is emo (Sasuke: I AM NOT EMO!), and Sakura is a girl… (Sakura: Sexist! Let’s get him!) *Gets owned to the extreme by said Naruto characters*

Jonny: Plank thinks he said “Naruto”.

Edfan: DAMN IT!

Eddy: *snickers* A dare’s a dare!

Edfan: I’ll kill you later.

Anthon: *eats the EVIL crimson eyeball*Yum! It tastes like chocolate cake! *his stomach starts glowing orange* uh oh.

*Insert Anthon’s NUKE here*

Edfan: Thanks for the 500 bucks. Uhh… Believe it?*leaves to the torture Emporium*

Ed: OH MY GOSH! RUN GUYS! It’s a serial killer!

Tyler: HA! *notices Freddy right next to him* AHH!!

*One hilarious chase scene that would take up 53 word document pages*

Everyone: *in a corner*

Eddy: Any last words?

Edfan: *coming back* Hey guys! Look, I got this sweet deal on a cross with nails and hammer included! I also got a free potato peeler and a- WOAH! *notices two serial killers about to murder 16 children* Did I miss something?

Tyler: Nothing much.

Jason: Enough. *starts up his chainsaw* MLAMLAMLAMLAMLAMLAMLA!!

Freddy: *holds up his claw thingies* DIE!!

Edfan: You’re not murdering them on my watch. Besides, Kevin still owes me 20 bucks.

Jason: And what are you going to do about it?

Edfan: *holding up the imfamous Crimson Eyeball* I shall unleash my fury on you  ugly  serial killers!

Jason: *tearing up* You’re so mean! *cries like a baby and runs away*

Everyone: Awkward…

Edfan: And I know your weakness! TAKE THIS! *throws a Pomeranian at Freddy*

Freddy: NOOO!! I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!! *melts as the Pomeranian barks*

Tyler: You’ve never seen either of those movies, have you?

Edfan: Hey I may be 14 (not real age guys), but I just cannot handle horror movies.

Kevin: Wimp!

Edfan: *Shoves the eyeball in Kevin’s left eye* Anyone else want to criticize me? Good! *revives Kevin, and kills a random guy in the background*

Kevin: A fictional universe? I’m not real?!

Edfan: Not in my world.

All the EEnE characters: *disappears*

Edfan: But luckily for us this is just a fanfiction, so I can do whatever! *takes off head, and plays basketball with it for a little bit* and I say the EEnE characters exist in this world!

EEnE characters: *come back again*

Ed: That was weird!

Plank: (remember, only you, and Jonny can hear him) I secretly plan to take over the world by stealing Mr. Bang Bang and killing Edfan! After I do so, I will take over America and rage war with the rest of the world, creating WWIII!! And I will create huge self-monuments and enslave you all!!! Oh, but don’t tell Edfan. If you don’t I’ll send dynamite to you people to kill Kevin.

Edfan: Well, I’m not sure whatever Plank said, but who cares? At least nothing bad can happen. Anyways, Double D?

Double D: Well, I’m just as unsure as you people are…

Fangirls outside: DOUBLE D IS SO HOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edfan: *not hearing them* The world will never know.

Tyler: We got the last dares.

From aquadragonsayian

'Hm… Maybe I should put in MOAR dares!! :D'

Ed: *gives him a bravery bean (which tastes like buttered toast)* Tell Sarah off and use THIS *hands him Lexeaus’ (also from Kingdom Hearts) weapon* to beat the living snot out of her to prove your point!

Kevin: Get destroyed by Bowser, Wario, Ganondorf, King Dedede, and any other characters the author sends your way; and you’ll have you hands and legs tied so you can’t defend yourself even if you tried.

'Sarah: Be nice to everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, until the author says so. (not like it’ll kill you or anything…)'

'Jonny: USE HEADBUTT! (on Kevin)'

*meanwhile, at the Castle That Never Was…*

Xemnas: WHO THE HELL KEEPS ON STEALING OUR WEAPONS?!?

*back at the studio*

'Me: Uh… That’s it from me. I better get out of here before Mansex figures out who’s stealing the Organization’s weapons… Bye!!'

Ed: *eats a single jellybean* I don’t feel any different. *reads his dare* I don’t think I can- HOW DARE YOU ABUSE ME FOR 5 SEASONS, 4 SPECIALS, AND A MOVIE STRAIGHT!! Where was I?

Everyone but Edfan: O_O

Edfan: *yawns* Seen it.

Kevin: NOO!!

Bowser: *blasts him with FIRAH!!*

Wario: *farts on him*

Ganondorf: *Warlock PAWNCHEZ Kevin*

King DDD: *smacks him with a hammer*

Edfan: Hi guys! *holds up an EVIL list*

The villain: *girly scream* IT’S THE DEMON FROM HADIES!! LET’S BEAT IT!!

Tyler: Does every Super Smash Bros character fear you?

Edfan: Not everyone… Only the ones I do not think are either A: Awesome, or B: respectable.

MEANWHILE IN THE SSB UNIVERSE

Everyone but Roy, Pichu, Ike, Luigi, Meta Knight, Zelda, Link, Marth, Pit, and Samus: *hiding in a cardboard Box*

Roy: I don’t get it either!

BACK IN THE STUDIO

Edfan: *pulls out a huge list that unfolds to go around the world 3 times* Let’s see… I also have C. Falcon, Ed, Edzilla, a cat, that dickie from the X-mas special, Jason, Freddy Kruegar, Dark Link, Spongebob, Elmo, Lazlo, my computer

*5 days and 8 hours later*

Edfan:- Plank, Plank 2, Plank 3, Plank 4, a microwave, a toasted bagel with toasted jelly, every Team Fortress character, the Team Fortress characters from my other SSB fiction, and my grandmother… And that is only the warm up!!

Kevin: WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!?!

*52963 brutal killings later*

Edfan: *revives Kevin*Thanks for the jelly beans gran gran. *shoves them in Kevins throat*

Kevin: AHH!! VOMIT AND BOOGER AND SARDINE AND EVEN EARWAX FLAVORS!! WHAT ARE THESE JELLY BEANS?!?!

Edfan: Bertie Bot’s Every Flavor Beans!! MWAHAHA!! At least just the gross flavors.

Sarah: NICE?!?!

Tyler: *snickers* You hear her! Nice!

Sarah: *gulp* I-I- *head explodes*

Edfan: It’s official! It’s physically impossible for Sarah to be nice!

Jonny: KAMIKAZI!!! *smacks his head into Kevin, only for it to explode and kill them both*

Edfan: Nice! *revives them both* Now then, next up is the game show like always.

Tyler: Our three contestants will be… Ed, May, and Kevin. I bet Kevin’s going to lose again! And our Grand prize will be immunity from dying for an entire chapter!

Edfan: Maybe I should revive Ryan right now… Hold on! *gives everyone earmuffs* now. *revives Ryan*

Ryan: IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU (censor, censor, censor… you get the idea)

Edfan: Right… Here are the “damn” questions. *gives him a sheet of paper*

Ryan: Well (censor) you, (glass without the G or L)hole. Okay, first one for May. What are Rolf’s favorite candies besides Jawbreakers? (the answer is Jububes)

May: Don’t know! I wasn’t in that episode.

Edfan: This means she is allowed to stay in the game.

Tyler: Kevin, who is the King of the Cul-de-sac?

Kevin: Jonny’s evil wooden mastermind.

Edfan: What are the Eds’ middle names?

Ed: Mine is Horace, Double D’s is *snickers* MARION!!

12 minutes of laughing at Double D later…

Ed: and… Eddy’s is… SKIPPER!!

12 more minutes of laughing at Eddy later…

Tyler: For May: What is Eddy’s favorite flavor of jawbreaker?

May: again, I don’t know!

Edfan: She was in the episode, but it was in Eddy’s imagination.

Anthon: OH WELL! I’M BORED!! *presses a button that makes May explode*

Tyler: Ed, who was your date in the “Hanky Panky Hullabaloo?”

Ed: What? I have a date? I thought I was married to a 3 inch tall half spider lady!

Anthon: *presses another button that flings Ed to said wife*

Edfan: NOO!! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEAN?!?!?!?!

Anthon: No.

Edfan: KEVIN IS IMMUNE TO DEATH IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!

Kevin haters from all over the globe: NOO!!!!

Kevin: HELL YEAH!!!

Tyler: Aren’t you forgetting something? If you can’t die, the pain will all build up!

Kevin: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Edfan: *snickers* Well, That’s a wrap, and I hope you saw the Big Picture Show!

Tyler: Ed or Dare will now reference the BPS!

Anthon: I likez the turkeyz!

Ryan: YOUALL SUCK!!! And have a nice day.

Edfan: Don’t insult these readers!

Ryan: *beep* you!

Anthon: Naughty boy! *throws a bottle of salad dressing at him*

Ryan: Oh that’s it! *punches Anthon, Tyler, and Edfan, which leads to a fight in a dust cloud like in the cartoons*

Edfan: *popping his head out from the cloud* Thanks for reading!

'''YAY! The Big Picture Show is in North America! YESH! *Holds a massive party at profile with several characters from other series and all of the EEnE characters*'''

So in case you just scrolled down here to click on that review button (SHAME ON YOU!) Here’s what has newly happened:

Ed and Liam’s OC were FORCABLY wed.

Double D and Marie were FORCABLY wed.

Edfan has a new cross to torture people.

Zark is available for use in dares (credits to lefthanliam1998)

Julian is available for use in dares (credits to Easyman120)

Mammoth Jawbreakers are for the epic win.

So anyways, the next chapter will involve… *snickers* let’s just say it’ll involve lots of KABOOMZ!

Edfan: I’m telling you people, school is like an evil beast, waiting to pounce, attack, and give tons of homework and tests

'''Tyler: And that’s why his fictions are gonna be late. And because of that poll we set up, Edfan’s staying on fanfiction.'''

'''Edfan: Yeah… so let’s just do the disclaimer quickly. I don’t own anything except for Tyler, Anthon, and that short kid who keeps cursing at me who isn’t Eddy.'''

Ryan: Damn straight!

Tyler: Right, just forget this disclaimer and go onto the fiction right below me.

'''NOTICE: I know scripture isn’t allowed on Fanfiction, but it makes this a hell-lot easier. Besides, there are a ton of script fics in SSB and possibly others.'''

Edfan, Tyler, Anthon, and Ryan are seen in the lobby of the resort. They were playing Rock Band 2 on their creator’s Wii. They are playing the song “Everlong (I’m telling you, that’s THE hardest song for the drummer.”

Ryan: *with the base* Haha! Overdrive, baby!

Tyler: *using a guitar* Hmm…

Anthon: *using his head along with his drumsticks to hit notes* Ahh!! This song (ow) is (ow) really (ow) hard (ow) for the (ow) drum (ow) mer!

Edfan: *notices the everyone else coming* Hey guys.

Eddy: What’s up?

Anthon: The ceiling! And isn’t that a chandelier falling?

Kevin: *gets hit in the head, but survives*

Tyler: Not much. Hey, let’s take a break.

Anthon: *suffering some brain damage* I’m right behind ya there… *falls out of his chair*

Edfan: He always ends up doing that.

Ryan: Let’s see you then! You suck on the drums!

Edfan: You’re not exactly the best singer here, you…

Tyler: Say it.

Edfan: I can’t, it’s not in my blood.

Tyler: SAY IT!!

Edfan: No!

Ryan: Ha! Wimp!

Edfan: *censor* you!

Ed: Mefan said a bad word, Double D!

Double D: I am quite aware of that Ed.

Edfan: Okay, game over guys, Ed or Dare starts in a few minutes. *turns off the Wii*

Anthon: Good thing there… *falls over again*

Edfan: So… you guy’s planning anything special today…?

Tyler: No, why?

Edfan: In case you want celebrate something?

Eddy: Oh yeah! Thanksgiving day! I got the perfect turkey-based scam!

Edfan: *sighs* Nevermind.

Several Minutes later…

Edfan: Hi there! I’m sure you know us, and saw our little argument because the camera crew decided to eavesdrop again.

Camera man: Sorry… again…

Tyler: Whatever. Let’s just start with the dares please.

From Son Gogetto Briefs

…give me the doll…

'Ed:Have him burn all of his comic books Edd:Have him bathed in Cow uh...you-know-what :) Sarah:*kills her with a Final Bang KamaHaMaHa* Jimmy:*same as Sarah* Eddy:Do you cut your hair or is it all ways like that?'

Edfan: What doll?

Plank: *Somehow, sends a doll to Son Gogetto Briefs without anyone looking*

Ed: Umm… someone all ready replaced all my comics with Barbie magazines again. So… *grabs a tank of gasoline and a match and burns said magazines*

Double D: COW MANURE?!

Tyler: *hiding laughter* Oh hell yeah!

Double D: Stinky stinky stinky! *jumps into Rolf’s cow pen*

Sarah and Jimmy: *A huge beam coming from Who-knows-where goes and vaporizes the two*

Eddy: I already answered that question…

Edfan: His bro shaved him bald.

Ed: And his hair is Magic!

Edfan: Next ones please. *grabs a letter*

'Dodge’s klondike bar. Kevin can’t die? Excellent, excellent, he can be tortured as much as I like…BWAHAHAHAHAH!'

Edd:Do drugs

Eddy:Drop your pants and moon Edfan765.

'Edfan765:Give Eddy the Thousand Years of death. Or you can use the version of it that includes you shoving a kunai up his butt that has a exploding tag on it.'

'Kevin:Ride around in an extremelly girly bike that even Jimmy might not even want to ride on. Afterwords, dress up in women’s underwear and run around singing “I’m Pretty, Witty, and Gay” Then me and Edfan will interrogate you for the whereabout’s of my old Gameboy color I lost when I was a kid.'

Plank:Falcon Punch Jonny

Jimmy:Watch Paranormal Activity 10 times in a row.

Everyone except Edfan:Drink a gallon of pig pop otherwise bow to Edfan and declare an awesome being.

Double D: D-D-Drugs?!?!

Edfan: What would it be? Cigarettes…

Tyler: Tobacco

Ryan: Wine

Anthon: Beer

Kevin: Marijuana *gets arrested because Marijuana is illegal in US*

Eddy: Liquor

Several minutes of naming many different drugs later…

Edfan: Just choose already.

Double D: Can’t I just-

Edfan: NO!

Double D: Wait a minute there, mister!

Edfan: What?

Double D: Didn’t you say you had a headache?

Edfan: Yeah.

Double D: Give me the medicine box.

Tyler: You mean this?

Double D: Thank you. *looks at it carefully* Aha! It says drug facts! That way, it is officially claimed as a drug. So technically, we all take drugs.

Tyler: … CURSE YOU LOOPHOLE!!

Eddy: *snickers* Take this!

Insert Edfan being mooned, and him shoving a pointy object up Eddy’s butt, where it explodes.

Edfan: Moon me again, and I’ll shove the Crimson Cateye up your butt!

Tyler: Is that the official name for that eyeball weapon?

Edfan: Meh, yeah. Anyways, I think my intergalactic transporter is functional. Is that correct Double D?

Double D: Yes it is. So it should bring Ultraman Nexus to our current location and-

Ryan: Nerd alert! Nerd alert! *grabs a big barrel and traps Double D in it*

Edfan: Right…

Ultraman: *Appears* You didn’t really have to build that transporter.

Edfan: It’s not just a transporter. It’s a Super Hydraulic Intergalactic Transporter.

Kevin: Also known as the sh-

Edfan: *blasts Kevin before he finishes* Anyways, do you have your deck ready?

Ultraman: Yep!

Edfan: Okay then, I summon the Plain White T’s!

Everyone: WHAT THE HECK?!

Ultraman: There’s no “Plain White T’s” card in Yu-gi-oh!

Edfan: Actually, I saw a website where you can make your own cards. *holds up several cards including “Hannah Montana,” “Sonic the REALLY cheap hedgehog,” “The King,” “A Really Cruddy version of Mario,” and “Weegee”

Ultraman: Give me the link later…

Edfan: Sure. But until then, Plain White T’s, use your special effect!

Ultraman: And what would that be?

Edfan: Sing!

One 2 minute 40 second song later…

Edfan: And with that, I gain 400 life points for ever other “Band” type card in my hand! *gains 800 life points*

Ultraman: And lose 100 life points for every non-band card in your deck.

Edfan: NOOO!!! *loses automatically*

Kevin: OWNED!!

Edfan: *shoots Kevin several times, in which he turns into living dust* You must now ride the PINKEST, GIRLIEST, SISSIEST BIKE IN THE WORLD!!!

Kevin: … I hate my life… *rides a pink sissy bike with pictures of fairy princesses, Teletubies, and Elmo on it for about 2 minutes* Now what…?

Lee: *holds up some pink panties* My mom’s spare.

Kevin: NOO!!!

Edfan: *hits Kevin in the head with a bat* Don’t wear it.

Kevin: What?

Ultraman: *grabs a camera* Now wear it!

Kevin: *Sings “I'm Pretty Witty and Gay,” and gets blasted by Edfan’s Anti-Yaoi blast everytime he says “gay” in the song*

Ultraman: Quick! Drag him into the police conference room!

A quick change of clothes and tying up later…

Ultraman: *dressed up like a policeman with his shirt tied around his waist* Give it up Kevin! You can’t hide it from us!

Kevin: I don’t know what you’re talking about!

Ultraman: I’m talking about my Game Boy Color that I lost when I was just a kid. And I KNOW you were the one who took it!

Edfan: *Also dressed up like a policemen with a fake mustache* Not that I disapprove of torturing Kevin, but it’s just a Game Boy Color. I mean, you have a DS right?

Ultraman: It was the first handheld I ever had, I played my first Poke’mon game on that system.

Edfan: Ahh… I understand now.

Ultraman: *glares at Kevin* And you took my childhood away from me!!!

Kevin: Well you ain’t getting anything out of me! I can’t die, remember?

Ultraman: I was hoping you’d say that. As some would say, ‘there are other ways of destroying a man’ and ‘there are fates worse than death.’

Edfan: Well for us, we death doesn’t mean anything but pain. We always end up killing Kevin. But let’s start simple. *grabs a ray gun*

Ultraman: *grabs a camera*

Both: Say “Zapped!” *Edfan electrocutes Kevin while Ultraman takes pictures*

Kevin: Ouch! I’m still not talking!

Ultraman: Hmm… looks like we’ll have to get more creative. *goes into another room and comes out dressed up like Batman from the Dark Knight movie*

Everyone: O_O Nice costume.

Ultraman: (is talking like gibberish and very hard to understand because that’s how he talks in the movie* Whydoyouwanttokillme?

Kevin: What did you say?

Ultraman: Tellmewhereitis.

Kevin: I can’t understand this! Talk like a normal person!

Ultraman: Don’tplaygameswithmeKevin! *punches Kevin in the nose* Whereisit?!

Kevin: OW!!! I don’t understand your language!!

Ultraman: *grabs Kevin by the head and throws him into a wall*

Edfan: While I approve of throwing Kevin around the room, I don’t think you’ll be getting anything out of him if you keep talking like that.

Ultraman: (talking normally) I guess you’re right. *uses his author powers to return his clothes back to normal* Hey Eddy, I’ve got a great idea for a scam for you!

Eddy: No foolin’? What is it?

Ultraman: *Get’s our two wooden poles and ties Kevin up to them with his arms and legs restrained* The “Kick the shovel chinned dork in the crotch-a-thon!” Only 25 cents!

Edfan: That’s not going to work. You dared him to be neutered, remember?

FLASHBACK

Edfan: *gets out a ray gun* This hurts you a lot more than it will hurt me… *Blasts Kevin while he is saying “DAMN YOU TO HE-”*

''Kevin: *he is now a red hyena who is very smelly and looks like he bathed in garbage for his whole life* RUFF RUFF RUFF!! *blood thirsty growl*''

''Edfan: STAND DOWN KEVIN! *hold up a vacuum* DON’T MAKE ME USE THIS!!''

''Kevin: Err? *stares at vacuum*''

Edfan: Oops… *tosses vacuum away and grabs Mr. Bang Bang*

Tyler: What's a neuter?

''Edfan: *looking in a dictionary*It means to remove the uhh… *whispers in his ear, which makes him blush in a sense of “OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”* Double D, Anthon, time to do an operation! *shoots a sleep dart at Kevin incase he bites*''

Double D & Anthon: *they take away Kevin*

Tyler: *holds up the remote* Shall we?

''Edfan: *turning a bit green* Not this time. I think I just heard a spleen explode… *throws up into a garbage can*''

FLASHBACK ENDS

Kevin: HA! OWNED!

Edfan: *kicks Kevin in the face*

Ultraman: You don’t know this, but I can tap into the forgotten art of… MILLENIUM AUTHOR POWERS!! *zaps Kevin with a blue ray which causes his… umm… It reverses the neuter*

Kevin: AH CRAP!!

Eddy: Kick this guy in the crotch! Only 25 cents per kick!

Kevin: DAMN YOU ALL!! *gets kicked several times by every kid in the cul-de-sac, several more times by authors who heard of it, and 17 times by Edfan*

Eddy: Thanks for the scam idea!

Ultraman: No problem. And since it was to torture Kevin, I’ll let you keep that money.

Kevin: *In pain and agony* I… still won’t tell you… anything………(several more dots later)…. DORK!!!

Ultraman: *becomes enraged* YOU JUST INSULTED ME! THAT TEARS IT AGAIN KEVIN! YOU’VE FORCED ME TO DO SOMETHING I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER HAVE TO USE!!!

Edfan: Y-You don’t mean… *gasp* NO! THAT’S INHUMAN!

Tyler: It’s worse than watching old people make out!

Ryan: It’s worse than Kevin being popular!

Plank: (only you and Jonny can hear him) It’s one of the only things more evil than me!

MEANWHILE

Naruto: It’s even more annoying than my voice actor! Speaking of which, I think that green shirted loser is also having my English voice. Oh well.

MEANWHILE AGAIN

Luigi: It’s even more deadly than twenty Chuck Norrises!!

Mario: With an Army of Weegees!

BACK IN THE STUDIO

Ultraman: *generates a black magazine that says “DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU WISH TO BE PERMANETENLY MENTALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY SCARRED FOR THE REST OF YOUR PUNY MORTAL LIFE*

Anthon: A magazine?

Ultraman: A dirty magazine with women in it magically aged 60 years!

Everyone: SHEER MENTAL TERROR!!

Kevin: NOOO!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE!! ANYTHING!!

Ultraman: *laughing maniacally* TOO LATE NOW DORK!! PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR SEXUAL DRIVE NUKED!! *shows him pictures that are so scary, that neither I nor Ultraman will describe them to you. I also decided to blackmail Kevin to make sure he doesn’t tell anyone about the said magazine. Way too scary to be unleashed onto our planet*

Kevin: AHH!!! *eyeballs melt right out* OKAY OKAY OKAY!! I CONFESS!!! I TOOK YOUR GAME BOY COLOR! IT’S IN MY ROOM IN MY DRAWER!!!

Ultraman: *drops the magazine, and runs to Kevins’s house and runs back* He has a ton of pictures of Nazz in a bikini!

Nazz: *pays Eddy about 10 bucks before proceeding to kick Kevin in the crotch many times while showing him the magazine again* Pervert!

Ultraman: Pleasure working with you. Now I’m off to the Harry Potterverse! *disappears*

Tyler: … That guy might be more evil than Plank.

Plank: (Only you and Jonny can hear him) I’LL TEACH THEM ALL!! But until then… *falls over on Jonny with a firey enhancement.* FALCON PAWNCH!

Jonny: *gets flung to the other side of the room*

Jimmy: Is that a scary movie?

Edfan: *looking up on Wikipedia* It’s considered one of the best horror movies of all time. *locks Jimmy into a closet with “Paranormal Activity” playing 10 times in a row* But I’d rather not find out.

Tyler: *snickers* look at this next one!

Edfan: *reads the last dare* HA! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!!

Kevin: I refuse!

Several bowings, and about 4 pig pop gallon chugs later

Kevin: I hate you all!!

Lee: So what else is new? *kicks him in the crotch again*

Kevin: Can you at least let me down from this stupid scam thing?!

Edfan: Let me think… NO.

From lefthandliam1998

'WOOHOO! ZARK IS AVAILABLE FOR DARING! P.S. He will be serving breakfast next episode: Buttered toast, donut, chunky puffs, gravy, jawbreakers, and jujubes :)'

'P.P.S.: How’d you know Sirona was 3 inches tall? Did you read 11 Odd Friends? EdFan765: *Hands you a forgetful Jawbreaker* It’s only for until the end of the next couple dares Tyler: I have a love for explosions, friends, here is a satchel of red-bombs *hands red-bombs* Oh yeah and you left your wallet when I drank you *coughs up $50* jump into the TV and kill george of the Jungle and Barbie Anthon: You have no dare'
 * This all happens inside ZARK transformed into a 5-star hotel*

That’s kinda it, I’m getting bored

Edfan: Actually, I just read your profile. And I really haven’t seen Monsters V.S. Aliens yet…

Kevin: HA! That proves you suck! You can’t even afford to go to movies!

Edfan: Double D, do you have that invention ready yet?

Double D: Indeed I do… *shows a large machine with many different kinds of boots sticking out of it* The Crotch Kicker 3000.

Edfan: Let her rip!

Lots of crotch kickings later

Kevin: MAKE IT STOP!! PLEASE!!!

Edfan: Nope! You’ve been a nuisance long enough.

Eddy: Eat the jawbreaker!

Edfan: … Just as long as I remember that Kevin’s the one I hate. *eats the jawbreaker and everyone waits about 20 minutes afterwards* Who are you people again?

Kevin: *still being kicked* Do- *ow* you, reme *ow* ber me?!

Edfan: … No. *notices the “Kick the shoveled chinned dork in the crotch” sign* I’m sure I have a quarter here somewhere… *digs in his pocket and pulls out a quarter* But this sure looks fun!

Kevin: *sobs*

Edfan: *FALCOWN, KICKZ Kevin in his crotch and sits in a chair* I still don’t know who you people are.

Tyler: Thanks. I’ve been looking everywhere for that. And I mean everywhere.

Nazz: In the Cow fields?

Tyler: Yup.

Jimmy: In the sunflower meadows?

Tyler: Yup.

Eddy: In the gag-factory?

Tyler: Yup.

Kevin: In my closet?

Tyler: Yeah, and it wasn’t pretty in there either. But, anyways, bombing time! *Jumps into the TV*

Edfan: I know that George cartoon. One of the worst. Next to several others…


 * A huge explosion comes out of the TV*

From aquadragonsayian

I have returned.

'All the cul-de-sac kids and Edfan: Cosplay as Organization XI. (and you can decide who you and they will be. To find out more of their powers and such, check out Wikipedia)'

'Kevin: And since you can’t die… FIGHT AGAINST SEPHIROTH!! (He’s from Final Fantasy VII and Kingdom Hearts. Also look up his picture on deviantart.)'

'The Eds: Wanna have another go on the sugar craziness? If so, then annoy the hell out of Kevin in your sugar buzz!'

Sarah: Get eaten by… something that the author will think of.

Nazz: *hands her a beam that gives her super strength* Give Kevin and Sarah a piece of your mind!

'And… that’s it from me! Update soon plz!'

Edfan: *memory comes back* Organization, hmm?

One cosplay later, that somehow ends up with everyone covered in peanut butter (sorry aqua, it’s just that I don’t any Kingdom Hearts really, and I really don’t want to go through too much trouble here.)

Edfan: However, Sephiroth is one Kingdom Hearts character I do know.

Eddy: How come?

Edfan: Well, I saw a fighting game called MUGEN for the PC (you download characters and stages and fight using a Street Fighter fighting style) and I heard that Sephiroth is one of the cheapest characters.

Ryan: And one of the damn bloodiest!

Edfan: So true. Anyways, Sephiroth, the dork’s all yours!

Sephiroth: DIE!!

One extreme owning and failure later

Sephiroth: AHH!! I CAN’T KILL HIM! I tore him apart, I mutilated him, he’s covered in blood but he’s STILL ALIVE!!! I have lost my honor, for I could not destroy him! I LOST MY HONOR!! *runs away crying*

Edfan: … He might be even weirder than Jason when I called him ugly.

Tyler: *hands each Ed a sugary Jawbreaker and runs into the shelter with everyone else besides Kevin, who is still mutilated, alive, and tied to the scam*

Ed: WINSUIHRUWH! (translater on) WOOOHOOO!! I HAZ TOO MUCH ZUGAR!! SAMEASALETTERQ!! (Woohoo! I had too much sugar! Same as a letter Q)

Double D: ILIKEZCHEEZBUGER!CHEEZBURGER! (I likes Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger!)

Eddy: MAMAATEMYTURTLE!! (mama ate my turtle!)

Ed: MEOWNKEVINRIGHTNOW!!! (Me own Kevin Right now!)

Eddy: NOTIFIDOITFIRST! (Not if I do it first!)

Double D: NOYOU!IDOIT!! (No you! I do it)

Eddy: IWANNAPLAYWITHACABBAGE! (I wanna play with a cabbage)

Ed: THISCABBAGEWON’TSPEAKSPANISH!! (This cabbage won’t speak Spanish)

Kevin: *his head explodes, but is still alive*

About 2 hours later…

Nazz: *eats the bean and OBLITERATES Sarah, and OBLITERATES Kevin, but it doesn’t kill him*

Edfan: … and I think we should go onto the next dares…

Tyler: Let ‘m in!

From greenthunder17

'me: i thought it was obvious that I took it from you guys without you knowing it oh and I don’t mind that you hate naruto it is just the abuse anyway on to the dares kevin dare: turn into a female maid and have to do whatever the eds want the ultimate non-painful torture for him eddy dare: hey look Sarah and kevin *hands eddy a clever* KILL'

'me: now to the truth ed how did you enjoy your soap wash me: and that is it'

Edfan: Where’s that gun you stole, Ryan?

Ryan: It’s still here *holds up a genderswap gun and shoots Kevin*

Eddy: I think you should give it back…

Ryan: Why the hell would I do that?

Everyone: *points to a truck sized hole in the wall and a REALLY angry little girl*

Ryan: … whatever… *gives the gun back*

Kelly: Why does everyone hate me?! And why do I suddenly know what boy bands are awesome?!

Another 5 seconds later…

Ed: SLAVE!! Where is my soup?!

Kelly: Coming!! *gives him soup*

Ed: NO! It is too late! *pours it on Kelly* BAD SLAVE!! *whips her, while everyone else does as well*

Edfan: Looks like it did give her pain.

Eddy: *holding a clever* KAMIKAZI!! *slices Sarah in half and mashes Kelly several times*

Edfan: *revives Sarah*

Ed: It was so cold… So wet… *goes into a fetal position while Double D gives him reassurance*

One of the kitties from the KAORK: *walks in and gives Edfan 2 letters before running back to her master*

Edfan: Here you go Ed.

Ed: Thank you guys!

Edfan: *rips open letter to see next dares*

From Kat and Nini

'Kat: Oh, a letter! *reads it* Aww, how sweet! Thankfully I have learned to read this odd language. *writes back* “u r veeri wellcume. Frum Katt nd Ninii. *has a rabid kitten send it*'

'Nini: Yes, very welcome. Now that that’s done, and Kat has had her catEdd time, we both have dares to send in!'

'Kevin- Endure anything and everything that Zark has to send your way. That’s a lot of pain for someone who cannot die, yes? Oh, and also… *pushes into Mallet of Doom for electrocution* Nazz- You can either join Kevin, or eat this year-old sandwich that we found under Ed’s pillow. Pick one and do it! Kankers (all three)- Try this new brand of facial mud pack that will make your skin silky smooth, guaranteed! *Adds super glue to the mix without anyone looking* Double D- (Nini once again) Well excuse me! You’re lucky that Kat likes you. She’s going to attempt to save you from the forced marriage, but I don’t think she’ll succeed- *gets hit in the head* Ow! Ed- *gives dynamite* Go blow stuff up! :D Eddu- Well, we’re feeling a little more generous now…So here’s one BILLION dollars! Though, who’s to say that Edfan765 won’t do anything to ruin the moment? *hint hint*'

'Kat: Jimmy! Where’s that essay?! It should have been done before the chapter ended! *electrocutes with Mallet of Doom*'

Nini: Yep, it’s tough to be an author/authoress, and now he should know by now…This should be fun.

Zark: *arms, lasers, rockets, missiles, spikes, DA ROLLER ROLLA!! (a giant steamroller that goes WWWRRRYYYYY!!! When it squishes someone), rabid doggies, a paintball machine gun, and actual machine gun, an evil chili dog, the X-treme fattening bacon from Ultraman’s duel from the last chapter, and many other weapons that the author cannot write, lest the fiction become 2000 words longer* Target sighted. Initiating attack run. *blasts Kelly to the EXTREME with all the said weapons. However, she survives despite being mutilated, covered in blood, and blown into itty bitty pieces with her organs everywhere*

Nazz: *gulps as Zark aims all of the weapons at her* I’d go with the sandwich after seeing that *points at Kelly’s dead body*

Ed: *holds up a sandwich, that has moldy green bread, fungi growing all over it, brown lettuce, rotten tomatoes, and worst of all… IT’S ON WHEAT BREAD!!* They sent it to me! Now you must eat it! *shoves it in Nazz’s throat while she is screaming* I just shoved a deadly sandwich in your throat!

Lee: I don’t have a good feeling about this.

Edfan: *trying to keep the gag as a trick* Why?

Lee: Every time they dare, we always end up on their hit list.

Ryan: Just put the damn mud on your face before I genderswap you! *holds up a genderswap gun*

Edfan: You stole it again?!

Ryan: *shoots Kelly to turn her back* If she catches us again, we blame Kevin, agreed?

Edfan: … sure.

Kankers: *put on said mud*

May: They’re right! I can feel my skin becoming silky smooth already!

Marie: Kinda horny if you ask me…

Lee: *tries to take the mud off, but it’s stuck* HEY! HELP ME!!

Edfan: Okay… Let’s hope I can do this right… *arms a big chainsaw*

Kankers: *screams in unison*

One Mud-removal later*

Edfan: Now how did I miss all of their heads?

Eddy: HA! You ended up sawing their heads off!

Kevin: HA! Looks like my bad luck is rubbing off them! *gets hit in the head with a chandelier*

Edfan: Two words.

Tyler: Epic

Eddy: Jinx

MEANWHILE

Nini: Are you sure you want to do this?

Kat: Oh yes I’m sure! *jumps into a time machine, whatever that looks like*

2 weeks ago

Captain Falcon: I’m only doing this so I get paid.

Pikachu: Ditto

Ultraman: Do you-

Kat: *appears and starts blowing a lot stuff up to prevent forced marriage*

Captain Falcon: AHH!! WEDDING CRASHER!! *gets the hell outa there and the entire church falls apart*

Present day

Ed: Yay! Explodo!

Eddy: You better not ruin this, Edfan!

Edfan: Don’t worry I won’t…

Ed: *throws the dynamite to blow up the HUGE stack of cash that was for Eddy* YAY!!

Eddy: ED YOU IDIOT!! *attempts to choke Ed, but he is unfazed by it*

Jimmy: The letter wasn’t my fault! I was 1 word short!! *sobs on the grounds while getting electrocute by the Mallet of Doom* (thinking) not gonna complain, not gonna complain, not gonna complain

Edfan: Next dares please!

From Easymac120

'O! Dynamite, eh? *blows up Ryan*'

'Dares: 1)Girls: Mud-wrestle each other. The winner gets to hear a lovely guitar song from my OC Kyle. 2)Everyone: My OC Zoe has unleashed all the zoo animals from the local zoo. RUN FOR YOUR FREAKIN LIVES! 3)Everyone: Eddy’s brother and the Gourd are back, with a vengeance!! And they have Bowser, Ganondorf, King Dedede, Akatsuki (from Naruto), Sephiroth, every killer that appeared so far, and Gour’s army of mutant squash!! EPIC BATTLE!'

'Truths: 1)Eds: How does it feel to be popular and being friends with everyone at the end of BPS? 2)Jonny: Are you gonna go through with the whole Gourd thing? 3)All: If there’s a another season, how do you think you’ll pull it off?'

'I probably won’t review again for a while because I’m moving to a new home. See ya later!!'

Edfan: Hope everything goes well!

Ryan: *BOOM!*

Edfan: Must… resist… urge to… not revive him *regretfully revives him*

Sarah, Kankers, and Nazz: *fiercely mud wrestles each other, only for all of them to fall into a huge crater that says “WELCOME TO HELL”*

Edfan: Ooo… ouch. Sorry Kyle, maybe next time.

Kyle: No problem. *leaves*

Tyler: How did he tame Sarah in the Teen Series?

Anthon: We may never know!

Zoe: HEY GUYS!! By the way, I-

Edfan: We know, you unleashed the zoo animals again.

Zoe: *nods her head vigorously*

Edfan: *facepalms* Okay, all in favor of throwing Kevin into the rampaging animals say I

Everyone: I (Ed: Eye!)

Kevin: NOT FAIR! *Get’s thrown into the rampaging animals and SQUEESHED

Animals: *rampage right past all of the cast and goes off rampaging somewhere else*

Killers: DIE YOU!

Edfan: *notices Ganondorf* You… You… *pounces on him and TEARS HIM APART INTO ITTY BITTY PIECES* YOU MUST GO TO FREAKIN HELL!!! *revives Ganondorf and kills him several times*

Ganondorf: What do you have against me?! I’m your 4th best!

Edfan: THIS!! *shows everyone a very demented fan picture of he and Zelda… you don’t wanna know. Trust me*

Everyone: AHH!!! KILL HIM!!

Lots of Ganondork bashing later

Edfan: *blasts him one more time* Talk about wimp! And you! *kills Akatsuki in the same fashion* DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!

Eddy: *with a peanut* TAKE THIS!! *throws the peanut at Jason and calls him ugly*

Jason: YOU’RE SO MEAN!!! *Runs away crying*

Ed: *eats all the squash and beats up Freddy with a Pomeranian* HAHA! *burps so loudly it moves the Moon away from earth by 2000 feet*

Edfan: *has an epic sword battle with his therapist* You’re pure evil! You must die!

Therapist: Aren’t you forgetting something?! I KNOW YOUR WEAKNESS!!

Edfan: And what would that be?

Therapist: *evilly grins* HOMOS!! *whistles to signal a bunch of gay people to go *censor* Edfan*

Edfan: *Gasps* AHH!! DAMMIT ALL!! *starts shooting all of them and escapes by hiding in the “Anti-gay people bunker”*

Tyler: AHH!! RUN!!

Everyone: *runs into the said bunker*

Edfan: The only thing that can overpower me is a ton of yaoi fans! DAMMIT ALL!

Tyler: *with a machine gun, killing as many gay people as possible* Well I need a supply back! My gun’s nearly out of ammo!

Edfan: *smirks* Gimmie that! If there’s one thing I know how to do with an Mg… *grabs the MG* is how to act like a sniper with one…

A ton of headshots later

Therapist: NOOO!!! I WILL RETURN TO MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL!!! *disappears*

Double D: Well, it was very nice for a while. But Eddy decided to host another scam and lost our friendship with everyone else.

Edfan: So everything’s back to normal.

Jonny: I’m not really gonna go through the whole Gourd, actually. After the whole Ed incident, they told me why they beat me up and I understood. So I’m sticking to Captain Melonhead!

Eddy: Another season? Well… I’D GO TAKE MY FRUSTRATION OUT ON KEVIN! The movie already said “The End!”

Everyone else: Ditto

Kevin: Yeah, blame me for everything! *Falls over*

From EdEddEddyNYoshi

'Dynamite! Yippee! *Blows up Sarah.* Oops.'

'Dares: Edfan: Write a billion page essay on why you hate Naruto and mail it to him. Ed: Swim in a pool of soap until Anthon says you can stop. Edd: *Sends him to Yoshi’s island.* Have fun! Eddy: Take over Ed or Dare for the rest of the chapter! Kevin: Looks like the Houndooms are hungry again! Stay in the Houndoom pit where you’ll be torn to shreds until EVERYONE in the universe agrees to let you out! All Planks: Throw Jonny into a wood shredder.'

'Truths: Jonny: Do you think the Slovak jawbreakers are better than regulars ones? You’re the only one who ever tasted one. Edfan: If Naruto ever got better would you like him? Ed: If you had to kill one of your best friends, who would it be? Everyone: Which color Yoshi is each of yours favorite? *Attaches lie detectors on them.* Oh yeah, if you think Green Yoshis are best you will get shocked, lie or not,'

*sends acid *root beer* to Kevin.* Hope you like it Kevin!

Edfan: Actually… *holds up a one billilon and two page essay* I already had one. *shoves it in the postbox*

Ed: SOAP!!! *runs out of the studio*

Edfan: Rolf, please go retrieve him.

Rolf: *leaves with 3 shoes* Get back here Ed-boy or face Rolf’s three shoe beating!!

Double D: *disappears and appears on Yoshi’s island* Oh my!

Green Yoshi: Yum yum, he looks gooda!

Yellow Yoshi: Oh very yes gooda!

Red: Yoshi: Let’s eat him!

Blue Yoshi: Or baste him and cook him-

Cyan Yoshi: Until golden brown!

Orange Yoshi: Or we can eat him with a side of fruit.

All the Yoshis: *talk to themselves in agreement* ATTACK!! *all of the Yoshi’s on the island go and chase Double D*

Back at the studio

Eddy: HA! KING ME BABY!!

Edfan: Damn…

Tyler: I have to be a co-host to Eddy?

Eddy: Get me a snow cone, slave!

Anthon, Ryan, and Tyler: I quit.

Eddy: DARN IT!!

Kevin: NOO!! I WILL BE EATEN, MUTILATED, AND OWNED! Again!

Eddy: *pushes Kevin into the Houndoom pit* I’ll never agree to let you out!

Everyone: *looking into the Houndoom pit*

Edfan: *Turning green* Even if his blood is being splattered everywhere?

Tyler: Or his bones are being snapped and eaten?

Anthon: Or even if they are squishing and chomping his brain like zombies?

Lots of “Or even if’s” later…

Eddy: Okay… You win…

Planks 1-4: *throw Jonny into the woodchipper (somehow) without any remorse*

Edfan: Okay, since you’re the host Eddy, you are the one who has to revive people.

Eddy: Right… now how do I do this? *tries using the stay, but sends an explosion to Kevin* Oops… NOT!

Edfan: And also… *gives him a ton of paper work* You also have to fill these out too.

Eddy: That’s not so bad…

Edfan: And you also have to take care of my other fictions.

Eddy: AHH!! TOO MUCH WORK! Keep your author status!

Edfan: *smirks and revives Jonny* So, what is your response?

Jonny: They are really sugary! And addictive! I want another one! And 4 more for my friends, the Planks!

Edfan: And for your question, possibly. Because I actually like ninjas, just hate Naruto. If I can find an even worse cartoon then possibly.

Tyler: In that case… *shows Edfan Nickelodeon* This.

Edfan: HOLY CRAP!! THAT IS THE WORST PROGRAMMING IN THE WORLD!! IT MAKES KEVIN LOOK POPULAR!! THIS IS THE GAYEST THING SINCE ELMO! THE DUMBEST THING SINCE BARNEY!! THE EVILEST THING SINCE MY THERAPIST, ULTRAMAN, AND PLANK COMBINED!! *melts*

Anthon: I think he just found a new hate.

Tyler: It’s so official, I’ll have to put it in Bold and underline! Edfan’s #1 hate is now “Fanboy and Chum Chum!”

Edfan: *revives self, somehow*

Ed: What?

Edfan: His answer is incompatible. Please try again after this short commercial break.

'Okay guys, take a good look at this next commercial. If you can help support it, I’d be grateful.'

How many times has this happened to you?

'You must ****ing die, you **stard! Go to ****ing Hell you damn *****!!'

'''If you’ve been attacked from something like this, then you’re not alone! Join the Anti-Flamer Army, led by PitFTW, and golfer. Stop those flamers!'''

'''It’s so very common, in this world. You can help us rid of them for good!'''

'''To join, you may want to understand the psychology of the flamer. Well, flamers flame for several reasons, including:'''

1: The burn (quite literally) with jealousy.

2: They believe the story is plagiarism.

3: They just don’t like the author.

4: In the story, a favorite character of theirs get bashed.

5: They have nothing better to do

'''Pledge your support and join us! To join, please PM PitFTW or golfer. Thank you for reading this, and please continue on with this fiction. We’re gonna need more members before we can do something big.'''

Edfan: Okay, we’re back. Ed doesn’t really care, considering that no matter what, I always end up reviving them. Next question. Okay, mine is blue, but I don’t really think anyone would really care. I mean, the Yoshis are all the same, just different color.

Kevin: Finally someone appreciates me! *drinks the root beer, only to melt*

Edfan: Psyche!

From EarthDude

'Uhh Plank “Gives him 500 bucks and rocket launcher” Go crazy with it. Wheres my voddo doll!'

'Kevin: Time to face the power of sporks. Stab both of them in his eye.'

Jimmy: Hit on Ed’s T.V, then make out with it

'Edfan: Here’s my dynamite. Throw it anyone “Coughsarahcough”'

'Jonny: Ingest 20 mammoth jawbreakers, and chase Nazz, Anthon, and Ed around with a grenade launcher until all three are dead. Then go jump in a shark infested lake wearing a bloody meat necklace, and if that doesn’t all kill you, beat Kevin to a bloody pulp.'

'Kevin: Since wheel of death is out of the question it’s time for WHEEL OF TOITURE! And Tyler is our thrower this time around.'

Nazz: Dink and immortality potion, cut off your limbs, stich them up so you won’t die of blood loss, at which point it will wear off.

Eddy: 20 bucks for ya if you use Edfan’s new cross to kill “Changes double D into Double D the Friendly Vampire” vampire Double D”

'Ed:Become quarte wolf, quarter man, and half werewolf (do not question my logic) and devour Kevin. Stay in this form into the end of the chapter.'

'Marie: Go have your “honeymoon” “wink wink” with Edd. Name your kid after me!'

Zark: Eat and digest three random people (Besides Kevin, but you can torture him in other parts)

Tyler, Edfan, and Anthon: Reanact the Bugs Bunn, Daffy Dsuck, and Elmer Fudd scene from looney toons.

'Kankers: Three-way Poke battle. Articono ,Moltres, and Zapdos. (Sorry if I spelt tghose wrong.)'

Kevin: Give all of you garage full of jawbreakers to the Ed’s, and watch them enjoy and eat them.

'Johnny: Sing a parody of “In The End” by Linkin Park involving wood. Look it up on Youtube for original lyrics.'

Truths:

Everyone: Books, tele3vision?

Everyone: Who would you most want to kill from the cul-da-sac or hosts.

Questions

'Who did Eddy take as his protégé? (Come on, this answer is too obvious)'

Who was the better scammer (It’s not really official, so this question is skipped)

Plank: *falls over on a catapult that launches a Kevin Voodoo doll to Earthdude.

Edfan: *pokes Kevin’s eyes out with half fork half spoon utensils*

Kevin: I CAN’T SEE!!

Jimmy: What does “hitting on” mean?

Edfan: To flirt with. And you must do it with Ed’s TV.

Jimmy: … Can I skip the first part?

Edfan: Just this once… But, that’s a price to pay. *throws Jimmy under Ed’s bed, and revives him* Now kiss the TV!

Jimmy: *runs to Ed’s house*

Edfan: Wait a sec, where does everyone keep getting this dynamite from? (Plank sent these to you, not Edfan) Oh well. *throws it away, only for it to land on Sarah’s head and go KABOOM!*

Jonny: How big are mammoth jawbreakers?

Eddy: The size of pool balls. Just like ours.

One Extreme sugar buzz, and 3 brutal killings later*

Jonny: *jumps into a shark infested lake with a necklace made out of pork, beef, duck, sausage, bacon, you get the point* HI SHARKIES!!

Sharks: *all the sharks besides one attack him*

Shark #1: Hey Ted, why aren’t you attacking him?

Ted the Shark: I’m on a diet.

One big Nom nom 4 fuds fest later

Tyler: Haha! Wheel of Torture time! What are today’s categories?

A block of cheese-Make out with Sheldon Jr.

A PS3 controller-Everyone gets to beat Kevin with wireless controllers

Plank-Plank will completely OWN you

Television-Watch 30 minutes of Barney

A picture of several Team Fortress characters-Soldier gets to make a guest appearance and claims Kevin as a spy (and completely own him)

Tyler: *with a blindfold on* Let’s make this shot count! *throws a dart* Did I hit something?

Kevin: HELL YEAH YOU DID!! IN MY FREAKIN CROTCH!!

Everyone: *laughs hysterically*

Edfan: *wipes a tear* I think that’ll be enough with the “Wheel of Torture”

Nazz: *Drinks an immortality potion* Now I have to cut off my limbs? Not cool, I can tell you that. *Cuts limbs off, and tries to find a sewing kit somewhere*

Tyler: *snickers* Better hurry! The immortality potion ends in… about… No seconds.

Nazz: *dies instantly*

Edfan: *puts Nazz back together and revives her* EPIC FAIL!

Double D: *turns into Double D the Friendly Vampire” Don’t you dare kill me Eddy!

Eddy: Does it really matter? I mean, Edfan’s gonna revive you anyway! *grabs a hammer, nails, and Double D’s neck and hangs him* Where’s my money?

Ed: I question nothing! *turns into a wolfman-werewolf-thingie and eats Kevin. But he survives* Delicious!

Marie: First of all, I think honeymoons are supposed to be like a year after someone is married. And Second, we’re not married. And Third, how am I supposed to force a honeymoon on a dead vampire?

Edfan: Yeah…

Zark: RAWR!!! *eats Tyler, Eddy, and Lee, before starting to go on an eating spree in the Fanboy and Chum Chum universe*

Edfan: Okay then… weird…

One Looney Toons impersonation later…

Kankers: *start having an epic poke’mon battle*

Edfan: Okay… very weird. Anyways, give the jawbreakers to the Eds, Kevin!

Kevin: WHY MUST YOU PEOPLE TORMENT ME?!?! *gives (a really big number) to the Eds*

Jonny: About wood? Edfan, I need some remixing, right now!

Edfan: On it.

'BIG NOTICE: Okay, a lot of these lyrics are gonna be the same. I can’t really think of any good wood-related things for the song. Sorry!'

'It starts with one thing. You don’t know why, It doesn’t even matter how much wood you pry'

'Keep this in mind. I created this rhyme to explain about in this time All the wood.'

'Nature is precious thing Watch it destroyed as the chainsaw swings. Watch it fall down ‘til the end of the day, The weapon axes life away. It’s so unreal…'

'Didn’t look out below. Watch the ash go right out the window'

'Trying to hold on, But I didn’t even know, I wasted so much just to watch you go I kept everything inside'

'and even though I tried, it all fell apart, What it meant to me Will eventually be a memory of a time when'

'I tried so hard, and got so far but in the end it doesn’t even matter. I had to burn, to save us all. but in the end it doesn’t even matter'

'One thing, I don’t know why It doesn’t even matter how hard I try Please keep in mind, I made rhyme,'

'To remind myself how I tried so hard, In spite of the way you were laughing at me Acting like nature was part of your property'

'Remembering all the times You’ve fought with me I’m surprised I got so far Things aren’t the way they were before'

'You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore not that you knew me back then but it all comes back to me In the end'

'You kept everything inside And even though I tried, it all fell apart what it meant to be Will eventually be a memory of a time when'

'I tried so hard, and got so far but in the end it doesn’t even matter. I had to burn, to save us all. but in the end it doesn’t even matter'

'I put my trust in you Pushed as far as I can go and for all this there’s only one thing you should know'

'I put my trust in you Pushed as far as I can go and for all this there’s only one thing you should know'

'I tried so hard, and got so far but in the end it doesn’t even matter. I had to burn, to save us all. but in the end it doesn’t even matter'

Edfan: I’d go with TV. But I’d pick fanfic over TV, personally.

Tyler: Well technically everyone besides Double D would obviously pick television. But, still.

Edfan: Anyways, I’d definitely kill (you know who). But, I’m sure that nearly everyone here would probably want to kill me, considering I’ve been ruining their lives since 2 months ago, when I started the fiction.

Tyler: Here are the next dares. *gives Edfan a piece of paper*

From Dnny By

Oh my god

That Edfansukz note makes a hell of a lot of sense

it’s either that, or these

Truths

'Jimmy: why are you such a darn crybaby Johnny: why can’t you get it through your thick skull that Plank can’t walk, because he absorbed some capri-ed and died of poisoning Nazz: gimme three reasons your Hot'

Dares

'Kevin: eat your hat,shave your head and Sing the gayest song that anyone has ever Composed Eddy: do the thriller dance, and if you can, you eat a luxury meal,if you can’t you mush shave your head Sarah: Perform in a pornographic film, be a big ** superstar,then show the film to the others, and kiss anyone that barfs at any scene in the film'

Which ever you’ll pick, i’ll be greatful for, and here are the rights to Capri-Ed back to you

Edfan: Err… should I be glad, or offended?

Tyler: Go with glad, no one gets hurt that way.

Jimmy: *starts tearing because the note called him a crybaby* It’s not my fault I cry so much!! *cries a huge river, and everyone has to jump into boats in order to survive.

Jonny: PLANK DIED?! NOO!!!

Plank 1: Actually, it was Plank 3 that ended up dying of poison.

Plank 2: But, it does not matter. We shall rule the world with our army of Planks!

Plank 4: Indeed. But right now, we are restricted to use our powers, until forced to from a dare.

Nazz: I don’t get your question…

Edfan: Don’t you think the answer is a little… obvious?

Tyler: This is more like a question regarding on the physical appearance, in which we cannot answer.

Kevin: *eats hat* It’s actually pretty good. And my head is already shaved.

Edfan: *shaves off those 3 hairs that are tall* There, now it’s shaved.

Kevin: What’s next? *notices next dare* NOO!!! MY LIFE IS HELL HERE!! GET ME OUT!!

Edfan: NO!

Kevin: *gulps* I love you-

Edfan: *blows up Kevin’s head* Now, that… *shivers* Now that’s too hardcore…

Eddy: *does the thriller, and somehow actually gets applause instead of tomatoes* Wow! I just did a ridiculous dance and I didn’t get pelted to near-death! *gets pelted* What was that for?!

Tyler: Sorry, my hand slipped. *snickers*

Eddy: At least I’m getting an ultimate dinner tonight.

Edfan: Umm… that’s just… umm…

Anthon: PURE EVIL!

Edfan: … Right… but unfortunately, a dare’s a dare.

Next scene censored due to porn and yuri

Edfan: *brushes mouth out with soap while shooting Sarah many times* I learned one thing today… Sarah tastes like raw sewage. Please get on with the next dares. We’re nearly done…

From Homeydaclown

'Entertaining fic. Here’s my dares.'

'Kevin, Sarah & Kankers: Get beat up by me & my main two OC’s. Double D: Give Ed a kiss. Eddy: Go to the South Park universe & cause chaos. Nazz: Get beat up by Chuck Norris & Steve Wilkos. Ed: Eat truckloads of Big Macs until you explode. Rolf: Kiss Nazz. Jonny: Get tied up & watch Rick Roll on yourube for 12 hours. Double D: Give Sarah a passionate kiss.'

That’s all for now.

Edfan: Bring in the clown!

4 brutal killings, and 1 brutal killing that epically failed later…

Edfan: *revives Sarah and the Kankers and reads Double D’s first dare* AHH!! YOAI!! I’M BLOCKING THIS NEXT SCENE!!

One yoai scene, “YOAI BAD!!”, and Anti-Yoai Yuri Blast later…

Eddy: I know just the weapon… *grabs several of the magazines that Ultraman used to melt Kevin’s eyeballs out and runs out the door*

MEANWHILE

Eddy: *blinding Kenny* MWAHAHA!!!

Kenny: *dies*

Some random guy: OMG YOU KILLED KENNAY!! LET’S GET ‘EM!!

OWNAGE!!

Back at the studio… again…

Chuck and Steve: *crash through the ceiling unscratched* DIE BLONDE!

Nazz: *gets totally OWNED by two indestructible guys*

Ed: *eats way too many big macs* I think I’m gonna… explo- *BOOM!!!*

Edfan: Actually, he already exploded into food a few chapters ago. *revives Ed*

Ed: Wow! That felt good to be revived!

Rolf: A lip to lip feast again? Why must Rolf always have the bargain of the ner-do-els? *kisses Nazz and spits into another direction* You are right, Ed-boy worshipper. She indeed tastes like used toilet water!

Ryan: *arms a lot of rope, and a chair to restrain Jonny* Say good bye, Jonny! *switches the Computer to a Rick Astley Video*

Jonny: *his ears pop off and his eyes melt* AHH!!!

Double D: Honestly! First you tell me to kiss Ed, now Sarah? How grotesque.

Sarah: *forces Double D to kiss her* I knew you liked me!

Double D: Actually, you kissed me, Sarah.

Edfan: Right… Anyways, we have one last entrée… in PM form…

From Krazzeekman

'Hey! I’ve been reading for a while and thought “Krazz, you have an AMAZINGLY sadistic mind. Why not use it to help Edfan torture people?” so here are my dares:'

'Ed- Secretly assasinate your "dare-proclaimed" wife and go off with May Edd- divorce Marie then place upon yourself the armor that won't break (unknown to everybody, armor will break as soon as someone touches it) Eddy- take a brief case with a million dolars in it and go through the den of thieves Kevin- YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED!!! I shall come to that studio and engage in the pwnage of the noob bcuz I m 1337! Then I will make myself availiable for dares ( I mght even dare myself!) Nazz- YOU SANG BARBIE GIRLS!!! FACE SUPREME PUNISHMENT!!! Go on a 2 hr date with Kevin (don't be sad, cuz after a half hour you can take my sword and chop him up into micro pieces!) Jimmy- So you don't like Kat and Nini's easy chores, huh? Try mine! Clean my sword (which constantly blasts anyone I do not permit to touch it) feed my wolf dogs (they're Jimmy eaters!) and try to solve the problem Edfan gives you (problem must be so hard his head explodes) Sarah- Make out with Edd to see what happens Rolf- go into the world of teen slang and stay there for a year (I'm tired of his foreign ways) Zark- become my personal butler when I come (have him serve me a bunch of sprites) Julian- Make out with this dairy cow that I now pull out of my pants Ryan- go into the masses of Edd fans with a sockhat on Tyler- take my sword and commit hari-kari (suicide by death of sword) Anthon- have a Monster. Let's watch the destruction of the studio Edfan- first you and me will have an all-out battle! I amyour equal, and there will be nooutside help, so, in detail, this will be awesome. And don't be biased just cuz your the author. Then, you and me against your therapist. We will be 1337.'

Edfan: I don’t even think Ed can even understand what that meant.

Ed: What? *randomly throws a dynamite into a random direction, where it lands on Liam’s poor OC, spider thing*

Tyler: Weird.

Double D: Luckily for me, I had never ended up marrying anyone, thanks to Kat. Does this still mean I have to go into the armor?

Everyone: Yes.

Eddy: *runs through a den filled with thieves, and comes out the other side* That was easy! And I still have my briefcase!

A random Thieve (or an ART): *quickly steals the case and runs back into the den*

Eddy: NOO!! *runs back in only to get killed by random dingoes*

Kevin: I didn’t even do anything to you!! *gets totally OWNED by Krazz, but lives*

Krazz: *smirks, and OWNS Kevin to the extreme*

Edfan: Sorry, but you can’t make yourself available for dares. In fact, Julian the bull, and ZARK aren’t even supposed to be dared. They are only here in case they are needed to torture someone via: dare. I mean like, “Kevin: Get run over by Julian” or something.

Krazz: Oh well.

Nazz: Kevin? No way! No one likes him because he’s a dork. Even the people who really do like him still kill him for saying dork all the time!

Krazz: *shows her the last part of her dare*

Nazz: Oh…

Thirty minutes later

Nazz: *constantly stabs, and chops Kevin into tiny little pieces, and chops those pieces into pieces, and chops- well, they would probably be reduced to dust* DIE DIE DIE!!!

One and a half hours of stabbing and chopping

Jimmy: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE MAKING ME DO YOUR CHORES?!?! WHEN WILL THIS TORMENT END?!?!

Edfan: When Ed or Dare gets cancelled, and that’s not happening anytime soon.

Jimmy: *cleans Krazz’s sword, and gets blasted several times*

Krazz’s Jimmy Eating Wolf Doggies (Or the KJEWD): *rabidly starts eating Jimmy alive*

Edfan: *Revives Jimmy* Now solve… THIS!

Jimmy: What is 2 + 3… x 6 – 64 + 25% of 4515 + 51 x 53 - 6436 + 42 x 534 *A lot of numbers later* DIVIDED BY THE SPACETIME CONTINUUMENT!!! *Explodes*

Edfan: Wrong answer! It was 2!

Sarah: Double- *notices Double D gone* Where is he?

Everyone: *points to the suit of armor*

Sarah: *attempts to kiss Double D in the armor suit, but it tumbles over and kills them both*

Rolf: *talks a ton in his own foreign language that kinda sounds like hasture posture gesture, hasmustarn as slow as buttened fingeredstwart!*

Krazz: SHUT UP!! *pushes Rolf into a random portal*

Tyler: Isn’t that driving a sword through your stomach and bleeding until your dead?

Edfan: I think so… *hands him a random sword* And this is where, I read a book. *picks up a book called “One Trillion, Nine Hundred, Twenty three billion, four hundred and nineteen million Five Hundred six thousand four hundred and Ninty eight ways on how to torture green shirted dorks”*

Tyler: At least I die with dignity! *slits stomach, and died*

Anthon: WOOHOO! MONSTERS!!

Monster: (He’s all green and hairy with 6 eyes) !!!!

One eventfully show of a monster destroying a studio

Edfan: Okay, exactly why are you my equal?

Krazz: Just cause’

Edfan: Well, I know one new spell that you don’t know!

Krazz: Actually, I do!

Both of their staffs flash random colors, as a multi-colored blast is shot at each other, making themselves insane.

Edfan: I LIKEZ CHAIRZ! *punches Ed for no reason*

Krazz: WOOHOO!! *jumps into a bumper cart and runs over Eddy*

Nazz: RUN!!

One extreme spazz attack later

Edfan: Dang! You really are my equal. But, how’s about we forget the whole duel thing… *the entire resort is demolished, along with every structure 50 miles from the resort*

Krazz: Agreed. But, you have a visitor.

Therapist: MWAHAHA!! I’VE COME FOR YOUR FREAKIN’ SOUL!!

Edfan: EVIL DEMON FROM HADIES!! *Blasts him many times*

Krazz: *grins, and blasts the therapist too*

Therapist: *gets blown up* I’m indestructible!

Edfan: Wait a second… I know why! You’re not The therapist! You just have to put a space in his name somewhere and… HOLY CRAP!! RUN!!

The Rapist: MWAHA! NOTHING CAN DESTROY ME!!! *throws bombs everywhere, but they all bounce back to him, and EXPLODES!!* Owchiez… *dead*

Edfan: … Never again.

Krazz: Agreed. Well, maybe I should go. But can you teach me that Anti-Yaoi move?

Edfan: What’s in it for me?

Krazz: *holds up a cherry pie*

Edfan: Deal. *hands him a piece of paper, and throws the pie at Kevin’s face*

Krazz: See ya! *leaves*

Tyler: That’s not all of the dares yet. Last minute one, right here.

From juliarankin

':3 i shall be evil today! DARES: Edd:tale of your sock Eddy:kiss kevin Ed:kill a chicken Nazz:kiss Edd*:D* Kevin:get dog piled on by sumo wrestlers Rolf: eat my mom’s cooking! Jimmy: kill a bunny Johny:kill plank with Mr. Bang Bang Kankers: Kiss everyone in the room except the eds Edfan: either watch every single Narueto or let me and chuck Norris round house kick you *p.s.-I get to use my soccer cleats*'

Double D: “tale of my sock?” What kind of question is that?

Jonny: No clue. Let’s just go on!

Edfan: Are you serious? What is it with all these yoai dares?! The only thing I hate more than Naruto, Fanboy and Chum Chum, and Ganondork all combied is yaoi and yuri! I mean, it’s basically homo activity!

Tyler: And that’s why he always blocks them.

Edfan: Bingo.

'''Yoai Censored, and a signature YAOI BAD!! Is heard'''

Ed: *kills a chicken by throwing it into “The Chainsaw Massacre Pit”, and cries uncontrollably, and drowns Kevin with his tears*

Nazz: *kisses Double D, who is still in the armor*

Edfan: Doesn’t she always do that in that flash game, “Clash of the Idiots?”

Kevin: WHAT?!

Sumo 1: SUGIE UGIE!!

Kevin: *gets owned by 5 sumos, Jimmy, and Ed, because they were once sumos*

Rolf: *falls from the sky* Hi guys. Do I have to do a dare?

Edfan: HOLY CRAP!! ROLF ISN’T TALKING IN THIRD PERSON! IT’S THE END OF THE FREAKING WORLD!!!

Rolf: *eats a tray filled with… SPINACH!* IT BURNS ME!! *dies*

Jimmy: *Tries to squeeze a bunny to death, but dies from over exhaustion*

Tyler: Okay seriously, that’s getting pretty overused.

Jonny: *blows up Plank 2 with Mr. Bang Bang*

Plank 1: Oh no! These reviewers are trying to take us down, one by one!

Plank 4: Luckily for us, Planks 5 through 12 are still here! We can still rally up an army!

Plank 5: All we need is one of these reviewers to give us power and BAM! We rule the earth!

Plank 7: *glares at the reviewers* That means YOU! But if you help us, we will give you a free toaster! *Somehow, throws toasters to each reviewer*

Edfan: Oh great! This time Yuri!

Yuri Censored, and extreme make out scenes as well.

Edfan: *blows up the Kankers many time* … Oh boy, I’d rather go with the Naruto dare… In fast forward. We don’t have too much time.

About 220 episodes in a stupid fast speed later

Edfan: And now for the moment, we most likely wasn’t waiting for…

Tyler: Our contestants today, are Rolf, Double D, and… Julian the Bull?

Julian: *grunts*

Anthon: Who is Bobo, Rolf?

Rolf: Bobo is my giant clam that (for some disturbing reason) I keep in my pants!

Everyone: *stare at Rolf*

Edfan: When Kevin, Rolf, Jonny, and the Eds all bet against each other to put off their annoying habits, who was the one to win?

Double D: It was obviously Ed. Eddy got back at him by drenching him in butterscotch pudding.

Tyler: Isn’t ironic, how Ed has 4 allergens? (eels, dandelions, butterscotch, and rabbits)

Ryan: Now, Julian… Err, who did Eddy take as his protégé?

Julian: *leaves to go run over Kevin*

Ryan: … Weird…

Edfan: *sees Krazz’s questions* Okay, guys, first of all, you need to make sure that the answer is 100% percent true (Eddy’s favorite thing besides Money and jawbreakers has not been actually told in the show.) But we will do the Double D one.

Tyler: Rolf, what is Double D’s favorite pastime?

Rolf: I quit. Julian’s wetting the floor again. Easymac, I think the bull needs a diaper change.

Tyler: And Double D wins a free turkey for Thanksgiving day.

Edfan: *facepalms* And still you people don’t know why today is special, even though it’s not even Thanksgiving Day yet.

Eddy: No, why?

Edfan: *turns very red* '''IT’S MY FREAKIN’ BIRTHDAY!!!!! (If I told you my real age, I would have to kill you.) '''*starts blasting many people with Mr. Bang Bang, including Kevin, Nazz, Eddy, and a ton of other people. Watch out in case any nuclear missiles are heading towards your profile*

Tyler: In all the chaos, we wish you a good night!

Ryan: *runs away from Edfan* Okay, see ya next time!!

Ed: Bye bye! *gets blown up, along with everyone else*

'''Edfan: *Hides behind a huge-ass truck* Sorry for the EXTREME delay, but again, blame school. It really stopped my creative flow. I LOSING MY TOUCH!! *sulk* I know that you people want to skin me alive, rip off my limbs, feed it to Kevin, ripping off his head, play basketball with it, and then burn it, give it to cannibals while a random 4 thousand ton item SQUEESHES me.'''

'''Tyler: Edfan is considering a chapter possibly once a month or something. We know that you guys would want a lot more updates than that, but he’s already got his other stories to work on.'''

'''Edfan: If you don’t want to wait for me, then you can make your own EEnE T/D fic. I’m really working on the SSB stuff anyway.'''

Anthon: Okay, do we really need a disclaimer here?

Tyler: Honestly people, if Edfan really did own Ed Edd n Eddy, he would be a semi-millionaire and would not be continuing Ed or Dare on fanfiction, but instead creating season 7.

Anthon: And just make Ed or Dare a spin-off short series.

Tyler: And possibly make all of his OCs make cameo appearances in Ed, Edd n’ Eddy.

Edfan: And hire several of the fanfiction writers story board writers, despite them most likely being underaged.

'''Ryan: Edfan only owns Tyler, Anthon, and me. All other characters belong to their respective owners.'''

'''Anthon: Right! Now then… to the DAAAHH!!! Show!'''

Edfan: The dah show?

'''Anthon: No! The DAAAHH!!! Show, silly!'''

'''Tyler: Please ignore the following argument as I catapult cows to each reviewer to crush your most hated character with. *launches cows to all reviewers*'''

All: *start having a loud mouthy argument*

Our story begins with several characters inside the Ed or Dare studio.

Tyler: *holding up a list* Let’s see. How many times have the Eds broken the 4th wall… “Don’t adjust your set…” “Someone may be watching…” “Just stick to the script...”

Double D: *interrupting* 27.

Tyler: Right… *puts paper away* How about scams?

Double D: 116. In counting

Tyler: … scams that actually worked?

Double D: None.

Edfan: *busting through the door with Kevin’s hat* HA! YOU’LL NEVER GET ME, SUCKA!!

Kevin: *comes in through the door* Come on! That’s my only hat left! I mean you gave everyone my other ones!

Edfan: In that case… *throws his hat into the wood chipper*

Kevin: NO!! YOU DO-

Edfan: *arms Mr. Bang Bang*

Kevin: D-Dofus!

Edfan: *blasts him anyway* Rule one, NEVER INSULT AUTHORS

Eddy: So true. I learned that the hard way.

Sarah: You’d think he’d learn after about being blasted to bits (Insert ridiculously large number here) times.

Edfan: Yeah… Anyways, it’s show time.

Ed: Oh oh! Pick me!!

Edfan: Yes?

Ed: Umm… remember a month ago where you let that plumber come over here and fix our toilets?

Edfan: Luigi? Yeah.

Ed: Well, what about the new friend in the next episode?

Tyler: Oh yeah! I think this time it’s-

Anthon: *jumps on top of him and shuts his mouth* No spoilers!! *tips Tyler over*

Eddy: Where have I seen that before…?

Edfan: Let’s just start our show already. Get ready, and bring a first aid-kit.

Nazz: Why?

Edfan: Because of a certain green-shirted dork going to get his butt kicked constantly.

Jonny: Plank says “Or probably his crotch.”

Several hours later that pass in a ridiculously short amount of time…

Anthon: Welcome to the DAAAHH!!! Show!

Edfan: No, it’s “Welcome to Ed or Dare, the only Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy fiction scientifically proven to melt brains!”

Anthon: Oh… Welcome to Ed or Dare, the only Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy fiction scientifically proven to melt brains!

Tyler: Like so-

Kevin: *his head melts for no reason*

Edfan: *revives Kevin* Anyways… We begin our torture… *silence*

Eddy: Umm-

Edfan: SHH!

Double D: I don’t-

Ed and Edfan: SUSH!!


 * More silence…*

Edfan: *bringing a paper out of nowhere* Now!

From Homeycaclown

'Ha!Ha! Funny! I think, it’s time for my OCs to make another appearance. Here’s some.'

Kevin: Eat a Thanksgiving dinner made by my OC Mercedes.(But little do he know, that the entire dinner is made with stomach acid, sink cleaner, & bleach)If he refuses to eat it all, he gets burned by her trusty nuclear flamethrower.)

Double D: Get in a cooking battle with my other OC Penny & lose *get to guest star in the Camp Griffin Truth or Dare series.

Ed: Watch the Maury show, until your next dare.

Eddy: Restore the American economy with Penny.

Rolf: Find Osama Bin Laden.

Questions:

Eddy: How do you feel about the way you sound & act in Neo H.B.B. Sam’s Ed, Edd n Eddy’s last stand?

Nazz: What kind of last name is that?

Sarah: What’s Double D’s favorite food?

Kevin: A dinner? FINALLY SOMEONE APPRECIATES ME!!! *nearly spazzes out because no one had tried to kill him*

Mercedes: *snickers* That’s right, eat up.

Kevin: *takes a huge bite out of the turkey* YUCK! IT TASTES LIKE ACID, SINK CLEANER, AND BLEACH!!

Edfan: How do you know what that stuff tastes like?!

Kevin: Believe me, these guys have tortured me enough, I know what every deadly thing to humanity tastes like!

Mercedes: And you have to eat it all! *shows him a huge banquet that would be enough to feed 6 sumos and Ed for a week*

Kevin: You all hate me!! WHY?!

Edfan: *snickers* The same reason I hate multiple other characters as well.

Kevin: *sulks while eating the rest of the stuff with a nuclear flamethrower aimed at his head*

Double D: ‘Get in a cooking battle?’ I believe it’s, ‘Get into a cooking battle’

Edfan: Quit spotting grammar errors, and just get into an epic cooking battle.

Ed: *wearing a fancy Italian-a mustachio and chef’s hat and robe* And-a today’s dish is… Fried Eddy? *realizes the cooking book he has is called “Cannibal’s top 50 dishes (Cook your friends in more way than one!)”*

Double D: *Uses a large butcher knife to slice Eddy into itty-bitty pieces*

Penny: *does the same*

Ed: What’s the Maury show?

Nazz: I’ve seen that before. Don’t make him watch it!

Double D: Why not?

Nazz: Trust me, it’s a sitcom.

FLASHBACK

TV: It’s time for… Maury.

Nazz: *falls asleep immediately*

TV: *changes into a 5 star rock-and-roll channel with no commercial breaks on their 14-hour marathon, but Nazz is still asleep*

Flashback Ends

Nazz: So don’t watch it.

Ryan: A dare is a dare. *turns the TV on, and it goes onto the Maury channel*

TV announcer: In tonight’s episode of Maury-

Everyone: *falls asleep*

TV announcer: We show you, that people have incredible skill! Tonight, we feature, a child that plays Guitar Hero 5 on expert-hardest song with the guitar while solving 2 Rubik Cubes; The world’s heaviest slob, and a guy who plays an actual Electric guitar on the same GH song while solving 3 Rubix Cubes, and much, much more!

8-12 hours of Epic Awesomeness and sleeping later

Ed: *awakens drowsily* Is it over yet…?

Edfan: Not until your next dare.

Ed: *falls asleep while an 8 year old eats the world’s largest cheeseburger and finishes it*

Edfan: *revives a chopped up Eddy* You lost Double D, guest star for you!

Double D: Oh Lord please no! *gets dragged by the feet away by 2 beefy security guards* HELP ME!!

Tyler: *wearing earmuffs* What was that?

Edfan: *revives Eddy* And here comes the Double D clone. *Edd arrives*

Eddy: What the Hell?

Penny: I don’t know what he’s thinking of either. Let’ just go. *drags Eddy by the collar of his shirt away*

Edfan: Brave soul he is… Okay Rolf, time to do your insanely random dare!

Jonny: That’s not random! This is! *hops on a leg, stomps like a zombie, grows the wings of a bat, and whistles “I’M A GOOFAY GOOBA!” To May Kanker* See that? That’s random!

Rolf: Rolf shall go now, yes? *leaves in a stupid fast speed without any animation*

Eddy: That guy makes me sound like a complete retard!! He’s totally Out of Character, he talks in another language, and he hates Call of Duty!

Jonny: \/\/h+5 wR0nG b0U7 +41kiN L1k 7i5, n00B?! C1L 0v dU+y 5ux5 l\ly\/\/Y!

Eddy: See what I mean?!

Edfan: *looking in the ‘How to talk 1337’ book* Ah, he said “What’s wrong about talkin’ like this, noob? Call of Duty sucks anyway!” That isn’t true! Call of Duty is awesome!

Double D: You’re an underaged gamer?

Edfan: No. Even though I’m 13/14/15 (There’s my reasonable age, basically in my teens), it says you either have to be over 16, or have a parent with you to buy it!

Eddy: And you can’t say “noob” without expecting people to beat the crap out of you!

Jonny: *gets brutally murdered by every person in the studio*

Nazz: Van Bartonshmeer?

Tyler: *scratches head* I think it’s German or something? Not really a hundred percent sure.

Sarah: How am I supposed to know what Double D’s favorite food is?

Edfan: Then that means you’re a bad girlfriend! *squishes her with a random hammer* Send in the next dares!

Kevin: Hey, I didn’t die from a list of dares! WOOHOO!! *a paper airplane comes into the room and flies into Kevin’s eye, piercing his head and killing Kevin instantly*

Edfan: EPIC JYNX!

From Ultraman Nexus

'Happy Thansgiving and Birthday! Your right about Nickelodeon, it just ain’t what it used to be…'

Anyways, enough remenicing about my childhood onto the dares!

'Edfan:PLANK HAS TAKEN OVER ZARK! ONLY THE COMBIED MIGHT OF YOU AND ME CAN STOP HIM! IT’LL TAKE MY ILLENIUM AUTHOR POWERS AS WELL AS YOUR OWN POWERS AND ABILITIES TO WIN!'

'Edd:So you found a loophole eh? Drink booze and then pot and then call your parents on the phone'

'Kevin:I challenge you to a Pokemon battle! You have a Pidgey, Magikarp, Sunkern, Caterpie, Rattata, and Weedle. I have Infernape, Empoleon, Torterra, Gliscor, and a Luxray who knows Volt Tackle.'

Nazz:Kiss the boy you like in the crotch.

Eddy:Call your parents on the phone and say their both fat an ugly.

Rolf: Get spanked by Jonny using Plank as a paddle.

Ryan:Kiss Edfan or advertise pig pop, drinking a can in the process.

Marie and Edd: Sing “A Whole New World” Then do other Disney parodies.

Edfan: Thanks.

Plank: MWAHAHA!! I WILL DOMINATE THE WORLD!! *Jumps into Zark and starts controlling him with nuclear missile exploding everywhere, making it totally dramatic-looking*

Edfan: *tips Zark over by pushing him over a ledge*

Ultraman: That was completely anti-climatic.

Edfan: Meh, I forgot to charge Zark this morning.

Plank: CURSE YOU!

Double D: Forcing me to do drugs is-

Edfan: *Shoves booze into Double D’s nose* Shut up!

Double D: And it’s not really called pot. It’s called Cannabis.

Eddy: Shove that Cannabis up someone’s nose who cares! *shoves some weird yellow stuff in Double D’s throat*

Tyler: What was that?

Ultraman: Hashish. It’s one of the forms of Cannabis. *pulls a chart out of nowhere*

Edfan: (with one of those pointers) You see, the term cannabis or marijuana generally refer to dried flowers and subtending leaves and stems of the female cannabis plant. This is most widely consumed-

Eddy: SHUT UP! I’M LEARNING!! *falls over*

Edd: Hello? May I speak to Mrs. (insert Double D’s last name here). Yes mother? Well I would like you to know that *eyes turn all huge because the drug takes effect* ME SO SUPER TOTALLY REALLY HYPER! ME GOING INSANE LIKE SPAZTASTIC BIRDIE!! *hangs up* HAHA!! *jumps out the window, unaware of the ocean of Double D fangirls.*

Sarah: Why is this show so insane?

Kevin: The same reason I KEEP GETTING BASHED TWENTY THREE TIMES EVERY CHAPTER!

Ultraman: *sends out tons of EPIC poke’mon* Go!

*6 Epic poke’mon ownages, and 1 EXTREME shovel chinned Volt-Tackle in the crotch later*

Kevin: *tearing up while holding crotch in pain* I have officially run out of complaints. *falls over KOed*

Nazz: That is just plain sick!

All boys: *run up a palm tree in a cartoon-gag-like style*

One Gross makeout scene, and about 19 throw-ups later

Eddy: *dials his number* Hey mom, dad, YOU’RE BOTH FAT AND UGLY!! Kay? Pick up milk? Okay. We have a poodle in the house? I’m an idiot? Your brother said I will die? I keep asking you questions? You know what? Screw you both. *hangs up*

Jonny: Right on!! *smacks Rolf’s posterior with Plank, in which Rolf gets about 42 splinters*

Ryan: You my friend, are sick. *leaves to go advertise pig pop*

Marie and Edd: *sing “A Whole New World”, afterwards, they get pelted repeatedly by tomatoes*

Ed: Disney parodies, huh…?

Edfan: Good Idea alert!

2-6 minutes later

For an odd reason, Ed (who is dressed up like a green moose in a T-shirt and pants), Double D (who is dressed up like a short blue mouse), Eddy (who is dressed up like a bear in a jacket), and Jonny (who is dressed up like a cat) are all standing inside a building.

Ed: Let’s go!

Then, May (who is dressed up like a fat robot in business formalwear) and Kevin (who is dressed up like a FATTER robot in business formalwear) are encountered.

Kevin: I’m going to EAT YOU!

Ed: You’re weird! DIE, SAYS LUTHAR, THE ATOMIC MOOSE!!

'''Ed throws a custard crème pie! Kevin’s head violently explodes!'''

'''Double D acts spazztastic to appeal his friends! All allies gain 24 laugh points!'''

'''Jonny makes a piano randomly fall on May’s head! May takes 126 damage!'''

Eddy lures May with an Ed plushie!

May cannot attack!

Nazz and Marie join the battle for a random reason!

Edfan cannot think of a reasonable plot for this insane part of Ed or Dare!

'''Ed and Jonny grab water guns and shoot Marie! May takes 68 damage!'''

'''Double D drops an EVIL rock on Nazz’s head! Nazz takes 54 damage!'''

Eddy leaves a banana peel trap!

Marie Launches many kisses at Double D! Double D loses 23 laugh points!

'''Nazz forces a chipmunk to eat a Jawbreaker! Everyone loses 11 laugh points!'''

May is still immobile!

'''Eddy lures Nazz with a picture of her favorite Boy-Band! Nazz slips on the banana peel and get’s thrown 56 thousand into the air! She lands, and takes OVAR NINE THOUSAND damage! Nazz falls over dead. Everyone laughs! All allies gain 153 laugh points!'''

'''Ed throws a jar of mayonnaise at May! She takes 105 damage and bounces backwards!'''

'''Double D spazzs out again! May and Nazz take 73 damage! All allies gain 19 laugh points!'''

'''Jonny FALCOWN, KICKZ Kevin’s dead body into Nazz! Nazz takes 53 damage, and Kevin dies again!'''

Edfan yells: This battle is taking too long!

Everyone is bombed to oblivion!

Edfan: Weird… *revives everyone* Let’s just get on with the next dares… please.

From Easymac120

'So I do have time to review, after all!! Yippee!!'

Before we start the dares, restore Rolf’s 3rd'-person speech. And oh. *gives Julian a bath, then gives Rolf a “How to Take Care of a Bull” guide*'

Dares:

'1)Kevin: Did I hear you say DORK again? Now you can either let me stick heated needles through my voodoo doll of you, OR face Julian’s wrath!! 2)Ed: Spend one day at your aunt’s house. 3)Eddy: Lee will give you a million bucks… then you must buy for her whatever she likes! 4)All except Edfan: Rolf’s chickens are loose! Catch as many as you can within 60 seconds, and the one who catches the most wins a pass to skip a dare! But beware, one of them is vicious and bloodthirsty.'

'Truths: 1)Marie: What’s your original hair color? 2)Planks: What are your plans? Go into more detail'

Rolf: Ahh, thank you he-who-has-a-canine-for-picture-of-face! Rolf is pleased! *starts scanning the new book, that is luckily written in his native language*

Kevin: What voodoo doll? I didn’t even see any Kevin voodoo doll! *suddenly feels a sharp burning pain* MAKE IT STOP!!! ANY OTHER OPTION, PLEASE!!

Edfan: Anything?

Kevin: *feels another pain in his crotch* YES! ANYTHING!!

Eddy: Okay then, Rolfy-Boy, get the bull!

Kevin: Wait, what?! *gets run over by Julian 4 times*

Tyler: Why only four times?

Edfan: Fanfiction likes to delete extremely long numbers like Six-hundred, ninety four trillion, three hundred, sixteen billion, thirty eight million, four hundred twenty one thousand, seven hundred and twenty five.

Ed: Not aunty! Her cat makes me sneeze ever so much!!

Ed’s aunt: *grabs Ed’s ear from off screen and drags him away*

Eddy: Oh great, a Kanker shopping spree?

Lee: *grabs Eddy’s neck in a choke-hold* Time to go get things!

Eddy: *choke* Like?

Lee: Hey, I don’t feel like telling you! So shut up! *leaves with Eddy*

Edfan: Okay, everyone, get the chickens! I’ll be working on my other fictions while I’m waiting. *starts to work on the crack fiction, “When Double D loses his Hat”*

Kevin: Chickens? Ha! Easy!

About 7000 chickens: *start flying around the room*

Double D: (still insane) I WANTZ TEH CHUCKOWNZ!! *starts grabbing chickens and stuffs them in his shirt*

Nazz: Now that is just plain wrong.

Sarah: You said it.

*6999 chicken grabbings, and an epic battle of kids V.S. bloodthirsty chicken later*

Edfan: *turns back* Whoa…

The whole studio is demolished, everyone is seen dead, Plank got totally owned, the chicken is still there, with a machine gun and a cup of blood, blowing stuff up, the nearby city is in turmoil and the world was plunged into nuclear chaos!

Edfan: *gawks at the chicken* H-H-how-

Chicken: *starts shooting at Edfan, only for every of its 500 bullets to miss*

Edfan: Die, fool.

Chicken: *falls over dead*

Edfan: Hey, it actually worked!

Later again…

Edfan: *revives another hotdog vendor* I’m… gonna… pass-out…

Tyler: Come on, all we have left is the entire country of Greenland!

Edfan: Forget it! I’m going back to the studio…

Eddy: But we’re in the middle of New Mexico.

Edfan: *passes out*

Marie: Well, while we are here, I guess I should say that I have no idea what my original hair color was. But I mom said that my dad dyed my hair while I was sleeping one night. And she quotes, “He was a crazy ol’ nut job! Now get me a low-fat fat cake.”

Plank 1: Well our plan is really quite simple.

Plank 2: We simply wait and persuade reviewers by giving them presents, so they would end up giving us power.

Plank 5 (because 3 and 4 are dead): Then, we destroy every author on Earth with the power any of the foolish reviewers give us, as they are the only ones that can stop us, considering their power.

Plank 6 & 7: Then we go kill Kevin multiple times as many of the authors’ dying wish!

Plank 8: After we destroy the authors, we take over the US, turning it into “Planktopia,” allowing shelter and refuge for abused boards and wood.

Plank 9: We wage war with the other countries, and dominate them with our strength!

Plank 10: After we destroy all the humans, we will take over the galaxy, revitalizing the other planets, and destroying the aliens of other planets.

Plank 11: AND WE SHALL RULE THE UNIVERSE!!!

Edfan: I’m not sure whatever they said, but I’m sure it’s nothing too bad.

Jonny: I mean, what are the chances of all these Planks are going to kill us all?

Tyler: *Pulls out a list from behind his back* And now we go to Lefthandliam’s dares.

From lefthandliam1998

'ZARK would never kill Fanboy and Chum Chum! I made him! Must be a malfunction (sorry if you hate FB and CC Edfan)'

'Edfan765: You and I will interrogate Kevin in a future dare for my missing DS, so I won’t dare you Tyler, Anthon, and Ryan: Dress up as the naked brothers while Edfan765 plays target practice on you in the land of the lost'

'All girls: wear ALL-BLACK fabric (Entirely over EVERY part of their bodies), shrink down to any-size and go onto the cherry of an Ice cream sundae I will eat, at the end I will only suck on the cherry so you all will be tortured in my bad-breath mouth, and you will stay tiny for half of the chapter :D, also afterwards yell that boys are cool and girls are fools through all of the microphones in the studio, GENDER SPECIFICNESS YAY! (If you read my profile that I hate sexism this is an exception), and you girls should be honored, this is a freaking super long dare!'

Kevin: INTERROGATION #2: MISSING DS Lite, oh and the tortures are: The girls going inside you and cutting up your bones, bloodstream, etc., Beth from TDA puking in your mouth, ZARK eating off your skin, Edfan decides the other 3

Ed: Do your theme sequence in every costume you dressed up in in the series

Edd: Have the girls go under your hat and find out it’s secret, don’t worry, they cant tell because they made the unbreakable vow with me before the episode

Eddy: *hands PERMANENT hair-giver PERMANENT I TELZ YA!* you will soon have beautiful brow hair

Jimmy, Jonny, Rolf, Plank: Go through the 3 tri-wizard challenges

Questions:

'Whats under Edd’s hat? (Answer: Unfortunately, I have not seen any official proof of what was under the hat, and we have yet to know)'

Eddy: You know, we should head back to the studio…

One extreme trek later

Edfan: If Zark can’t kill him, then it looks like I’ll have to take matters to my own hands… *presses a button that shoots a nuclear missile to a certain Nicktoons-universe and starts to laugh maniacally*

Tyler: Naked Brothers?! That his most hated band!

Kevin: *snickers* Been nice knowing ya! NOT!

A quick change of cloths later

Edfan: (in an army uniform with a sniper gun) *arms gun* Who’s first?

OCs: *point at each other*

Edfan: Right! *shoots all three in the head with the same bullet* Wait… where did I get this sniper from?

Everyone: *shrugs in unison*

Lee: Well at least we would look good in black.

Sarah: Behinds, were basically tomboys anyway. Besides the dumb blonde over there.

Nazz: HEY!

One extreme change into gothlic clothes later

Marie: Well?

All the girls are wearing over-sized black jackets and black jeans with black socks and shoes while wearing completely black helmets and wearing black gloves, and dyed their hair black, and wearing black masks that cover their whole face.

Eddy: Good. Now then…

The girls: *get shrunk, and randomly fall into a cherry on top of a sundae*

Nazz: (in a really high-pitched voice that’s all weird) well it’s not like it can get any worse, right?

Liam: Wrong! *eats the ice cream, and leaves the cherry in mouth*

Edfan: This dare is probably more insane than my Christmas one-shot.

Tyler: The one where the mansion blows up in the end?

Edfan: Yup!

Kevin: Another interrogation?!

Liam: Yes! *ties Kevin to a chair* Now just tell us where it is and we’ll all live happily ever after.

Kevin: Okay, it’s-

Tyler: *holds up a contract*

Kevin: I mean, I’ll never tell you where it is!

Liam: Hand me the mask.

Edfan: *hands Liam a mask that supposed to look like a duck*

Kevin: (In a WTF expression) WTF?

Liam: *puts mask on* This. QUACK QUACK! *laser beams come out of the eyes and zap Kevin about 52 times*

Kevin: Ow… I’m gonna be sore for a while…

Liam: Then just give me the DS already, dork!

Kevin: (thinking) I’m going to freakin’ die… again (speaking) Never!

Liam: Okay then… *grabs a rather large hammer from pocket via hammer space* It’s hammer time!

Anthon: Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!

Liam: *squishes Kevin with hammer*

Kevin: OW! I-OW!-WILL-OW!-FREAKING-OW!-TALK-OW! JUST-OW! STOP-OW!-PLEASE!! OW! OW!

Liam: Oh, well why didn’t you say so? *throws hammer away, where it randomly lands on Rolf’s head*

Rolf: Wow, jerky Kevin boy, you really are a how you say, duck to all these all-powerful-creators!

Kevin: Whatever, it’s in my front pocket!

Liam: Okay! … So, who’s going to get my DS out of the jock’s pocket?

Everyone: *no one raises hand*

Edfan: And our generous volunteer is Eddy!

Eddy: Why me?!

Tyler: ‘Cause I didn’t want to touch the guy’s dick by accident.

Eddy: *Fishes out a DS from Kevin’s pocket using a fishing rod* Found it!

Liam: *grabs the DS* Thanks!

Edfan: You are welcome to sit in the audience booth.

Liam: That reminds me. *spits the girls in his mouth and the end up being shot into Kevin’s ear*

Nazz: Yuuuuuck!! I hate this place!

Sarah: At least it’s not going to be as insane as Edfan’s one-shots…

Weird Flashback and/or Ad, thing.

Double D: How long have my stalkers been fighting again?

Ed: Hmm… about two hours.

Eddy: Go figure…

Sarah: Not that One-shot!

Another weird Flashback and/or Ad thing

'''Heavy: WHERZ MAH SANDVEECH!? U DAR EAT MAH SANDVEECH?!?!?!'''

Scout: Uh… yeah.

Heavy: I KILLZ YOU!!

Later…

'''Medic: l0l0l0l0l0l0l!11!!!1!!!one!! i hz cR373d 7eh mU5+ 3piC 7inG n 7eh wuRLd!!'''

Scout: *throws a bomb into the room*

'''Medic: OMFG!!!11!!!!11!!eleven!!! C00k3eE!!!'''

Kankers: WTF

Sarah: Exactly. Nothing ever makes sense. *enters Kevin blood stream and starts killing his white blood cells, while the others punch and kick several important organs.

Kevin: *turns into life preserver, boat, house, toaster, toast, a grenade, Scout from Team Fortress 2, Captain Falcon, a head of cabbage, a c00k3E, and Ed before exploding in a shower of guts!*

Edfan: OWNAGE! *revives Kevin*

Kevin: *Some barf coming out of nowhere launches into his mouth, and he explodes again*

Tyler: Again, OWNAGE!

Edfan: *revives Kevin*

Zark: RRRRAAAAOOORRR!!!one!! *eats Kevin’s skin, but not Kevin, if you know what Edfan means*

Kevin: MY SKIN! I’M NAKED!!

Edfan: Luckily for us, there is a large censoring blur over Kevin right now. As for my three…

Kevin: Oh no…

Edfan: *holds up scissors, googly eyes, and a carton filled with broccoli, and manically laughs*

Everyone: *anime sweatdrops*

3 strange deaths later…

Ed: *does his title sequence as Edzilla, Luthar the Barbarian, Cent #1 from Robbin’ Ed, Old Ed, Young Ed, Baby Ed, 1960s Cartoon Ed, a hotdog, in Bathrobe, in Double D’s Dad’s suit, dressed up like a frog, his bathing suit (underwear and shoes), as his space explorer suit, and numerous other costumes*

Tiny Girls: Into the hat! *somehow, start flying into Double D’s hat*

Double D: Wait! Don’t touch anything in there!

Nazz: What does this do?

CLICK!

Double D: *violently explodes into a large array of guts*

Edfan: Wow, everyone dies no matter what. *revives Double D*

Eddy: Permanent huh? Well then, *pours some of the hair formula onto head, and waits 4 seconds* I don’t feel any- *A ton of hair suddenly sprouts and ends up overfilling the studio*

Jimmy: I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS!!

Edfan: *shaves several hairs to make breathing space* Tri-wizard… Isn’t that Harry Potter or something?

Anthon: Probably. It has the word “Wizard” in it.

Edfan: Okay… *shoves Jimmy, Jonny, Rolf and Plank into a random black hole* NEXT!!

Kevin: *ducks from a paper airplane coming through the window* HA!

Edfan: *reads it* This paper is not my dare. My dares will appear after a bomb explodes next to Kevin.

Kevin: SAY WHAT?! *looks down to see a bomb right next to him* I hate everyone.

NUKE!!

Edfan: Well, that was interesting! *grabs a glove, and digs through Kevin’s organs to find the next dares*

Dnny By

I have 1 truths and 3 dares, and a present

'Jimmy, give a real answer to why you are a cry baby and 1. If you cry again, the plank army has to eat you alive'

Eddy, Kiss sarah

Plank army, get a nuclear bomb and blow youselfs, edfan765, and Eddy and Sarah kissing up, or, engage in a Homsexual orgy, whichever suites you (go with the nuke! Or the orgy, i don’t care) And

Present: to Edfan765, i give the Capri-ed rights on the condition that lefthandliam1998 must Come alive in the next chapter and get blown up by the bomb OR engange in the **-orgy

Tyler: All of that as doable… besides the last one, for lefthandliam is not exactly our character, but instead an author. Anyways. Jimmy, CONFESS YOU!!

Jimmy: *on the verge of tears* I was born like it!! Don’t mock me!

Tyler: He’s just a wimpy like that I guess.

Jimmy: *bursts (literally) into tears*

Planks 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11: *eat Jimmy in an animalistic way*

Eddy: You’ll never take me alive, guy who has no vowels in his name!!

Sarah: Never!

Edfan: *facepalms* Rolf.

Rolf: On it, he who has large shiny cane! *rips off Eddy and Sarah’s lips and forces them into each other*

Sarah: You still taste like strawberry pudding! *kicks Eddy in the crotch*

Eddy: *in a high pitched voice* Ahh, this is bad!

Planks: CAUSE WE’RE-

Plank 1: T.

Plank 2: N.

Plank 5: T. (Cookie to anyone who knows what song that is)


 * nukes themselves, Edfan, and Eddy and Sarah’s lips with a huge giant blimp filled with bombs, that for some reason have “AC/DC” painted on them (Huge Hint)*

Edfan: *covered in soot, but miraculously alive* Ow… *falls over dead*

Tyler: How come it never blew us up?

Eddy’s Body: *shrugs*

Anthon: We really need some sort of gadget that can bring these people back to life.

Tyler: I think I have something… *grabs a chessboard and whacks Edfan in the head with it*

Edfan: *suddenly alive* OW!!! WHAT THE (censor) WAS THAT FOR?!

Ryan: *snickers in the background*

Edfan: *blows up Tyler into itty bitty pieces, and revives him* Next dares, please!

From Yoshermon

'Wow. I can’t really critique writing for a fanfiction like this… Your grammar is readable albeit not perfect, and the story is so random and strange that I guess it kinda nulls the need for detail and descriptive writing.'

 Anyway, I’d like to suggest a few dares of my own for the heck of it:

I dare you guys to throw Kevin into the Cube (look up “Cube (film)”) and have him try to get out of it without any assistance.

'I also dare Ed to receive a Weighted Cube Companion (look up “Portal (game)”) and have him spend enough time with it for the lug to get emotionally attached. Then force Ed to insinerate it.'

Edfan: Well actually, this fic is just for humor purposes. This fiction is just basically random humor, up to the point where someone can classify it as a crackfic, only not everything is ever so random.

Kevin: *gets squished by a random purple meteor*

Edfan: Nevermind. If you want to see my actual work that doesn’t look like crap, you might want to see my other fics. But hey, whatever floats your boat.

Ed: Is that a tugboat, or a yacht, or aircraft carrier, or-

About 23 boats later

Ed: or the Submarine, or the battleship, or the rowboat?

Tyler: Uh… all of the above. Can we just get onto his first dare?

Edfan: Right. Kevin! INTO THE CUBE!!

Kevin: Wait, what?

Edfan: No clue. I’ll be right back. *looks up Cube on Wikipedia*

Anthon: We should do Ed’s dare first!

Ed: A weighted cube buddy?

The Weighted Cube Companion: (we’ll just call him the WCC) *falls right next to Ed*

Ed: … NEW BESTEST FRIEND!! *squeezes the WCC really hard* I LUVS YOU! YOU’RE MY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! WE ARE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER AT THE AMUSEMENT PARK, WATCHING MOVIES AT MY HOUSE, AND ALL SORTS OF AWESOME STUFF!! I LOVE HAVING YOU HERE!!!!! *squeezes WCC hard enough for it to randomly blow up*

Tyler: 3… 2… 1…

Ed: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! *cries uncontrollably* H-H-He was my b-bestest fr-friend in the whole w-wide w-w-world!! *cries some more until he dehydrates from crying too much, and turns into dust*

Ryan: Seriously, this whole death thing is going a little too far.

Edfan: I know. Anyways, Kevin, it’s bye-bye time!

Kevin: Wait, what?! *disappears*

MEANWHILE, IN THE CUBE UNIVERSE

Kevin: (In a cube shaped room with 6 doors, 1 door in the center of each wall, and the ceiling and floor) Where do I go? Umm… okay… Uhh… Eeny Meeny Miney Moe! *walks into the door in the floor, and gets cut into a bunch of cubes and falls apart*

BACK IN THE STUDIO

Eddy: Well, I wonder how scary that place is… Not that I’m willing to go!

Anthon: *trips over a random rock* OW!

Tyler: … Something tells me that is going to be a running gag… Next dares from Yue Twili!

From Yue Twili

'Oh! A Kevin Voodoo Doll! *pins a needle up the doll’s butt*'

Kevin: OWIE!! MY BUTT HURTS LIKE CRAZY ALL OF A SUDDEN!

Edfan: *knocks him out* Continuing on with our review…

Question: Are you going to add Eddy’s brother (Aka Matthew) in this thing?

And now for the dares…

'Everyone but Kevin: GO ON THE SUGAR BUZZ AND ANNOY KEVIN! The host and co-hosts can also join in the craziness.'

The Eds: I have found a theme song that fits ya and now do all sorts of activity while it plays (it’s Team Chaotix’s Theme)

'Edfan: I give you… THE RYNO V! It’s a very huge weapon, capable of firing bullets at mach 3 and shots rockets as well. The most powerful weapon from the Ratchet and Clank universe; use it well! (it’s a replica, so you can keep it and blast anyone you want)'

'Jimmy: *place a red gem on a yellow mount-like thing in his hand* Wear this. (p.s. it’ll give the person super hearing, super sight, and super strength and be able to sprout wings made of the energy from within them; they’ll be shaped like a butterfly, mayfly, or any other creature that has wings)'

Jonny: Drink this milkshake as fast as you can.

'Sarah: Hm… I know! Be the test subject for Edfan when he uses the RYNO V!'

'That’s it from me! Update as soon as you can plz! Oh, and happy birthday Edfan! Consider the RYNO V a birthday from me!'

Edfan: I actually plan Eddy’s brother making a special guest appearance on in the last chapter (Yes, this will eventually end) to make it extra epic. Oh well! *eats a ton of candy and sugar, and ice cream*

Everyone but Kevin: *follows the suit*

Ed: I LIKE THE COLOR BLUE!

Eddy: THE WORLD’S LARGEST TOASTER IS TWO MILES LONG!!

Edfan: I LIKE THE NUKE!

Ryan: PIE!!

Nazz: THE SANDWICH IS A SPY!!

Rolf: I do not understand why all of you are acting like the couch-potato Ed-boy.

Tyler: DRINK CACTUS JUICE!

Jimmy: THE MODERATOR SAID JACKASS IS A DONKEY!

Double D: LOOK AT ME! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!?!?

Kevin: MAKE IT ALL STOP!! *crawls into fetal position and sucks thumb*

Sarah: I LIKE MY STRAIGHTJACKETS FRESH!

Jonny: YOU GOT BAGELS ON MY SOUP!

Anthon: I SAW NARUTO IN A DRESS!!

Meanwhile in the Naruto universe

Naruto and the gang are playing Truth or Dare with a bottle.

Naruto: Of all dares, WHY did you force me into a pink dress?!?!

Sakura: Because I thought it would be fitting.

Naruto: I hate you.

Sasuke: I hate the log. (Let’s face it, that joke never gets old!)

Back at our Studio

Plank army: ZOMG WE SUPER REALLY HYPER! WE CAN’T CONTROL SELF! WE LIKEZ THE TURKEYS!

Kankers: ME ARE TOTALLY CRAZY I LOVE TOAST!

Later…

Kevin: *dead*

Edfan: Revival time! *Revives Kevin!* I totally know that song! Well then, let’s put up a disclaimer!

Disclaimer: Edfan765 does not own the song “Team Chaotix.”

Edfan: Thank you disclaimer. Onto the acts! (makes Double D sane again)

Disclaimer: Please note that this song has been modified from it’s original track.

The epic intro

Ed: '''Once upon a time You could be a good guy And you’d live to see another day'''

Jonny: *in a ski mask, running around with a bag of money while running away from the Eds, who are in Police uniforms*

Eddy: '''But now you’d never manage Boy, you’d be money-damaged Just to think that you could get away'''

Ed: *tackles Jonny to the ground* Got ‘em!

Eddy: Yes! Now let’s cash him in for… cash!

Double D: Please, can we just continue with the song?

Double D: The power has arrived in a dream teamEd: A force where one and one makes threeEddy: And when the trail’s gone cold and the lies have been toldAll Eds: This crew will find what you can’t see!

Double D: *with a magnifying glass, examining the ground in the middle of a dark alley* Hmm… *writes some scientific crap in his notebook* Hey! It is not crap! *Well shut up and continue with the song!*

Ed: '''Cause the danger hides When the smarty head flies!Eddy: And cheapskates will fly too!Double D: The muscle is Edward The chicken collectorAll Eds: And is sworn to fight for you!!'''

All Eds: *suddenly on a large rock-star stage, with Ed on drums, Double D with a bass, and Eddy with the guitar, all with mic stands, playing the song*

All Eds: TEAM ED-OT-IXEd: They’re idiots you want on your side…All Eds: TEAM ED-OT-IXEddy: They’re young cheapskates, tracking down that dime!Double D: '''Come along for the ride The truth can run but not hide…All Eds: For Long The game Is on Now!!!'''

(During the instrumental break)

Eddy: Well, I think that verse went pretty good!

Double: Oh please! You were completely off key!

Ed: guys…

Eddy: Hey! I’m not the one in the sock here!

Ed: guys…

Double D: Why I never!

Ed: GUYS!!

Double D and Eddy: What?!

Ed: The next verse!!!

Double D and Eddy: Oh…

Eddy: '''Remember when stealin’ used to be a good deal And when the scammer’s life would always pay?'''

The Eds, are now seen in the lane, holding up the old scam called “Kick the shovel chin in the crotch a thon” with several people in line, including all the kids and several authors and for no reason, every single bigfoot believer in the world.

Double D: '''Well now that police’s in town, That’s all under the ground But it’s a worry to this very day'''

At that moment, several police come to the scene and start chasing the Eds and everyone away. However, as soon as everyone’s gone, they start kicking Kevin in the crotch for free!

Eddy: '''A challenge has been issued by the Edfan! This mission’ gonna need The Eds!Ed: And though his hopes grow thin and the outlook is grim These Eds are gonna heed his call!'''

Edfan is then seen, giving a piece of paper to the Eds, that says “Get milk, eggs, cheese,” And several other grocery items.

Ed: '''Yeah Eddy’s thing is tripping the first string!Eddy: And the dumb one cheers them on!Double D: And this bucko Is clearly ready to goAll Eds: Run down who’d do you wrong!'''

All Eds: *suddenly on a large rock-star stage, with Ed on drums, Double D with a bass, and Eddy with the guitar, all with mic stands, playing the song again*

All Eds: TEAM ED-OT-IXEd: They’re idiots you want on your side…All Eds: TEAM ED-OT-IXEddy: They’re young cheapskates, tracking down that dime!Double D: Come along for the rideAudience: (TEAM ED-OT-IX)Double D: The truth can run but not hide…All Eds: '''For Long The game Is on'''

All Eds: TEAM ED-OT-IXEd: '''The Eds are Heroes What your problem needsAll Eds: TEAM ED-OT-IXEddy: Watch us three go Making Kevin bleed! '''(Kevin: I resent that!) Double D: There’s no way you can win…Audience: (TEAM ED-OT-IX)Eddy: If it’s trouble you’re in!Audience: (ED-OT-IX)All Eds: '''They’re gone na kick your'''

…

TEAM ED-OT-IX!!

Everyone: *still staring at the Eds with WTF expressions*

Edfan: … You still didn’t get the eggs!!

Edfan: And I say thank you for the RYNO V! But that makes me wonder. Is there a RYNO R, or and T, or even RYNOs A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, S, U, W, X, Y, or Z?

Ed: Maybe?

Jimmy: RED?! RED IS SO SCARY! IT REMINDS ME OF BLOODSHED!! *starts crying, much to the dismay of… everyone*

Edfan: *sigh* Rolf.

Rolf: Rolf is on it, he who has numbers in his name! *shoves the yellow mount-like thing in Jimmy’s hand*

Jimmy: *starts glowing rapidly, and in a violent non-lethal explosion, he is seen again* (in a really deep Greek god-like voice) What just happened? *sprouts wings* Wowsers! *The wings start flying on their own* BAD WINGS! BAD WINGS!! SARAH!!! HELP ME!! OH NOEZ!!!

Jonny: A milkshake? No problem!! *drinks the milkshake very fast like, until he stops* '''MY HEAD IT HURTS!!! '''*Bursts into a sudden short montage*

I can’t really put the rhythm in, so you choose whatever background song you want.

… '''I OWN THE LYRICS! TAKE THAT DISCLAIMER ADDICTS!!'''

'''Jonny: Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Freeeeeze… Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Freeeeeze… Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Freeeeeze…'''

'''Jonny: So cold… Audience: (So cold…) Jonny: So sweet… Audience: (So sweet…) Jonny: So nice… Audience: (So nice…) Jonny: So creamy Audience: (So creamy) Jonny: Yum…'''

'''Jonny: Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Freeeeeze… Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Freeeeeze… Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Freeeeeze…'''

Edfan: … Well that was… awkward… ANYHOW! *Takes the RYNO V and aims it at Sarah*

You can Imagine what happens next…

Sarah gets totally MAULED by the huge-ass rocket

Everyone: … '''YIPPIE! SHE’S DEAD!!'''

Double D: Next dares, if it is possible.


 * An ever so familiar Rabid Kitten jump into the room with a letter in its mouth, and starts to maul Kevin*

Edfan: Thank you, Rabid Kitten of the KAORK Number 584!

From Kat and Nini

'Kat: *after barricading profile from missiles* Happy Birthday, Edfan! …Is it over?'

'Nini: I think so. Heh, Jimmy won’t give in? Oh well, time for some new victims…even though we’re a bit lazy this time.'

'Everyone: One of our rabid kittens has become a bit unruly lately, even to us. So we challenge everyone to try to train this kitten. Whoever succeeds gets this HUGE, delicious turkey cooked by Kat (Nini: Trust me, she’s a great cook!). Whoever is unsuccessful shall get savagely attacked by said kitten.'

'Kat: Yeah, we’re just not feeling too…dare-giving today. At least I managed to save Double D from a forced marriage. Yay!'

Nini: You just got lucky… *gives Kevin voodoo doll to KAORK which shreds it up*

Kevin: *gets torn into many shreds, and those shreds get torn into shreds, and those shreds get torn into even smaller shreds, and continues until he is just dust*

Edfan: Wait a sec… The Rabid Kitten is right here! *points an accusing finger at KAORK Kitten 284, who is now playing with Kevin’s dusty ashes*

Everyone: *GASP*

Eddy: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!

Everyone: *starts panicking*

KAORK Kitten 584: *starts mauling*

5 minutes later…

KAORK Kitten 584: *continues to shred Eddy into bits, where she/he puts the bloody remains next to the pieces of Nazz, Jonny, and for no reason, Micky Mouse* RAWR!! *pounces on Ryan, the OC, who attempts to destroy the kitten with his epic Rock Paper Scissors skills*

5 more minutes later…

KAORK Kitten 584 has killed Eddy, Nazz, Jonny, Micky Mouse, all the OCs, every character from Flapjack (In which Edfan gave a kitty toy as a reward for), Lee, May, Several Ants, a washing machine, a huge fat buffalo, Double D, and a toaster

Edfan: This isn’t working!

Ed: What do we do?!

Marie: All we have is 2 huge rocket launchers (Mr. Bang Bang and RYNO V), an idiot (Ed), a lovable tomboy (Marie), a former wimp (Jimmy), and an unimportant character (Sarah)!

Edfan: … I know what to do…

5 more minutes later AGAIN…

The surviving forces are seen in a general uniforms, standing behind a huge army of pets with weapons, including…

Cats: Samurai swords (Front Lines)

Bunnies: Glow-in-the-dark Goggles (Special Ops.) 

Hamsters: Exercising Wheel powered 50 Calibers (Assault)

Gerbils: Grenades (Explosives)

Parakeets: Jetpacks and Meat Cleavers (Air Forces)

'''More Cats: General uniforms with Samurai swords. (Generals)'''

Several Dogs: Are hugely fat, filled with nerve gas (Biological Weapons)

More Dogs: Dressed up like Panzer Tanks (Heavy Weapons)

Edfan: … Front Lines?

Cats: Meow (We will plunge our swords through the enemy!)

Ed: Special Operations?

Bunnies: *Make what ever sound a Bunny makes* (They’ll never notice us sneaking up on them!)

Marie: Assault?

Hamsters: SQUEAK! WHATEVER SOUND WE MAKE!! (We luv 50 Calibers!! It’s 10 more than 40 Calibers!!!)

Jimmy: Explosives?

Gerbils: WHATEVER SOUND WE MAKE!! (Let’s bomb ‘em!)

Sarah: Air forces?

Parakeets: Raw! Viva Pantallonais! (Can Anyone figure out the cartoon this gag is from?) (We will end their lives!!)

Edfan: General Meowica, how are the generals doing?

Meowica: Meow, Meow meow meow. Meow. (Well, the generals seem to be doing well. However, General Mitten suffered some severe injuries during training)

Edfan: Hmm… Be sure to get Mitten to the infirmary, ASAP!

Meowica: Meow. (Yes sir)

Ed: Biological and Heavy weapons?!

Doggies: ARF ARF! BARK BARK! WOOF WOOF! (DOWN WITH KAORK! DOWN WITH KAORK! DOWN WITH KAORK! DOWN WITH KAORK!)

Everyone: CHARGE!!!

One battle of 574856 millions pets, two rocket launchers, an idiot, a lovable tomboy, a former wimp, and an unimportant character V.S. a feisty rabid kitten later…

Ed: (slightly limping, with blood all over him and many bruises) Your rein of terror… (coughs up blood) is over… *takes a samurai sword, and plunges it into the belly of the KAORK Kitten 584, and falls over* I’ve done it… I did it… *dies silently*

Random Voice: Wow… Everyone’s dead… THAT KITTEN IS EVIL!!! Well, I guess this means I have to go bring everyone alive again…

One weird revival aura later…

Edfan: Weird voices… *picks up Kevin* I GIVE YOU A VIRGIN SACRIFICE!!

Tyler: Actually, a virgin means a female who has never done-

Ed: *throws a brick at Tyler, to keep him from saying a certain 3 letter word that begins with “s” end with “x”, but is not “six”*

Edfan: Fine… I GIVE TO YOU, WEIRD VOICES *picks up Kevin again* A SACRIFICE THAT HAS NEVER GONE THROUGH PUBERTY!

Kevin: I so did go through Puberty! *pulls a microscopic hair off his chin* See? IT’S A BEARD!!

Random Voices: *eats Kevin anyways*

Edfan: Well… *grabs Sarah* AN ACTUAL VIRGIN SACRIFICE!!!

Random Voices: *eats Sarah too, and burps up the next dare from coldflare101*

From coldflare101

'I have but one dare: Plank: Take over Ed or Dare, then the world'

Planks: YES!! FINALLY THE POWER!! We will promise to destroy you last. *somehow, completely obliterate Edfan and OCs*

Plank 1: YES! THEY ARE ALL DEAD! Now then, we can now continue the series for a while! MWAHAHA!

Plank 2: We will take over once this show is done! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

All Planks: *evil maniacal laughter*

All the others: *gawk*

Eddy: … I TOLD YA THAT PIECE OF TERMITE FOOD WAS EVIL!!

Edfan: I’m still here…

Ed: GHOSTY!! *grabs a vacuum to parody Luigi’s mansion, Danny Phantom, and/or Ghost Busters* TAKE THIS EVIL DEMON!! *Accidentally sets it to suck his ear wax out*

Edfan: Actually, the huge nuclear ray missed me by an inch. But they did get my OC’s.

Rolf: So sad…

Double D: However, the Planks do have control over the program now. Unfortunately we have to comply with their laws and rules to-

Ed: NAP TIME!! *Falls asleep*

Double D: Honestly! All of you are really this intellectual to-

Everyone else: *Falls asleep*

Double D: (Sigh) This is not my day. *pulls a letter from under his hat*

From Earthdude

'Yay, it’s been 1 chapter too long to kill kevin. “Pokes voddo doll, but accidentally rips the stomach open* heres your 20 bucks Eddy. On to the dars!'

Eddy & Ed: Switch heights.

'Kevin: 20 bucks if you trap Edfan in the Naruto world for a chapter, and Edfan is and everyone else is powerless to stop you. Then once he is trapped you can use trhe money to buy some ice cream!'

'Nazz: It’s time to go back on another date at the movies, and the lucky person is KEVIN! But don’t forget. I still support chezz.'

'Tyler: I’m going to bound you to a chair. And once I’m safe, we are going to realease Nazz into the room. Be afraid… Be very afraid…'

'Kevin: I’ve been letting you off to easy this chapter. So… ah, this should be true torture. See every twilight movie (Even the ones that haven’t been realesed yet) and read every book a hundred times. Now that, is torture'

Edfan: Quick interruption. Is it me or does every single guy on Earth hate Twilight?

Eddy: This coming from the guy who’s Social Studies Teacher has the same last name of the creator of the 2nd most popular book series in the universe?

Edfan: … MOVING ALONG!!

'Plank: Let everyone watch you slowly kill Kevin in a duel to the death. Of course you get rocket launchers and such, and he gets a stick of butter.'

Anthon: Cut off Johnny’s head and turn it into a fish bowl.

Jimmy: Cut off your legs, set your arms on fire, slit your wrists and your throat, and jump off a cliff.

'That’s it for this chapter. Later.'

Eddy: YAY! 20 BUCKS!! *runs away. 4 seconds later, he comes into the studio with 8 jawbreakers the size of 52 inch HD TVs* MAMMOTH JAWBREAKERS!! *gobbles them all, slowly* AND I’M GETTING TALLER! I LOVE THIS GUY!!

Edfan: You better not mean that in a romantic way or else… *grabs a yaoi manga, and shreds it to pieces, throws it into a volcano, blows the volcano up, stuffs it in Kevin’s mouth, rips Kevin’s head off to play a sweet game of soccer against Double D, Jonny, and Rolf, and SQUEESHES the manga*

Eddy: I’m not gay!

Plank 56: And yet a ton of people on fanfiction think you all are.

All the guys: *throw up in trashcans*

Edfan: First rule about being a T/D author: Don’t bother making normal yaoi/yuri relationships. Some people such as me will end up being repelled immediately.

Eddy and Ed: *switch heights*

Ed: EVERYTHING BECAME SMALL! HIDE ME!! *Attempts to run, but trips over a random soda can*

Kevin: YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! *spazzes out on the floor while acting like a spazztastic kitteh*

Edfan: Great… Surgery…

*One Failure of an operation, and a posting on Failblog later…*

Edfan: Wow! 50 ratings in the first 2 minutes!

Jonny: It ended with his gallbladder exploding!

Kevin: Yeah! But now my crotch is where my bellybutton is supposed to be!

Everyone: *step about 67 paces away*

Kevin: AW COME ON!! But still… *grabs a portal gun, and shoots Edfan, where he disappears*

Ed: I wonder what is going to happen to him…

In the Naruto Universe

Edfan: Aw crap! Now I’m stuck in this anime universe! AND MY OUTLINES DON’T WIGGLE ANYMORE!! Well, I guess the only thing now it to set up dominion…

Back in the studio

Nazz: KEVIN!? NO WAY IN HELL!

Planks: *magically revive the OCs for the sake of other dares* You can play with Tyler afterwards.

Nazz: Let’s go dorky! *Drags Kevin by the leg, letting his face and… crotch drag along the ground*

Tyler: WHAT?! DO YOU NOT REALIZE WHAT SHE IS CAPABLE OF?!

Everyone: Yes, and we don’t care.

Tyler: Where is the creator when you need him?

In the Naruto universe AGAIN

Edfan is seen, on top of a large throne and whip in a huge city with complete dominion over the world.

Edfan: DANCE YOU FEEBLE ONES! DANCE!! *whips several unimportant criminals/bad guys from the Naruto universe*

Naruto: At least he’s not bothering me!

Edfan: Don’t push your luck.

Naruto: Yes sir! Would you like me to do the Happy Dance?

Edfan: No. However…

Back in the EEnE Studio, 45 minutes later

Eddy: Hey guys, did you hear? The Naruto franchise has gone through a complete makeover!

Planks: Like what?

Ed: Well, for some reason, they renamed the show “Ninja Reflexes,”

Jonny: Decided to use the same design as ours,

Rolf: And, how you say, mixed up the storyline with nana’s old soup!

Double D: Well, anyways. Back to our show.

Tyler: (tied to a chair) SOMEBODY HELP ME!! *manages to tip over the chair enough so he lifts the chair while standing on his toes* AHHH!! *runs- Tip-toes quickly away with Nazz following* WHY DO YOU PEOPLE TORMENT ME?!?!

Kevin: Twilight? Never heard of it!

Planks: *throw him 7 books, 7 movies, and a Television* READ YOU FOOL!

I’ve never read the Twilight series, and I don’t want to get caught up in the whole Twilight lovers V.S. Twilight haters war, so there are going to be 2 alternate scenes.

85 hours later

Kevin: AHH!! TWILIGHT BURNS ME!! *falls to the ground, sucking his thumb* So cold… so scary… so… dark…

Plank 5: I guess he still fears vampires because of that incident a few chapters ago.

Kevin: Don’t do… it… Vampires… bad…

Alternative ending

Kevin: OMG OMG OMG OMG BEST THING EVAR!!

Everyone: *steps away another 50 paces*

Kevin: And the part where they are-

(Either way, continuing on)

Planks: *shoot a gun at Kevin to make him mute*

Kevin: ___ _ _ ___!!! ___ !! ___ ___ ___ __ ___ _ _ ___ _ ___!!!!!

Everyone: That’s not even possible to say!

Kevin: ___? __.

Plank 1: Okay, I shall destroy the shovel chinned one!

Plank 5: No! I will!

Plank 7: Let’s take a random Plank out of the hat! *takes a name out of the epic hat of WTFness* And the winner is… PLANK 62!!

Plank 62: *Ultimately OBLITERATE Kevin and his puny stick of butter*

Anthon: YIPPIE! *grabs a random katana and KEE-HAULS Jonny da wood boy*

Jimmy: *attempts to grab a knife, but breaks his arm* YEOWIE!!

Everyone: *facepalms*

Plank 64: Let me do it. *grab’s Jimmy’s knife, slits his throat, cuts his legs and wrists, while pouring gasoline on his puny arms*

Jimmy: *Sets on fire*

Ed: I know what this needs! *grabs a walkie talkie* FIRE!!

A random shady character: *grabs Jimmy* YIPPIE! FIRE BUDDY! *runs away*

Plank 74: Who was that?

Meanwhile in Whatthehellistan

The random character: *takes off his cloak* FIRAH!! *pushes Jimmy off a cliff*

Jimmy: AHH!! *falls into a huge Hell-like area, only instead of demons, with random people on fire*

RPOF: FIRE BUDDY!! *hug Jimmy until he dies from suffocation*

Back at the studio

Plank 23: So many random things are happening… it’s weird…

Plank 76: I’ll say.

Plank 78: So here’s the next dares. *hands Plank 1 a paper*

From twistedmetalfan1127

'dares: Eddy:watch kevin eat jawbreakers and burn money Ed: dont eat gravy Jimmy:let the kankers and eddy pound you Sarah:let Ed pound you edfan765:WORK ON SURVIVAL OF THE EDEST GOT D*MN IT! Ryan, Anthon, and Tyler: nothing Jonny: burn plank truths:Double D: what happened during “the dodgeball incident”'

Kevin: YES!! FINALLY I GET TO GET BACK AT YOU PEOPLE!! *eats a ton of jawbreakers and burns money with a torch, slowly*

Eddy: MAKE HIM STOP!! *spazzes out on the floor*

Random fire people: *suddenly appear and abduct Kevin because he had a torch*

Ed: NO GRAVY?! AHH!!! Oh wait! *eats some buttered toast and turkeys* YUMMY YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!

Jimmy: *appearing out of nowhere* AHH! There were people on fire! And- *gets brutally murdered by the Kankers and Eddy EPICALLY* SOMEBODY HELP ME! NO, CALL THE POLICE!!

Ed: Ed can’t hurt baby sister! He loves her!

Sarah: Get me a tuna sandwich!

Ed: Okie dokie! *runs, but trips, arms pop off, and pound Sarah into the ground* Oops. Huh huh huh.

Anthon: Well, my friend, if the creator was here, he would say “That he isn’t proud of his work of Survival of the Eddest. Mostly because of…

1: Characters being OOC.

2: Too Many OCs.

3: Not funny

4: Epic failure at ‘dramatic’ scenes

5: Completely unoriginal

6: Had taken Easymac’s OC without permission (Hey, he was an idiot back then. He is sorry for taking Easymac’s OCs and hopes that said author would forgive him.)

7: Overall: He thought it sucked.

Ryan: Basically, he thought it was a piece of crap.

Anthon: That would explain why he deleted it in the first place.

Tyler: *Bashes headfirst through a steel door, still tied to the chair* SOMEBODY HELP! ME STILL! *runs away from Nazz*

Nazz: Come back! If I’m not with you, then I’m with him! *points at Kevin* And he’s a dork!

Kevin: I’m sad now…

Jonny: But if I burn any of the Planks, I will be brutally killed in a gory way!

Plank 23: Burn him! *points at Plank 78*

Plank 78: Wait, what?! *get killed by Jonny and some fire*

All the other Planks: *brutally kill Jonny*

Double D: *gets a distant look in his eyes as flashbacks begin…*

Flashback…

Young Double D: (He’s in Peach Creek Elementary school) Greetings, children of Peach Creek elementary! I hope that we can all be productive enough to- *gets pelted by about 5723 dodgeballs*

Another Flashback…

YDD: Hello there- *gets pelted by 4252 dodgeballs*

Another ANOTHER Flashback

YDD: *hides in a trashcan* I hope no one sees- *gets pelted by 6423 dodgeballs* EDDY!!

Young Eddy: What? Dodgeball or not, you deserved it!

Back to the present

Eddy: Well, I did get a set of dares! Here ya go! *hands dares to Plank 1*

From Krazzeekman

'Okay. One, I have a SWORD!!! Not a staff. Second, YURI IS YOUR FRIEND! It’s hot. And d, I WANT TO BE DARED!!!! Ed- Go into a dark closet with May (please have May arranged to smell like gravy and buttered toast) Edd- Break Marie’s heart by making out with Sarah an then be tied to crotch kicking post for kankers to enjoy, free of charge Eddy- have an UNCENSORED (un-CEN-sored, got it memorized?) make out time with Kevin. I shall hold edfan’s staff so he doesn’t use anti yoai blast Kevin- wait while I go to the Disney Hercules world. *comes back with full mortality potion* Drink this. After you drink it, it's time for a little game. -Gives everyone bucket of bombs. Let's play a game of dodge bombs. And to make it EXTRA challenging... -Chains him and comes with his OWN bucket of bombs. And to make sure he doesn't struggle. -Knocks him out with acquired toaster. Rolf- I will push you through a portal to Chicago. Stay there until you lose that annoying ununderstandable language of yours. But don't stay so long that slang is the ONLY thing you speak of. Nazz- Drink this. (unknown is that the drink has a charge that will explode when she comes in contact with Kevin. Tyler- put ryan in a guillotine. Anthon- When I said "have a monster" I meant the ENERGY DRINK! So let's try this again. Drink this special mix drink (red bull monster rockstar and crushed speed you know the drug.) Go on a rampage with me who has had just a 5 hour energy. Trust me if you give me ANY EXTRA ENERGY it's suicide. Edfan- watch enough yuri to love it. IT FRIGGIN HAWT!!!!!!!!'

Plank 6: Well I’m glad that Edfan isn’t here, lest he break into another uncontrollable rant. However, we are not letting authors into our story as a permanent cast. Sorry. It’s the rules.

May: *blasts self with ‘The-this-will-make-you-smell-like-gravy-and-buttered-toastinator’*

Ed: Wow! That gun is as random as the time I caught Rolf kissing a broom! *runs into the closet with May, with several CHOMPS, GULPS, and a large BELCH following*

Planks: O_O

Double D: Do you realize that Sarah is 4 years younger than me?

Plank 8: *shoots Sarah with “The-make-you-4-years-olderinator”* There. NOW KISS HIM!!

12 year old Sarah: YAY! *forces Double D into a kiss*

Marie: *tackles Double D, kicks Sarah in the stomach, and sets Double D into the “Kick-the-sock-hatted-hottie-in-the-crotchithon,” and FALCOWN, KICKZ Double D in the crotch*

Double D: PAIN!!! PAIN!!! PAIN!!!!!

Plank 15: Well apparently Edfan is stuck in the Naruto universe. However, I am wondering. You said that “yuri” was your friend, not yaoi. However, unfortunately, a dare is a dare. No matter how sick it is.

Everyone: *shivers*

Eddy and Kevin: *make out*

Every single straight guy reading (This can mean you!): *barfs*

Meanwhile in the Naruto Universe…

Edfan: *twitches* I have the feeling… as if yaoi is happening in the EEnE universe… *twitches more* Yaoi bad… And where the heck is my staff?!

Back in the Ed or Dare studio

Kevin: *drinks the mortality potion* Wait a second… Doesn’t mortality mean death?!

Krazzek: Yes.

Kevin: *Dies, then gets blown up from everybody’s BOMBZ!*

Krazzeek: *opens a portal with a random portal gun* In you go, Rolf!

Rolf: But Rolf-

Krazzeek: *Rolf in anyway* And don’t come back until you learn English!

Plank 28: Wait… Isn’t Las Angeles in Chicago?

Krazzeek: Maybe…

Meanwhile…

Rolf: HELP! ROLF IS BEING MUGGED THE FBI MOST WANTED!!

FBI most wanted guy: *kills Rolf*

Back in the Ed or Dare studio

Nazz: *drinks the “This-will-make-you-explode-if-you-make-contact-with-Kevin” potion* Weird… tastes like strawberry.

Tyler: INTO THE GUILOTINE, RYAN!

Ryan: Seriously, you all suck.

Ryan ultimately gets his head CHOPPED OFF

Planks: *revive everyone*

Nazz: *explodes from making eye contact with Kevin by accident*

Anthon: Ohh… *drinks said MONSTER energy drink, in which The planks decide to add extra sugar for fun* YUMMAH!! Tdasfu aet9s53 q87s5%2

Eddy: What the heck is he saying?

Anthon: jiYTt43?! i 95MSZ JUU!! *kills Eddy*

Planks: RUN!!!

Anthon and Krazzeek go on monster sugar rushes, and eventually everyone besides the Planks die.

Naruto universe…

King Edfan: (He has taken over the entire Naruto world by now, and every single bad-guy is dead. Also, he has started war with many other crappy cartoons, like Fanboy Chum Chum, Chowder, Flapjack, and George of the Jungle.) Weird… It’s as though one of my OCs and a random author is destroying the entire EEnE universe… SLAVE 1!

Slave one (AKA: Naruto): Yes sir?

King Edfan: Go see the readings of the Ed Edd n’ Eddy universe!

Naruto: Yes sir.

Two minutes later…

Naruto: Sir, it seems that there are two unknown beings, destroying it completely. The only living matter on the planet right now is an army of about a thousand planks of wood.

King Edfan: Hmm… Interesting… Can you go get a lemonade while I ponder this?

Naruto: Yes, supreme overlord.

Back at the Ed or Dare studio, 5 hours later

Planks: *revive everyone* Enough!

Tyler: *reads Edfan’s dare* You know, if Edfan were here, he would most likely start ranting. A lot…

Anthon: He just doesn’t like yaoi or yuri… at all… However, while we wait for the next dares, enjoy the following facts:

'''Did you know that the words “yaoi” and “yuri” are Japanese words? That means every Fanfiction author speaks a bit of Japanese.'''

Yuri is also a girl’s name in Japanese.

Nearly every single Japanese name ends with a vowel (A, E, I, O, U).

Plank 16: Well, here are the next, and final dares!

From Son Venvor

Time for Venvor to kick butt!

'Kevin:*Venvor Gives him a super wedge* Eds: You guys rock!*Venvor gives them cakes* Sarah:*Gives her the finger* Jimmy:*Kils him the most painful way(makes him watch Fanboy & Chum Chum all day)*'

Venvor: *An orange-haired teen with green futuristic pants and jacket over a white shirt, with a laser sword like in Fushion Fall appears* Well then… Time to destroy you all!

Kevin, Sarah, and Jimmy: *Panics… A LOT!!*

Venvor: *Gives Kevin a SUPER WEDGIE!!!*

Two minutes later

Kevin: *In the hospital, with his underwear over his face*

Doctors: Well, it seems as though some orange-headed teenager with futuristic green pants and a jacket with a laser sword gave you a monster wedgie! Well then, I have no idea how to do this so… *grabs a weird combination of some old meatloaf, and rabies* MAYBE THIS WILL WORK!

Lots of pain of the shovel chinned dork

Venvor: *gives the Eds cake*

Ed: YUMMAY!! *eats his cake ravenously, then Double D’s and Eddy’s*

Eddy: HEY!

Ed: Yes mummy?

Plank 52: NO!! Not… the finger…

Venvor: Oh yes! I’m giving her, the finger!!

Everyone: GASP! THAT’S INHUMAN!

Venvor: *gives Sarah the finger*

Sarah: *Her head violently explodes with her eyeballs burning, with her internal organs spewing everywhere, and her basically dying a gory death*

Venvor: MWAHAHAHA!! *straps a crying Jimmy to a chair* TAKE THIS WIMP!!

Jimmy: NOO!!! *eyes melt out, and ears fall off while the FB&CC theme song plays*

Planks: *wearing earmuffs* Well that wraps us our show. Thanks for putting up with this idiot author’s lateness, and hope we’ll see you again.

Everyone: GOOD BAI!!