Here is the script to my ending to the infamous Ed, Edd n Eddy episode "If It Smells Like an Ed".


Script

(We start with the Kids throwing fruits at the Eds, who are tied to a wall)

Eddy: "This ain't so bad."

Edd: "The lesser of two evils, I suppose. Although, I can't feel something isn't right here."

Ed: "Got me!"

Nazz: "Well, I feel good."

Kevin: "That'll teach ya!"

Jonny: "I hit 'em twice, buddy!”

Sarah: "Idiots!"

Jimmy: "Looks good on ya."

(Right when Jimmy leaves, Rolf taps Jimmy in the shoulder)

Rolf: "Excuse me, semi-opaque one. More for Rolf, yes?"

Jimmy: "You certainly are a little piggy, aren't you?”

Rolf: "Rolf is confused as to why you provide him with these jujubes, but who's complaining?"

Edd and Eddy: "JUJUBES!"

(Jimmy begins to shake.)

Eddy: "Where'd you get those from?"

Jimmy: "Get what?" (He turns around, revealing a boot with the sole painted red.) "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Edd: "Look! A paint-spattered boot!"

Ed: "I smell rotten something. I..."

(Rolf leaves with the Kids, eating jujubes. Kevin sees him with jujubes)

Kevin: "Hey, Rolf, I don't mean to be suspicious but where did you get some more jujubes? I mean, we've seen you with jujubes all day, but I don't remember you eating jujubes when we threw fruits at those dorks."

Nazz: "Yeah, where did you get those jujubes?"

Sarah: "Yeah, spit it out Rolf! (She turns around and doesn't see Jimmy) And where's Jimmy?!?!?!"

Rolf: (after swallowing the jujubes down his throat) "Pale Jimmy gave these to me."

Jonny: "I don't get it, Plank. Why would Jimmy just give Rolf jujubes? Oh, I get it. You still can't talk."

Nazz: "When did Jimmy get some more jujubes?"

(The kids overhear Jimmy shouting and they go back to the lane where Jimmy admits his revenge to the Eds)

Jimmy: (triumphantly tossing the boot away) "Yes! It was me! And I'd do it again!"

Eddy: "Why, you little rat, wait'll I–"

Edd: "But why, Jimmy? Why implicate us?"

Jimmy: "Revenge takes no prisoners, Double D!"

Kevin: "Revenge?"

Sarah: "Is this a joke? 'Cause Jimmy's too young to do revenge!"

Eddy: "Revenge? Just what the heck did we do?!"

Jimmy: "You ruined a perfectly good pair of underpants, you big brute!"

Kevin: "Underpants?"

Jonny: "Oh, I get it. The wedgie! That was pretty funny, huh, guys?"

(The kids all snicker, except Sarah, who glares at them)

Edd: "Oh, the wedgie!"

Ed: "Oh, yeah, that was funny." (He giggles.)

Jimmy: "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

Kevin: "Shh. I think he's saying something."

Jimmy: "I have never been so humiliated in all my life! (He remembers what he did.) Your mocking laughter, gouging at my fragile pride just like my undies. It was at that moment... I formulated my revenge. When the coast was clear, I tippy-toed into action. It began with a missing paintbrush. I just waited for the others to take my bait."

Sarah: (In the memory) "ED!"

(Cut back to reality.)

Nazz: "Jimmy took the paintbrush?"

Sarah: "Say it ain't so!"

(Cut back into the memory.)

Jimmy: "Bingo! My fiendish plan was moving. With my next move, I would have to sacrifice my own shoulder stuffing. Desperate, yes, but ideal for smudging off Plank's mouth."

(Cut back to reality.)

Jonny: (gasps) "No way, Jose!"

(Cut back into the memory.)

Jimmy: (He is shown in his memory tucking the rag into Edd's back pocket.) "Smooth as silk. And let's not forget Eddy. Who else would sink so low as to pierce our heart of friendship? Cad."

(Cut back to reality.)

Kevin: "No way! It was Jimmy who put the hockey stick up the heart?"

(Cut back into the memory.)

Jimmy: "Ignoring the butterflies in my tummy, I needed to protect my innocence. So I chose a patsy to keep you losers off my trail. In enters Rolf, who's insatiable appetite for my jujubes fit snugly into my plans."

(Cut back to reality.)

(Rolf gasps and drops his jujubes to the ground in shock)

(Cut back into the memory.)

Jimmy: "Feeling creative, I decided to tease and taunt you with false clues. Tidbits of information to tickle your nosy parker ways. Artfully, I staged every diversion. Luring Jonny with an isipid acorn was pure genius."

(Cut back to reality.)

Jonny: "Say what?"

(Cut back into the memory.)

Jimmy: "As he would have known to cement my freedom from sin. The jujubes remained a constant theme. But was I satisfied? I should say not. I prepared myself for the enlistment of some help. Happy to see me, the Kankers greeted me with their usual tact of pounding the heck out of me. As I wheezed my proposal about you rotten Eds, a deal with struck."

(Cut back to reality.)

Nazz: "Jimmy? Making a deal with the Kanker Sisters?"

(Cut back into the memory.)

Jimmy: "I had goosebumps as I laid a trail of jujubes that would seal your fate. It was all I could do to contain the excitement in the air. Vengeance would be mine. So I pulled myself together for my final performance... and nailed your butts."

(Jimmy is seen in his memory standing behind the kids as they pound on the door. He is laughing his head off.)

(Back in reality, Jimmy laughs his head off as well, while the Kids stood there shocked and speechless)

Kevin: "Unbelievable!"

Nazz: "I know, right? It was Jimmy this whole time?"

Rolf: "Son of a gun!"

Jonny: "I can't believe it either, buddy!"

Sarah: (quietly) "Jimmy, how could you?"

Kevin: "That twerp think he can get away with his little revenge, huh? (he rolls up his sleeves and clinches his fists) Well, not on my watch!"

(As Jimmy continues laughing his head off, someone tapes him in the shoulder)

Jimmy: "Huh? Aaaah!"

(He screams when he sees Kevin glaring at him angrilly with his arms crossed. So are Nazz, Rolf, Jonny and even Sarah)

Kevin: "So, it was you this whole time!"

Jimmy: "Uh, what was me?"

Kevin: "You and your revenge!"

Jimmy: (sweating) "Revenge? What revenge? I don't know what you're talking about!"

Kevin: "Oh, come on, Fluffy, quit playing dumb. We heard the whole thing."

Nazz: "Yeah, not cool, dude! You ruined our hard work just for misplaced revenge! What were you thinking?"

Jimmy: (stammering) "Um, well. Uh, um, well. You see."

Jonny: "Yeah, and you also wiped Plank's mouth off and tied me up to jujubes!"

Jimmy: (laughs nervously) "Well, it's really funny, you see."

Rolf: "Not only Rolf was given these sweet, delicious jujubes. But you dare use Rolf as a PATSY?!?! All over a little REVENGE?!?!" (Jimmy nervously steps back as Rolf was boiling red in anger) Making Rolf follow the Ed-boys suspicious-like! Never in all my life has Rolf's been used! And just for that, I hereby sentence you Jimmy, out of the Urban Rangers!"

Jimmy: "What? No! You can't do this to me, Rolf! Sarah, you get me help me out of this!" (Sarah was standing the other way, sniffling) "Sarah? Are you alright?"

(He puts his hand on Sarah's shoulder. This causes Sarah to immediately turn around, who is more than angry at Jimmy: she's furious)

Sarah: "DON'T TOUCH ME, JIMMY!!!!!"

(Her scream causes Jimmy to land flat on his face)

Jimmy: "Wh-wh-wha?"

Sarah: "YOU RUINED FRIENDSHIP DAY! YOU RUINED ALL OUR HARD WORK! YOU USED ME! YOU USED ALL OF US! ALL FOR NOTHING! NOTHING BUT REVENGE! And for what? A STUPID WEDGIE!"

(Jimmy is shocked and saddened that his best friend in the whole wide world would yell at him, he starts tearing up. Sarah falls to the ground sobbing)

Nazz: "You oughta be ashamed of yourself! Accusing the Eds for stuff they didn't do! Just for petty revenge over something so ridiculous!"

Jimmy: (crying) "I couldn't help myself! It was Eddy's fault! And the wedgie!"

Kevin: "Dude, it was just a wedgie. Why don't you just get over it instead of just acting like a big dumb baby."

Nazz: "Yeah, there was no need to go crazy like you did."

Eddy: "Okay. Now that we've been proven innocent, can you untie us now?"

Nazz: "Sure, dude."

(The Kids untie the Eds)

Nazz: "Listen, we're sorry for accusing you and trying to beat you."

Rolf: "Rolf apologizes too."

Jonny: "I'm sorry, too. Plank would say he's sorry also, but he can't talk."

Edd: "We forgive you. And Jonny, I think Plank's gonna want this."

(Edd reaches in his pocket and hand out a crayon)

Jonny: "Gee, thanks Double D! Hear that, Plank? You're getting your mouth back!" (He draws a new mouth on Plank. He then "listens" to Plank) Plank says he apologize too, but he actually knew Jimmy was behind this the whole time. He would've said something earlier but his mouth was erased."

Sarah: "I hate to say this, but I'm sorry too."

Ed: "Awww. Apology accepted, baby sister. Big hug!" (Ed hugs Sarah, who is constantly irritated) "Okay Ed, will you please let go of me now? (Ed gently puts Sarah down) Thank you. And I'm sorry to you too, Double D! My boyfriend! Will you ever forgive me?"

(She hugs Edd, who is feeling uncomfortable, knowing she had a crush on her since "An Ed Too Many")

Edd: "I forgive you too, Sarah."

Kevin: (sighs) "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I apologize too. I apologize for everything too. (The Eds are shocked at what Kevin said) Calling you Dorks, beating you up, Eddy's zit, his middle name and everything. Seems the only dork in this town is Fluffy. Why don't we put all of that aside and become friends?"

(The Eds, especially Eddy, remain shocked and speechless at what Kevin said)

Eddy: "You really mean it?"

Kevin: "Sure, Eddy."

Eddy: "Well, okay then Kevin. Guys, we're finally in! We're finally popular!"

Edd: "After the day we've been through, everything works fine with us for once. It's a miracle!"

Ed: "I'm in my happy place, guys!”

Kevin: (turns to Jimmy) "Where were we?" (He cracks his knuckles to Jimmy, causing him to gulp in fear) You are so dead."

Jonny: "We're gonna give you such a pinch!"

Rolf: (pulling his shirt sleeves off, showing his mucles) "Prepare as Rolf is going to give you the beating of your life!"

Nazz: "Count me in!"

Sarah: "Yeah, me too!"

Jimmy: "You too, Sarah? But you can't do this to me! We're best friends!"

Sarah: "Not anymore! Consider this friendship over!"

Eddy: "I want a shot at this guy too!"

(The Kids and Eddy all surround Jimmy getting ready to beat him)

Lee: (offscreen) "Stop right there!"

Everyone: "Huh?"

(Lee, Marie and May pop up and break the fence to come through)

Everyone: (except Jimmy) "The Kanker Sisters!"

Lee: "So, our little deal was all part of a plan to get revenge on our boyfriends, huh?"

Marie: "Then guess what? The deal is off!"

May: "Yeah, the deal is off!”

Lee: "We heard everything this squirt said."

Marie: "And we're gonna return the favor."

May: "Yeah! Let's return the favor."

(The Kids and the Kankers all surround Jimmy, who is trembling in fear)

Kevin: "Any last words before we pound you?"

Jimmy: "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, everybody! I only meant to hurt the Eds, not all of you!"

Kevin: "Yeah, well, you're gonna feel even more sorry when we get our hands on you."

Lee: "Say your prayers, twerp."

Jimmy: "No, no, no! Have mercy! Please!"

Rolf: "GET HIM!"

(Everyone, except Ed and Edd, mercileslly beat up Jimmy. He shrieks in pain and agony)

Ed: "This is a good fight, huh, Double D?"

(You probably might think this ends right here, but here's an extra part. Later that day, Jimmy (who is completely bruised from the beatdown) is hanging from the tree by his underwear. He comes sailing up and hits the tree branch. Jimmy gets his biggest punishment in his life, which is exactly like Eddy's punishment from "Brother, Can You Spare an Ed?")

Kevin: "Nice one, Nazz!"

Nazz: "That was fun!"

Kevin: "I gotta hand it too you, Dor--- uh, I mean Eddy. This is the best scam yet."

Edd: "I must agree, 'cause this is the exact same punishment we did to you, Eddy."

Eddy: "Don't remind me. Who's up next?"

Jonny: "It's our turn, huh, Plank?"

Jimmy: "No, wait!"

(Jonny jumps on the board, and Jimmy screams as he hits the tree)

Jonny: "Plank says that serves you right for erasing his mouth and tying me up!"

Lee: "It's our turn now!"

Marie: "This is what you get for getting revenge on our boyfriends!"

(The Kankers altogether jump on the board and Jimmy hits the tree again)

May: "That was fun!"

Sarah: "I'll take it from here! Now that we're no longer best friends, I'm gonna hit you so hard to the tree!"

(Sarah walks back and charges to the board, as Jimmy hits the tree way harder)

Jimmy: (dazed) "I see stars."

Eddy: "Step right up, Rolfy Boy! It only costs one quarter."

Rolf: "You must be pulling Rolf's leg. Rolf shall return!"

(Rolf runs off, while Kevin gets a turn)

Kevin: "I'll just take your turn until you come back."

(Kevin jumps on the board, and hits Jimmy to the tree again. Eddy laughs)

Eddy: "This is what you get, Jimmy. The ultimate punishment. My greatest plan ever!"

Ed: (standing on fours) "And I've got a jar on my buttocks."

(Rolf returns with a giant bag of quarters and drops it on Ed)

Rolf: "Rolf would like these many goes at Pale Jimmy."

Jimmy: "Are you serious?!"

Ed: "Cool! Déjà vu!"

Jimmy: "Wait! I think I had enough punishment for now."

Rolf: "Stand back, as Rolf has eaten Mama's pickled cabbage!"

(He raises the hammer and brings it down on the target)

Jimmy: "Oh no."

(He screams as the camera zooms in his mouth, ending the fanfic to the alternate ending to "If It Smells Like an Ed")

I hope you liked it.

Trivia

  • Jimmy's punishment is exactly the same punishment for Eddy from "Brother, Can You Spare an Ed?"
  • This take place after "X Marks the Ed", "Brother, Can You Spare an Ed?" and "Your Ed Here". Despite the other two episodes aired after "If It Smells Like an Ed", but this is non-canon.
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